03 The Fate Of The Muse - Marina's Tales (13 page)

“Thank Abby,” I said, “She’s been tearing up
the phone all week long!”

Lue pressed a cup of his excellent soup into
my hands with a smile, “The water spirits bless you,” he said.

“If you say so,” I replied, happily taking
his delicious offering.

I excused myself to go eat at the information
table as music started playing in the background. Soon the place
was thick with crowds of people, laughing, eating and enjoying the
beautiful weather.

Megan’s voice rang out clearly over the
massive speakers, welcoming everyone and urging them to bid
generously on the items in the auction tent. She spoke a few words
about how important it was to save local small farms, and
introduced the next band. She sounded professional, as though she’d
been speaking to crowds her whole life.

Ethan was busy running around, helping man
the grill, dealing with parking issues, and emptying out garbage
cans. Every now and then he’d swing by, stroking his hand down my
back, or kissing my neck in a sneak attack that made me giggle. I
watched him hustle his way through the crowd, and I loved him with
a sudden pang that almost hurt.

Cruz’s head was on a swivel, anxiously on the
lookout for Brad and Barbara. When he finally spotted them, his
face lit up and he rushed over to me, asking me to give Megan a two
minute warning to announce the speaker.

“How do I look?” he asked, running his
fingers through his shaggy bangs.

“Adorable,” I said, “Now go!”

Soon Barbara was on stage, telling the crowd
all about her environmental stance.

“Biodynamic,” she said, “local, sustainable,
organic,” she seemed to keep repeating the same words and phrases
over and over in her speech, tumbling them around and spitting them
out to the crowd like some kind of green confetti. The people
applauded, eating it up. If everyone here voted for her, she was as
good as elected.

When she finished, Megan took the stage, and
the future Congresswoman Watson came over to greet me.

“Thank you so much for letting me be a part
of this wonderful event,” she flashed me a practiced smile.

“Congratulations,” I said, looking at the
people crowding around her for a handshake, adding, “We’ll be
looking forward to your support when you get elected.”

She smiled again, and I had the craziest
feeling she was studying me. She turned to the crowd and announced
in a loud voice, “Let’s all go bid on these wonderful auction
items!”

After her speech, my table was flooded with
people wanting to register and sign our petition, keeping me busy
as the afternoon flew by.

I could hear Megan singing in the background,
a catchy tune about a love affair gone wrong, “It’s not you, it’s
me-e-e,” her beautiful voice rang out. People stopped in their
tracks to listen, and a crowd gathered around the stage, swaying in
time with the music.

“Hi Marina,” a girl’s voice called out to me.
I looked up to see Amber at the side of my table. Her friend
Brittany was standing behind her, looking bored, “Where’s Ethan?”
she asked with a smile.

I was really hoping she wouldn’t come, but I
half expected her, so I put on a placid mask and shrugged
noncommittally. “Would you like to register to vote?” I asked
them.

“Naw,” Amber said, “I just can’t get into all
this stuff.” She waved her hand dismissively at the papers on the
table.

“I thought you wanted to support our local
farmers,” I replied, pointing to the banner behind me. I tried not
to sound too sarcastic, but I’m sure it came out that way. Take it
easy, I said to myself. Keep calm.

She smiled suggestively, “There’s lots of
other ways to do that.”

I turned my back on her, willing her to
leave. I answered an elderly woman’s question about the special
election, and when I turned back around she was right in front of
me, leaning towards me over the table.

She looked at my neck and smiled, “I see you
have a necklace too.” She touched a pendant, nearly the same as
mine, only with a polished teardrop of Amber in place of the
aquamarine. “He’s not very original… is he?”

I looked at her, speechless. How could she
know exactly where to stick the knife for maximum pain? I was
always surprised by intentional cruelty, and it felt like someone
had just punched me in the stomach.

Just then, Shayla bounded up, smiling and
happy, “There you are… this place is rocking!” She looked at my
face and stopped, glancing over to see Amber and her friend.

“Hey Shayla,” Brittany said mockingly, “How’s
the weather up there?”

