Authors: Kyion S. Roebuck
In only four months, everything had fallen apart, and I couldn’t understand why. I know that people’s parents get divorced all the time, but I was raised Catholic, and told that marriage was forever. Besides, it wasn’t like they were arguing a lot. They had just been planning to go away together, so I knew something had to have happened on Valentine’s Day, and whatever it was, it changed Mom.
When they first separated, Mom would cry a lot, and it hurt to see, because she was always so strong. I figured I would make things easier on her by being good, but no matter what I did, it was never enough. She said that my dad was too relaxed, and had not properly prepared me for the real world, so she was going to pick up the slack. She wanted me to get straight As, have the perfect diet, sleep only certain hours, ditch my friends and change my music. I tried to become who she wanted, but it made me feel like I was dying. I mean if a person changes everything that they are, are they even the same person? After asking myself that, I knew I could never become who she wanted, so I became depressed, and she sent me to see Dr. Cruson. I didn’t think it would work, but I did actually start to feel better for a little while.
Then one day, Mom’s phone started ringing, she looked at the caller ID, and her facial expression changed. I had never seen her look like that, so I took a step back. Without saying anything, she stalked off to her office and slammed the door. I figured something had gone wrong with a case, but then Sandy pushed the door back open, and I heard…”
“Kelly, you can’t keep him from me. He’s my son, too!” Robert could be heard crying and yelling through the phone.
“Then you should have fucking thought about that before you decided to ram Paul’s dick down your throat. You know, your technique was flawless. You should have given me pointers; it might have saved our marriage.”
“God damn it, Kelly! This isn’t about us. I know I fucked you over, and I’m sorry. I–”
“You’re sorry! You son of a bitch! You brought that bastard to my house, he sat at my dining table in me and my child’s presence, ate our food and drank our wine, yet all you have to say is you’re sorry!”
“Kelly, what do you want me to do! I’m sorry that all of that happened, but I can’t change it. Please, don’t punish me through Cody. It’s already been over a year. Please, I’m begging you, I need to see my boy.”
“Not happening, and if you keep harassing us, I
will
follow through. You should know I don’t make idle threats, Robert.”
“Cody, what did you hear?” Sister Mary Ava asked. She really was not interested in prying, but she had to do something to remove the haunted look from Cody’s face.
“I…” Cody muttered unintelligibly, and then closed his eyes. He then took a few deep breaths, before visibly gathering himself once more.
“I heard Mom and Dad arguing. Apparently, on the night she was supposed to surprise him, she walked into his classroom and saw him with the principal, Paul Redman… they were…”
“Cody, continue on, I can guess what Kelly saw,” Sister Mary Ava said with sadness in her voice.
“Yeah… she saw them, and then decided to get a divorce. She also decided to keep me away from him,” Cody said quietly, before anger and confusion showed in his eyes. “Nana, why would he do that? He had to know what would happen if someone found out. Did we mean so little to him? Were we really worth less to him than
that
!”
“Cody–”
“It doesn’t make sense, Nana. When I heard what happened, I was so mad. I wanted to yell at him, hit him, and mostly just tell him how I felt. Then, I realized I was never even given the option. Mom made the decision for me, and just rewrote Dad out of my life.
That
made me even more mad. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, so I texted Sean. He was always my voice of reason, and I needed to get away, so I started walking towards Ferndale. Normally, my walking wouldn’t have been a big deal, but I was distracted. I remember several cars blowing at me, but somehow I had managed to dodge them. Then finally I heard a horn, and it was loud and very close. After that, darkness.”
“Your mother told me that you had been struck by a truck.”
“I’m sure she also told you that I was in a coma for three weeks. That’s what everyone keeps saying, but it doesn’t add up. The accident occurred on May second, but the first day I remember waking up is November sixth. That’s over six months, but I supposedly woke up on May twenty-second. Well, where was I? There are pictures of me smiling, I have reports cards, graded assignments, and everything else showing that I was alive, but I remember nothing. You want to know what I remember? Darkness. While my body was off being alive, I was in the dark.”
Sister Mary Ava watched as sweat started forming on Cody’s brow, but the temperature of the room had not changed. She also noticed that his pupils were starting to dilate.
“Nana, I don’t know how to describe it. I remember feeling trapped. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t see, and I couldn’t breathe. It felt like I was buried alive. No, it was worse; I felt like I was trapped inside of a corpse. I tried to scream for help, but I couldn’t speak, and even when I did find my voice, no one ever came. All I could do was lie trapped in the darkness. Even death wouldn’t come. The darkness was just too powerful. My God, the darkness was always there. It wouldn’t leave me alone. Why? Why won’t it leave me alone?”
“Cody, there is no darkness, now. You are bathed in the light,” Sister Mary Ava said quickly as she tried to draw him out of his mental prison.
“It’ll be back. It always comes back. Every time I fall asleep it comes back, and no one can stop it,” Cody said while rocking. Sister Mary Ava was at a loss at what to do.
“Cody, you must be strong. You beat the darkness before, and you can beat it again.”
“I may be beating it now, but for how long will that last? How long will I have control of my body?”
“As long as you will it.”
At that, the rocking slowly subsided until only fine tremors coursed through Cody’s body. His mind was back in the present, but the thoughts from his recent episode were just beneath the surface. He knew that he needed to tell Sister Mary Ava everything before he lost himself.
