The Willow Tree: A Novel (29 page)

Most of the snow melted instantly upon hitting the street, but there was a thin layer of white on the cold ground of the deserted area and the abandoned buildings had a fairy tale quality to them perceived through the falling snow, splotches of white on cracks, ledges and protruding bricks and piles of debris and Bobby continued rushing through the snow, still feeling excited, exhilarated and sweating from his encounter with Luis, continuing to look around, alert and aware of his surroundings, and the more he looked around the more he slackened his pace until he stopped, about a block away from Moishes, and stood still feeling the snow brushing against his face, refreshing him, looking at the buildings through this same snow, feeling slowly more and more detached from his surroundings, feeling absorbed by the scene that surrounded him, how it made everything that had just happened seem so distant, so far away, so unreal, like it was all some sort of kids cartoon and everything was soft and quiet and happy ever after and they just cant never be no rats in those walls…not now or ever…just no rats in the walls….

             continuing to walk slowly through the snow, feeling as if each flake was brushing his cheek then moving aside to let him through, as if each flake was his friend and there to help him do whatever he had to do and he stopped again and tilted his head back and opened his mouth and let the snow drift down to his throat or lay on his tongue, blinking his eyes against the flakes, and feeling as if there was music going through him, music that he wasnt hearing, but somehow feeling, some sort of easy music like some of those far out gospel singers, those really righteous groups and he could feel himself humming something as he once again started moving, feeling safe in the open spaces between the crumbling and deserted buildings, knowing there was nothing for anyone to be hiding behind, no way anyone could be running from the nearest building to where he was without him seeing them and knowing exactly what to do and exactly where to go. He was in the wide open spaces, the most wide open space left in the city, completely visible to anyone who might be looking, even in the falling snow, but even if there was someone looking he was absolutely safe so he walked slowly towards Moishes, from time to time tilting his head back and opening his mouth to the falling snow, feeling it go down his neck but not caring because he knew he would soon be home where it was warm and dry, yet increasingly aware of how the cold had penetrated him to the bone, now that he wasnt using his energy to ignore it and accomplish his mission, and now the breeze was becoming a wind and every breath was even more chilling, but still he stopped occasionally and tilted his head and felt and tasted the snow, until he was going down the stairs to the cellar. After taking a couple of steps, he stopped, for a second, then turned and went back to the stairs and looked out at the snow and the buildings that were visible, buildings he knew were a dirty red but looked sort of rosy through the pale gray whiteness of the snow-filled air. He stared at the snow, the buildings, watching the flakes drift the final few feet to the ground or the railing by the steps, and sometimes disappear, then raised his eyes again to watch another snow flake flutter its way to the ground, fascinated by the whole procedure, thinking of a snow flake starting way in the hell up there wherever they come from and travel all that way just to disappear into the ground, or some day melt and flow to the sewers, but right now it was nice to look at, so peaceful and quiet and made the air feel like a feather against your cheek—an make everything look so nice, so different than the way you know it looks but it was nice to have it look this way for a while…at least for a while….

                     eventually he turned and went back to the apartment.

Moishe was determined not to sit and think about Bobby while he was gone. He went to his workshop and kept busy putting together some shelving for a friend and customer, playing the radio a little louder than usual hoping to drown out his thoughts, reminding himself to concentrate, that his friend deserved the very best Moishe could do, and so he worked carefully, methodically.

It went well for a couple of hours but soon his stomach reminded him of the passage of time, but was afraid to stop to eat lunch for fear without distractions he would fall into the pit of worry and never get out and so he continued working, suddenly dropping the sanding block and jerking around when he heard the door opening.

Moishe reached the kitchen after Bobby had taken off his wet clothes and hung them by the door and he could hear him in the workout room….and recognized the sound of water going into the whirlpool. He looked at the wet jacket and hat for a second, then went into the other room. Bobby was in the tub, the water still coming in and rising up his chest. Moishe noticed instantly that he was sweating.

Youre alright?

Yeah, sure Mush. I be fine.

Moishe looked at him for a moment, nodding his head, Needing another whirlpool, ya?

Yeah. I need be gettin warm an this be the bes way.

Ya—nodding his head—Ya—staring at Bobby, not knowing what to say but feeling the need to say something—Im making us some hot soup, ya?

That be good Mush. Yeah, I be goin for that.

Moishe struggled with his feelings as he started heating soup, not wanting them to force him to say or do something he had no business doing or saying, keeping as deeply involved as possible in what he was doing at the moment.

