The First Last Kiss (21 page)

‘Um, well, around here actually.’

I frown. ‘But we practically know everyone here.’ I look at her. ‘Do I know him?’

Casey doesn’t say anything. She just gazes away in the opposite direction.

‘What’s his name? Casey?’ I try and turn her face to look at me but she looks up at the sky instead.

‘Oh, look Molly! At the stars! Up there! Wow, aren’t they pretty and sparkly, you know, like diamonds.’

‘Casey . . . ’ I interrupt.

‘Oh OK,’ she sighs and looks at me uncertainly. ‘It’s Paul Evans.’

It takes a second for his name to register.

‘What?’ I gasp. ‘As in the
married
plumber with
two kids
Paul Evans?’

‘Yes,’ she replies before adding defensively. ‘And OK, so he’s married, but they’ve not been happy for ages. Years actually. And he says he’s going to leave her.’

I roll my eyes and pull out another cigarette.

‘Don’t pull that disapproving face on me, Moll,’ Casey grumbles, ‘you look just like your mum. And don’t judge until you’ve seen us together either. You should see how he looks at me.’

‘I can imagine,’ I reply drily.

I throw my arm around her. My sweet, beautiful, naive, desperate-to-be-loved friend.

‘Just be careful, Case, I don’t want you getting hurt again. You know you have a habit of going for the wrong type.’

‘I can’t help it that I go for older guys, I prefer them to be mature, you know? I would’ve told you sooner,’ she garbles as her long-held secret tumbles out, ‘but I just knew you wouldn’t approve. You slag off anything to do with Leigh these days – even more than you used to!’

‘I’ve just moved on.’

‘Moved on from me,’ Casey mumbles.

My face drops in horror and I throw my arm around her and squeeze her tightly. ‘Don’t be silly, Case!’ I say, wishing I were better at all this reassuring stuff.

‘I miss you, you know, Molly,’ Casey says quietly.

I clutch her hand, feeling guilty that so many weeks have passed without my calling her, let alone coming to see her. ‘Me too. And I’m happy for you, Case, I am. But remember, I’m your best friend, so as far as I’m concerned no man is
ever
going to be good enough for you.’

‘I didn’t say he was Mr Right, but he’s Mr Better Than Nothing, OK? Besides,’ she continues, ‘I need something to fill in all the spare time I have now you’re at
uni
being a boring
student
and
studying
all the time, with your clever new
friends
. . . ’

Casey looks over her shoulder at me and smiles and I know she’s just joking. She can never stay mad or hold grudges for long. It’s one of the things I love about her and one of the many reasons we’re so different. ‘And he’s not how you remember anyway, Moll!’ she says pleadingly. ‘Yes, he’s a grown-up, but so am I now. So are we. I mean, you’re not the girl who ran out of The Grand after Ryan Cooper snogged you.’

‘Thank God for that!’ I laugh.

A figure looms out of the boat’s shadows. ‘Thank God for what?’

Casey scrambles to her feet. ‘Ryan! I–I, er, didn’t know you’d be coming tonight!’

I glance at him and away dismissively. I’m shaken but not surprised by his appearance, it’s just another reminder of why I moved away from this place. Nothing’s changed, same people, different year.

‘What a surprise!’ Casey exclaims in the worst case of overacting I’ve ever seen. ‘Is Alex here too? And the others? Gaz and Carl and Jake? Ooh, there they are! She waves at them and then stands staring pointedly at Ryan. I’m not sure what she’s waiting for. Ryan smiles down at me and then looks back at his mates.

‘Hey, Case.’

‘Yeah, Ryan?’ she simpers. I roll my eyes.

‘Alex really wanted to talk to you I think.’ And before I can blink, let alone tell her to stay right here, she’s off.

‘Casey!’ I call, but she doesn’t look back. I look up at Ryan. I’d forgotten how tall he is. And broad. In the couple of years since I last saw him, he’s bulked up. He has proper yachting arms, ripped and strong, which he’s showing off by wearing a vest top. His skin is nut-brown and his mid-nineties curtains have been replaced with a gelled David Beckham style. I can’t deny it. He’s still pretty hot. But, I tell myself firmly, I much prefer boys with brains bigger than their biceps, who know more about art and culture than who’s on top of the football league.

He grins down at me sheepishly. ‘Well, well, well, Molly Carter.’

I look away, hoping to show my disinterest. ‘It’s good to see you.’ He bends down and nudges my knee. ‘It’s been a long time.’

