02 Buck Naked (11 page)

“That you’re a drunk who rapes women and has spent a lot of time in jail because of it.” The words just burst from her mouth. She forced herself to take another deep breath. “Well, is it true?”

He swallowed. “Amy, this isn’t the place to have this discussion.”

“Tell me.” She tightened her hands into fists. “What’s the difference between you and Cade Hannigan?”

“I’m nothing like him.” Pain slashed across his face, his eyes darkened and a muscle twitched in his cheek. “Let me take you home and we’ll talk there.”

Her blood turned to ice, freezing her where she stood. When he reached for her, she backed away, sickness roiling in her stomach. “It’s true.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “It’s all true. I didn’t want to believe him but he was right.”

“Who was right? Amy, wait,” he called as she fled into the ballroom.

She couldn’t get away from him fast enough. Heedless of the people she bumped into, she grabbed Matt and Reenie on the dance floor.

“I have to go home. Right now.”

They had stopped dancing and Matt was studying her. “What’s wrong, Amze? You look like you’re on the verge of a heart attack.”

“Maybe I am. But please, please, please, before I embarrass myself, can we get out of here? If you can just take me home, you can come back and spend the rest of the evening with Reenie.”

Concern washed over Matt’s face. “Honey, if you don’t feel well, Buck will be happy to take you home. He brought you, after all.”

“No.” She almost shouted the word. Had to throttle down and force some semblance of calm into her voice. “Not Buck. I don’t want to see him right now. Maybe not ever. You do it. Please.”

Now anger replaced the concern. “What’s he done? If he’s hurt you in some way—”

“I think we need to finish this someplace private,” Reenie said.

Amy looked around and realized she was creating a small scene on the dance floor. She lowered her voice. “Sorry. Can you just do this for me, please? Right now?”

“We’ll all go,” Reenie said calmly, urging both of them away from the other dancers. “Come on, honey. I’ll get our purses. Matt, you better figure out how to head off Buck if she doesn’t want to see him. Here he comes, and he doesn’t look happy.”

“I’ll take care of him,” Matt told her. “I don’t know what this is about, so when we get out of here you need to explain things to me.”

“Okay. Whatever. Just let’s go.”

Somehow, between Reenie and Matt, they maneuvered her out of the room and managed to stave off Buck, who was not a happy camper. She couldn’t bring herself to speak on the ride home, just kept her eyes closed and her lips pressed firmly together. It was as much to keep from saying anything as it was to keep the nausea swelling up at bay.

The moment they were at the ranch, she fled for her bedroom. “I’ll be right back,” she called as she hurried down the hall. “Then I’ll tell you everything.”

She barely made it to her bathroom before dropping to her knees and emptying the contents of her stomach. She had to take deep breaths to calm herself enough to rise to her feet. She could hardly believe what she’d heard. She knew Buck was keeping something back, but never had she imagined anything like this. She’d spent time with him. Made love with him. Taken him into her body and her heart. Maybe Matt was right about her judgment.

Finally, she stripped off her fancy gown, kicked off her shoes and pulled on an old pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. Maybe it would help the chill gripping her body.

Light taps sounded on her door and she heard Reenie call, “Amy? You okay, sweetheart?”

“Yes. I’m coming right now.” She pulled the door open and looked into Reenie’s concerned face. “Let’s go sit down and talk. I only want to get this out once.”

“I made you some hot tea. Go sit down with Matt and I’ll bring it to you.”

But even the hot liquid couldn’t ease the chill that settled in her bones. Not looking at either her brother or sister-in-law, she gave them the basic details, what little she knew. Then waited for their reaction.

“And who told you this?” Matt wanted to know. “Let me guess. None other than Cade Hannigan.”

“So what? Buck didn’t deny any of it when I asked him.”

“You asked him at the dance? Tonight?”

She nodded. “As soon as I found out.” She stared into her teacup, miserable and sick at heart. “He didn’t deny any of it, Matt. I hate to admit it, but I guess you’re right after all where my judgment and men are concerned.”

“Amy.” He sat next to her on the couch, took the cup from her and held her hand. “Look at me. There’s a world of difference between Buck Montgomery and Cade Hannigan.”

“So you didn’t know all this about him?” She looked up in time to catch her brother exchanging a glance with Reenie. “Wait, wait, wait. You
did
know? And you didn’t tell me? My God, Matt. You even pushed me to go out with him.”

“Because I like him and he’s a good man.”

“But you got upset when I spent the night with him.”

“I admit I was a little nervous when you went from one to sixty in the relationship without taking a breath. But I had a different reason for cautioning you to take it easy. I just didn’t know, after what happened to him, if Buck could handle a relationship. If he’d let his past get in the way. What if
he
walked away from
you
after you’d already gotten deeply involved with him? And gave you no explanation?”

“Then you should have told me yourself. Or insisted that he tell me in the beginning. I’m not a child and I’m not stupid. I’m a big girl. Really.”

“Yeah, you are.” He looked at his wife. “Reenie, put some coffee on, would you?” He took his sister’s hand. “And Amy? I want you to listen to everything I’m going to tell you before you say another word. Buck Montgomery has made himself into a fine man. I admit I wanted you to take things slow with him, but I’d never have encouraged this if I thought he was bad for you. If he’s really what you want, then listen carefully to what I have to say.”

Another hour had passed before Matt finished telling her the entire story, beginning with Buck’s upbringing and his determination to compete on the rodeo circuit. He didn’t spare Buck at all, but he was very specific about what had been done to him, especially the fake rape charge.

“He made a very deliberate choice to clean up his life,” he said. “To become respectable. A solid citizen. And make a new life for himself. I never would have invited him to the house if I believed otherwise.”

