The UN Series Complete Box Set (47 page)

I roll off her and onto my side, letting her get up.

“I had no idea that they were coming. I went downstairs and they were in your mother’s kitchen.” I see the slight flinch of her body at the mention of her mother. “I’m sorry.” I jump up, pushing the covers off myself.

“For what?” she asks, pulling on her jeans.

I walk up behind her, wrapping my arms around her. I bend down so my lips are at her ear. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” She shakes me off.

I stand back from her, running a hand through my hair, confused. I don’t know how to take her right now. She was just begging me to fuck her, now she is pushing me away.

Should she be lying on the floor crying, clinging to me for dear life? If I know my Angel, she is regretting the moment of weakness that she had exhibited. I want her to know that I love her, all of her. No matter how she feels or how much her mother’s death will change her, I’m not going to leave her.

She throws on her shirt and opens the door, leaving the bedroom without even a backward glance.

Great! I feel as if I’m in one of those situations where I would have lost either way. Sex or no sex, she would have been pissed at me. I release a sigh as I stand up and throw my clothes back on, trying to think of anything but her lying beneath me, so my dick will go down before following after her.

*****

SAMANTHA

I run down the stairs, heading toward the kitchen, trying to calm my body. My heart is still pounding from the heart attack I almost had when Micah walked in on us. And my body is screaming to go back upstairs and rip Slade’s clothes off and make him give me the release that I need. I don’t know why he was taking his sweet ass time to give me what I know we
both
wanted.

I mentally give myself a little shake before I round the corner and smile. “This is a wonderful surprise,” I say, walking to the coffee pot. I don’t even make it to the counter when arms pull me into a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Sam,” Holly whispers as she squeezes me a bit tighter.

“It’s okay,” I assure her when she pulls away from me.

“How are you feeling, honey?” Vivian asks as she walks over, also giving me a hug.

“I’m fine.” I give her a small smile, wondering how many times I am going to have to repeat those words.

After she releases me from a long hug, I finish my walk over to the coffee pot. I pour some into a mug and then face everyone. It is eerily quiet in this room that is holding eight people. I give a weak smile as I take a sip and everyone watches me as if I’m on display. It makes me nervous.

“You guys didn’t have to come down here,” I blurt out, the first thing I could think of to fill the silence.

“We wanted to be here for you.” Holly gives me a small smile. “We figured you could use some help.”

“Yeah, I haven’t thought much about what I’m going to do with everything.” I take a sip of my coffee. “Thank you for coming.”

“You don’t have to thank us, darling,” Vivian replies.

I start to speak to her, but my eyes are drawn to Slade as he walks over to the kitchen table where Courtney and Josh are sitting. I see Josh fold up a piece of paper and place it in Courtney’s hands. My brows scrunch as I watch her hand it off to Slade. It only takes me a second to realize what it is.

The letter from my mom
.

I feel the wind knocked out of me. How dare they pass that around like it wasn’t my mother’s final goodbye to me? I set my coffee mug down and march over to Slade.

I snatch the note out of his hand and briskly walk out of the kitchen, fuming.

“Angel, wait.” I hear Slade call from behind as he follows me. I choose to ignore him, stomping up the stairs and into my bedroom.

“Angel,” Slade says softly as he comes through my door.

“What do you think you were doing?” I whirl around to face him. “Why would you pass this around?” I feel my anger start to fade as sadness overtakes it. “Why would you let everyone read this?” I cry, as I stare down at the paper in my hand. I have always felt ashamed that my mother hadn’t wanted me, but the note proves me a fool. In a way, it seems that I didn’t want her. That I didn’t try hard enough to be with her.

“I didn’t.” He inches closer to me and places a hand under my chin, lifting it so that I can peer into his baby blues. “Baby, I have been up here with you. I only went down there for a second. As soon as I saw everyone, I came back up here to get you. I don’t know who found it or who has even read it.” His eyes search my face. “I’m sorry.”

I take a shaky breath and hold back the tears. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of having an empty spot in my heart. Slade and I took a big step last night and that makes me happy. I love him and I’m going to move in with him. He loves me, really loves me. I mean, he came to me, he held me, even when I was at my lowest. He gripped me tightly while his soothing voice told me it was going to be okay, that he was here for me. That he would always be there for me. And I believe every word that he said.

I look at his messy hair, the stubble on his square jaw and his soft baby blue eyes. I have fallen madly in love with this man and he loves me back.

“It’s okay.” I shake my head slightly. “It wasn’t your fault.”

He frowns as he stares at me, his eyes roaming my face. “Angel, I want you to know that you don’t have to hide your feelings from me. When I said that I love you, I meant that.” He runs his thumb over my bottom lip, making my body tremble with the heat that it leaves. “I love you.”

“I love you,” I whisper as I reach up, placing my arms around his neck. I pull him down until our lips brush. I keep it soft and sensual, although all I want to do is rip his clothes off and ravish him.

I pull away as he watches me closely. His face is expressionless but I know he’s waiting for me to say something. “Honestly, I’m okay.”

He stares at me a few more seconds before he nods his head.

“I need to take a shower and get ready. I have to start getting things in order. I don’t really even know what all I need to do.”

“I’ll help you. Whatever you need, I’ll do it. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

I pull my shirt off, exposing my chest to him. I watch his eyes as they land on my breasts. I unbutton my jeans and slowly push them down along with my lace thong.

I smile to myself when he parts his lips. I think this is the perfect time to finish what we started before Micah interrupted us. I walk up to him until I feel his clothing against my naked skin.

