18 Thoughts (My So-Called Afterlife Book 3) (8 page)

“Olga!”

I turned, and there were Kyle and Sean with Nic.
Nosy
, I thought toward my best friend, throwing her a look she didn’t return. She looked like she desperately needed to tell me something. When Sean was about an arm’s length away, he launched himself at me, throwing his arms around my waist and swinging me around.

I ruffled his afro, because that’s what the Jedi Order always did when we saw him.

“I’ve been trying to call you. Don’t you check your phone, girl?”

I pulled my cell out of my purse and cursed mentally. I’d forgotten to turn off the silent mode after my work shift ended. Five missed calls. How could I have been so careless? No doubt, all of these calls could only mean one thing.

“Conner?”

I met Kyle’s eyes and he nodded, hugging me tight.

“He’s awake,” he whispered in my ear as a wave of applause and cheers came from the crowd when the band starting to play again.

I glanced at Nate. He’d been so nice to me all night long, and I felt bad leaving him, but after eighty days, Conner was finally awake. Words escaped me, but of course Nate knew.

He nodded toward the street and gave a slight smile. “Go.”

Taking long, measured breaths, I wiped the tears from my eyes as I rushed down the hospital corridor. I couldn’t believe he was awake and apparently talking. He remembered everything and didn’t seem to have many side effects. Doctors were running tests but already declared his dramatic recovery a miracle, if you believed in that sort of thing, which I did.

Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, Conner’s parents, were standing outside his hospital room when I arrived, talking to his main doctor.

“May I go in?” I bounced from foot to foot, and I’m sure it looked like I needed a potty break pretty bad.

His mom nodded. “Yes, of course. But just a heads up… Conner is a little… off.”

“Off? But the gang said he was completely fine.”

Nic, Sean, and Kyle were parking the car. They’d dropped me off at the front entrance, giving me the opportunity to see him first, and alone.

“It seems like he is, but his personality is different. I’m sure we’ll have the old Conner back soon, but I want you to be prepared.”

“Okay,” I said, drawing out the word while pushing his door open.

My shoes clacked across the tile, and I studied him sitting in his bed in a relaxed position. His blond hair disheveled, he looked sexier than ever.

“Took you long enough.” His husky voice echoed across the room, sounding… flirtatious?

“I know! I’m so sorry! Phone was off.” I rushed to his bedside and gently wrapped my arms around his neck.

“You can squeeze me harder, Olga. I’m not going to break.”

I laughed, giving him a little squeeze, still afraid this was all a dream, then carefully sat next to him on the bed.

He cupped my face in his hand. The passion that rose in his eyes—unexpected and almost dark—caused me to suck in a breath of surprise. He caught my hair in a painful grasp and pulled me toward him with a fierce longing. I went numb as he attacked my lips with his, too confused to move. When he shoved his tongue in my mouth, I put my arms against his chest and shoved him backward.

Blackness seemed to have swallowed up his pupils. His gaze on me was still and small, like a cat observing its prey. “What’s wrong, baby? I thought this is what you wanted.”

Baby?
“I do. But, Conner, you just woke up, and I don’t know. It just isn’t how I imagined my first kiss.”

“Your
first
kiss? Well, that explains why you were so bad at it.”

My cheeks flushed red as he laughed. My chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. Mrs. Anderson was correct, this wasn’t the Conner we knew. But I had to try to get through to him.

“So, could you hear everything we’ve said to you? I mean, while you were in your coma.”

He shook his head, confusion spreading across his features as he batted his long lashes at me. “Some of it. What are you hoping I heard? Let me guess, the part when you told me you loved me?”

I bit the inside of my lip as I nodded, wondering why he’d taunted me. If I could’ve crawled inside him, I would have, so desperate to understand his puzzling actions, his unusual gruffness.

“I get it. The good little Catholic girl inside you thinks there’s a lesson to learn here. But you’re wrong. This didn’t happen so we can finally fall madly in love with each other and start living the lives we were meant to live. From now on, I’ll do what I want, when I want, and that includes not being tied down by some heavy relationship.”

Nodding numbly, I bit back my retort. Although shocked by his outburst, I was certain his behavior resulted from a side effect that would go away with time. We sat there in silence for a moment, me thinking of something to say, and him scrolling through the numbers on his phone. I didn’t know what else to do. My lips felt full and rubbed raw from his aggressive kiss, and my heart felt sick. Suddenly, a familiar, annoying voice pierced the silence.

“Ohmigawd! Conner!” Tammy squealed, walking in wearing jeans that gave a new definition to skinny. “You’re up!”