“Matt knows he should have clued you in, but he’d made Buck a promise. He kept urging the man to tell you himself.” Reenie took her hand. “Buck was just so afraid you’d break it off with him after you heard the story.”

“So Buck didn’t trust me to believe him and Matt was stuck in some stupid brotherhood code of honor.” Amy jumped up and began to pace. “He foolishly thought he could bury this and it would never come back to haunt him, right?” She stopped and glared at Matt. “But the past never goes away.”

“Okay.” Matt rubbed his jaw. “I agree that if Buck wasn’t going to tell you himself, I definitely should have.”

“Then you had no right to criticize me for getting involved with the man.” Amy wanted to stamp her foot. “You were wrong, big brother. Dead wrong.”

“I should have figured Hannigan would get hold of this.” Matt’s voice was laced with disgust. “I’ll deal with him myself.”

“Matt, no,” Amy protested. “You’ll just make things worse.”

“If I don’t teach him a lesson or two, there’s no telling how much more damage he’ll decide to do. Buck doesn’t deserve it and neither do you. But the bigger issue is what do you want to do now?”

Yes, that was indeed the question. She couldn’t deny what she felt for him. But did she have the courage to go to him? Admit she’d acted hastily? See if they really had a future together?

She stood up, raked her fingers through her hair and tucked it behind her ears.

“I’m going to drive over to his ranch,” she announced. “If he’s not there, I’ll look until I find him. I’ll make him listen to my apology and see where it goes from there.”

“Want me to come with you?” Matt asked.

Reenie gave a small laugh. “I think if she and Buck work things out, you’ll be an unnecessary addition to the group.”

“That’s okay then. I think I’ll round up Cade Hannigan and have a little chat with him.”

“Don’t get arrested for brawling,” Amy teased.

“It won’t be a brawl. It comes under the heading of taking care of the trash.” Matt hugged her and kissed her cheek. “Good luck. Take your cell. I’m only a phone call away.”

As soon as he watched the Starks drive away from the hotel, Buck had gotten into his own truck and headed for home. Rage and pain mingled inside him and twisted his gut.

I should have known I couldn’t outrun the past. I should have tried to figure out a way to tell her in the beginning.

But, cowardly, he’d secretly hoped Matt would do it and ease her over the hump.

Well, it was all shot to shit now. Maybe he should just sell the ranch, pull up stakes and look for another place to hide. And stay the hell away from women. But he didn’t want another place, and he sure as hell wanted this woman.

Fat chance now.

He made one stop on the way home. When he got inside his house, he pulled off his jacket and tie, plunked down his purchase on the kitchen table and sat down to tug off his boots.. Then he sat staring at the bottle of bourbon he’d just spent money on and tried to decide if he really wanted to go there again.

Don’t do it. Don’t fall into that familiar trap. You’ve got a new life started.

He snorted. Some new life. He still couldn’t get away from the old one.

He was still staring at it, wondering what the hell to do, when he heard his doorbell ring. Then someone pounded on the front door. He didn’t move, deliberately ignoring whoever it was. Waiting for them to go away. But the banging and ringing didn’t stop, and in a minute he heard Amy’s voice shouting through the door.

“Buck? I know you’re in there. Open the damn door before I get someone to break it down.” There was more loud pounding.

Great. Just great.

Finally realizing she wasn’t giving up, he padded to the front hall and yanked the door open.

“Go away. We have nothing to say to each other.”

He tried to close the door, but she managed to squeeze by his solid body into the house. “Not true. We have plenty to say.”

“I can’t imagine what,” he told her as he followed her into the kitchen. “It’s all been said already, hasn’t it? At least that’s the impression you gave me.”

He nearly mowed her down when she stopped short at the sight of the bourbon on the table.

“Oh, Buck.” She shook her head “Please don’t do this to yourself.”

“Seems like I’ve already done it.” He couldn’t keep the bitter edge from his voice.

She turned and stared up at him. “No, I think
I’m
the one who did it.” She twisted her hands together, but he could still see they trembled.

“What’s going on here, Amy? Why are you here? You couldn’t get away from me fast enough at the hotel.”

She blew out a breath. “You were wrong not to tell me your story, and I was wrong not to ask you for the real truth. I knew there had to be some reason you kept sending me mixed signals. Why didn’t you just let me know what had happened to you?”

“It’s not an easy story to tell, Amy. And I was afraid how you’d take it. I figured after we got to know each other a lot better, it would be easier for you to hear.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “Anyway, I wasn’t sure you’d believe me. Matt did, but I also know he checked everything out. Which I expected him to do. Then I guess I hoped he’d be the one to give you the news.”

“Coward.”

He looked up and saw pain in her eyes.

“Did you think so little of me that you expected me to run away? Not to believe you?”

“It’s not a pretty story,” he pointed out. “Why would I think you’d believe me? More to the point, you didn’t. Did you.”

“No, it isn’t,” she agreed. “But I can see now that you put it all behind you and worked to make something of your life. That’s the really important part. And I’m sorry I ran away like a frightened, angry child instead of the adult I like to think I am. Maybe Matt was right that I need help in making choices.”

Buck studied her face, her eyes, seeing nothing there but honesty and truth and…something else that made his heart catch.

“Did he give you grief about seeing me? I thought he wanted us to get together.”

“Yes, and he did. But I think he wanted to be sure I knew my own mind.” She dropped her gaze. “I haven’t made the best choices lately in my relationships.”

“And you thought that applied to me too, when you heard my story.”

“Only at first. I had a stupid, knee-jerk reaction. But you’re right. I should have given you a chance to explain.” She brushed impatiently at a tear tracking down her cheek. “Can you forgive me? Please?”

“If you can forgive me for not telling you everything in the first place.”

They stared at each other in silence for a long moment.