I take his hands in mine and place them on my backside. “I need you, Slade.” Why hasn’t he already taken me? Can’t he see how much better I am today than I was last night? I thought I had cried all the tears I had left last night in his arms. And then after I told him I loved him, I lost it all over again.

I started crying because he didn’t run away laughing at me when I poured my heart out. He actually loves me as much as I love him. And also, I felt guilty for how good it felt to know that. I just lost my mother, who didn’t know how much I loved her. I wasn’t supposed to feel loved and special when I was so selfish and stubborn toward her. To say it is screwing with my emotions is an understatement.

But doesn’t he understand how I feel when he’s inside me? I know he realizes that he takes away my ability to think, to feel. Well, except about what he’s doing to me.

I look into his eyes and swallow nervously. They look hard, like he’s mad at me for some reason. But the way his tongue runs over his lips makes me think something entirely different and that throbbing between my legs returns.

We made love one time when we arrived here on Monday. And although he was gentle and I loved it, I’m ready for something a little more aggressive. I want him to take me, to show me that he still owns me. He takes me away from reality. To another world where lust and passion are so overwhelming, all I can think about is him. All I can feel is him, taking me higher and higher. I have come to need that escape, that release. Not only have I fallen in love with this man, I have become obsessed with how his body can control of mine.

I watch as he swallows, eyes still hard. He places a kiss on my forehead and pulls away from me. “I need to go get you a new phone. Do you want to stick with the iPhone or would you like something else?”

He has just turned me down
. I try not to show the hurt on my face.

“Uh,” I stammer, “you don’t have to do that. I will get a new phone later.” A phone doesn’t seem important right now, everyone I could possibly want to call was standing downstairs in my mother’s kitchen.

“I’m going to get you a phone.” He turns away from me, opening up my bedroom door.

“iPhone?” he asks again, turning his head to look at me over his shoulder.

“Sure. Thank you.”

He nods then walks out the door, closing it softly behind him.

I let out a breath and head to my bathroom. I turn on the shower and step in, letting the water run over me as I wash my hair.

I feel like we just took a huge step back. Why would he do that? Does he not desire me sexually anymore? Maybe he finally sees what a bad person I am. I mean, shit! All I can think about is getting laid while his family is downstairs and my mother’s body is waiting to be buried.

I rinse out my conditioner and sit down, bringing my knees to my chest. I lay my head down on my knees. I’m mentally exhausted.

He had a point, though. I do have a lot to do today, but I don’t even know where to begin. Whom do I talk to first? I guess my attorney would be the first person I need to call. I’m guessing Mom has a will. She did mention that she was leaving me everything. I’m hoping she noted where she wants to be buried.

I have never thought about dying. You would think I would have, considering my dad died so suddenly, but I haven’t. My mom said that my father had paid for her treatment. I’m sure he had contacted his attorney to set up things for her just in case she didn’t make it. I know that sounds bad, but that’s just how he was, always planning for the unexpected.

I bet he never expected Mom to ignore me. He probably thought she would have let me take care of her. Had I known what she was going through, I would have never packed my bags the day after graduation and left. I would have fought and argued with her until she caved. I would have put my entire life on hold for her. Now all I have left is guilt, guilt that I never came back demanding that she talk to me. Instead, I cowered behind a phone once a month, offering her money. She probably laughed at me, thinking I was trying to buy her affection. Didn’t it seem like I was though?

I was just trying to give her what I thought she didn’t have. I didn’t want her to go without. I thought it was the money that made her hate me, so I was trying to remedy that.

“How was I so stupid?” I whisper into my knees. I
hate
that she thought she didn’t need me. I also hate that I
believed
that she didn’t need me. It’s more my fault than hers. All she had to do was ignore a phone call. She would have never been able to ignore
me
had I had shown up just once at her house. I would have seen her and known something was wrong. Her body had been too small and frail, it would have sent up red flags, and I would have gotten an explanation.

I inhale deeply. I told myself I wasn’t going to do this, that I wasn’t going to blame myself, that she wanted it this way. The thought alone makes my chest ache and my breathing labored. How could she not want me? She said she wanted me to live my life. I’m not going to let her down. I want her to be proud of how I choose to live my life. That I have the strength to pick myself back up and go on. She wouldn’t want me sitting on the floor thinking about the things I can’t change. She wants me to live a life with no regrets and I have already taken a step toward that by telling Slade I love him. Even if he had turned around and walked away from me, I still would have taken that chance.

I take a shaky breath as I feel a tear run down my face. I’ve always wondered about our future, but now I know where it’s heading. We are moving in together. I wish I could ask my mom for some advice. She told me that she knows Slade loves me, but I know there’s more to a relationship than love. It takes hard work, from both partners. I know Slade is worth the work but what if he decides that I’m not?

I lift my head up when I think I hear the bathroom door. I look around to see that I’m still alone. Was someone just in here?

I stand up, quickly wash off, and turn off the water. I wrap a towel around myself and open the bathroom door.

Slade looks up at me from where he sits at the end of my bed.

“Hey,” I say, walking over to him.

He flashes me a small smile and then his eyes drop back down to his hands. I notice that he is holding a new iPhone. How long was I in the shower?

He doesn’t say anything to me as I stand there, staring down at him. I start to shiver, realizing my hair is a dripping mess, so I turn and head back into the bathroom. I close the door behind me and redo the knot in the towel to help keep it up. I pull the hairdryer out and get to work on my hair.