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My footsteps reverberated off the wooden floors, and I hope he heard me. I sure as hell heard Bridget, sobbing quietly in Maia’s arms behind me. It spurred me on, feeding my anger.

I stopped when I got to the open plan kitchen and dining room. Alex was standing near the French doors, leaning on the back of one of the dining room chairs, head bowed. He was looking more and more like Bridget these days, but unlike Bridget he looked unkempt. God only knew what he was into these days, but I had my suspicions it was more than just booze. He had lost weight and he looked much older than me, even though we were the same age.

I wanted to believe that he knew what he was doing but he couldn’t stop himself. I hoped it was grief that made him act this way, and that the real Alex was still in there, somewhere. I just wished to hell he’d wake up to himself and get some help. If he carried on behaving like this, he was on a sure-fire path to self-destruction. I couldn’t bear to think of Bridget losing both her kids. As resilient as she was, that would be enough to break anyone.

He looked up slowly, and I could see how out of it he was. He had trouble focusing on me. Good. Maybe the drunker he was, the less likely he would be to cause any more trouble.

“What the fuck do
you
want?” he growled, confusion giving way to anger as he pushed himself upright.

“I’m taking you home,” I said evenly. “You’ve out-stayed your welcome.”

Honestly, the idea of being in the same car as him sent a chill up my spine. But if it got him away from Bridget – and Maia – that was a small price to pay.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.”

That didn’t really surprise me. Somehow, he managed to hold my gaze steadily, even though he himself was the opposite. Great. Not drunk enough to go quietly, but definitely drunk enough to cause more damage.

I could hear footsteps coming up the hall, and quiet sniffing. Alex’s bloodshot eyes slid from mine to the hall behind me. I could tell the exact moment he laid eyes on Maia. His mouth went slack, his eyes widened and he somehow managed the miracle of standing stock still.

“Em?” he whispered.

The hope in his voice was pitifully clear. I knew how much he wanted her to be Em, because I’d wanted that too. But she wasn’t. And despite everything, I had to let him down gently because I knew how much it hurt.

I turned side on, keeping all three of them in my line of sight. I was wired, prepared for anything. But still the disbelief on his face took me by surprise. I actually felt sorry for him. I reached out for Maia’s hand, gently drawing her in closer to me.

“This is Maia. Maia – Alex.”

Stripped of his former bravado, he just stared at her.

“Hi,” she said softly.

Alex made his way around the table, stumbling over one of the dining chairs as he caught it with his foot. He didn’t take his eyes off her and he didn’t speak, but the expression on his face made my heart ache. Had he even heard a word I said?

I put my hand out toward Alex, warning him off. I could feel Maia bristling beside me anxiously.

“Alright,” I said quickly. “Enough. I’ll take you home.”

That seemed to jolt Alex out of his stupor and he tore his eyes away from her. “What?”

“Please, love,” Bridget pleaded, standing beside us, wringing her hands together nervously. “Let him take you home.”

He looked from me to Bridget, and finally back to Maia again. Then he straightened up, backing away a couple of steps and reaching out blindly for a chair to hold onto.

“You’re not her,” he said, as if he had caught her trying to trick him. “You’re not Em.”

She shook her head sadly. “No, I’m not. I’m sorry.”

He deflated in front of me. I saw the hope wither and die inside of him. His expression changed in a heartbeat, and he went dark with rage, turning that rage back on me.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he demanded, as if the previous few minutes had never even happened.

I could feel the anger begin to simmer inside of me again. “Bridget called me. She said you wouldn’t leave. I’m just here to make sure you do.”

I pulled on Maia’s hand, drawing her back behind me slightly. Alex looked over at Bridget and shook his head, as if he didn’t believe me. The sooner he was out of here, the better.

“Come on,” I said. “Time for you to call it a night. You’ve done enough here, bro.”

