1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (79 page)

“Top 10 Deadliest Animals,” LIVEScience,
www.livescience.com
.

589

FACT :
Almost
4 million cats and dogs are euthanized
every year in U.S. animal shelters.
Hopefully more cats than dogs. Cats are buttholes.

“Introducing PETA’s ABC Campaign,” PETA,
www.peta.org
.

590

FACT :
The skunk’s anal musk is so powerful that
it can cause temporary blindness
if sprayed directly into the eyes.
Sounds a lot like my Uncle Phil. His anal musk could make your hair bleed.

“Ten of the Most Bizarre Animal Defense Mechanisms,” WebEcoist, November 4, 2008,
www.webecoist.com
.

591

FACT :
If cornered, an opossum can foam at the mouth to convince a predator that it is toxic or sick, or
discharge an anal fluid
that smells almost as bad as a skunk’s spray.
Unfortunately, neither of these works on a speeding car.

“Ten of the Most Bizarre Animal Defense Mechanisms,” WebEcoist, November 4, 2008,
www.webecoist.com
.

592

FACT : A dead whale spontaneously exploded while in transit
on a truck in 2004. Internal pressure caused by methane gas build up within the body was the cause.
I’m sure that smelled wonderful.

“A Brief History of Actual Exploding Animals,” WebEcoist, September 5th, 2008,
www.webecoist.com
.

593

FACT :
A resurgent wild turkey population caused problems in Boston in 2008,
chasing joggers and schoolchildren
, often in large mobs of birds.
Note to Boston: wild turkey is edible.

Tim Dowling, “A Beginner’s Guide to Beating off these Vicious Predators,” The Guardian, May 13, 2008,
www.guardian.co.uk
.

594

FACT :
The largest predatory fish in the world is the great white shark. They average fifteen feet in length, though great whites as long as twenty feet have been documented.
Over 100 shark attacks occur worldwide each year
and 30–50 percent of them are caused by great whites.
The great white can also swim up to 15 mph. Know what cannot? You.

“Great White Shark Profile,” National Geographic,
www.animals.nationalgeographic.com
.

595

FACT :
The largest lizard native to the United States is the venomous Gila monster, which can grow up to two feet long. Though rarely fatal, the Gila’s bite is extremely painful; unlike snakes, which inject venom, the lizard will latch onto victims and chew,
allowing neurotoxins to move through its teeth and into the open wound
.
Fatal actually sounds better in this case.

“Gila Monster Profile,” National Geographic,
www.animals.nationalgeographic.com
.

596

FACT :
The black mamba is widely considered the world’s deadliest snake. Territorial and aggressive,
the black mamba strikes repeatedly to kill its prey with powerful venom
. One of Africa’s longest venomous snakes, the mamba can grow up to fourteen feet long, and is also among the fastest snakes in the world, moving at up to twelve and a half miles per hour.
What, no wings?

“Snakes,” National Geographic,
www.animals.nationalgeographic.com
.

“Snakebit: Surviving The Black Mamba,” ABC News,
www.abcnews.go.com
.