The Queen's Lady (17 page)

As I sit by my little window looking out on the chilly waters of the Channel, I regret only one thing – and that is the way I parted from you. I fear I left you without telling you how deeply I admire and

He paused again, his pen wanting to write ‘love’ but his mind telling him that was not fair on the lady. His aim was to cheer her up, not make promises he could not be certain of keeping. He scratched out ‘and’, inserting ‘your character’.

My departure had nothing to do with what passed between us in the garden, bitterly sweet though the memory is. I left London to flee myself. I hope I will return a better man, more worthy of your friendship. Until I have the good fortune of seeing you again, I pray you will welcome my letters when I have the chance to send them to England. I miss our conversations and it is a pleasant pastime to imagine that you are with me, listening to these words as I write them. In that way, I can think you are partner with me in this voyage, seeing the sights as I see them and sharing the same thoughts.

Too intimate? The pen hovered over the passage but James couldn’t bring himself to score it through. He meant every word. The lady had a grip on his heart no matter how he pretended otherwise. It was unlikely she would receive the letter for many months, and by then she would doubtless look upon his affection for her as an amusing episode and would have moved on to new scenes, new interests in the busy life at court. He let it stand unchanged, folded the paper and put it away to add to it later. Perhaps he would never send it, but at least this way Jane would be with him on the voyage.

Silver Street

The rain hammered the streets of London, turning the gutters into muddy streams, disguising the people as hayrick-shaped bundles of clothing as they huddled under cloaks and blankets hurrying through the wet. Christopher clattered into Milly’s shop, throwing his rain-sodden cloak to one side. She rushed to take his hat – he looked like he’d found every puddle between London and Plymouth.

‘Did you see James Lacey?’ she asked anxiously after sending Old Uriah into the kitchen so they could talk privately.

‘Oh yes, I saw him.’

‘But –’

‘I saw him standing on the deck of his ship heading out of port. I was in time to hear the parting salute, but not in time to catch up with him. Can you believe my luck?’ He collapsed on to the stool by the fire and rubbed his chilled hands together.

‘And there was no chance of overtaking him?’

‘How so, Milly? They had a good wind and a fast ship. Unless I sprouted wings at my heels like Mercury, what hope had I?’

She hung the hat on the rack over the fireplace. ‘I pray you pardon me; that was a stupid question.’

Christopher grunted. ‘I know I let you down. But whatever you might think, I really did make all speed. It’s this infernal damp weather – roads are like quagmires. Damn near lost my horse near Exeter.’

Milly left him briefly to fetch a tankard of strong ale, which she tapped from the barrel in the back kitchen. ‘Here, drink this. I know it’s not your fault.’

‘I left a message with the innkeeper just in case the ships are beaten back by the weather. Your James Lacey will receive it immediately on his return.’ He sipped the brew. ‘Ah, this is good. So, tell me what news here? Have I lost my position at the theatre for being away so long?’

Milly shook her head. ‘Of course not. I told your master that you were engaged on important business for a gentleman at court – a potential patron.’

Christopher closed his eyes and smiled. ‘Clever. Your father still here?’

‘Gone back to the Low Countries, but promises to return in the autumn.’

‘I like him. When he saw me to my horse last week, he sang your praises with every step. For a traitor, he’s an uncommonly pleasant fellow.’

Milly swatted the top of his head. ‘Hush, we no longer speak of that. It is in the past.’

‘And your friend?’

Her expression turned grim. ‘Her wedding is set for September. I don’t know what we are going to do now that your mission has failed.’

Christopher gave a philosophical shrug. ‘You tried your best, love. It’s up to your friend to refuse the suitor.’

Milly shook her head. ‘There speaks a man with the freedom to choose. You don’t know what it’s like to be in her shoes. Jane is under pressure from her family, the court and now even the Queen as she has been swayed by Lord Wetherby’s arguments that the match is a necessary one.’

Still the actor could not sympathize with the plight of one of the realm’s most privileged ladies. He swirled the contents of his tankard. ‘If your friend is rich, she’ll find a way.’

‘Sometimes, being rich is not enough. Sometimes, it’s the problem.’

‘Look on the bright side, Milly.’

