1001 Ways to Make Money If You Dare (98 page)
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607 HIRE OUT AS A RAW FOODIST.
You were eating uncooked food way before it was cool and have devoted your life to it. Share your love for this tepid diet with newly enlightened raw foodies by charging for in-home demonstrations of how to tear it up in the kitchen — without turning on the oven.
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608 SPRAY ON TAN FOR OTHERS.
Who has time nowadays to go to the beach? And with all these safety concerns about damaging UVA and UVB light — who wants to risk their skin with too much exposure to the sun? Capitalize on people's choice to opt out of the “fake-and-bake” cancer-beds by applying tanning cream and sprays for them. If they ask why their skin turned yellow instead of bronze, tell them it's the new
Simpsons
-themed spray.
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609 INVENT THE NEW MIRACLE DRUG.
You've seen those info-mercials and said to yourself, “I could bullshit people much better than these fools.” Well, you're right! Experiment in your kitchen and come up with the new miracle drug that will cure such things as insomnia and/or diarrhea (as well as cause side effects like insomnia and/or diarrhea).
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610 BABY-PROOF HOUSES.
First-time moms to-be are a paranoid bunch, and are willing to open up their wallets to welcome their bundles of joy as best as possible. (Repeat mothers, not so much.) Take advantage of their worrisome nature and cash in when they hire you to hook them up with a safe haven. But beware — your ass is on the line if their little miracle manages to pry the safety plugs out of the socket and stick two pennies in there.
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611 OVERSEE A STUDENT'S COLLEGE-APPLICATION PROCESS.
Teenagers aren't the most reliable group you'll ever encounter. Yet they're often left in charge of their college application process. With parents too busy to help out and guidance counselors saddled with several hundred students, you can help out these college-bound hopefuls by overseeing their application process. Depending on how much parents are willing to pay you, you could travel to different schools, help out with the essay writing, and keep track of the various deadlines. Think of yourself as a guidance counselor 2.0.
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