The Initiate Brother Duology (29 page)

Tesseko did not even know the reason for this journey. Of course, she had not dared ask—the Sisterhood did many things in secret—it was the place of a junior Acolyte to serve. But still she could not help but wonder. She had begun to observe Sister Morima carefully, yet all she could learn was that there was a certain Botahist Brother, the Spiritual Advisor to the great Lord Shonto, that Sister Morima seemed to be very interested in. She watched him secretly, and Acolyte Tesseko was certain she wrote her observations down in a cipher. It was all very mysterious and exciting, she thought.

She tried to imagine why Sister Morima watched this young monk. Was he secretly a spy for the Sisterhood, living in the midst of the aristocracy and privy to the secrets of the Botahist Brothers? She did not know. All she knew was the young Brother was thought very gifted—she had heard much in her short time aboard—and he had greeted her with respect when they had met by accident, in the small town where the fleet had stopped two days previously. He seemed most kind. That was all she knew.

Perhaps she expected too much; the honored Sister was not herself, with this sudden illness taking hold of her as it had. Sister Morima had had fevers and delirium in the night, Acolyte Tesseko knew, for she had been forced to listen to the Botahist nun in the darkness of their shared cabin. It had frightened her to hear the Sister rant. And she had said such things! (Glory to His name, eternal glory.) Well, she did not want to think about the things Sister Morima had said. She shuddered involuntarily, for Acolyte Tesseko had seldom heard blasphemy before and certainly not from the mouth of a senior Sister.

She removed the food from the coals and served it into porcelain bowls, which she set on a bamboo tray. (Glory of His words, their perfection, glory.) Crossing the deck she noticed a sailor watching her. Often, she had been told she was pretty, though she could not imagine why anyone would think that—her black hair was cropped short and her robe was shapeless and unflattering. It is wrong to think of such things, she told herself. (Glory of His vision, highest glory of His vision.)

The steps to the cabin were steep and difficult, but the training of the Sisterhood had given her suppleness and strength beyond that of most inhabitants of Wa. Not using even a hand for balance, she descended with ease. She tapped on the screen to their cabin, but there was no response. Sliding
the shoji quietly, she entered the darkened room. Sister Morima lay in a low bed, set against one wall. Tesseko could hear her labored breathing.

“Sister Morima?” Tesseko said as she crossed the room. But there was no response. She set the tray on a small, fixed table, and knelt beside the bed.

“Sister Morima?” she said again a bit louder, but still there was only the sound of the Sister’s breathing. She felt the nun’s brow and found it hot and clammy. Poor Sister Morima, she thought. It was then that she noticed that her superior was dressed in her outer robe, she could see her shoulder protruding from beneath covers. Has she been out of bed? Tesseko wondered. I should have been here to assist her.

The young Acolyte moved away, deciding to let the nun sleep, and was about to rise when something assailed her nostrils. She turned her head to each side, testing the air for the source of the odor. This cannot be, she thought. It seemed to come from under the low table. She bent down to look and could not believe the evidence of her eyes! There, pushed out of sight, was a plate, and on it the remains of a meal of
flesh!
Bones and pieces of disgusting fat. Acolyte Tesseko felt immediately ill.
May Botahara save her,
she thought, Sister Morima has eaten of the
flesh of an animal!
She turned and fled from the cabin.

*   *   *

The boatmen guided the sampan with deft strokes, moving it quickly against the canal’s current. Acolyte Tesseko sat in the prow watching the large junks and river barges as the sampan glided past them. It was another fine day in what seemed like an endless autumn. She breathed the spiced air in careful rhythm, as her instructors had taught her, forcing a calm over her body and mind. Acolyte Tesseko had been distraught, almost in a panic, since her discovery of the day before. Now she felt closer to being at peace. She was aware of the slight time-stretch that the Sisters spoke of, felt the chi-flow in her body. She wondered again if it was true that the Brothers had mastered their sense of subjective time?

