Zombie Mage (18 page)

“Kevin, that’s gross.”

“Come on. I’ve always wanted to do it in a coffin.”

Olligh sighed.  He wondered how he was going to get
out of this dire situation.

“No way.  It’ll be uncomfortable and besides, there
might be a stiff in there.”

“There’s only one stiff in here and it can’t wait to
see you.”

They both laughed.

“Hey, I’m dying here!” Marvin suddenly shouted.  “Will
you hurry up and get your flaming top off.  I want to see those gorgeous globes
you’re both talking about.”

“Blooming heck!” Kevin yelled.

The woman screamed.

“Helen, come back here.”

Olligh heard more screaming outside and raised the lid
a little on the coffin to check to see if it was safe to leave.

“It’s okay,” Marvin said. “They’ve both gone. You can
come out now.”

Olligh pushed the lid open and climbed out. “Well,
that was rather interesting.  I believe I owe you my thanks for distracting
them.”

“I didn’t distract them.  They were just taking too
long. I’ve never been known for my patience.”

Olligh smirked. “Yes, well.  I can’t stay here now. 
I’m going to have to come back another time to get you.  It won’t be long
before that couple return with more people and I don’t need this extra
hardship.”

“That’s a pity.  I’m sure the hag would’ve liked your
company.  You’re both well suited for each other.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Outside, Olligh could hear raised voices.

“Ah, you better make a move.  It looks like they’ll be
back sooner than you think.  Don’t worry about me.  I’ll just play dumb.”

“Very well, but this isn’t over. I’ll be back.”

Olligh began to summon the mystical energies of the
cosmos, his next location mapped out in his mind’s eye. 

“Now listen here,” Marvin said. “Don’t you come
rushing back, eh?  I’ve got plenty of stuff to be getting on with.”

Olligh smiled one last time before allowing the
bright, swirling colours to consume him.  Then, he was gone.

Denlik entered a long, wood-panelled chamber, followed by an anxious
looking Warden Philips.  A line of coffins stretched along the back wall, mostly
with their lids closed but a few remained empty with lids by their side.  The
room felt bitterly cold and Denlik stuffed his hands into the side pockets of
his robe.

"By Chektri, this chamber needs warming up,"
Denlik grumbled. "How are we expected to conduct our duties to a
satisfactory standard working in this temperature?"

"I agree, High Warden, but the room needs to be
slightly cooler than normal.  We still haven't managed to solve the problem of
sleeping corpses getting up for walkabout in the early hours."

Denlik raised an eyebrow. "They still do
that?"

"Indeed.  Only last week, Walter Fletcher decided
to stray from coffin number five.  After searching most of the night for him,
he was finally discovered in coffin number three with Mistress Fay."

"The sly devil!  Sleep walking indeed.  The
crafty old fox knew exactly where he was headed."

Warden Philips grinned. "Indeed, she's a grand
looking maiden and, if I may say so, she appears to have blossomed more since
Chektri's gaze fell upon her."

Denlik nodded and stepped closer to the coffins.
"So, how does the temperature manage to prevent them from sleep
walking?"

"I'm unsure but the chill air certainly appears
to keep them subdued.  Perhaps they prefer to stay in their nice warm coffins
rather than brave the chill air.  Of course, it also has the added benefit of
helping us to maintain our wood supplies in this difficult season."

"Very well, Warden.  Keep me informed if this
continues to be problematic.  We can always add metal clasps to the coffins of
any repeat offenders if the situation worsens."

"Of course, you'll certainly be the first to
know.  Are you ready to start the inspection now?"

Denlik nodded.  "Yes, let us proceed.  Am I
correct to presume that these occupants have only received one potion
each?"

"Indeed.  They're due a second potion today, thus
why I've had the stitching removed from their mouths earlier this
morning."

Standing by the first coffin, Denlik reached over and
lifted the lid open.  Inside, a man's corpse was stretched out.  His saggy skin
was swollen and blistered but, more disturbingly, the skin along his forehead
was peeled back revealing his chalk-white skull.

Denlik turned away and gagged. "By Chektri, the
stench is almost unbearable. See to it that more bunches of lavender are placed
in here."

"Of course, I'll see to it, High Warden. What of
the corpse?  Do you think his time is up? Has the true death finally claimed
him?"

"I'm no miracle worker, Warden.  How do you
expect me to confirm his condition without a thorough examination?"

"Well, he's definitely dead."

"Yes, well, it doesn't take a genius to work that
out, does it?"

Warden Philips' left eye twitched nervously. "Of
course not, Revered One. I was merely trying to add a bit of humour to the
occasion."

Denlik folded his arms.  "Yes, well, please don't
bother in future.  Our work here is serious.  If I wanted a court jester I
would've hired one!  Sometimes I wonder if-"

A loud moan erupted from a coffin further to their
right, interrupting Denlik's rant.  He gazed in silence at the far end of the
room while Warden Philips shuffled closer, trying to determine the whereabouts
of the offending coffin.  Somebody wailed and thrashed around inside their
coffin, sending shivers down Denlik's spine.

"Who is it?" Denlik asked.

"Wait a moment, I think I have it here..."

 Warden Philips reached the side of coffin and noted
its number from a plaque. "It’s coffin number eight.  This currently
belongs to Lara Selthnik, the wife of-"

"Mage Selthnik." Denlik interrupted.
"Just when I thought the day could get no worse."

Warden Philips tapped the coffin gently with the end
of his staff.  "Lara, please calm down.  Everything is fine."

The wailing and thrashing quietened down a little.

"Lara," he continued. "You aren't in
any harm.  Please calm yourself and I'll happily let you out."

"Olligh?" she answered, her voice loud and
grainy; it was more of a desperate plea than a question. "Olligh! Is that
you?"