Shayla’s eyes narrowed at Brittany, and she
stepped over to stand by my side, “
Amber
. I heard you were
back… What? Did you flunk out of your fancy school? Not quite as
smart as you thought you were, huh?”

Amber cast her a dirty look and turned to her
friend, announcing in a loud voice, “Let’s go find Ethan. I’m sure
he’ll
be happy to see me.” They wandered off into the
crowd.

“Are you okay?” Shayla looked at me with
alarm, “Do you need to sit down?”

I shook my head no, still speechless. I could
hear Megan’s sweet voice ringing out in the background, “You said
you loved me, but it was a lie-ie-ie,”

“Could you watch the table for a minute?” I
asked in a thick voice.

I wanted to be alone before the wave of
emotion hit, but just as I rounded the corner of the auction tent
Abby ran up to me, ecstatic, “I have great news! Barbara Watson
just bid
five thousand dollars
for your painting! Everything
else is fetching top dollar too– we’re on track to raise a lot of
money for Lue’s defense fund… And we might not even need it if she
gets elected!” She started thinking aloud, “I suppose we could find
a good charity to donate the extra money to…”

“Abby, I have to get going. Can you get a
ride home with Dutch or Cruz?” I said in a monotone, afraid to
think or feel anything. All I could think was, if I didn’t leave
right away, I was going to kill someone. After my run-in with
Peter, I knew I was capable of murder, and given the right set of
circumstances, I didn’t even need to consciously wish for it to
have someone end up dead.

My hands were shaking, and I was scared, more
afraid than I’d ever been before. I was scared of what my anger
might do to Ethan.

“Sure… Are you okay?” she asked. I looked
over her shoulder. I was tempted to jump off the cliff into the
sea.

“Yes,” I forced a smile, “I’m afraid I really
need to get going a little early…”

She smiled and gave me a warm hug, “OK! I
know you’ll have fun in Paris with Evie and Shayla… But we’re sure
going to miss you!”

I felt even worse, for I’d already lied to
her earlier, telling her that I was going to the city tonight,
planning on being alone with Ethan at my studio.

“I’ll miss you too Aunt Abby, take care of
yourself. And don’t work too hard... okay?”

“I’m fine. I’ve never been better,” she
patted her belly reassuringly, smiling with glee as she looked
around, “We really pulled it off! Your father would be so
proud.”

I reminded her to look after the stray cat
colony, and she assured me she wouldn’t forget them. Abby was an
animal lover, and when I told her about the litter of kittens on
the way, her heart melted, and she vowed to do something about
their plight. Judging by what she’d accomplished today, I knew they
were in good hands.

Pushing back all thoughts of Ethan and Amber,
I returned to Shayla, “Do you want to leave early?” I asked
desperately, “Go up to San Francisco tonight?”

“Totally!” Shayla cried enthusiastically,
“I’m good to go!”

The crowds were starting to thin out as we
hurried out to the busy parking lot. Long and Ethan were directing
the exiting traffic, trying to keep things flowing smoothly.

Ethan saw us and trotted up, “Where are you
going?” he asked, looking confused.

“To Paris!” Shayla exclaimed excitedly.

“Marina?” Ethan searched my face.

Long interrupted us, walking up to ask if I’d
have a word with him in private. I was surprised, but any
distraction was welcome at the moment. I agreed, stepping aside to
hear what he had to say.

He cleared his throat, “I want to thank you
for helping out my Grand-pop. I know… I mean, I never believed in
all that old-school stuff… but I know, like, you can…
do
stuff…
and I wanted to let you know that we’re all real
glad, you know… that you did it.”

I sighed, “Abby did most of the planning… and
you guys are doing all the work.”

I was surprised when he looked me squarely in
the eyes, “Whatever,” he said, “Just… thanks, is all.”

We walked back to Ethan and Shayla waiting by
the Rover.

Ethan looked upset, “What’s going on? I
thought we had plans.”

“I have to go,” I said, afraid to meet his
eyes.

“Why?” he raised his voice.

“I just do.”

“I thought we were going to stay together
tonight…” he said, his voice lowered, pleading.

