Authors: Fern Michaels
Ash jolted awake. “This is not the time or the place for family bickering. There’s no need to pick each other apart out of frustration.”
“Dad’s right,” Sage said.
They heard the tap of John Noble’s shoes before they saw him. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair stood on end. His jaw was grim and he needed a shave. He cleared his throat twice before he could speak. “We’ve managed to stop the internal bleeding. Birch was in surgery for four hours. Right now he’s in the Intensive Care Unit. He’s being monitored minute by minute. That’s the good news. The bad news is he’s lapsed into a coma. This happens sometimes. It could be temporary or it could be . . . a while. There is the possibility he won’t come out of it. For now that’s all I can tell you. I’m not going to lie to you. Birch is in critical condition. It can go either way. I know you want to see him, so you can follow me and look through the glass. Five minutes. Not one second longer. Then I want you all to go home. Get some sleep, eat something, shower, and then you can come back. That’s the way we do things here. If there’s anything you don’t understand, tell me now. Good, follow me.”
Bess lagged behind to stand next to her husband as the others pressed their hands against the glass partition. “Is that all of it, John?”
“That’s all of it. You have to find Fanny, Bess.”
“Is it that bad, John?”
“It’s that bad. Right now his chances look like zip. He’s young, he’s healthy, he could fool all of us. Lily was D.O.A. They’ve taken her body to the morgue. I don’t suppose you know if her half brother and sister are going to claim the body.”
“I don’t know. The police said they would notify them. I’ll check with them later. They say when you go into a coma you go to a deep, dark place. I read that somewhere, John. The article said if you talk to the person you stand a good chance of bringing them out of it. We could take turns doing that. Sunny can talk for hours and hours. Should we do that?”
“Bess . . . everybody has a theory about comas. I’m a medical man. When the time comes . . . if it comes, and you want to talk to Birch, I certainly wouldn’t stop you. I’ve read those same articles. Prayer is good. Concentrate on that right now, and finding Fanny.”
“Fanny was so upset when she left. Simon probably suggested something on a whim and they probably followed that whim. What if . . .”
John kissed his wife on the cheek. “Time’s up,” he said quietly.
“They don’t hear you,” Bess whispered. “Can’t you see? They’re all inside that room with Birch? Those kids have always been tighter than feathers on a duck. Each one of them has taken on Birch’s pain. Sage is dying inside. That’s his big brother by seconds.”
“We have to go,” Ash said quietly.
“He’s going to die. He is, isn’t he? Doctors never tell you the truth.” A second later Sunny broke formation and entered the room. She flung herself across the bed, sobbing heartbrokenly. “Wake up, Birch. Please, you have to wake up. They’re going to yank me out of here any minute. I don’t care. I had to talk to you. Both of us can’t go down. What will the others do if we both die? This is just a silly old accident. My stuff is worse, I know it is. You know Sage, he pretends to be tough, but he’s all mush. He needs you. Billie needs you. Dad can’t run the casino without you. Mom won’t be able to handle it. Are you listening to me, Birch? Wake up. I want you to wake up right now. Please, Birch, do it for me. I swear I’ll never say a cussword again. I’ll do everything you say. Damn you, Birch, wake up! Everybody here is pulling for you. You can do it. We need you. Listen to me, Birch, if I go, and I know I have something really bad so that means I’m going to . . . you need to be here for the others. They all think I’m stupid for not going to the doctors earlier. I knew way back then. I know now. You’re the lucky one because the doctors can fix you up. People recover from car crashes all the time. What I have can’t be fixed. Are you listening to me, Birch?”
“He can’t hear you, Sunny,” John said as he gently led her from the room.
Sunny shook off his arm. “You don’t know that. You can’t crawl inside his head. I don’t want to hear that. This place is supposed to be a medical marvel. Guess what, you better start doing some marvelous things. Don’t you dare let my brother die. Do you hear me?”
“I hear you, Sunny. Now, I want you to hear me. If you ever pull another stunt like that, I’ll bar you from this entire floor.”
Sunny turned around. “You don’t understand. I had to talk to him. I had to. I know you don’t understand, and I don’t care that you don’t understand. I didn’t jeopardize my brother’s health. I know he heard me. I felt it deep inside me. I don’t expect you to understand that either. No, you won’t bar me from this floor. I won’t allow it. I know you mean well and I mean well, so we’re going to have to meet somewhere in between. I own one quarter of this medical center.” She raised a shaky finger to point to Sage and Billie and then at Birch’s room. “That’s the other three quarters. Four quarters make a whole. If it comes to a vote. I know you think your way is best, but you could be wrong. Maybe my way is best because I love Birch, and he knows I love him. That has to count somewhere. That’s my brother in there. Just so you know, Dr. Noble. Come on, guys, time to take Dad home. We’ll come back later.”