‘And what’s that?’

He gave her a wink over the brim of his cup. ‘All those wedding clothes – some lucky seamstress is going to prosper.’

16

Despite the disappointment that Christopher’s mission had failed to catch the ship in time, Milly was conscious she owed him a huge debt for his efforts on behalf of people he did not know well or, in the case of James, even like. Remembering the actor’s love of eye-catching clothes, she worked quickly to make him a new hatband of gold and silver thread, embroidered with his initials. Two days after his return, she went to deliver it in person as the first instalment of her thanks.

She had just stopped briefly in Dame Prewet’s warm kitchen for a neighbourly chat before seeing Kit when the attention of both was caught by a commotion in the street outside. Milly rushed to the window in time to see a fine-looking nobleman, fair headed and dressed in serviceable riding clothes of russet wool and black velvet compass cloak, as he dismounted from his mud-splattered horse in front of the house. He was accompanied by two outriders and a young gentleman in blue venetians and doublet on a sorry specimen of a hack.

The nobleman and his companion consulted with each other briefly before the elder signalled to one of his servants to knock on the dame’s door.

‘Dame Prewet, what kind of company have you been keeping?’ exclaimed Milly.

The dame brushed her apron smooth, flustered by the visitors. ‘Not me, my dear. Must be acquaintances of one of my lodgers.’

Milly now noted the green livery of the servants and the familiar features in the boy’s face. ‘It has to be Kit’s family.’ She hugged herself in a mixture of delight and trepidation as the dame opened the door to her callers. Finally, Christopher was going to get the attention from his half-brothers that he deserved. Fate had been kind allowing her to be here to witness this – if she had missed this opportunity by arriving a few minutes later she would have simply died of frustrated curiosity.

‘Mistress Prewet?’ rumbled a deep voice. ‘My master, the Earl of Dorset enquires if Master Turner is at home.’

The dame was practically falling over her own feet to usher them in. ‘Of course, sir, bid your master to step inside if he be so kind as to enter my humble home.’ She flapped at Milly with her apron. ‘Run upstairs, Mistress Porter, if you would, and tell Master Turner to hurry. We mustn’t keep an earl waiting!’

Milly lifted the hem of her skirts to take the stairs two at a time and then thumped on Christopher’s chamber door. ‘Kit, Kit, make haste! Your brothers are here.’

Silence.

Was Christopher from home? Knowing his feelings on the subject of the Laceys he could well be halfway out the window.

Not waiting for an invitation, Milly threw the door open. She caught Christopher in the process of donning his shirt, head hidden in the folds of white linen. He yanked it down roughly, ripping the shoulder seam. Milly rushed forward to help him.

‘Leave it,’ growled Christopher, picking up his doublet.

‘Didn’t you hear me, Kit? The earl and the youngest one – Tobias, isn’t it? – are in the kitchen!’

‘I heard you. What are they to me?’

Milly tugged his doublet straight at the back to fasten the points to his trunk hose. ‘Don’t be so foolish. You have held your grudge against the Laceys for far too long. It was their father, not them, that failed you.’

‘Let me be the judge of that.’

Milly was tempted to wallop him one: he was far too set in his ways, casting himself as the beleaguered hero with the world against him. When the world showed signs of coming over to his side, his instinct was to grumble and run.

‘Well,’ she said tersely, fastening the last point, ‘they have journeyed all this way to see you; it is only polite for you to receive them this day.’

‘I’ll see them, for what good it will do.’ Christopher picked up his hat, reminding Milly of her errand.

‘Here.’ She pressed the new band into his cold fingers. ‘For you. With my thanks for going to Plymouth.’

His ridged features softened somewhat when he saw his initials – C. T. – embroidered with a flourish. ‘That is perfect.’ He put it on his velvet cap, making sure the decoration was prominently displayed. ‘I am a Turner, not a Lacey.’

Giving up on changing his attitude in the time available, Milly herded him from the room. She would be excited for him, even if he couldn’t muster the necessary enthusiasm. ‘Hie thee below, Master Turner: an earl awaits you!’