Denlik nudged Warden Philips and gave him a quick nod.
"Erm... yes, it's me, Olligh."

"Oh, Olligh! You sound ever so different."

Warden Philips coughed gently. "Different?"

"Yes, you sound... more womanly. You poor
thing."

"Womanly?! Well, I never."

"But, I'm still here for you and at least you
managed to get those stitches out at last, eh?  That's a good thing.  I've
missed talking to you ever so much."

Warden Philips glanced at Denlik, looking for a
reaction but his face was expressionless.  "Ah... yes.  I finally got them
out."

"Her memory seems to be returning rather
quickly," Denlik whispered. "Are you positive the ingredients were
measured correctly in the last batch before mixing?"

"Who's there with you?" Lara asked.

Just as Warden Philips prepared to answer, she
continued speaking, "Are you going to get me out of here or not?  They're
nasty people, you know.  They've poisoned me as well."

"Lara, I'm sure they wouldn't do anything of the
sort to you. You must be exaggerating."

  Lara sobbed. "No, I'm not. They did poison me!
I didn't want to drink it.  They forced it down my neck.  Oh, Olligh, hurry up
and get me out of here."

Denlik edged closer to the coffin and leaned forward.
"Lara Selthnik," he announced brashly. "I am High Warden Denlik,
leader of the Dark Cloaks."

"Who? What? Where's Olligh?"

"Please don't worry, Olligh is well.  He's
helping us, just as we are here to help you."

"You must be joking. How is locking me inside a
box supposed to help me?"

"You aren't locked inside a box, my dear.  You're
in a coffin and you're free to leave whenever you wish."

Lara thudded the inside of the coffin. "No, I'm
locked inside.  How dare you blatantly lie to me.  Olligh, are you still
there?  Please answer me."

Denlik frowned and lifted the coffin lid open. 
"There, you see.  It's not locked.  It's just a heavy lid."

Lara pulled herself into a sitting position, and
squinted at her captors.  "Who are you?" She pointed shakily at
Warden Philips.  "Where's my Olligh?"

"He had to leave," Warden Philips replied,
scratching a lump on his nose, "but he won't be long."

"More lies!" Lara scowled. "I'm not
stupid you know. Over the years I've been called many things but stupid isn't
one of them."

"Of course not.  I'm sure you've been a highly
respected member of society throughout your life."

 Lara watched him suspiciously. "You're the one
with the funny voice pretending to be Olligh, aren't you?"

Warden Philips crossed his arms and glowered at her. 
"For your information, I don't have a funny or feminine voice.  Obviously,
you've spent far too much time in a coffin and your hearing is beginning to
deteriorate."

"Warden Philips," Denlik intervened.
"Please, treat our guest with respect.  This is no time for petty
bickering. You must remember that everyone here has been through a great ordeal
and something which we have still yet to encounter."

Lara smirked. "Thank you.  At least one of you
has manners.  Now, would somebody explain to me what I'm doing in this horrible
cold room and where my dear Olligh is?"

"Of course," Denlik continued. "You're
presently resting in this fine chamber which, I might add, is a lot more
comfortable and welcoming than the crypt where we initially found you. As for
Olligh, I can promise that he'll be joining us here very soon."

"Hmm. You still haven't explained where he
is?"

"Look, you're worrying far too much over
nothing.  Olligh is safe and merely helping us to gather others like you.  Once
he returns you can both rest in peace and spend all your remaining time
together."

"So, you're keeping me captive here until he
returns?"

"Most certainly not.  I assure you, you're free
to leave whenever you want if that's what you most desire.  In the meantime,
I'd advise you to think seriously about the situation and not rush into
anything."

"Rush into anything?  Oh, I wish I could rush
into things but my legs still don't work do they?  I'm not going to be rushing
anywhere, anytime soon, am I?  I couldn't even get out of here if I really
wanted to."

"Well, that's slightly unfortunate," Warden
Philips uttered, "but, on the bright side, at least you're in capable
hands now.  Is there anything we can do for you to make your stay here that
little bit more comfortable?"

Lara tapped her fingers against the side of the
coffin. "Well, if I'm expected to wait here, I could do with a warm
drink.  My throat feels ever so dry.  I've probably caught a nasty cold."

Denlik smiled wryly. "Ah, yes.  Warden Philips
here will see to that for you."

"And, a fire would be nice.   It's so draughty
and chilly in here."

"Of course," Denlik continued. "Once
you've had your drink we'll sort out a nice cosy fire for you."

"Thank you. Oh, and one other thing..."

"Yes?" Denlik replied, attempting to edge
away.

"Would you please not close the coffin lid on me
anymore?  It's rude, not to mention disturbing and frightening."

"Of course. Now, if you don't mind, I need to
speak to Warden Philips in private.  Somebody will be back soon to keep you
company for a while and I would like to thank you for bearing with us in these
difficult times."

Lara sighed and adjusted her position, trying to make
herself comfortable in her coffin while Denlik and Warden Philips left the
chamber.  Denlik pulled the door shut behind him and walked quickly along the
passageway with a heavy scowl on his face.  Warden Philips scurried behind.

"That was most embarrassing," Denlik
snarled. "I shouldn't have to put up with waking corpses while conducting
my examinations.  Why didn't you have them checked first for any
irregularities?"

Warden Philips bit his lip.  "Erm..."

"Oh, and another thing. Whoever it was that was
responsible for mixing the last batch of potions, I want flogged... Severely
flogged."

"Indeed, High Warden.  This has been a most
unusual occurrence and I'll see to it that nothing like this ever happens
again."

"Yes, you had better see to it, otherwise I
guarantee it'll be you being flogged and stripped of your rank next time."