1980 - You Can Say That Again (3 page)

For a long moment, I sat still, stunned.

One thousand dollars a day for at least thirty days, possibly longer!

This can’t be true, I thought. Where’s the catch?

Yet looking at this man, I realized that one thousand dollars a day to him would be chick-feed. As Lu had said this man stank of money.

But I wasn’t so bemused as to grab at such an offer. There was something about this man that warned me I could be walking into trouble. Again, I glanced at the Ape, standing motionless, glaring at me.

‘That sounds interesting, Mr. Durant,’ I said in my nonchalant voice. ‘What are the conditions?’

‘I want to buy your full hearted cooperation,’ he returned. ‘I understand that you have a placid temperament. Is that correct?’

‘That depends. I’ve never had trouble with my directors. I’ve . . .’

He cut me off with a wave of his hand.

‘Whole hearted cooperation. Let me spell it out. I will only hire you at one thousand dollars a day if you will do exactly what I tell you to do without any query or hesitation. That is what I mean by wholehearted cooperation. What I will ask you to do will not be dangerous, won’t be breaking the law and won’t be beyond your powers. You either give me your wholehearted cooperation or you don’t get hired.’

There must be a catch in this, I thought, but my mind was already browsing over the thought of one thousand dollars a day.

‘Just what is it, you want me to do?’

He studied me for a long, uncomfortable moment.

‘So you are not prepared to give me your wholehearted cooperation without further details? Be sure about this.’

Was there a warning in his voice? I began to sweat again. To be paid one thousand dollars a day would be marvelous, but I felt in my bones there must be a catch in it. The kidnapping, the Ape, this big money bait and Durant, looking like someone connected with the Mafia, made up a scene that scared me.
It won’t be dangerous, won’t be breaking the law, won’t be beyond your powers
. This was too glib. In spite of being desperate to earn money, I wasn’t going to walk into anything, blind.

‘No,’ I said firmly, ‘I’m not prepared to give you my wholehearted cooperation unless you tell me just what it is you want me to do.’

I heard a low growling noise from the Ape: a sound like distant thunder. Durant scratched his forehead, frowned, then shrugged.

‘Very well, Mr. Stevens. I had hoped that this offer of money would be enough for you to agree to any work offered to you.’

‘Then you are mistaken. So what do you want me to do?’

His thin lips parted in a wintry smile.

‘As you insist, I will give you some idea of what will be required of you.’ He paused, then taking out a lizard skin cigar case, he selected a cigar, rolled the cigar between his lips, then nipped off the end with a gold cigar cutter. He glanced over his shoulder at the Ape, who moved forward, struck a match and held the flame while Durant puffed.

While this was going on, I shook out a cigarette from the pack of Chesterfields and lit up.

‘I need you to impersonate a man who resembles you,’ Durant said, behind a cloud of rich smelling smoke.

This was the last thing I expected to hear.

‘Impersonate? Who is this man?’

‘For the moment, that is something you needn’t know.’

‘Why is it necessary for me to impersonate this man?’

Durant made a movement as if a fly was irritating him.

‘The man you will be impersonating needs freedom of movement,’ he said, a sudden rasp of impatience in his voice. ‘He is being constantly watched by a group of people. His freedom of movement is essential for promoting an important business deal. As he is being harassed by his business rivals and the press, we have decided to hire a standin — that is the word, I believe, you use in the movie world: a man who will draw off this group and the press who are becoming a nuisance, while the man you will be impersonating will be able to leave the country, travel in Europe and complete this deal without the constant worry of being followed and spied on. Once the deal has been completed, you will be able to return to your normal way of life with some thirty thousand dollars in your bank.’

I sat back and thought about this while Durant smoked and stared away from me. I had read enough about industrial spies. Once, I had played an industrial spy in a low grade movie. The machinations of the big wheelers to put through a deal had long ceased to surprise me. If this big wheel was being spied on, it seemed to me to be a smart move to hire a standin. It wouldn’t bother me to be spied on, and there was this bait of one thousand dollars a day.

‘But why the kidnapping?’ I asked to gain time.

Durant let out an exasperated sigh.

‘Now you have been told what you are required to do,’ he said impatiently, ‘you must see the utmost secrecy was necessary. No one knows you are here. You don’t know where you are. Should you decline to cooperate, you will again be drugged and returned to your apartment.’

