Chapter Twenty-Four
That night, Sandra returned to her shabby apartment. Robbie
drove her, along with the cringe-inducing amount of new clothes. He reminded her again that he’d be more than happy to fix her Mazda. For a friend of his wife’s, he’d even do it for free. Sandra had no way to refuse without seeming rude. And by the way Robbie beamed after, she realized he really did want to do it just to help her.
When she walked through the door to her apartment, and realized
this
was the hole she’d been hiding in for two years, the swell of shame in her middle almost knocked her over.
But she swept that feeling aside, instead focusing on her new zest for life. She was worth more than the person she’d made herself out to be in Ocean Shores.
And now, energized by the first full night of sleep in years, she understood she could take full control of her future.
A strong determination filled Sandra as she walked to the corner table to pick up the pile of neglected admission envelopes. She took out the slip of paper from the only one she’d ever opened, and sat down to read the letter again. “
Congratulations…
” it began.
The words were familiar to her, but their meaning seemed completely new. The admission committee at the Weill Cornell Medical College considered her an outstanding candidate, and invited her to pursue an M.D. degree—on a
full scholarship
. She understood, for the first time, just how big an opportunity that was.
As she took out the rest of the papers from the admission packet, she realized, reflecting back, that she’d
enjoyed
what she’d studied.
She’d
enjoyed
her pre-med education. She loved the classes, loved the subjects. She loved helping people. Here, in Ocean Shores, she’d seen Doctor Baker interact with his patients. Many times they would come in depressed, gloomy, unhappy. And they would leave the office beaming.
That’s what she could do, if she practiced medicine.
Not because she was trying to be like her sister.
But because she was finally free to be herself.
Sandra found her fingers moving automatically, sliding under the seal of the next envelope to break it open. She took out the papers, and read the words at the top of the letter. “
Congratulations
….”
A budding excitement filled her as she tore through the rest of the envelopes. Acceptance, acceptance, waitlist—rejection. Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance, waitlist. Rejection. Sandra threw the two rejections to the side and hugged the rest of the letters to her chest, emitting a happy squeal. She felt like dancing, like singing, like screaming out and letting everybody know that she was
in control of her life!
She twirled around the room, dizzy with excitement. When she collapsed on her bed, she noticed all the bags she’d left leaning against one wall. She had no idea where she’d fit the clothes in this small apartment. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was that she was finally taking responsibility for her future.
And it was all because of one man.
A yawn escaped her lips, and Sandra closed her eyes, thinking of Brandon. She felt a contented fatigue wash over her as she replayed the magical weekend in her mind. Soon, she fell into a deep, restful sleep.
When she woke the next day, the sun shining bright through her small window, there was no aftertaste of sorrow on her mind.
The nightmare hadn’t come. And, judging by the sun outside, it was close to noon. She’d slept in, two days in a row, and the
nightmare hadn’t come!
Brandon had changed her. He’d impacted her life more than she could believe. All it took was one cathartic weekend with him.
What would happen after a week together? A month?
Sandra jumped from bed, energized and excited. Tomorrow, she had work, but today, she had time to do her own things. She dusted off the old laptop she’d hidden in the closet, spread the letters over the floor, and settled herself cross-legged in the middle of the room to start investigating the schools.
Halfway through the afternoon, she decided she’d call her parents. She hadn’t heard their voices for two long years. She missed them dearly, but only now did she trust herself enough to talk to them without the risk of falling into her previous life.
Later, though. Right now, she had to figure out what she wanted to do with the acceptance letters. It had been two years since she’d received them. The deadline to reply had obviously passed. But she was sure she could manage something if she called the admission offices and explained her situation.
As she worked, her mind kept drifting to Brandon. His smell, his taste, his touch. The way he’d turned her life around without realizing it. Everything about him intoxicated her mind.
When her phone buzzed later with a text, and she knew right away it was Brandon, she decided that she was irrevocably falling in love.
The signs were new, but unmistakable: The blaze of desire that heated her blood. The constant, erratic fluttering of her heart. Her barely-audible sighs when she thought about him.
Yes, with all that, love was very much within reach. She wondered what it would be like when she got there.
And she wondered if Brandon would ever feel the same way about her.
Sandra knew she had to be careful. She knew that she should rein in her wandering imagination. But rationality was impossible to adhere to at times like this.
She looked at her phone—and felt a burst of panic. Brandon had said he was driving to her
townhouse
to pick her up for a surprise outing.
I’m at
Cassie’s, she punched in quickly.
Meet me there?
Sure.
Sandra bolted out her room and ran all the way to
Cassie’s Blend
, arriving breathless just minutes before Brandon.
Brandon hadn’t been able to find the kid yet. The call Clarisse made had been a false alarm. Mark, their west coast distributor, had a name. Mark had a picture. But neither of those was of the right person.
It meant Brandon still had to find whoever was dealing on their territory, and put a stop to it. The more kids he could deter from a life of crime and drugs, the better. He had no illusions about their prospects of success in that world.
Brandon had succeeded, yes, but that was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. He’d had the advantage of starting at the right time, in the perfect place, with a partner who doubled his lifetime of experience. Clarisse had been there from the onset to guide him as well, before he made too many irreversible mistakes that would have fucked up his life for good. Nobody else could replicate that.
As soon as this search was over, Brandon would leave the network behind. Stepping down at this point of his life was a stipulation Clarisse had made him swear upon before she agreed to partner with him. He might miss parts of the work, he thought, but now he had something better.
He had Sandra.
Every minute spent away from her, thoughts of Sandra shot through his head like fireworks. He’d never felt this way about anybody before—not even close. His hunger for her was insatiable.
But, he had no idea how he would reconcile what he knew about their shared past with what they shared now. He’d promised her honesty, but couldn’t live up to it. Not yet. He
wanted
to tell her the truth about the fire. But he didn’t dare until he was certain of how she would react to it. Brandon could not risk losing her if he revealed things too early, or in the wrong way.
He noticed Sandra inside as he pulled into the parking lot of
Cassie’s Blend
. She was turned away at the counter, and Brandon enjoyed the moment just looking at her. Sandra was so elegant, the shape of her body so graceful. Her dark-rooted blonde hair streamed down past her shoulders. He wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through it, bring it to his nose and breathe deep. There had always been something he’d liked about women’s hair, but Sandra’s was unrivaled.
Every little thing about Sandra triggered his drive to possess her—and to do it fast. There was nothing left in his repertoire of self-control to combat it. But then again, he saw no reason to fight his desires.
He’d never responded this strongly to a woman before.
Brandon surprised her by grabbing her from behind and spinning her around for the greatest kiss of her life.
Every kiss Sandra shared with him seemed to be worthy of that designation.
As she came back down to earth, she realized Cassie was very openly watching them. And very warmly smiling at Brandon.
“I’m going to steal your friend for a bit,” Brandon told Cassie in his husky way of speaking. “But I promise you’ll get her back in one piece.”
Sandra knew she was already his.
They raced to the car with all the urgency of teenagers. She finagled him into returning to his friend’s place instead of whatever outing he’d planned. She’d seen the beach house, but never been
inside
it, and was curious to see how he lived. But when they arrived, and Brandon led her down the cliffs into the secluded cove, he turned to her and said, “I have a better idea. How about we go for a quick sail first?”
“A sail?”
“Sure. It’s a beautiful day. The sun’s bright, the air’s warm. We’ll have total privacy on
VEGA
.”