03. Masters of Flux and Anchor (6 page)

The sessions, too, challenged her, turning her inward. The Church was a sham; it could not be reformed, as she had thought, for it was innately corrupt and bankrupt. She had long ago lost her faith but there had been no alternatives; now she had one. and it seemed to fill a tremendous inner need to embrace it and believe it. She had been appalled by the corruption and stagnancy of the old Church, yet in re¬forming it she had killed tens of thousands and reached an empty end. She had sacrificed her life, her friends, even her daughter to a hollow idol, a Church that served nothing but the narrow political ends of nine powerful, amoral wizards.

Carefully they took her back to the original, innocent Cassie of Anchor Logh, dreaming of romance but trying to be content with a mediocre career that would replace it.

She fought it, fought it all the way, but her own internal counters to their arguments and philosophy were hollow, too, dead ends of unhappiness, loneliness, despair. She was in turmoil, unable to really think straight or counter any of it. In the end, it came down to alternatives. Accept this, totally and completely, or—what? More unending misery, loneliness, and despair? The carefully measured pressure built up inside her, based upon the groundwork laid, unknown to her, by Ivan and Haldayne in Flux.

Ultimately, one evening, something finally slipped in her mind. All arguments fled, all questions faded, and she prostrated herself and prayed to the God of New Eden to grant her happiness and peace.

Then they introduced her to Adam Tilghman. the same craggy-faced former sergeant she'd talked to when first awakening in New Eden. Somehow she'd seen something she'd liked in him even then, and the more she saw of him the more she liked him.

Human contact with anyone other than Tilghman was kept to an absolute minimum and was always done in silence by both sides. Tilghman alone became her sole source of conversation, punishment, and praise. He tended to be apologetic for the shock technique, yet he defended it as the only way to break through decades of conditioning without physical harm. "We are still feeling our way, and searching for the true grace of God," he told her.

The more time she spent with him, the more she looked forward to the next. In many ways, on both a conscious and subconscious level, he reminded her of her father— kind, wise, tough, strong, self-confident—a man sure of himself and secure within his own mind. In other ways, he was much like Matson—world-wise and somewhat weary, sure of power and radiating authority and confidence. He was the Chief Judge, the most powerful man in New Eden, and he was interested in her, interested enough to transfer much of his office and schedule to this outlying area.

After a while, he began to take her out of the place where she'd been secluded for how long she couldn't pinpoint. He was set up in a small house just outside the nearby village, and she relished the relative freedom of movement and the looks of the men and other women when it was obvious that she was with the Chief Judge. She had begun to fantasize just what it would be like to be the wife of the Chief Judge. She was aware that this part, too, was still a trial period for her, and that everyone was watching her. but she was beginning to realize that she didn't feel particularly demeaned or uncomfortable now. She began to feel that God had given her one last chance at redemption and personal happiness. No matter what doubts she might have had about the overall scheme of things, it was no longer right to think about society or broad roles and major causes. She'd done it herself, lived for others, her whole life up to now. From now on, she decided, someone else must save the world. She was going to do whatever she felt like doing, whatever gave her what she personally needed.

She had fallen in love with Adam Tilghman, and when you didn't resist the system, didn't think about it but just lived it, it was so easy and so peaceful. If the system wasn't perfect, well, neither was it a horror chamber, at least not for her.

Tilghman himself almost apologetically admitted that New Eden was not yet the society the faith demanded, and that many of the original men who'd taken over the An¬chor were slow to accept change. He was confident, though, that change was inevitable, that even now a new society was emerging that reflected the ideals of the faith. Eventu¬ally there would be a society without want, without fear, in which people could live out God's tenets of living. He did not deny that there was a lot of oppression of women, but said that she would see the changes being made. He, supported by the younger generations raised in the faith, would see to that.