Again I thought, then said, ‘How do I know I will be paid when I have completed the job?’

The wintry smile returned. He took from his wallet a slip of paper. The Ape moved forward, took it from him and handed it to me. It was a credit note on the Chase National Bank for one thousand dollars in my name.

‘Every day you are here and working for me, you will be given a similar credit note,’ Durant said. ‘You don’t have to worry about money.’

I no longer hesitated.

It won’t be dangerous, won’t be breaking the law,
won’t be beyond your powers
.

So why not?

‘Okay, Mr. Durant,’ I said. ‘You have yourself a deal.’

‘It is understood then, Mr. Stevens,’ he said, his black eyes like the points of an icepick, ‘I am buying your wholehearted cooperation? You will do exactly what you will be told to do?’

Just for a moment I wavered, then made my decision.

‘You have yourself a deal,’ I repeated.

chapter two

I
sat in the lounging chair and waited.

I was committed. I had said I would give Durant my wholehearted cooperation. I had a credit note in my wallet for one thousand dollars. According to him, tomorrow, I would be given another credit note for another one thousand dollars.

I was to impersonate some unknown big wheeler dealer while he went off to fix a deal his rivals either wanted to stop or wanted to know about. In return for impersonating him, I would, after thirty days, find in the Chase National Bank thirty thousand dollars to my credit.

When I had said it was a deal, Durant had nodded, got to his feet and moved to the door. He had paused, stared at me with his hard black eyes and said, ‘Wait, Mr. Stevens,’ then he left, followed by the Ape and the door slid shut.

So I lit a cigarette and waited.

I was far from feeling easy. There was something about Durant and the Ape that scared me, but I needed this kind of money. I had been assured there was no danger and I wouldn’t be breaking the law, so it seemed to me, I would need to have my head examined to turn down an offer like this.

I waited uneasily for some thirty minutes, then the door slid back and the little old woman, plus her poodle, came in. The door must have been controlled by an electronic beam for she had taken only a couple of steps forward before the door snapped shut.

She was wearing a fawn, turtle neck cashmere sweater and black slacks: a rope of pearls with a sheen on them that told me they were genuine, completed this chic outfit. She paused and gave me a friendly smile. The poodle made a whining sound and struggled in her arms as if anxious to give me a lick of death.

‘Mr. Stevens,’ she said gently. ‘May I intrude?’

I regarded her sourly, then got to my feet.

‘Well, you’re here, aren’t you?’ I said.

She moved further into the room, still smiling and sat down in the chair recently occupied by Durant.

‘I have come to apologize, Mr. Stevens. I can quite understand how you are feeling. This must be so strange to you.’

Remaining standing, I said, ‘Mr. Durant has explained.’

‘Of course, but I don’t want you to have any bad feelings, Mr. Stevens. Do sit down. I feel I must explain further.’

So I sat down.

‘How nice of you,’ she said, staring at me with her dark blue, hard eyes. ‘Tell me, Mr. Stevens, is your mother alive?’

‘She’s been dead for the past five years,’ I said curtly.

‘Sad. Mr. Stevens, I am quite sure, if she were living, she would have done what I did. The man we are asking you to impersonate is my son.’

I thought of my mother: a kind, homely body without a brain in her head, but with a God fearing conscience.

‘My mother wouldn’t have drugged a man and kidnapped him,’ I said coldly. ‘Let us leave her out of this.’

She played with the poodle’s ear.

‘One never knows with mothers,’ she said, still smiling. ‘In trouble, they can rise to unexpected things.’

This was beginning to bore me. I shrugged and said nothing.

‘I want you to believe, Mr. Stevens, that I do admire your work and your talent,’ she said. ‘It makes me very happy that you have agreed to cooperate. Your help will be more than appreciated.’

‘I’m getting well paid,’ I said woodenly.

‘Yes. I understand that money is important to you.’

‘Isn’t it to most people?’

‘I’m afraid you are still a little hostile, Mr. Stevens. Do please relax. You will be doing a most helpful job and when it is over, you will have quite a lot of money.’

She smiled. ‘I am doing this for my son. Please understand.’