That seemed to trigger him and he turned back to me as the tension in the room mounted. “I’m not your fuckin’
bro
. Thanks to you, I’m not anyone’s bro, not anymore.”

It felt like a sucker-punch to the gut. I tried to tough it out when all I really wanted to do was double over and give in to the pain. But I wasn’t going to let him get to me. My priority here wasn’t me. It was Bridget and Maia, and keeping him away from them.

I sucked in a breath through my teeth and tried again. “Get out, Alex. Walk home, I don’t care. Just go.”

Alex shook his head, planting his feet firmly, getting comfortable. The familiar toxic smirk appeared and my heart sank. He wasn’t going to make this easy, on any of us.

“I don’t even know how you can live with yourself.”

Not again. “I’ve had enough of this bullshit from you. I don’t know how many times we’ve been through this already, but you need some new material, dude. This shit’s getting old.”

“You look nervous,” Alex grinned, his mouth pulled unnaturally tight, turning it into more of a grimace. “Don’t you want me to tell the replica what you’re really like?”

“Stop it!” Bridget snapped. “Her name is Maia.”

Alex nodded, as if considering the matter. “Well,
Maia
, perhaps you and I should get to know each other a bit better.”

I squeezed Maia’s hand then let it go, taking a step towards Alex. “Are you gonna leave quietly, or do I have to throw you out?”

Alex sneered and I had to fight the urge to punch it right off his face.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. “Afraid she’ll find out all about you? You might have everyone else fooled, but we both know the truth don’t we?”

My hand flexed into a fist and I readied myself. He’d had this coming for a long time. Suddenly, I didn’t care about Bridget or Henry or making it unnecessarily hard on them. I just wanted to know the sense of satisfaction that came from hitting him. I could almost hear Vinnie in my head, egging me on.

“Just go home, Alex,” Bridget begged, coming forward. “Please?”

“You’re such a hero aren’t you mate?” I said, the blood pounding in my ears. “Pushing and shoving your own mother around, treating her like shit too. How the hell do
you
sleep at night?”

Alex blinked, as if desperately trying to keep up with the shift in focus. The façade slipped away and he turned to Bridget. It was incredible, the way he could turn on a dime. One minute spoiling for a fight, the next minute looking young and vulnerable and full of remorse. My head spun, just watching him.

“I didn’t hit you, Mum – did you tell him that I didn’t hit you?”

“No, you didn’t hit me,” Bridget said carefully.

“You pushed her into a table instead.”

“I didn’t push her! She fell!”

“Trying to get the hell away from you!” I cried, losing it finally. “Get out, you’ve done enough for one night, don’t you think? She doesn’t want you here tonight – come back when you’re sober, you can apologise to her then.”

Alex reached up with both hands, pulling at his hair and grimacing, as if trying to think straight through the alcoholic haze clouding his brain. “You should’ve just given me my keys, Mum! That’s all I wanted – my keys!”

“And watch you kill yourself – or someone else?” Bridget demanded, in one of the rare times I’d ever heard her raise her voice. “Don’t you think we’ve had enough heartache in this family? Isn’t it enough that Em’s gone? You’re my son, the only child I have left, and yet you insist on destroying yourself right in front of me!”

My heart pounded in my ears. I’d never heard her speak to Alex like that before.

“Don’t do that!” Alex croaked, breaking down and making a grab for the dining room table to steady himself. “Don’t lay any more of that guilt shit on me!”

“It’s not guilt, Alex – it’s the truth! Why won’t you let me help you? You can’t go on like this –
I
can’t go on like this! You’re breaking my heart, can’t you see that?”

Alex sucked in a gut-wrenching sob, bending over the dining table. For a second, I thought he was going to pass out, and I swapped an anxious look with Bridget. Suddenly, he swept his arm across the table, knocking a bowl to the floor, sending fruit flying in all directions. The bowl smashed, the sound ricocheting through the room.

“Give me my keys!” he roared.