Christopher checked himself on the threshold to the kitchen, betraying his nervousness despite his careless attitude. Milly wanted to give him a hug but instinctively she knew he had retreated to a very lonely, private place, forged over years of rejection. She just wished he wouldn’t keep pushing everyone away, his charm a kind of armour – superficially shiny but made of steel nonetheless. Gathering his courage, he strode into the kitchen.

‘Good day, my masters.’ He bowed to the company, the sarcasm ringing. ‘To what do I owe this honour?’

The earl returned the bow with a nod. ‘Master Turner?’

‘Aye, my lord.’

‘My brother James wrote to me concerning your situation. Would you care to step apart with me so we can discuss our business in greater privacy?’

Christopher looked as if this were the last thing on earth he wanted. ‘Nay, sir, I have never made a secret of being a bastard get of your late father – both ladies present know the truth.’

Tobias Lacey coughed, amused by his older half-brother’s rudeness. ‘Tell it plain, why don’t you?’ he muttered.

The earl was still trying for diplomacy, though he clearly wished Milly and the dame banished. ‘In that case, I will continue. I regret most sincerely that you have been neglected since our father’s death.’

‘He was noted for his absence before then as well,’ Christopher cut in.

‘Indeed.’ The earl studied his new brother, trying to find the key to understand him. He rubbed the golden hairs on his chin thoughtfully, his clever blue eyes intense. ‘As soon as I heard of your existence, I enquired about the circumstances of your birth and later dealings with the estate. My father handed over the responsibility for sending your stipend to his steward. Unfortunately, Turville took it upon himself to terminate the arrangement on my father’s death. I admit the estate coffers were empty at the time, and he was acting from an over-zealous desire to protect me, but, even so, he was wrong to do this. At the very least, he should have consulted me and I would have made other arrangements for you.’

Christopher curled his lip. ‘Pray, what kind of arrangments? You would have sent me into the navy or dispatched me into the army? That’s what many great families do with their unwanted sons, isn’t it? I saw that you were quick enough to send your brother abroad when you had an heir.’

Expecting a difficult first meeting, the earl had clearly resolved beforehand not to lose his temper. ‘I think you mistake me, sir. James is desperately wanted by us all – he travels because we sincerely thought it for the best. A day does not pass without us praying for his safe return.’ The earl cleared his throat, emotion choking his voice. ‘As for you, sir, had you come to me, I would have desired to know you better and determined with you what profession you would like to follow. You are, first and foremost, our brother.’ He waited until the actor met his eyes. ‘You have a family if you want to claim it.’

Christopher clenched his fists on his hips to hide his tremors. He had played many parts on stage but this was one that he’d had no time to con. Milly’s heart broke for him as he appeared lost for words.

Fortunately, Tobias decided it was time to lighten the atmosphere. ‘Still, I’d understand if you didn’t want to acknowledge us. Will here can be a real killjoy – I’m always in trouble with him – and Jamie is simply no fun at the moment. I’d appreciate an actor for an older brother – think of all those free seats to the plays I’ll get! And those plays by Gascoigne, the soldier-poet, are real firecrackers from what I’ve heard – quite the funniest things ever seen on stage. I can’t wait to hear one.’

‘Tobias!’ growled the earl.

The young gentleman ignored him. ‘But I must be frank –’ Tobias pulled a wry face – ‘I only want you if you promise to take the attention off me by getting into deeper disgrace than I manage. I have hopes of you: the opportunities at the theatre must abound.’

Christopher smiled despite himself, quite disarmed by the lordling. Tobias had inherited a similar propensity to charm, but his was warmer, product of a sunnier disposition.

‘And what does your esteemed elder brother think of my profession?’ Christopher asked Tobias. ‘Will he demand me to separate myself from such infamy as price of your favour, think you?’

‘Lord, no!’ Tobias turned to the earl. ‘Come on, Will – you wouldn’t be such a fusty old bore and take such a line, would you?’

Will smiled and shook his head. ‘Master Turner’s choice of profession is his alone to make. I have no intention of forcing him to change for the sake of the family.’

Tobias suddenly grinned. ‘Of course you wouldn’t dare! Pot and kettle that would be.’ He swung round to Christopher. ‘He married Ellie two years ago despite ruining a brilliant chance of rebuilding our fortune with an advantageous match. He told the rest of the family to go shake their ears – it was the most splendid thing he’s ever done!’