I move my legs away and busy myself by adjusting the settings on my camera. ‘Yeah well, I don’t get back to Leigh much. I live in
London
now,’ I add pompously, suddenly feeling the urge to prove myself.

He smiles. ‘That’s cool.’

‘Yep,’ I reply curtly. ‘It is.’ I look around desperately, trying to find an excuse to leave. Ryan clearly has other ideas. He sits down next to me and then leans back on his elbows in a way that suggests he doesn’t plan on moving any time soon.

‘So what do you do in London then?’ he asks, taking a swig of beer.

‘I’m doing a photography degree. At the London College of Printing.’

I’m showing off, but I don’t care.

‘There’s a whole college dedicated to
printing
?’ He laughs and I stare at him solemnly. ‘I’m just kidding. That’s wicked. It’s a properly good college, isn’t it? And it means you’re one step closer to that dream of being a photographer. Good for you!’

‘Thanks,’ I say, shocked that he remembered our conversation from all those years ago. I look around desperately for Casey and realize that we’re surrounded by snogging couples. The
Bembridge
has always been Leigh’s local haunt for young, amorous teens. Which makes seeing him here even worse. Brings back bad memories. ‘So what are you up to?’ I say politely, but disinterestedly, thinking,
Not much if you’re still hanging around here.

‘I’m about to start training to be a teacher at college,’ he grins.

‘There’s a whole college dedicated to teaching?’ I retort sarcastically, and he laughs and holds his hands up. I look at him quizzically. Guys like Ryan Cooper don’t become teachers. ‘So why would you want to go and do that?’ I laugh, then clock his hurt expression and remember what Casey told me about his injury. ‘I mean a teacher – wow! That’s very . . . er . . .
noble
of you.’

‘Well,’ he begins slowly, gazing at me intensely. ‘I believe that children are, y’know, our future.’ He pauses and then stands up slowly, his eyes sparkling mischievously at me and breaks loudly into Whitney Houston’s song, causing some of the surrounding snoggers to stop mid-tongue.

I pull him down and shush him, punching him on the arm as he laughs gleefully.

‘Now you
are
taking the piss,’ I pout, twirling my cider around with the hand furthest away from him, the other clenched on the deck tantalizingly close to his.

‘So what happened to your dream of being a footballer?’ I ask, thinking back to our long-ago conversation when I bumped into him with my mum and he took me for coffee. Unsurprising really, back then it felt like the biggest thing that had ever happened to me. How pathetic.

‘I got badly injured during my trial a while back,’ he says matter-of-factly. ‘Tore my cartilage in my knee and had to have surgery. Bang went the idea of going pro.’

‘Oh, that’s awful!’ I exclaim, wondering why he doesn’t look more bothered about it. The way Casey told it, it was a local tragedy.

He shrugs and smiles. ‘It happens. It wasn’t the end of the world.’ A shadow flickers over his face momentarily. ‘Besides,’ he leans towards me to whisper, ‘I’m not sure I was as good as everyone thought I was. Reckon it was definitely a case of confidence over talent.’

‘If your kissing was anything to go by, that’s probably true.’

Shit. Did I just say that?

Ryan laughs. ‘Ahh, well that addresses the elephant in the . . . boat. About that night at The Grand, I’m sorry.’ He pauses and looks at me sincerely. ‘But it wasn’t what you thought, y’know.’

‘What, shockingly abysmal you mean?’ I say sarcastically.

He stares at me and smiles a little sadly. ‘I meant a dare. It wasn’t a dare.’

‘What was it then, double dare, or maybe a physical challenge?’ I retort. ‘If it was, you failed.’ I love goading this guy. It’s too easy.

‘Ouch,’ Ryan clasps his chest and scuffs his trainers on the ground. ‘Right in the heart, and ego. I’m not sure which hurts the most.’ He looks up and grins cheekily. ‘Are you gonna kiss it better then?’ he presses.

‘And why on
earth
would I want to do that?’

He winks. ‘Because if first is the worst, that must mean second will be the best . . . ’

I look around for Casey. Where is she? ‘So, er, what are you doing for the summer?’ I ask awkwardly.

‘I’m going to Australia for a couple of months,’ he says excitedly. ‘I’m going to be a deck-hand on a boat that sails around the Whitsundays. I leave in a couple of weeks. It’s going to be wicked!’

‘Wow!’ I exclaim, genuinely impressed. ‘I’ve always wanted to go to Australia. Me and my mate Mia have said we’re going to go and live in Sydney one day. It’s meant to be an amazing city, loads to do!’

