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Authors: Irene Hannon

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BOOK: The Heart Remembers
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He followed her lead, grateful she hadn't taken offense at his rash question. “I'm interviewing this afternoon at the Maine Maritime Academy.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “For a job?”

“Yes. To make a long story short, I'm leaving the navy and Dad is coming to live with me.”

“What about your mom?”

“She died five years ago.”

“Oh.” Her face looked suddenly stricken, and he reached across and laid his hand over hers. Maggie had always gotten along well with his parents. They'd held a special place in her heart, especially after her own parents died.

“It was a shock to all of us.” Jake felt the heat of her fingers beneath his. “She had a stroke about five years ago. She lived for about six months after that,
and Dad took care of her at home. That's where she wanted to be. Mom was a great believer in families taking care of their own. In fact, before she died, she made Rob and me promise that if Dad ever got to the point where he couldn't live alone, one of us would take him in rather than relegate him to a retirement or nursing home.”

“And he isn't able to live alone now?”

“No. He had a heart attack about eight months ago and went down to stay with Rob and his family in Atlanta while he recovered. Except that he never did recover very well. He's gotten pretty frail and a little forgetful, and Rob and I finally realized he couldn't ever go home. Rob was happy to have Dad live with them—the kids love having their grandpa around—but three weeks ago he lost his job in a corporate downsizing. So Jenny, Rob's wife, had to go back to work. With three kids and lots of uncertainties, life has been pretty stressful for them. And they can't give Dad the attention he needs. So the younger son—that would be me—was called in to pinch-hit. That's why I'm here.”

“You mean you're giving up your navy career to take care of your dad?”

Jake dismissed the implied sacrifice with a shrug. “I never intended to spend my life in the service. And even though it was a good life in many ways, I have to admit I'm getting a little tired of
being a nomad. The idea of settling down in one place is beginning to appeal to me. Rob may be having some career problems at the moment, but I'm starting to envy his life—the wife, the kids, the picket fence.”

“So you've been…alone all these years?”

“I never married, either, Maggie.”

A strange feeling of lightness swept over her, but she ignored it and focused on a less volatile topic. “So how does your dad feel about this move?”

Jake's face grew troubled. “Not happy, I'm afraid. You know how independent Dad always was. He hasn't taken kindly to having to rely on his kids to take care of him. Rob says it wasn't too bad at first, when Dad thought he'd eventually be able to go home. But since we decided that's not an option, he's been pretty despondent. He knows we're right, but that hasn't made it any easier for him to accept. And it's even worse now that he realizes he'll be stuck with me instead of Rob, at least for a while.”

Jake's last comment had been made lightly, but Maggie suspected his tone masked deeper feelings. She knew his parents hadn't been happy when he'd walked out on her. They'd apologized on his behalf more times than she could count. But surely, after all these years, his father didn't still hold a grudge
against his son on her behalf. There had to be more to their troubled relationship than that.

“I take it you and your dad don't get along that well.” She chose her words with care.

Jake gave a short, mirthless laugh. “You might say that. As I'm sure you know, Dad was very disappointed in me after I…after we broke up. And he didn't hold back his feelings on the subject, either. So I made fewer trips home, which only seemed to fuel the fire. I did go home more often after Mom's stroke, but not enough to suit Dad. He figured I'd abandoned them, too, I guess.”

Maggie looked at him in surprise. Abandoned them, too? That was an incriminating word choice. Did it mean he regretted his decision twelve years ago to break up with her? Had guilt followed him all these years as he roamed around the world? She'd never considered that. She figured once he'd made his decision he'd gone on with his life, that eventually memories of her and their time together had faded. But his words implied otherwise.

“Anyway, like it or not, we're stuck with each other,” Jake continued. “And I'm determined to make the best of it. In fact, to be perfectly honest, I hope we can mend the rift between us. Dad and I used to be close, and…well, I've missed that all these years.”

Once again, Maggie was taken aback by Jake's
admission. He'd never been the kind of man who talked much about feelings. Maybe the willingness to do so had come with maturity. Once you felt comfortable with your life and had proven your abilities, it was easier to admit other limitations without feeling threatened. Jake struck her as being a very secure man in most aspects of his life. Confident and in control. Yet he'd been unable to reestablish a good relationship with his father. And he wasn't too proud to admit it.