Bobby sat in the warm water, feeling it rise higher and higher, feeling the heat penetrate deeper and deeper into his body….waiting for it to get high enough to turn on the jets…feeling his body get lighter and lighter as the water continued to rise…and then he turned them on and the water started flowing around him and all the remaining chill left his body, as did the tension, and he leaned back and allowed the water to relax him and for a moment he concentrated on the smell of the soup, but soon he was becoming less and less aware of his surroundings, less and less aware of his body…more and more detached from it and everything else, that lovely state he sometimes experienced when he sat in the whirling warm water, that state of knowing he was Bobby, but some other Bobby that seemed like he was more Bobby than the one he was familiar with, and all the trips of each day seemed to be gone, like there were no streets, no alleys, no rats, not even any walls or sky, like things just, were, and so he allowed the water to lift his body and he simply allowed himself to go where he went, hoping he could stay there as long as possible….

Eventually he felt himself becoming more and more aware of his surroundings, feeling the water, smelling the soup, and, eventually, his butt feeling tender from sitting in the tub, and aware of thoughts going through his head….that no one would be expecting him to go back tonight, that all he had to do was fill up on some hot soup, cool it for a couple of hours, then go back just about sunset….or maybe a little before, and grab Antonio…yeah, he had the strongest feeling it would work out perfect, that he would be able to get Antonio alone somewhere in his hood, he knew it, he just knew it in his bones….Yeah, there was no doubt it would all work out perfectly. He would be able to just grab him before he knew what was happening and fuckim over and then let Raul sweat for a while…yeah…thats the way it was. Perfect. He leaned back in the tub and smiled, raising his right fist in the air.

Moishe watched Bobby silently eating, aware that he was constantly glancing at the clock as if he had some important appointment to keep…and the expression on his face obviously meant Bobby was thinking of something, planning something, and was totally preoccupied with it and Moishe was going to have to struggle not to ask what he was thinking, determined to keep his mouth shut and—

Good soup Mush…it be nice an hot.

Good. Im glad youre liking—embarrassed by the hysteria he heard in his own voice.

It be cold out there. Thought my ass never be gettin warm.

Ya—straining to control his voice—Youre going a long time.

Yeah—pursing his lips and looking over Moishes head—But it be worth it—smiling, eyes narrowing—Two muthafuckas taken care of…2 more…actually one more then I be gettin Raul—peering at the joint of wall and ceiling—He be thinkin he outsmart me, but I knows what I be doin….

Moishe stared at Bobby, as he stared at the clock for a moment, then nodded his head, Jus about be dark about now…specially with the snow cant hardly be seein anythin about now—nodding his head again and slowly getting up from the table. He put on his jacket and knitted hat and gloves and opened the door, Be seein you later Mush, and left.

Just like that he leaves and Im sitting here hoping O Bobby…Bobby….

Bobby had only walked a few hundred yards when he became aware of the cold, the wind blowing much stronger now, the temperature dropping, and the snow being whipped around by the cross currents of wind blowing through the buildings and down the canyons of streets. He cupped his hands over his nose from time to time, being assaulted not only by the cold wind, but the memory of how cold he had gotten earlier in the day, how it had started getting painful to just keep moving, his nose and ears starting to feel like they were going to fall off, having to pound his hands together or hug himself to keep warm, and fight the temptation to stay in a warm hallway, if he found one, so now, only a few hundred yards, and a few minutes, from home, he felt the chill of the night penetrating his bones.

There was still a hint of light in the western sky and he figured it would be a good time to get back where he had been, nobody sees so good this time of night, very easy to make little mistakes in what you see, and they sure as hell would not be expecting him to show his face jus a few hours after taking care of Luis and Bobby chuckled to himself at the image of Luis laying in the alley, his pants down around his ankles and his own knife stuck in the cheek of his skinny ass. But that was before and this is now and he had to be careful and not fuck up or hed be dead meat, no doubt about that. He had to really check everything out no matter how cold he got, and he couldnt help thinking that if he was this cold now how cold would he be in half an hour, or an hour, or more if he had to stay out that long…but he knew he had to go back tonight, he knew it in his gut and in his bones, that this was the perfect time to get Alfredo, there was no doubt about that so he pushed himself a little more to keep walking and to keep his eyes open and moving all the time, utilizing his advantage to the fullest, the advantage of being the hunter. Yeah, he had a big advantage, but it wouldnt mean shit if he didnt stay aware and keep checking out every shadow, every corner, every angle.