Bridget stared at him, wide-eyed, and I could see her trembling from where I stood. She was doing a good job of holding herself together, but I could tell the mask was wearing thin. Maia moved to put her arm around her, pulling her close. I couldn’t watch this nightmare any longer.

“That’s it!” I bellowed, striding towards him. “If I have to fuckin’ throw you out, I will!”

Alex side-stepped me – impressive, considering his inebriated state – and made his way around the other side of the table, putting a barrier between us. This was no game though. My face was on fire as I struggled to keep my temper under control.

“No time for your bullshit,” I warned. “Final warning!”

“Yeah,” Alex said slowly, nodding as if he was actually enjoying this. “That’s right. That’s the real you, isn’t it? Maybe now your new girlfriend will see what kind of man you really are. S’pose you told her a bunch of shit about how you were gonna keep her safe too, didn’t ya?”

“You’re out of your fuckin’ mind!”

Alex gave a huff, a kind of laugh with an edge to it that was far from funny.

“Yeah, right.
I’m
out of my mind,” he mumbled. “What’s the matter dude – truth hurt?”

In an instant, my blood-pressure sky-rocketed again. I hung on to one of the dining chairs in front of me, tempted to pick it up and throw it at him if that would make him shut up.

“Heath,” pleaded Bridget, just in time.

A timely reminder that we had an audience. God knew what Maia thought about any of this – I was too scared to find out.

I leaned forward, my entire body tense with the effort it took to keep my temper under control. “Get. The. Fuck.
Out.
”

“Please, Alex,” Bridget begged. “Please let me just drive you home?”

Let her, I pleaded silently, aware I was losing it and not sure how long I was able to keep up the façade. Let her get you the hell away from me. Let her do it.
Go.

Alex swayed on his feet for several moments, leaning on the table for support. Then he pushed himself upright and seemed to take control once more.

“You know what?” he said, eyes bloodshot and wide, as if he was having trouble seeing me. “You can all just go fuck yourselves. I don’t need this bullshit.”

And with that, he turned and staggered down the hallway. I heard the crunch of broken glass as he made his way to the back door, then it slammed shut behind him and the house was engulfed in silence.

For several long moments, we all stood there, frozen, processing what had just happened. And then the shock wore off.

I turned to Bridget just as she took a shuddering breath and fell to her knees, sobbing. Maia fell with her, trying desperately to hold her up.

You bastard. You selfish, inconsiderate, stubborn bastard!

But it was too late. He was gone. He was gone and she was there, falling apart right in front of me. I knelt down beside them as Maia stared at me helplessly. I know, I wanted to say. I know, but I don’t know what to do either.

It had gone beyond Alex just lobbing insults, picking away at me. It was far more than that now. Gone was the simmering rage of just moments ago, replaced by an all-encompassing despair that felt like it was ripping me to pieces.

I couldn’t stand to see her like this, sobbing on the floor, desolate and heartbroken. It was too much like the early days, after Em disappeared. The misery was palpable, like a living, breathing creature that had been waiting in the wings all this time, ready to swoop in if we let it.

“Come on,” I said, putting my arm around Bridget. “Let’s go into the living room and sit down.”

She didn’t move and the wretched sobbing continued.

I looked past her, at Maia, who was sitting on the other side of her. “Help me?”

We helped her to her feet, and the three of us slowly made our way through to the living room.

ALEX MAY NOT HAVE
laid a hand on me this time, but driving away from Bridget’s house an hour later, it felt like he had. My entire body ached and my head was pounding. Trying to be strong for Bridget, and Maia, had left me feeling like I’d been dumped by a succession of waves – waves called anger, guilt, grief and frustration.

I still wasn’t sure we should’ve left, despite Bridget’s assurances that she was alright. Alex was more than likely home by now, albeit sleeping on his front porch, since his house key was no doubt with his car key, and therefore still at Bridget’s. And he’d wake up tomorrow, completely oblivious of the pain he’d caused tonight.