I looked at him and wanted to cry. Long and
Shayla were standing right there, and I was not going to get into
it in front of them. I fought to keep control of my emotions before
someone got seriously hurt. Someone like him. I dug my fingernails
into my hands, focusing on the sharp pain.

“I’ll call you later.” I turned to Shayla,
“Let’s go now.” I tasted blood in my mouth and realized I was
biting the inside of my cheek. We jumped in the Rover and sped
off.

After a few minutes she tentatively asked,
“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” was all I said.

I spent that night in San Francisco, lying in
my childhood bed, sleepless, listening to the foghorns blow and
turning everything over and over in my mind. I chickened out and
shut off my phone, unable to even begin to think of what to say to
Ethan. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Amber’s smug face. In one
split second she ruined the night I’d planned. Even worse, she’d
tainted the necklace that had meant so much to me; it was the thing
led him to me when I was lost, and I hadn’t taken it off since the
night he’d returned it to my neck.

Now it sat on my bedside table, mocking me
every time I looked at it.

How stupid could I be? It wasn’t his fault
that he’d loved her before I came along. I felt insecure, wondering
if I was simply an interchangeable girl he was going through the
motions with. He probably would have married her, if she hadn’t
broken up with him. If I disappeared into the sea, he’d probably
pick right back up where he left off with her.

The thought made me sick to my stomach, and I
smothered my sobs in my pillow, overflowing with misery. It was as
if all the anger I wouldn’t allow myself to feel was turned inward
in the form of self-inflicted pain. I ached to forget everything,
and for a minute I even jumped out of bed, wildly considering
running out to the docks, plunging into the sea and trying to find
Nerissa and Nixie.

Evie had told me that I could inspire great
or terrible things, and now I finally, truly believed her. My anger
had caused the Congressman’s car to plummet from a cliff– that much
I knew. The pain, envy and rage I felt when I thought about Amber
and Ethan was vastly more powerful, and therefore, far more
dangerous.

I had to get a handle on myself, and find a
way to cope with it before someone else ended up dead. I didn’t
belong in Aptos; I should probably check myself into an Ashram
somewhere until I could get control of my dangerous impulses. I
needed to be in some remote place where the spiritual minded sat in
contemplation, removed from society until they gained full command
over their base animal instincts.

Or I could go into the ocean and forget
everything.

I tossed and turned sleeplessly all night,
alternately numb with confusion or burying my face in my pillow,
overcome with sadness. Refusing to allow myself to feel the anger
drained all the fight out of me, and I had turned tail and run away
from Ethan once again. What was I thinking, leaving her alone with
him? He was probably as good as hers. I finally sat up in bed,
watching the sky outside my window brighten, illuminating another
beautiful San Francisco morning.

It would probably be best for Ethan if I
left, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to have it all, and it was
exactly that sort of thinking that ended up in disaster for my
mother. The look on Ethan’s face as I ran away haunted me. I never
wanted to do anything to hurt him, but I couldn’t seem to stop
myself.

I felt like I was morphing into some kind of
freakish comic book character. As much as I wanted to suppress it,
the effect I had on the people around me was undeniable. I had been
born with superhuman powers I didn’t want, and now I had to learn
how to rein them in before anyone else got hurt.

Tragically for me, it was my love for Ethan
that was making me weak and irrational. It was ironic that
something that had started out so sweetly was turning out to be my
own personal Kryptonite. He made me feel more emotion than I’d ever
known before, but it was precisely those feelings that were
threatening to consume me, and hurt him.

And I had no idea what to do about it.

CHAPTER NINE

LEAVING

When the morning light finally made trying to
sleep pointless, I got up and puttered around in the kitchen, glad
to see that Cruz had stocked it with fresh coffee. I heard the
distant roar of the shower and looked up to see Cruz stumble in,
bleary eyed and bathrobed.

He saw me, and his eyes flew open, “What are
you doing here?” he gasped.

“Good morning to you, too.” I said.

“It’s just… it’s just…” He sputtered, “I
wasn’t expecting you until later this morning.”

“Shayla and I came up right after the rally.
How late did you stay there?”