“Well, the opportunity will certainly be there now.” Maggie tried to be encouraging. “I'm sure your dad will come around.”

“I'm not so sure. But I have to try at least. Rob has his hands full, and we can't go back on our promise to Mom. Besides, Rob's done more than his share with Dad since Mom died. It's only right I take my turn.”

Maggie stared at Jake. The man was full of surprises. Through the years she'd convinced herself he was a self-centered, spoiled, irresponsible man who had probably grown even more so with age. But the decisions he'd made regarding his father, his acceptance of his duty, his willingness to honor the promise to his mother at the expense of his career, weren't the actions of a selfish man. They spoke of integrity and principle and dependability. Maggie had to admit that his behavior was
admirable. But it was a grudging admission, and not one she had any intention of verbalizing.

“Excuse me, but there's a call for you, Mr. West.” Abby paused beside the table, her gaze blatantly curious as it moved from Jake to Maggie. “A man named Dennis Richards.”

Jake frowned and checked his cell. “My battery was low, I guess it gave out. I told him I was here in case it died. He must not have been able to switch the time for the first interview after all. Will you wait, Maggie? I'll be right back.”

“Yes.”

“You can take the call on the phone in the foyer, at the desk.” Abby motioned toward the entrance.

She watched Jake leave, then turned to Maggie, her eyes shining. “Were you really engaged to him once?”

Maggie glanced in the direction Jake had disappeared and nodded. “It's a long story, honey. And it happened a long time ago.”

“But he's back now,” Abby pointed out eagerly. “Who knows? Maybe—”

“Maybe we should try not to let our imaginations run away with us.” Maggie cut off her niece's fanciful speculations.

“But what's he doing here?”

“He's on his way to Castine. He's considering a job at the Maritime Academy.”

“You mean he might be living less than twenty miles away?” Abby was clearly elated.

“Maybe.”

“Wow! Wait till I tell Allison!”

Before Maggie could respond, Abby turned on her heel and disappeared into the kitchen. Maggie shook her head, then propped her chin on her hand, as she considered the situation.

Jake had reappeared in her life after twelve years. “Shock” didn't begin to describe her reaction. But somehow she'd made it through the last half hour or so. Even if it had taken every ounce of her willpower and fortitude to act as if his presence hadn't been a jolting experience that left her reeling.

She'd succeeded, though, and congratulated herself for that. But a thirty-minute encounter was one thing. How on earth would she cope if the man lived just down the road? If she knew every time she went out that she might run into him—at the grocery store, on the street, in the park? The thought unnerved her.

What unnerved her even more, however, was the realization that the man still had the
power
to unnerve her. She resented that. After all, he was nothing to her anymore. Her life was full and rich
as it was. She had two loving “daughters,” an artistic talent that gave her great joy and a satisfying career that continued to sustain her. What more could she ask for?

But there was more, as Maggie well knew. Though she'd long ago reconciled herself to the fact that the single life seemed to be for her, deep in her heart she still yearned for someone to share it with. Having once loved deeply, she knew what joy love could bring. She didn't think about it often, though. Idle wishing was fruitless. But seeing Jake again had reawakened those yearnings, made her recall the heady feeling of being in love.

Her lips curved up into a wistful smile as she thought back. It had been a wonderful time, those days of awakening emotions and eager plans for a future together, when the world stretched before them, infinite in its possibilities. How differently her life would have turned out if those plans had come to fruition. But there had been another future in store for her. And she shouldn't complain. Her life had been rewarding in many ways.

“It looks like I'll have to leave sooner than I wanted to.” Jake's regretful voice interrupted her reverie.

“I understand.”

“Listen, Maggie, I'd like to continue our con
versation. We barely got started. Can I call you tomorrow?”

She hesitated. “I'm not sure that's a good idea.”

Silence stretched between them for a moment. “You've been kinder to me already than I have any right to expect.” His voice was quiet. Resigned. “You probably still hate me, and I can't say I blame you.”

“I never hated you, Jake. I was just…hurt. But I got over that a long time ago.”

He looked at her, as if he wanted to believe that was true but found it difficult to accept. “Then why won't you talk to me?”

Because I'm scared. Because I feel like a tight-rope walker who's about to lose her balance. And I don't want to fall, Jake. Not again. Not ever again.

But her spoken words were different. “It's very busy this time of year. I just don't have the time to socialize.”