But I couldn’t relax. There was something about this old woman that scared me as Durant scared me, but I made an effort. I forced a smile.

She nodded.

‘That’s better.’ She patted the poodle. ‘I’ve so often thought, when watching your movies, what a nice smile you have, Mr. Stevens.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Well, now, let us get down to business as my son so often says. You have been kind enough to give us your whole hearted cooperation.’ For a brief moment, her smile became fixed, and the steel in the dark blue eyes showed. ‘That is right, isn’t it?’

‘Frankly, I’m getting bored with that phrase,’ I said. ‘I told Mr. Durant, I agreed to his terms. Do we have to go over and over it again?’

She gave a light little laugh.

‘You must forgive an old woman, Mr. Stevens. Old women are inclined to be repetitive. Oh, incidentally, do call me Harriet. Let us be informal. May I call you Jerry?’

‘Of course.’

‘This afternoon, Jerry, we will begin. I have a good make-up man who will transform you as nearly as possible to resemble my son. Please be patient with him. He is a perfectionist and I must admit, a little tiresome. We want to be sure that you will resemble my son so closely no one viewing you from a distance won’t know you are not my son. Is that understood?’

‘That’s okay with me.’

‘Do call me Harriet.’

‘Okay, Harriet.’

She lifted one of the poodle’s ears, rubbed it between her fingers making the dog whine with pleasure.

‘Then there will be other sessions. There will be other things for you to learn, but I am sure you are a quick study. Most actors are.’ She smiled at me.

‘I’ll do my best,’ I said.

‘Of course you will. Nothing difficult, but it is important.’ She paused, then went on, ‘Are you married, Jerry?’

This unexpected question surprised me.

‘Divorced,’ I said curtly.

‘So many people in the film world are divorced. Where is your wife?’

‘Does that matter?’

She shook her head and gave me a playful smile.

‘Please, Jerry, be cooperative. I need your answers to the questions I am going to ask.’

‘She’s in New York. She married again.’

‘You don’t see her?’

‘I haven’t seen her for the past five years.’

‘Children?’

‘None.’

‘Your mother is dead. Your father?’

‘He’s dead too.’

‘Your relations? Brothers? Sisters?’

I began to get a creepy feeling up my spine.

‘Now that you mention it,’ I said. ‘I have no relations.’

‘How sad!’ She didn’t look sad. ‘So you are quite on your own.’

‘That’s it.’

She nodded.

‘Now, an attractive man like you must have a girlfriend. Tell me about her.’

‘An actor worth one dollar and thirty cents doesn’t have a girlfriend.’

Again she nodded.

‘Yes, of course, but very soon, Jerry, with thirty thousand dollars in your bank, you will have many girlfriends. It is all a matter of patience.’

She was right there. I had all the girlfriends I needed when I had been making money. With thirty thousand dollars in the bank, I would only have to whistle.

‘Now that we have your wholehearted cooperation, Jerry,’ she went on, after a pause, ‘I want to tell you about Mazzo.’ She spent a moment fondling the poodle. ‘I really don’t know what I would do without Mazzo. His appearance is deceptive, but there is nothing he wouldn’t do for me . . . nothing.’

I looked blankly at her.

‘You have already met him. Mazzo is my loyal and true servant who brought you that delicious meal that I had ordered specially for you.’

I gaped at her.

‘You mean that — that Ape of a man?’

She patted her poodle.

‘You mustn’t speak unkindly of Mazzo’s looks. No one can be as handsome as you, Jerry. Mazzo is going to be your constant companion, Jerry. He will help you in many things. Without him by your side, I don’t think you would succeed in impersonating my son. For years now, Mazzo has been my son’s bodyguard. When you are seen together, it will be assumed you are my son.’

The thought of having that Ape as a constant companion gave me goose pimples.

As I was about to protest, she went on, ‘Changing the subject, Jerry, have you ever met Larry Edwards?’

‘Why, sure,’ I said, surprised by the question. ‘Why do you ask?’

I certainly remembered Larry Edwards. He was like me: an unemployed bit-part actor. We often met at Lu Prentz’s office, both hunting for work. We hadn’t much in common, as both of us wondered if one of us would get a job the other was hoping for, but we did have an occasional beer together and moaned about our hard times.