The faith took hold in her, not so much as a result of the conditioning sessions as because it gave her something to believe in that answered most of her questions and pro¬vided an easy way out of her guilt. It rang true when compared to many of the Church-suppressed documents in the Codex; it was far older than the Church, and it ab¬solved her of guilt. She had been the product of an "unnatural" society; she could not be blamed for its results. With that acceptance she began to rationalize virtually everything she had detested about New Eden's society. The fact that Tilghman and the new faith both recognized their own failings and imperfections and pledged changes held great promise. Although she saw the hand of God in the death of Coydt now, she realized that his evil had corrupted many, but by no means all, of his lieutenants and that excising such evil would take time and care.

Tilghman was a big part of this realization. She had faith in him, believed in him and knew his sincerity of vision. His strength, intellect, and determination gave her a whole new reason to live and to hope; a product of oppression who wanted to build a more perfect world for all, not just be another petty Fluxlord.

It was not a sudden thing, no matter what the condition¬ing process, but rather gradual. One day she woke up and simply realized that Tilghman was right, that he offered the only positive vision in a stagnant and evil world. It was in every way a deep, emotional, religious experience which she was convinced came from Heaven itself. She bowed down and prayed that she be allowed to participate in this vision, and vowed she would try to attain perfection as a woman in God's eyes. She knew war, and hated it. Hence¬forth she would be passive. She had known sex, once, but never love. She would seek love. She had always been ashamed of her looks; now she would try to emphasize what God had given her and be proud to be feminine. She had given birth but denied herself motherhood; now she would seek that. She had competed all her life; now she would seek consensus.

When she told him of all this, he seemed greatly pleased, but he grew serious. "Cassie—I know you're telling the truth, and I know you think you love me. It you didn't know, I think I'm in love with you, too."

That remark sent feelings through her she never knew before.

He sighed. "Cassie, if we marry there will always be those who doubt and remember the old days. They wouldn't trust you, and that would weaken me. If you truly love me and wish to be my wife, would you be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice?"

She was taken aback. "I—I don't know what you mean, Adam."

"I mean to marry in Flux, and make the oath binding. To trust me so thoroughly that you will place yourself completely in my hands and accept whatever spells are offered you."

She hesitated a moment. Flux. . . .

"Yes. Adam, I'll do it. I want this so very much. Let me wipe the slate clean and be born anew, as your wife. your lover, and the mother of your children to come."

"Then we will do it tomorrow, at midday. And all who witness it will know and be content." He knew he was taking a calculated risk in allowing her into Flux, but it was the final step. She wouldn't know it. but there would be an amplifier out there anyway, sealing them off from the rest of Flux and preventing escape. Ivan and his own people had done a great job. but this was the ultimate, and final, test.

"There is nothing for me out there anymore, if there ever was." she told him. "I will take any binding spell you wish to prove it."

He smiled, and drew her to him and kissed her, for the first time. She did not flinch or hesitate, and it became prolonged and more passionate and she felt herself getting terribly aroused. And it felt good.

The next day they were picked up by a fancy carriage and taken to the Gate, which proved to be less than a half-hour's ride away. There were witnesses there, who'd been conducting one sort of business or another with New Eden, and all were invited to the apparently impromptu ceremony. Some were wizards from nearby Fluxlands, and not all were in the employ or under the complete control of New Eden. That was the way they'd wanted it. If the gamble worked and the timing was just right, word would soon be spread all over World, with confirmation by unim¬peachable sources. Not by coincidence, the crowd in¬cluded one Zelligman Ivan himself, who had been around for weeks killing time just to see the end result of his handiwork for himself. And, of course, insure his invest¬ment and collect his rewards.

The book on Cass said that she was subject to emotional rushes and that during that period she was pretty much willing to do almost anything. Mervyn had chosen such a point to get her to lead the Reformed Church movement and to take spells against ever being so receptive again. Coydt had removed those restraints; now, they gambled that she was at a similar point.

She was smiling as they faced the void, and they held hands and stepped into it. With them went the witnesses and a powerful Fluxlord named Constantine who would perform the spell. She seemed at that moment to have eyes only for Tilghman, but she did look around briefly at the void and at the witnesses, and there seemed a little flicker, a bit of hesitancy, in her eyes.