“How about a phone call, then? You can spare a few minutes for that, can't you?”

They both knew she could. And Maggie didn't want to give Jake the impression that she still held a grudge. That would make her seem small and unforgiving.

“All right. Give me a call when you have a few minutes.”

She was rewarded with a smile so warm it felt like sunshine on a lazy summer day. “Thank you, Maggie. I appreciate it. I've already taken care of my bill and loaded my car, so I'll say goodbye for now.” He stood up and held out his hand. She had no choice but to take it, trying to still the rapid beating of her heart as her fingers were engulfed in his firm, warm grip.

“I know this encounter has been unsettling for you. And I'm sorry for that. I never want to upset you again. But I'm not sorry our paths crossed. I think it happened for a reason.”

Maggie didn't respond. She couldn't.

Jake held her gaze a moment longer, then released it—as well as her hand. “I'll call you soon.” With that, he turned and strode away.

Maggie sank back into her chair, his words echoing in her mind. He'd said he thought their paths had crossed for a reason. She couldn't dispute that. It was too odd a coincidence to accept at face value. He'd also said he was glad it had happened.

On that point she disagreed.

Because now that Jake had walked back into her life, she somehow knew it would never be the same again.

Chapter Three

“E
arth to Maggie, earth to Maggie. Are you with me over there?”

Maggie sent Philip an apologetic look across the table they were sharing at the outdoor café. “Sorry about that.”

“No problem. So what if you don't find my company fascinating? Why should I be insulted?”

Maggie grinned at his good-natured teasing. “You're a good sport, you know that?”

“So I've been told. What gives?”

She shifted in her seat. “What do you mean?”

“Maggie, I've known you for what…seven, eight years? In all that time I've never once seen you distracted. So I figure something's happened—something pretty dramatic. Therefore, I repeat…what gives?”

Maggie looked down and played with her fork.
She should have known she couldn't hide her inner turmoil from Philip. He was way too perceptive. And maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to tell him about Jake. Philip had been a trusted friend and firm supporter for years. Without his encouragement, she might never have taken up serious painting again. Even now he had several of her pieces displayed in his gallery. He'd been a good sounding board through the years, too. A widower with two grown daughters, he'd offered her valuable advice about the girls on numerous occasions. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to run this situation by him, get his take on it.

“Okay, you win. Something pretty dramatic did happen today.”

He tilted his head as her regarded her. “I can't say you look unhappy exactly. It must not be anything too terrible.”

“I'm not so sure about that.” She stirred her iced tea and took a deep breath. “You remember I mentioned once that years ago I was engaged?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Well…Jake—that was his name—he…he stayed at the inn last night.”

Philip frowned. “You mean he came to see you?”

“No, nothing like that. He got caught in the fog and just happened to stop at our place. Allison
checked him in. I didn't even know he was there until this morning at breakfast, when the girls kept talking about this…this nice-looking man who'd checked in. It turned out to be Jake.”

Philip stared at her. “That must have been a terrible shock.”

Maggie gave a short, mirthless laugh. “That's putting it mildly. I've been off balance ever since it happened. Which is odd, since my relationship with him was over long ago. I can't figure out why his reappearance has disturbed me so much.”

Philip studied her for a moment. “It does seem strange. After all, whatever you two shared is history, right?”

“Right.”

“And it isn't as if he even means anything to you anymore, right?”

“Right.” A hint of uncertainty crept into her voice.

“What was he doing here, anyway?”

“He's interviewing for a job at the Maritime Academy.”

“You mean he might move up here?”

“Yes. And that makes me even more nervous. Which is ridiculous, because we're no more than strangers to each other now.”

“It's probably just the shock of seeing him.”
Philip took a sip of his iced tea. “Where has he lived all these years?”

“All over, I guess. He's been in the navy. I think he still would be if it wasn't for his father.” Maggie gave him a short version of the story.

“Hmm.” That was his only comment when she finished.

Maggie sent him a quizzical look. “What's that supposed to mean?”

He lifted one shoulder. “I guess I'm a little surprised. And impressed. Not many people would give up their career, start over, change their whole life to keep a promise made under duress. He sounds like an honorable man.”

Maggie frowned. “Yes, he does. And it's so at odds with the image I've had of him all these years.”

“People do change.”

“I suppose so. I just wish I didn't feel so off balance.”