‘Yeah,’ he grins. ‘I thought I should have my fun on the other side of the world, so I don’t have to hold back! I need to behave once Mr Cooper is officially unveiled to the world. Well to the kids of Essex anyway!’ he laughs and looks at me.

‘I’m starting my PGCE back at uni in September, straight after I get back from Oz. I’m looking forward to it too. Teaching isn’t a million miles away from what I wanted to do, not really . . . ’ I look at him doubtfully. ‘You never know, I may end up
teaching
the next Gary Lineker, rather than being him!’

His generous mouth lifts into a cute smile. We stare at each other, remembering a past moment shared. An awkward silence descends like the night breeze, cooling the atmosphere.

‘Come on, let’s walk,’ Ryan says, getting up and extending his hand to me.

‘We’re on a boat,’ I laugh, ‘there’s only so far we can go.’

‘Let’s just go and look at the view across the water.’

I stand up and blink, suddenly realizing just how much the cider has gone to my head.

‘Wooo,’ I say, swaying a little.

‘Hey,’ Ryan puts his arm out to steady me. ‘You OK?’

‘Yep, just felt a little woozy there for a little bit.’ I giggle. ‘I’m OK now.’

We carry on walking and I realize he hasn’t moved his arm. I stiffen a little. I’m drunk but not
that
drunk. If he thinks he’s going to take advantage of me again, embarrass me in front of all these people, he’s got another thing coming.

‘You know,’ Ryan murmurs, his breath warm against my ear. ‘I’ve always regretted what happened that night in The Grand.’

‘Me
too
,’ I say emphatically. ‘I expected it to be bad but it was the worst first kiss EVER!’ I giggle again. I
never
giggle. What’s wrong with me?

Ryan gapes at me. ‘It was your
first
first kiss?’

‘Mmmhmm.’ I nod and then stop when I realize any vigorous movement makes my head spin. I must be drunk. ‘Didn’t you guess?’ He shakes his head and I prod my finger against his chest. ‘Well Cooper, unlike the
rest
of the boys in this town it must have escaped your notice that as a teenager I was NOT the hot piece of ass that I am now.’ Ryan bursts out laughing. ‘Hey, it’s not funny! Iss true. I know you kissed me for a dare. And I also happen to know that I have bloomed in the intervening years . . . Oh, yes . . . ’ I shake my new, longer, darker locks off my shoulders and prod him in the chest again. ‘I bet you’re kicking yourself now, aren’t you, huh?’ I bat my heavily liquid-lined eyelashes for comic effect.

Ryan catches my finger and pulls my hand to his chest.

‘I didn’t kiss you for a dare, Molly Carter,’ he murmurs. ‘Is that really what you thought? That it was some sort of stupid bet?’

I nod – and then burst out into a fit of uncontrollable giggles again.

Ryan doesn’t join in. ‘I kissed you because I really liked you,’ he says solemnly. ‘I just happened to do it badly. The boys will never let me forget it either. “Shit Snog” Cooper, that’s what they call me. Imaginative, huh?’

‘Sounds about right to me,’ I smile and then immediately narrow my eyes. ‘But don’t try and lay on the charm now, Cooper. I’m not going to feel sorry for you.’

Ryan holds his hands up. ‘I swear, Molly, I like – I mean,’ he coughs, ‘I like
d
you.’

I fold my arms and stare pointedly at him. ‘So why do you regret that kiss then?’ I prod him again jubilantly. ‘Ha! Smooth talk your way out of that one!’

Ryan turns and gently brushes my cheek then leans back and whacks me on the bottom. ‘Because, you hot piece of
ass
, what I was
gonna
say if you just let me finish, is that if I could wipe out that moment six years ago when I kissed you so embarrassingly badly, I would do it all over again. And,’ he leans in slowly, ‘I can guarantee it would be much,
much
better.’

I burst out laughing again at the corniness of his line and am horrified when I notice that a little bit of my spit has landed on his face, but Ryan doesn’t seem to notice.

‘The soft ripple of the waves would be like background music . . . ’

I contain my laughter to a derisory snigger. ‘It’s an estuary, there aren’t any waves.’

He stares at me for a moment then his eyes flicker out to the distance. ‘We’d gaze out across at the glimmering lights of Leigh-on-Sea . . . ’

‘Hardly Paris, is it?’ I say, folding my arms, my mouth twitching a little with the effort of disguising my smile.

Ryan takes a step closer to me and untangles my arms, gripping lightly on to my wrists then lifting them up. I feel a snort of nervous laughter building. ‘I’d hold your arms out like this, so you could feel the wind in your face, just like Leonardo di Caprio did with Kate Winslet in
Titanic
. . . ’