“Hey, girl. How you doin’?”

She squeezed into the space in front of me and perched on the side of his bed, forcing me to stand. “I’m a helluva lot better now that you’re awake. I was so worried about you!”

He pushed a stray piece of hair out of his face. “Is that so?”

Blinking, I glanced around the room, searching for our friends, anyone to help. “What are you doing here anyway?”

She looked up at me, nose high in the air. “None of your business.”

Not feeling an ounce of patience for her, I pulled her off the bed and reclaimed my spot. “Look, you should go. Conner needs his rest.”

She rolled her eyes and turned back to him. “She’s such a party pooper. You’ve been in a coma for almost three months. Do you really want
me
to leave?”

I didn’t miss her stress on the word “me.” But Conner wouldn’t pick her over me, no way.

“No, Tammy, I don’t want
you
to leave.” Conner grabbed my hand. “Olga, I’ll catch up with you later.”

All I could do is gape, wanting to say something, but remaining speechless.

Tammy tossed her perfect blonde hair over her shoulder and waved goodbye.

I stood, staggering a bit. My legs felt like they were made of spaghetti, and I fought the urge to cry. Bursting into tears in front of my nemesis wouldn’t do any good. Yelling at Conner after all he’d been through didn’t seem right, either. I thought about being bold enough to yell at Tammy, but looking at her, I realized she wasn’t worth the effort. Hopefully, that still counted as boldness, knowing when to walk away.

Just as I was leaving, Nic finally showed up with Sean and Kyle.

“Where are you going?” she asked me.

“Conner doesn’t want to see me right now.” I rubbed the back of my neck.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see. He’s not himself. Or maybe he blames me for being in a coma. I don’t know. I’m gonna go home. Call me when you’re finished visiting, okay?”

She nodded, frowning.

Down the hall, I ran into Nate, literally. You’d think a guy who could read my thoughts would sense me coming.

“Unless you’re thinking of your exact location while rounding the corner, how would I know that?”

I shoved past him. “Whatever.”

He chased after me, but I could hear him struggling, his shoe scrapping the floor as if he had to drag his leg behind him. “So that visit with Conner didn’t go very well.”

“Nope.” I didn’t know why I was being so mean. Conner’s behavior wasn’t his fault.

Nate stepped in front of me, blocking my path, and wrapped me in a hug. “He’s been in a coma for a long time. I’m sure he’s not mad at you about the accident. It just might be a few days before he’s back to his old self.”

“How do you know? Can you read his mind too?” I mumbled into his sweater.

He leaned back slightly and brushed a piece of hair off my forehead. “Still just yours. Thank goodness. Your thoughts are enough to keep me more than occupied.”

I knew he was only trying to keep things light, but his comment annoyed me.

A girl who looked about our age walked by us in the hallway, ogling him.

“Hey, you!” I called, and she turned. “He thinks you’re hot.”

I whirled away from Nate and thought,
You can bother someone else for a change
. Then I raced down the corridor toward the exit, finally letting my tears fall, along with my hopes that anything would ever be normal again.

“No matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn’t stop for your grief.”
—Nate’s Thoughts

week and a half later, on Conner’s eighteenth birthday, I stood off to the side of the stage, my eyes wide with shock. The Cantankerous Monkey Squad had just finished opening for another local band at Snug Harbor restaurant for a Rock & Roll Fund-raiser event benefiting the arts. I thought it was too soon for Conner to do concerts with Sean and Kyle. Conner should’ve needed months of all sorts of therapy for what he’d been through. But the doctors labeled him a miracle, and his parents thought the more he immersed himself in old habits, the quicker we’d get the “old” Conner back. Right now, the “new” Conner had a beer in one hand and another hand all over some groupie wearing barely there jean shorts and a see-through floral lace tank revealing her hot pink bra, their lips locked together in a passionate kiss.

Dizziness washed over me as I watched their major display of PDA, unable to tear my gaze away no matter how badly I wanted to. Finally, I started to back away but stumbled into something. Turning around, I discovered a
someone
.

“What a douche bag.” Tammy. At first, I thought she was talking about me bumping into her, but her gaze was locked on Conner. “I can’t believe this crap. I thought he was one of the good ones.”

I swallowed, my throat tight. “What does it matter to you if he’s hooking up with some random tourist?”

She sucked in a breath. “Because
we
just hooked up
last night
.”

“You hooked up with—” I stopped because I realized I’d shouted. And I was about to say my boyfriend, but he wasn’t, never was. I’d just wished he was for most of my life.