“Things will work out. They always do. You've successfully weathered a lot of storms through the years, and you'll ride this one out, too. I know. And I'm always here if you need a sympathetic ear. Don't forget that.” He touched her hand lightly and smiled, then switched gears. “In the meantime…when do I get a preview of the new painting?”

“Will next week be okay?”

“Perfect. I'll reserve a spot right near the front for it. You know, you have a large enough body of work now to consider your own show.”

Maggie grimaced. “I just don't feel…well…good enough…to have an official show.”

“Why don't you let me be the judge of that? Besides, you'll never know till you try. It's not like you to back off from a challenge.”

“I know. But my painting is so…personal. If I got bad reviews it would be devastating. I'm not sure I'm ready to face that.”

“First of all, they wouldn't be bad. And second of all, you can face anything, Maggie Fitzgerald. Because you are one of the strongest women I know.”

Maggie wanted to believe him. As recently as yesterday she might have. But a lot had happened since then. And at this particular moment, she didn't feel very strong at all—thanks to one very unforgettable man named Jake West.

 

“Jake called twice. Will call again tomorrow.”

Maggie's heart leapt to her throat as she read the note on the kitchen counter. She should have figured he'd call while she was out. She hoped the girls had explained where she was. She didn't want him to think she was trying to avoid him. It was just that she led a very busy life. Her days—and evenings—were filled. Like tonight. The zoning
board meeting had run far later than she expected because of some heated discussion. And she still had a few breakfast preparations to make, even if it was—she glanced at her watch and groaned—ten-thirty. There always seemed to be too much to do and not enough time.

As Maggie set about assembling the egg and cheese casseroles that were tomorrow's breakfast entrée, she reflected on the hectic pace of her life. For most people, simply running an inn and raising twins would be a full-time job. But she had made other commitments, as well. Like serving on the church council. And on the zoning board. Not to mention the watercolors she did for the greeting card company and, in recent years, pursuit of more serious art in her limited “spare” time. Why did she take so much on? Could it be that she wanted to keep herself too busy to dwell on the one thing that was lacking in her life?

With an impatient shake of her head, Maggie beat the eggs even harder. She didn't usually waste time trying to analyze her life choices. If some of them were coping mechanisms, so be it. They worked, and that was all that mattered. Or they'd worked up until today, she amended. Jake's reappearance had changed everything and, much to her surprise, rattled her big time.

But what surprised her even more was the fact
that when she looked at him, it wasn't the hurt she remembered, but the intense, heady joy of being in love. In some ways, it would almost be easier to remember the pain. Because that had no appeal. Love, however, was a different story. That had a whole lot of appeal. It was just that the opportunity had never come along again. And it wasn't here
now,
she reminded herself as she slid the casseroles into the refrigerator. Jake had had his chance. She wasn't about to give him another.

 

Abby looked up from her seat in a wicker chair on the porch and grinned as she saw Jake stride up the path.

“Did you come to see Aunt Maggie?” She laid her book aside.

“Please don't tell me I missed her again?” He'd been trying for the past two days to reach her, and the frustration was evident in his voice. If every minute of his stay in Castine hadn't been packed, he would have simply driven over and planted himself in her drawing room until she had time to talk to him. But he knew one thing for sure. He wasn't leaving Blue Hill until he saw her again, even if that meant tracking her down wherever she might be now.

“Don't worry, you didn't. She's in the studio.”

The tension in his shoulders eased, and he smiled. “Where's the studio?”

“It's the little room off the kitchen.”

“Would it be all right if I go back?”

“Sure. Aunt Maggie won't mind.” Abby ignored the worried look Allison sent her way as her sister stepped outside. “It's just down the hall and through the door at the end.”

“Thanks.” Jake turned to find Allison in the doorway.

“Hello, Mr. West,” Allison greeted him.

Jake grinned at her. “No one's called me ‘Mr.' in years. Just Lieutenant. And both of those sound too formal now. So how about we just make it Jake?”

Allison smiled. “Okay.”

“Good. I'll see you ladies later.”

Allison watched him disappear, then turned to her sister with a worried frown. “Why did you send him back there? You know Aunt Maggie said never interrupt her when she's painting, unless it's an emergency.”

Abby gave her sister a condescending look. “Allison, Aunt Maggie's love life
is
an emergency.”