"Cassie," Tilghman said seriously, "I will take you as my wife, and swear that I will treat you according to God's will, that I will love, protect, provide, and cherish you always, 'til death. But it must be done freely, and you must place your faith and trust in God and in me. Will you?"

"I will. Adam." she responded, looking up at him. "I swear that I will love, honor, and obey you so long as we both shall live."

"If you love and trust me, then take the spell that is offered and bind yourself with it."

Constantine fed the spell, but clearly it was more com¬plex than even he could actually divine. It was a spell such as Coydt had spun, in the impossible mathematics no human mind could follow.

She looked again at the crowd, and then at Adam Tilghman. and then out into the featureless void, and many held their breaths wondering just what she would do.

She accepted the spell, even though she had no idea what it contained, and bound herself with it.

Immediately she seemed to glow and shimmer, and there were dramatic if subtle changes in her. She was shorter, barely a hundred and forty-seven centimeters and perhaps forty-one kilograms. Her figure, which had always been slight, even boyish, filled out. with perfectly propor¬tioned, firm breasts; a body tapering dramatically down to an extremely narrow waist, then out to large but ideally proportioned hips. Her skin remained bronze but became creamy smooth, without blemish of any sort, and her reddish-brown hair became waist-length and seemed inter¬woven with strands of gold. She was still recognizable to those who'd known her. but her boyish face had been subtly altered as well to erase all traces of the maleness in it; the lips had been thickened and sensuously shaped, the eyes very soft and seemingly huge, with long lashes and thin, feminine eyebrows. There was no body hair, save pubic hair, beyond the face.

All the women of New Eden bore an identifying tattoo on their left rump, and this, too, was there, although with the  usual  addition.   "CASSIE T1LGHMAN,"   it  read, and underneath in much smaller print, "AL6-466-080N."

They kissed, and walked back into Anchor, where she was given a small case with clothing and jewelry in it, and a makeup and mirror kit. She gasped when she first saw herself in the mirror, and seemed pleased.

She wasn't quite sure how she felt inside. Certainly no different than she'd felt when accepting Adam's proposal, yet she remembered who she had been and, she thought, all that had happened. And yet, as she put on the silver fine-mesh garment, the decorative belt that secured it and hung on her hips, and the glittering silver high-heeled shoes, as well as the sparkling earrings, necklace, and bracelets she found and admired, she realized she couldn't read the small words engraved on the bracelet—and, curiously, it didn't seem to matter.

She basked in the looks she was getting from all the men, and felt very happy and at peace. The essential content of the spell, however, was not apparent to her, and would not be for some time; but it was set forth in a basic text of New Eden she would never read.

"In New Eden." it said, "the mind rules the body of the male: the body rules the mind of the female."

But most men did not have spells to enforce that holy rule. Fluxgirls did, and now, by her own choice, Cassie was a Fluxgirl, bound by a spell as tight as any and one she could never break.

The Brotherhood had been formed by Coydt van Haas as part of a project for the Seven, to undermine the credibil¬ity of the Reformed Church and show its vulnerability. For that task he'd recruited determined men from all over the planet, most of whom were tough and ruthless when they had to be but were, nevertheless, also highly intelligent and experienced. They also had one other thing in com¬mon with Coydt: they had all at one time or another been victimized, exploited, enslaved, or, as in Coydt's own case, mutilated by women in matriarchal societies.

In the end, Coydt had died not from sorcery but from the shotgun of the stringer Matson, out for revenge. But Matson, understanding that these desperate men would fight to the death and take a civilian population with it, also made a deal with them to relinquish Anchor Logh to New Eden without massive bloodshed. The deal that they accepted, though, was one to contain them, predicated both on a strong Empire to enforce it and on the impres¬sion of the invaders as a gang of murderous thugs. Both proved unfounded.