“Guess she told you, huh? Would you really bar her from the floor?” Bess whispered.
John Noble looked uncomfortable. “Let me put it this way. I’d try to reason with her.”
Bess smiled wanly. “The four of them would shut this place down in a heartbeat just the way Fanny shut down Las Vegas. They are their mother’s children, and that’s their brother lying in there.” John cringed at the reminder. “What in the name of God was she saying in there?”
“You don’t want to know, Bess. Take them home and bring me some clean clothes. Toss in an egg salad sandwich, too. Put those little seeds in it, okay?”
“Take care of him, John.”
John nodded. “Find Fanny and find her quick. Bess, you know those prayers you say every night on your knees by the bed, say some extra ones, okay?”
Bess nodded as she blew her husband a kiss. “I’ll do my best.”
Simon groaned when he saw the flashing lights of the police cruiser in his rearview mirror. “Shit!” Instead of slowing down, his right foot pressed harder on the gas pedal. He knew it was a stupid thing to do, but he did it anyway. Like he could outrun a police car in his drunken condition. He cursed Jerry for talking him into going to the market for more beer. He knew better than to get into a car when he was drunk. He was about to get out of the car when he heard one of the officers bark an order. “Stay in your vehicle, sir, and roll down your window.”
Sir? Simon fumbled in his pocket for his wallet before he realized he’d just taken a twenty-dollar bill off the kitchen counter, change from their last Chinese delivery order. Drunk and driving without a license and vehicle registration. They’d lock him up and throw away the key.
Simon saw himself reflected in the officer’s polished sunglasses. He looked like death warmed over, his hair was on end, and he hadn’t shaved or showered in four days. He knew he smelled like a distillery
The first officer reached inside the car door and placed both his hands on Simon’s shoulders. “Mr. Thornton, there’s been an accident and you’re wanted at the medical center. Get cleaned up and we’ll drive you there.”
“Oh, not Fanny. Tell me it isn’t Fanny. What . . . who . . . how?”
“It’s your nephew, Birch. He was in a serious automobile accident. Do you know how we can locate his mother?”
“I don’t know where she is. She said . . . she was going somewhere to think about some . . . family matters. That’s why I’m here. I’m waiting. She didn’t want me around when she was doing her thinking. How bad is Birch?”
“You need to talk to his doctors. Follow us, Mr. Thornton, while I radio this in.”
Simon grappled with his drunkenness as his mind registered the fact that Fanny was safe but her son was injured and in critical condition. He drove carefully, his eyes on the cops’ taillights.
At the medical center, the family descended on him like a swarm of locusts. “Where’s Mom? Where’s Fanny?”
“I don’t know. Is there any change?”
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Ash snarled. “How can you not know where your wife is, for God’s sake?”
Simon’s insides started to rumble. “She said she was going off to think, and she wanted to be alone. Do you really think I could have stopped her? She wanted me to go back to the ranch, but I elected to stay here and wait for her because she was so devastated when we started down the mountain. It was what she wanted, Ash, what she needed to do.”
“And this is the result,” Ash snarled again. “Birch could die, Simon. What’s that going to do to Fanny if she isn’t here?”
“Ash, you can’t blame Fanny. Sage put her rental car plate out on the wire. Someone will see it, and she’ll be here before you know it.”
“What in the goddamn hell did she have to think about? That’s all she ever does, think, think, think. Don’t even think about giving me that crap about me getting Sunny to a doctor either. If she was the mother she always claimed to be, she would have dragged Sunny off three years ago. Oh, no, she ups and marries you and forgets all about her children. I’m sorry, Simon. I’m all wound up. Forget all that stuff I just said, okay? Wait just a minute here. If Fanny went off to think, that means there’s a problem between you and her. Aha, now it makes sense. So, there’s trouble in Paradise, eh?”
“If you weren’t in a wheelchair, I’d flatten you right here and now. Once an asshole always an asshole,” Simon grated as he walked away.
In the coffee shop, with a steaming cup of coffee that tasted like real coffee, Simon fought the urge to cry. His shoulders started to shake when he felt a gentle hand. “Simon, is it really you?”
“Bess. God, a normal person. Please, sit down. Talk to me in that sane, sensible voice of yours. I just had a go-round with Ash.”
“Is Fanny upstairs?”