Allison clamped her lips shut. How could she argue with Abby—especially when her sister was right?

 

Maggie tilted her head and frowned. She wanted the seascape to convey restlessness, inner turbulence, the sense of impending fury. But she wasn't
quite there yet. Considering her firsthand knowledge of the ocean, and given that her own emotional state paralleled the scene she was trying to paint today, it ought to be easy to transfer those feelings to canvas. But the mood was eluding her, and that was frustrating.

A firm tap sounded on the door, and Maggie glanced toward it in annoyance. Why were the twins bothering her? They were old enough now to handle most of the so-called crises that occurred at the inn. Unless there truly was an emergency of some kind. A tingle of alarm raced up her spine, and she reached for a rag to wipe her brush, psyching herself up to deal with a crisis. “Come in.”

The “crisis” that appeared when the door swung open was
not
one she was prepared for, however. What on earth was Jake doing here, in her private retreat? She stared at him in surprise as her heart kicked into double time. Try as she might, she couldn't control the faint flush that crept onto her cheeks, or stop the sudden tremble that rippled over her hands.

Jake smiled. “Abby said I could come back. I hope you don't mind. But I'm on my way back to Boston, and this was my last chance to see you before I left. We didn't seem to have much success connecting by phone.”

“Y-yes, I know.” Why did her voice sound so
shaky? “Sorry about that. I was at a zoning board meeting the first night you called, and running errands the other times.” That was better. Steadier and more in control.

“So the girls told me.” He propped one shoulder against the door frame and folded his arms across his chest. “You continue to amaze me, Maggie. I don't remember that you ever had any interest in politics or government, local or otherwise, and now you're on the zoning board?”

She set the brush down and reached for a different rag to wipe her hands on, using that as an excuse to escape his warm, disquieting gaze. “Well, I'm part of the business community of this town. It's my home. I feel a certain sense of responsibility to do my part to make sure Blue Hill retains the qualities that attracted me in the first place.”

“Once again, I'm impressed.”

“Don't be. A lot of people do a whole lot more than me.”

He didn't agree, but rather than debate the point, he strolled into the studio, his gaze assessing. It was a small room, illuminated by the light from a large picture window on one side. Unlike his image of the stereotypical messy artist's studio, however, this one was neat and orderly. A couple of canvases in various stages of completion stood
on easels, and several other finished works were stacked against one wall.

But what captured his attention most were the posters. Vienna. Florence. Rome. Paris. London. Athens. As his gaze moved from one to another, he realized that these were the places he and Maggie had planned to visit together. And he realized something else, as well. He'd seen most of them, while Maggie had been confined to rural Maine, coping with responsibilities that, even now, her slender shoulders seemed too fragile to bear. His dream of travel had become reality; hers had remained a dream.

He looked down at her slim form silhouetted against the window, the sun forming a halo around her hair, and his throat tightened. He wished with all his heart that he could take her to all the exotic places pictured on her walls. She would love them, would be as awed as he had been on his first visit. But maybe she'd managed to see one or two. He hoped.

He nodded toward the walls. “Nice posters. Are any of them souvenirs?”

She gave him a wry smile and shook her head, dashing his hopes. “Hardly. B&B owners may cater to travelers, but they do very little traveling themselves. Especially with two girls to raise. I've stayed pretty close to home all these years.
I expect you've made it to some, or all, of these spots, though.”

He nodded, trying to stem the surge of guilt that swept over him. “Yes.”

“Are they as wonderful as we…as people say?” The slight wistful note in her voice produced an almost physical ache in his heart.

“Mmm-hmm.” He cleared his throat, but still the huskiness in his voice remained. “I'm sorry you never got to see them, Maggie.”

“Oh, but I will.” The smile she gave him was luminous. “I'm going to Europe right after Christmas. I decided what with the twins going away to college this fall on scholarships, it was time I started a new phase of my life, as well. I'm going to close the B&B for four months and visit all the museums and take some art classes and just soak up the ambiance. It should be wonderful!”

The sudden spark of enthusiasm in her eyes lit up her face, giving it a glow that warmed his heart. “That sounds great. I know you'll enjoy it, especially with your art background.” He nodded toward the canvases stacked around the room. “I guess I never realized just how talented you are. I remember you sketching, but not painting. I don't know that much about art, but these look very impressive to me.”

BOOK: The Heart Remembers
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