This brought her back to the reason that she was aboard the sampan and shook the feeling of confidence she was trying to create, for the truth was, she was not sure that what she was about to do was correct. But were they not both followers of the Great Way? She could not believe that this young monk, Lord Shonto’s Spiritual Advisor, was evil, as the Sisters said all Brothers were. Her instincts had told her immediately that he was good, a follower of the True Faith. Some of the Sisters believed that this strife between
the Sisterhood and the Brotherhood went against the teaching of Botahara, for the struggle was centered on power, and the followers of Botahara renounced all claim to power as they renounced property and the desires of the flesh.

The desires of the flesh, well, she must not think of those. (Glory to the Seven Paths, glory.)

If what these Sisters believed was true, then it would be correct for her to speak with this Brother—whose name, she must remember, was Shuyun.

And besides, Tesseko realized, there was no one else she could discuss her problem with. Who else was there who understood the divine secrets of the human body? Sister Morima, in her few lucid moments, absolutely refused to be taken off the junk (they must get to Seh!) and there were no other Botahist Sisters in the flotilla. What I do is correct. In my soul I do not doubt.

They came abreast of the Imperial Governor’s barge and Acolyte Tesseko was allowed to wait on the boarding platform while a guard went to find Shonto’s steward.

It took only a moment for the guard to return, accompanied by a one-armed old man. He bowed to her formally.

“I am Kamu, Steward of Lord Shonto Motoru. Excuse our precautions, Sister, but is it true that you wish to see Lord Shonto’s Spiritual Advisor?” He said this calmly, as though he were merely verifying information. He showed no surprise at the request.

“Please, Steward Kamu, it is most important.”

He said nothing for a few seconds but then asked, “May I tell Shuyun-sum the reason that you wish to see him?” When he saw the pained expression on her face he raised his hand. “I will speak with him.” He disappeared onto the deck and left Tesseko in the company of the Shonto guards who, though stationed to watch her, seemed to be staring off at something in the distance, as was only polite.

A moment later Kamu reappeared. “Please, Sister, would you come with me?” He gave the guards a hand signal that the nun memorized. She would report it to her superiors. They recorded these things and, over a period of years could sometimes break a family’s code altogether.

She crossed the deck in Kamu’s wake and followed him to the bow. Out of a hatch emerged the monk she had spoken to in the town. He nodded to Kamu, who bowed respectfully.

“Acolyte Tesseko, I am honored that you visit me. Perhaps this is a sign of what will happen in the future between our faiths.” He bowed politely and she returned his gesture.

“Perhaps, Brother Shuyun, though I must tell you that I am here on my own initiative, not on behalf of my Order.”

Shuyun nodded and motioned to the bow area where they could speak in privacy. He leaned against the low rail and regarded the Acolyte. She was fine of form, he thought, and tall. Under the flat, conical hat, her eyes were guarded, she seemed to be suppressing agitation. She had not yet mastered the technique that would allow her to do this, for he could see tension there, in the tightening of the skin around the eyes and the redness of the tear ducts.

“Would you care for cha, Acolyte Tesseko?” he asked, following the etiquette of the situation.

“It is kind of you to offer, Brother, but I have other duties and can only speak with you briefly.”

He sensed the urgency in her voice. “Perhaps it would be best if we did away with formality, and spoke openly, Acolyte Tesseko.”

“I agree, that would be best.” She took a breath in preparation but could not begin the speech she had rehearsed. Suddenly, she wondered if what she was doing was right.

“If it will make it easier, Acolyte Tesseko, I will swear by the Perfect Master that your words will not go beyond me.”

She nodded. “I have come for advice, Brother, medical advice. I travel with a senior Sister who is very ill. I have not seen these symptoms before, Brother, I am most distressed.”

“She would not consent to see me?”

“No, it is out of the question.” She put a hand to the rail and turned to stare off across the canal.

“Can you describe these symptoms, Acolyte?”

“She is fevered, often at night. But in the day she seems distant, as though she were in the grip of fever, yet she is not. She eats, some days, in excess, while other days she cannot bear the sight of food. All of her behavior is uncharacteristic. I am not sure what should be done, Brother.”

“It is unfortunate that she will not see me. Is there anything else you can tell me.”

