William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back (4 page)

—Fine good morning, lads,

’Twas nice of you to fin’lly come around.

Hear, Echo Base: I say, they have been found!

[Exeunt.

Through hazy dreams I have vague memories

Of being taken to the rebel base

And given the droid medic’s greatest care.

Now here I am, and naught but scars remain,

Thus is the creature’s foul at last made fair.

Good Master Luke, my wires are fill’d with joy

To see thee fully functional again.

[
aside:
] O that I too could speak aloud!

[
To Luke:
] Meep, squeak!

R2 expresseth his relief as well!

How goes it with thee, chuck? O verily,

Thou dost look well to me. In faith, thou seem’st

E’en strong enough, I’ll warr’nt, to pull the ears

From off a gundark.

—Truly, thanks to thee.

Now thou dost owe me two good turns, my friend.

[
To Leia:
] Indeed, Your Worship, well have you conspir’d

To keep me in thy presence longer.

—Fie!

’Twas not my doing. Gen’ral Rieekan doth

Believe that it is still too dangerous

For any ship to leave the system, aye—

E’en thy belov’d
Millenn’um Falcon
—till

The shield of energy is active.

—Ha!

A cloth of fiction thou dost weave, yet I

Have found the fatal error in thy stitch:

For I believe thou wouldst not let a man

So beautiful as I depart from thee.

The only stitch I know is in my side,

From laughing at thy pride most heartily.

Thou mayst attempt to needle at my heart,

But I am sewn of stronger thread than this.

To say I would not let thee go—pish, pish!

I know not whence thy great delusions come,

Thou laser brain.

[
laughing:
]          —Gihut, gihut, gihut!

Aye, laugh indeed, thou fuzzball large. But thou

Hast not seen us alone i’ th’passage south,

Where she did unto me unspool, in full,

Her feelings true of fondest love for me.

My feelings? O! Thou arrogant half-wit,

Thou oversizèd child, thou friend of slime,

Thou man of scruffy looks, thou who herd’st nerfs,

Thou fool-born wimpled roughhewn waste of flesh!

What scruffy? Scruffy, how? Whose scruffiness?

How am I all bescruff’d? [
To Luke:
] Belike my words

Were accurate and hit upon the mark,

Since now she hath her temper lost. True, Luke?

Thus is it plain that till thou tam’st thy tongue,

No tongue of woman shalt thou comprehend.

[Leia kisses Luke at length, then exits.

Egh, auugh, gihut!

[
from speaker:
]

—All personnel report

Unto the center of command at once.

[
aside:
] Well hath she play’d the trump.

[
To Luke:
] Be thou at ease.

[Exeunt Han Solo, Chewbacca, C-3PO,

and R2-D2.

O kiss most rare, O lips from heaven sent!

This is a moment I’ll not soon forget.

Though I can sense her heart doth turn to Han,

Still doth this kiss play tricks upon my soul.

By this fair princess I have been bewitch’d—

’Twas ever so since I saw her distress

In R2’s beam, a’pleading for our help.

But though the lass doth move my heart to joy

I ne’er would tempt her with a word too large,

For shall a Jedi’s path lead t’ward romance?

But this sweet kiss I’ll hold in mem’ry’s vault

As a reminder of my noble cause:

To serve rebellion and my princess kind.

[Exit Luke.

A visitor hath come, my princess. ’Tis

Outside the base, in sector twelve, and doth

Appear to be directed eastward.

—’Tis

A thing of metal, cold and harsh and sleek—

It is not animal.

—Well, then ’tis not

The self-same creature that did harm our Luke.

But what do ye men think that it may be?

Belike a speeder, one of ours?

—Nay, wait.

A signal dim doth reach unto mine ears.

[A faint signal is heard.

[
through comlink:
] Beh mena bem bem. Mena bem bem beh.

Good Sir, six million forms of language do

I know, and I may tell thee true that this

Strange signal is not by th’Alliance us’d.

It may, perhaps, be an Imperi’l code.

’Tis not a friendly sound, that much is sure.

Now Chewie, come with me and we’ll to it.

[
Aside:
] Snow creatures first, and now Imperi’l droids,

What portents of great evil may these be?

Though I am brave, forsooth these signs do make

E’en my courageous heart begin to fear.

I find myself afraid of what may come,

That my whole soul shall freeze ere this is done.

[
To all:
] Chewbacca and myself have ventur’d out

To see the probe. Now Chewie gives a shout—

It fires on him, and I respond in turn.

Be gone, thou enemy of all that’s right.

But wait, now what hath happen’d? I releas’d

A blast most simple—aye, a single blast.