“I don’t know where Fanny is.” He repeated his story for Bess’s benefit. “Where would she go, Bess? For all I know she could be holed up in any one of the hotels in town. Or, she could be in the mountains sleeping in the car. Sage put her plate out on the wire. I have no clue. You know her, where would she go?”
Bess shrugged as she stared into Simon’s eyes. They were so blank she felt afraid. “I’ve called everywhere. Billie and Thad didn’t go back to Washington. I thought the four of you went off somewhere. This is like Fanny, but at the same time it’s unlike her. The kids are right, though, Fanny never goes anywhere without telling someone where she can be reached. So, I guess her getting away must have something to do with the two of you.”
“Until she married me. Her going away was because of Sunny. Don’t make a federal case out of nothing, Bess. Thad took Billie to Hawaii. It was a last minute trip and a surprise.”
“Yes, until she married you. Wait a minute! I think I have an idea. I might be wrong, but I don’t think so. You wait here, Simon.”
Simon stared at Bess’s back as she raced from the coffee shop. Five minutes later he saw and heard her car screech out onto the main road. He gulped at the lukewarm coffee, his hands trembling so badly he could barely hold the cup. Had Fanny confided her unhappiness to Bess, to Billie Coleman?
Fanny stared at the bird’s nest in the cottonwood. For days now she’d been mentally willing the mother bird to leave the nest. She’d even tried whispering to the mother bird, who stared at her, which was strange in itself. The bird wasn’t afraid of her. Maybe it had something to do with the plate of worms she’d dug in the soft earth under the overhang. She thought the babies were ready to fly, but then, what did she know about birds?
“What I do know is if you coddle them too long, they’ll never be independent and they’ll hang on your tail feathers forever. Just do it and they’ll follow you. They trust you. That’s what motherhood is all about, you know. Trust is a two-way street where children are concerned. Children trust you to raise them right, to do right by them to the best of your ability, and a parent has the right to expect love and respect and trust, in that order. It’s not that way with husbands and wives, though, and I don’t know why that is. Another thing, that nest isn’t big enough for all of you. Go on, fly. I’ll tell you what, I’ll go down off the porch and if it looks like they’re in trouble, I’ll catch them.” Fanny didn’t feel silly at all for talking to a bird or walking down the steps to see if her intuition was correct. She waited patiently as the mother bird finally perched on the edge of the nest, her wings rustling anxiously in the quiet morning air.
“Do it,” Fanny whispered. She watched, hardly daring to breathe as the mother bird fanned her wings over the nest, lifting each little bird with the tip of her wing. Fanny felt the moistness in her eyes as each baby bird took wing. She laughed aloud as the mother bird took to the air, her right wing dipping slightly. Fanny offered up a snappy salute. “Anytime. Your job isn’t over yet,” she called. “You need to watch over them even if it’s from a distance.” Would they come back? Probably not. “It’s supposed to be this way,” Fanny murmured.
Fanny sat for hours on the porch, her eyes scanning the blue sky for a sign of the birds. A wave of sadness swept over her. They didn’t need her or the worms she’d dug for them. They were off on their own, soaring high above the trees.
Maybe it was time to go back. Time to join the real world again. Time to call her children to tell them she loved them, time to make decisions where Simon was concerned. It was time.
She could be on the road in thirty minutes once she packed her bag, cleaned out the refrigerator, and gathered up her trash. She could stop at the first convenience store she came to and call Simon to tell him she was on her way. If she hurried and drove the speed limit, she could be back at the ranch by dark.
She heard the car, the sound of the horn, and then she saw a spiral of dust swirl upward. Company? Chue? Who?
“Bess! What are you doing here? How did you know I was here? Something’s wrong. Tell me. What, Bess, what happened?”
“Fanny, sit down. We’ve been looking for you for four days. The police found Simon. He’s been staying at Jerry’s house. He didn’t go back to the ranch the way you asked him to. He waited for you. It’s Birch, Fanny. His car went off the mountain the night of the christening. Lily died in the accident and . . . Birch . . . Birch is in a coma. My suggestion would be to leave your car and have Chue and one of his boys come for it.”
“Let me get my purse and key to lock the door.”
Bess’s breath exploded in a loud sigh. Had she expected tears? She knew a thing or two about glazed eyes and shock.
Fanny locked the door. “There were these birds, Bess, a mother and her babies . . .”
Bess listened until Fanny wound down. “Listen to me. Everyone is . . . upset. That’s understandable. They’re angry with you because you didn’t say where you were going. Simon and Ash had words this morning. It isn’t going to be easy, Fanny. Even if you’d been there, there was nothing you could do. There’s nothing anyone can do. Everything medically that could be done has been done. Birch is in other hands now. Do you understand what I’m saying, Fanny?”