“The day I woke up, I was determined to find proof of what I had heard. Somehow Mom was keeping Dad away, and since he wasn’t staying away willingly, I wanted to find out how she was doing it, so I searched her office. I found a large, brown envelope, and in it was a sheet of paper and pictures of Dad and Principal Redman. Based on what I heard from the conversation, and what I read in her office, when she caught them, she took pictures of them while they were…
She then showed the pictures to Dad, and told him that she would release them to the public if he tried to fight her request for full physical custody of me. Because Dad is a middle school teacher, and it happened in a classroom, he would have lost his job, and probably would have been labeled a pervert, too. If that had happened, I
know
Mom would have taken him to court, and requested full legal and physical custody. Dad always told me that Mom was a brilliant lawyer, and he never wanted to be on the opposite side of the aisle from her, so I guess he was too afraid to fight her.
I can’t really say that I blame him. Mom has always been like that. She’ll push you and lift you up with everything that she has, but you better not fail her. She expects perfection, and if you’re not perfect, she’ll make you disappear. She has already done that to Dad. Now, she’s doing it to me. If anything happens to me, Nana, give Sean my laptop and tell him to read my journal. It explains everything, and I don’t want him to always be wondering about me.”
“Cody, you judge your mother too harshly. The love between a husband and wife is very different from that of a mother and child. I do not agree with Kelly’s methods, but I know that she loves you. She may have abandoned her marriage, but she would never abandon you.”
“Then why have I been locked in this room and strapped to this bed since I came home?”
Sister Mary Ava had no rebuttal for that. She had been wondering the same thing since she arrived that morning.
“It’s okay, Nana; I’ve already accepted it. I’m going to die in here.”
“No, you’re not. Get up and put on some warm clothes. We’re going out.”
***
“Nana, where are we going?” Cody asked as he pulled his coat tighter, and then sprinted to catch up to the briskly walking woman.
“Out to get some fresh air. Is there a park nearby?”
“A park? Uh, the Cranbrook campus is about a mile out. It’s really impressive. That’s actually the school Mom first tried to send me to, but I knew that wasn’t happening with my grades.”
“I’ve heard about Cranbrook; I just never found the time to visit. By all means, lead the way.”
“Sure thing, Nana. Just follow me,” Cody said and then led them down a straight path, before taking many twists and turns between Quarton and Long Pine roads. The entire time Sister Mary Ava was watching for cars. Considering the boy had gotten struck before, she didn’t fully trust his navigational skills.
“I often come here to run. Because it’s so beautiful, I get distracted, and run longer than I normally would have,” Cody said once they finally reached the campus edge. Sister Mary Ava looked around, and easily understood how that could happen.
“I can’t believe I’ve lived in Michigan for all of these years, yet I have never been here. This place is magnificent.”
“Told you,” Cody said with a smile, and then practically drug the sister to all of his favorite spots.
“Kingswood Lake is over there, and the art museum is right there. Across that way is the house and gardens, but I think it’s closed right now. You should come back when the weather breaks. You’re not getting tired, are you?”
Sister Mary Ava looked at the boy, and warmed to see that much enthusiasm pouring from him. It was a great improvement over what she had seen back in his room.
“I am a little tired, but exercise is good at my age. Where to next?”
“How about we just hang out here on the lawn and people watch? There are some really strange folks around here. Then again, considering everything that’s happened, they should be watching me.”
Though she tried, Sister Mary Ava couldn’t stop herself from laughing. His brutal bluntness was one of the things that she loved about him.
“You hush up, and take in this view.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
With that said, they looked on in comfortable silence. Cody was enjoying the outside world he hadn’t remembered being a part of since his accident, while Sister Mary Ava was taking in her surroundings. The one thing that piqued her interest was a black Saab parked on the other side of the road. She had seen that car when they first left the house, had noticed it along their walk, and now it had stalled, just as they had. It had to be more than just a coincidence.
“Cody–” she began, but when she looked at him, he appeared to be in a frozen stupor. He also looked physically ill.
“Cody!” she yelled, and then shook him with force. As if the power had been turned back on, life returned to his eyes.
“Sorry, Nana. The darkness was trying to return,” he said, sounding as though he had run a marathon. “I was willing it away.”
“Good. In the meantime, let’s return home.”
***
Around thirty minutes after they made it back, Sister Mary Ava heard the doorbell ring. When she looked out the window, the black Saab was parked out front. Cautiously, she answered the door.
“Yes, may I help you?” she asked in a no nonsense manner.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Daniel Jacobs. I’m supposed to have a session with Cody Winters this afternoon.”
Sister Mary Ava glanced at the clock, and saw that it was only ten after two.
“You are quite early. Had you come sooner, we may not have been here, but I’m sure you already know that,” she said, not bothering to beat around the bush. Dr. Jacobs simply smiled.
“Yes, I do know that, because I was following you. I’m sorry if I gave you a scare. I merely like to observe my patients without them knowing of my presence to get a feel for how they truly are. Normally, people don’t notice me watching, so it was a bit of shock for you to notice me so easily,” he said, pleasantly. Still not enthused, but at least appeased, Sister Mary Ava stood aside to allow him into the house.
“He is in his room. I will take you to him,” she said and then guided him up the stairs. When she opened the door and Dr. Jacobs saw Cody tied to the bed, his face instantly shifted to one of horror and heartbreak. That won him a few points with Sister Mary Ava.
“This was actually his idea. His mother had him bound this morning, and I released him. Once this persona reemerged, however, he insisted that I restrain him again.”
“I don’t trust the other me, and he keeps fighting to get out,” Cody said calmly. At that, Dr. Jacobs mumbled something, and to Sister Mary Ava it sounded a lot like, “I’m sure he is.”
“Well, now that I’m here, there will be no need for that. Let’s get you untied,” Dr. Jacobs said as he rested a hand on the boy’s forehead. Cody immediately felt warm and pleasant. He liked this doctor.
“Okay.”