Tesseko looked off into the distance again, watching a swallow play with
a feather. The tension around her eyes increased, and Shuyun wondered if she would be able to go on.

“There are other things…Brother. She speaks in her deliriums. She frightens me.”

“Frightens you, Acolyte?”

“She says things that—it is only her illness—but these things endanger her spirit. They must. And Sister Morima is such an enlightened woman.”

Sister Morima!
Shuyun remembered her—the large nun in the Supreme Master’s audience hall. (“Have you learned to stop the sand, Initiate?”) Yes, he knew her, knew that she had been selected to witness the Ceremony of Divine Renewal.

“Tell me of these things, Acolyte, it may be important.”

“I…I cannot repeat them, Brother, they are
blasphemous.
”

“Can you tell me something of their nature without repeating them, Acolyte?”

“She speaks of the Word of Lord Botahara, the actual written Word.”

“I know that she attended the Ceremony of Divine Renewal, Acolyte Tesseko.”

She nodded but continued to look away. “She says—she seems to say that the words of Botahara are not his words.”

“She seems to say this? What do you mean.”

“Over and over she repeats,” the Acolyte half covered her mouth with her hand,
“‘lies! all that we have learned is lies!’”
Tesseko closed her eyes tightly for a moment. “There is more. Sometimes in the darkness she yells:
‘These are not the words of truth! These are not our Lord’s words!’
I cannot say any more. I am most concerned, Brother.”

“Yes,” Shuyun said, and it was almost a whisper. She had started now, she would not stop until she had told all.

“When she eats, she gorges herself, entirely without discipline, and sometimes—I don’t know where she gets it—she eats
flesh,
Brother!”

She covered her face completely now. Her shoulders shook, but there were no sobs. Shuyun let her cry, he had no experience in comforting women, and he was afraid anything he said would cause her embarrassment. The monk did not show the shock that he felt.
A Sister eating the flesh of animals!
It said so much. He felt a deep sense of revulsion.

Acolyte Tesseko regained her self-possession, though her hands still shook
and she tried to hide them. “Pardon me, Brother, I do not deserve your respect after this display of weakness.”

“Please, do not think of yourself this way. It must be difficult to see a Sister behaving in this manner. I am honored that you would choose to come to me with this. You must feel no shame.

“What you have described to me, Acolyte Tesseko, I have heard of before. I believe that Sister Morima suffers a crisis of the spirit. Her apparent illness is only a reflection of her inner sufferings. Why this is . . ?” he shrugged, “It seems to be connected with seeing the scrolls of Botahara. Perhaps she was not properly prepared for such an experience.

“You must not leave her, Acolyte, but word must be sent to your Order. They must know as soon as it can be arranged—a messenger tomorrow at the next stop. Do you have a cipher?”

Tesseko nodded.

“Good. Keep this as secret as possible. And you must stop her from eating flesh! Shame her if you must. Tell her everyone aboard speaks of it as scandal. It may well be the truth.

“Tell me what herbs you have given her.” He saw how she hesitated. “It does not matter. I will tell you what I would treat her with and you may make a decision from that knowledge. In all likelihood what you have given her would be the same. Root of menta, steamed not boiled, mixed with tomal. Every fourth hour will be often enough. But it would be even better if you could convince her to meditate and to do chi exercises. How far north do you travel, Acolyte Tesseko?”

Again she hesitated, which he found strange. “We go to Seh, Brother.”

“Then perhaps you should send a message ahead also. Your Sisters will know what to do, I would not fear. If you need to speak with me again, I will leave word with the guard to allow you through.”

Tesseko bowed to him, formally. “I am indebted to you, Brother. I must return to Sister Morima now.” She turned to go but stopped and smiled at him over her shoulder. “I thank you for your counsel, Brother Shuyun, it has been an honor meeting you.”

He watched her go, a tall young woman in the yellow robe of the Botahist Sisters. He tried to make his mind address this new information but he could not.

The Scrolls,
he thought.
The Scrolls of our Lord! The Sacred Scrolls.

All of his years of training, and yet his mind refused to focus.