‘I did not tell you any such thing!’ The earl gave his irrepressible brother a glare.

‘Yes, you did – according to Jamie.’

Giving up on that tack, the earl made an attempt to bring the conversation back on course. ‘You are drifting from the point, Tobias – and disclosing far too much information that should remain private.’

But the youngster, much to Milly’s delight, was not to be quelled. ‘Don’t mistake me, Kit – that’s if I may call you Kit?’

Bemused, Christopher gave a nod – what else could he do in the face of such candid eagerness?

‘Good. Kit then. Ellie – I mean the countess – is really the best thing to happen to Will and to Lacey Hall. You’ll like her when you meet her – she giggles most easily and is excellent fun. Little Wilkins is a bit of a bore at the moment – cries and spits up the whole time – but he’ll get better in a year or so.’

Tobias had obviously taken it as already agreed that Christopher would be welcomed into the Lacey fold. Milly knew her friend was not yet prepared to throw his lot in with them so soon. What would he do? He wouldn’t scorn them now, would he, and spoil the chance for reconciliation?

‘Wilkins?’ Christopher asked faintly.

‘My son. Your nephew.’ The earl’s face transformed with a broad smile. ‘He’s four months old. The countess would have come with us otherwise.’

‘Nothing would have stopped her,’ agreed Tobias.

The two Lacey brothers paused and looked to Christopher for his response to their olive branch.

Pick it up
, Milly urged him silently.

Christopher ran his fingers through his hair, crumpling his new hat in his other hand. ‘I admit, sirs, that your approach has taken me by surprise. I have not been used to attention from the Lacey family. I find it somewhat …’ he paused, searching for a word that was not outright offensive, ‘hard to trust.’

The earl nodded as if he quite understood. ‘Then let us prove ourselves with our constancy. You are welcome any time at any of my homes but you will find me most often in residence at Lacey Hall. I would offer to restore your stipend, but I anticipate that you may refuse?’

‘Aye, my lord.’ Christopher’s tone was now genuinely respectful. ‘I do quite well as I am.’

‘Even so, all of us need a helping hand from time to time. You have family now, Kit. Please remember that. And your sisters would like to meet you too – Lady Catherine and Lady Sarah.’ Sensing that he had achieved all that could be hoped from this one meeting, the earl turned to the dame and thanked her for her hospitality. ‘Come along, Tobias. We’ve business at court yet this day.’

Court! Milly realized that she had an opportunity to plead for help on Jane’s behalf. Then she recalled that there was no love lost between the earl and the girl who had jilted him. He might even think Jane’s marriage problems only her due – Jane had warned her that they had parted before an explanation could be made and, unless James had had time to tell his brother the truth, the earl was still thinking the worst of her. Taking a second too long to consider the advisability of making an appeal, Milly lost her chance as the Lacey party were taking their leave and out the door. Still, it was good to have the Laceys to go to if all else failed. She would have to give the matter more thought.

‘Well now, Master Turner, that’s a fine thing: an earl for a brother!’ exclaimed Dame Prewet, watching through the window as the party departed in the direction of the river. ‘I’ll have to double your rent.’

Christopher took his landlady’s teasing in good part. ‘You should halve it, madam – think of the honour I do your house, lodging my semi-noble carcass here.’

‘You’ll visit them?’ Milly asked, her mind still wondering if she had just missed a golden opportunity.

Christopher rubbed his forearms thoughtfully. ‘Mayhap. But not yet. I need time to adjust to their change of heart. Mine is not so mercurial.’

‘No, you’re plain stubborn.’ Milly sighed. ‘Give over your resistance, Kit. They are splendid people: take the gift that is being offered you.’

‘I’ll still be only a bastard.’

Milly shrugged. ‘Of course – and so is half of London. The earl wasn’t offering to make you one of his heirs – he was volunteering to be your brother. Poor man: he doesn’t know what he is letting himself in for – I’ve seen your bedchamber, remember?’

Christopher gave her the first carefree smile she’d seen on his face that day. ‘Oh, he knows. He’s got Tobias for a younger brother, hasn’t he?’