“Yes. How did it happen?”
Bess told her. “Sage pulled him out. Tyler was on the scene within minutes. I’m not going to lie to you, Fanny. It isn’t good.”
“They’re all blaming me, aren’t they?”
“In a manner of speaking. They’re upset. You can see the terror on their faces. Ash is ... inconsolable. Sunny flips out on the hour. Billie seems to be holding up fairly well. Sage is just angry. He’s so stiff he looks brittle. He’s not saying much. He just sits there and I know he’s roll-calling every minute of his and Birch’s life. You have to be strong, Fanny, and pull your family together before they destroy each other.”
“What is John saying, Bess? Were specialists called in?”
“Of course. The best of the best, from all parts of the country. They’ve all concurred and they’ve all agreed, nothing more can be done. Your son is in other hands now, Fanny.”
“A coma isn’t good.”
“People come out of comas all the time. Everyone, including John, thought Birch would come out of his after seventy-two hours, but he didn’t. He’s being monitored minute by minute. Pneumonia looms on the horizon so they’re trying to guard against that. It could be turning around as we speak. Medical marvels happen every day of the week.”
“I don’t think I could bear it if something happened to Birch. How did Billie Coleman handle Riley’s death? He was her only son. She told me once that a part of her heart, the part that was reserved for Riley, was missing. Can’t you drive any faster, Bess?”
“Of course I can drive faster, but I’m not going to.”
Fanny’s voice was a low, hushed whisper when she said, “Bess, do you ever wonder, ever question God as to why certain people seem to get so much pain and grief in their lives and other people just go about their business and never experience a moment of anxiety? I’ve never understood why it’s like that.”
“Fanny, let’s not get into that right now. Let’s just say God acts in mysterious ways and let it go at that. My mother always said you never question God nor do you make bargains with Him.”
“I find myself wondering what I did wrong. First Ash, then Sunny, and now Birch. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to marry Simon. Maybe I’m not supposed to be happy. Why can’t I cry, Bess?”
“Because you’re numb. Crying just makes your eyes red and ugly. Remember how my mother used to tell us that all the time? It’s true.”
“I don’t feel anything. It’s as if someone took away my insides and the rest of me is just a shell. I can walk and I can talk, but I can’t feel.”
“Why did you go to the cottage, Fanny?”
“I had to do some hard thinking. Mostly about Sunny. I knew if I didn’t get it all straight in my head, I would start to cover myself in guilt. I don’t want to live with guilt. I had to do some thinking about Simon, too. We didn’t have that talk, did we, Bess? I know now I was wrong. I never should have allowed Simon to dictate to me. I stepped over the line where Sunny was concerned. I have to find a way to make it right. At one point, early on, Tyler more or less, without actually coming out and saying the words, implied that Sunny was playacting to get attention. He worked long hours and she was alone a lot and there was trouble with Ash. Three doctors said they couldn’t find anything wrong with her. John felt as I did, but we couldn’t drag her wherever we thought she should go. Did John ever tell you Sunny told him if he didn’t get out of her life she’d get her brothers and sister to agree to remove him from the staff?”
“No, he never told me that.”
“Well she did. John backed off just the way I did. I wish you had a phone in this car so I could call the center. Does . . . Birch have a lot of tubes in him?”
“Uh-huh. He’s hooked up to a lot of machines. It’s frightening at first when you see them until you realize they’re keeping him alive. Like John says, Birch is young, he’s healthy, and he’s a fighter.”
“And he’s in a coma.”
There didn’t seem to be any comment to Fanny’s statement. Bess drove on in silence.
A long time later, Bess said, “I’ll drop you off in front and park the car. ICU is on the fifth floor.”
Fanny pressed the elevator button.
Your firstborn son will break your heart
. Fanny whirled around, certain she’d heard Sallie’s voice.
You need to be strong, Fanny. Not for the others, for yourself
.
Inside the elevator, Fanny pushed the number 5. When the door closed, she whispered, “Are you here, Sallie? You are. I can feel your presence. Does that mean you’re here to take . . . my son? Tell me, please.” When there was no response to her plea, Fanny’s shoulders slumped, then squared immediately when the doors of the elevator slid open to reveal her family in the small waiting area. No one rose to their feet, no one greeted her except Simon, who held out his hand.
You need to be strong, Fanny. Not for the others, for yourself.
“Where is he, Simon? I want to see him.”
“Ten minutes on the hour, Fanny. It’s the rule.”
“Then break the damn rule. I want to see my son.”