Yet it appears that single blast was all

It could withstand; the blast was lethal, friends.

Now naught is left, for it hath been destroy’d.

What was’t?

—A droid. My blast did not strike hard,

Belike the thing did self-destruct.

—’Tis clear!

A probe droid from the Empire. This doth mean

The start of our rebellion’s flight from Hoth,

For now that we discoverèd have been

We lack security.

—Agreed. Methinks

The Empire knoweth we are here on Hoth.

[
Aside:
] My sense of doom and dread is not without

Its cause, for this event is grave indeed.

Good friends, dear rebels, comrades one and all,

We have no choice but to flee hastily.

Our swift evacuation shall commence,

And till ’tis done, make ready our defense.

[Exeunt.

My admiral?

—Yes, Captain.

—Here’s a thing

That thou shouldst see, good Sir. We have receiv’d

Report from a Hoth system probe, the best

That we have found so far.

—Your best, belike,

Shall bested be, for thousands of these probes

We have a’wandering the galaxy

And looking for the rebels. I want proof,

Piett, not leads. Proof—only that—is best.

But Sir, this best is better yet, for it

Hath found some forms of life upon the ground.

How better yet? How best? It could be but

An error or some useless reading. If

We were to follow ev’ry lead, our best

Would soon turn worst.

—And yet I do maintain

My best is better yet for this: ’tis said

That Hoth is all devoid of human forms.

It seems, good Sir, the rebels have been found.

Why else would sign of life appear on Hoth?

I’ll warrant, Sir, my forecast shall prevail.

You have found something good?

—My Lord, we have.

A probe that late hath made descent on Hoth

Hath made discovery of both life forms

And the appearance of a power source.

[Piett shows Vader the screen.

Thy judgment hath prov’d best, Piett: ’tis them.

Forsooth, the rebels may be found therein.

My Lord, there are throughout the galaxy

So many settlements we have not mapp’d.

This could be smugglers, maybe even—

—Nay,

That is the system, certain am I of’t,

And Skywalker is with them there. Now set

Thy course t’ward Hoth, and Gen’ral Veers, prepare

Your men for combat.

[Exeunt Admiral Ozzel, General Veers, and Captain Piett.

—Hath not a Sith eyes?

Hath not a Sith such feelings, heart, and soul,

As any Jedi Knight did e’er possess?

If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you

Blast us, shall we not injur’d be? If you

Assault with lightsaber, do we not die?

I have a body as do other men,

Though made, in part, of wires and steel. And aye,

I vari’us passions feel, as all men do.

So I, a Sith, shall not distracted be

Till I attain the thing for which I seek.

Therefore I shall pursue this Skywalker

Unto the limit of the galaxy.

For true, he hath the Death Star quite destroy’d,

And true, he hath the Force with him as well.

But truly, more than that the boy doth have—

For truth be told, his name doth stir my soul.

The boy’s connection to myself I do

Not understand as yet. This Skywalker

Must have some link to my life past, but what?

So shall this Sith pursue this rebel lad,

And find the missing truth of Vader’s life.

What news dost thou have, Gen’ral Veers?

—My Lord,

Our noble fleet hath flown to Hoth in haste

With hopes to catch the rebels by surprise.

The fleet has movèd out of lightspeed now,

But com-scan hath detected a sharp shield

Of energy surrounding planet six

Within the system. It is strong enough

To hinder what bombardment we can make.

This grim news I report with sadden’d mien:

It seems, my Lord, our fleet is all too close.

The rebels are aware of our attack,

For Adm’ral Ozzel left lightspeed too near

To the Hoth system.

—He believ’d surprise

Was wiser…

—Say no more. Speak not to his

Defense. He is as clumsy as he is

Replete with ignorance. Prepare your troops

Now, Veers, to lead a ground attack. We shall

Still win the day, despite the blunder.

—Aye.

[Exit General Veers.

Lord Vader, I am happy to report

The fleet has come out of lightspeed and is

Prepar’d to—

[Darth Vader begins to choke Admiral Ozzel using the Force.

—Thou hast fail’d me once again,

But nevermore shalt thou have chance to fail.

I bring the Force to bear upon thy throat

That thou, in thy last breath, shalt know my pow’r.

Captain Piett?

—My Lord?

—Prepare to land

Our troops beyond the shield of energy,

And then deploy our fleet so naught can ’scape

The system. Do it, Admiral Piett.

And be thou sure to rise to thy new rank.

[Admiral Ozzel dies. Exit Darth Vader.

Alas, with this promotion comes some dread,

For Vader hath no rev’rence for the head.

[Exit.