It was a little easier when he got to the populated part of town where the buildings cut down on some of the wind, and he could lose himself more easily in the traffic of the streets, people ignoring moving bodies in this kind of weather, and he was going to take full advantage of the weather and his knowledge. He was saying Alfredo for now because he knew his routine…always being home between 5 and 7 during the week to eat with his family. His old man would whack the shit out of him if he wasnt there to eat. Once, a couple of years ago when he was just a kid, his old man came down to the candy store where he hung out and slapped the shit out of him in front of all his homies and dragged him home by the ear, twisting the fucking thing like he was trying to yank it off, Alfredo screaming and crying and pleading and not coming back to the store for a week, staying in the house because he was so humiliated. Bobby had checked him out everytime he came back to the hood and knew he would be home until 7, and so he knew exactly what he was going to do, having reviewed it in his mind, step by step, many, many times.

It was a little after 6 and he walked east on the street across from the candy store and stopped for a moment in a doorway and checked out what was happening. He could see Raul and a couple of others hanging out in the back, talking, waving their hands around like fucking windmills, and almost got lost in staring and hating their asses, but snapped himself back to where he was and what was happening and took a couple of slow, deep breaths, then continued walking east, then turned south at the corner. He had plenty of time to check everything out. He continued south for a couple of blocks, still being alert to his surroundings, even though he knew where Raul and some of his friends were, that this was spic turf and they would all be knowing who he was if he gave them a chance to see him, or let them get behind him, or ambush him around some corner, theyd love nothing more than tearing him apart, but he wasnt going to let that happen, he was going to stay cool and keep digging every muthafucka on the street, checking everyone and everything out, not allowing the smallest shadow avoid his attention.

He turned west and went into the second building and quickly climbed the stairs to the roof. He stood on the roof for a moment, leaning against the door, catching his breath, then walked very lightly and carefully across the roof to the south west corner which had an overhang that was only a few feet from the roof west of it. He jumped across and continued west to the other end then picked up the plank he had stashed against the side of the roof and placed it on the edge connecting to the building south and crossed over, then pulled the plank to that side. The edges of the next roofs were so close he had no trouble simply stepping across until he reached a building then went down the couple of stairs to the top floor where Alfredo lived. He stayed in the dark corner, knowing no one would notice him even if they looked, but no one ever did because the stairs going down were in the opposite direction so he would remain invisible. He figured he only had 10 minutes or so to wait and he breathed slowly and deeply until he was relaxed but alert, then wiggled his toes and fingers to be sure they had all their feeling and wouldnt suddenly numb up if he had to bolt into action, then shrugged all the different parts of his body, continuing to keep up the exercises until he heard footsteps approaching the door of Alfredos apartment only 6 feet away. The music coming from the apartments drifted to the back of his head somewhere and he heard, clearly, every footstep of Alfredos, the voices, Alfredos voice in response, the turning of the doorknob, and when he heard the initial squeak of the door opening he started leaning forward, knowing Alfredo would be facing the door as he closed it and as soon as he heard the squeak again he took his first step and just as he heard the click of the lock he covered Alfredos head and face with his gloved hands, twisted him around and powered his knee into his crotch as hard as possible, feeling more than hearing the groan that came from Alfredos mouth, then powering his knee into Alfredos gut, then again and again, allowing him to bend as he gasped for air through Bobbys hand still clamped tightly against his face, then Bobby quickly dragged him up the steps to the roof and once more kneed him in the crotch and eased him down on the thin layer of snow, being very quiet, silently grinding his face into the tar of the roof, then quickly taking Alfredos knife from his pocket before yanking his pants down and wrapping them around his ankles, then grabbing his hair and yanking his head around and up, Alfredo still gasping for air, and leaned within a few inches of his face, You be tellin that muthafucka Raul he be next, then sliced his cheek, stuck the knife in the roof just a few inches from his nose, then quickly disappeared across the roof, Alfredo still unable to breathe enough to yell, the entire sequence having taken less than a minute, and within 30 seconds after he left, Bobby was across 3 roofs, down the stairs to the air-shaft, through a cellar and up to the street and heading north east toward home, disappearing into the traffic, just another body in the foot traffic on the street, another shadow, same shape, same size, same speed, not thinking of what he had done or how he outsmarted them dumb muthafuckas, but doing what he needed to do right then, aware of every step, every car, every face, every hat, every jacket, checking them all out, until there were no more bodies to check out, no more cars to check out, no moving shadows to check out, just the shadows of the deserted buildings and rubble, only the sounds of the occasional rat or cat, and he turned a corner and leaned against the wall for a moment, listening to his breathing, not worrying about slowing it down, but allowing himself to feel the exhilaration and excitement of outslicking the spics again, of knowing he be playing with Rauls head an he be winning the game. Yeah, he damn sure be winning, and he felt like skipping across the rubble to home, but pulled himself back and finally did take a deep breath then checked out the area before starting home.