The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1058 page)

Haven't you ever shot a deer

and smuggled it out under the gamekeeper's nose?

AARON.

Why, then, it seems some certain snatch or so

Would serve your turns.

Why then, it seems that a quick bit of poaching

would suit you.

CHIRON.

Ay, so the turn were served.

Yes, if that would do the job.

DEMETRIUS.

Aaron, thou hast hit it.

Aaron, you've hit the nail on the head.

AARON.

Would you had hit it too!

Then should not we be tir'd with this ado.

Why, hark ye, hark ye! and are you such fools

To square for this? Would it offend you, then,

That both should speed?

I wish you had too!

Then we wouldn't be bothered with all this fuss.

Now, listen here!Are you such idiots

that you fight over this?Would you mind

if both of you got what you wanted?

CHIRON.

Faith, not me.

I swear I wouldn't.

DEMETRIUS.

Nor me, so I were one.

Nor me, if it meant I got my share.

AARON.

For shame, be friends, and join for that you jar.

'Tis policy and stratagem must do

That you affect; and so must you resolve

That what you cannot as you would achieve,

You must perforce accomplish as you may.

Take this of me: Lucrece was not more chaste

Than this Lavinia, Bassianus' love.

A speedier course than ling'ring languishment

Must we pursue, and I have found the path.

My lords, a solemn hunting is in hand;

There will the lovely Roman ladies troop;

The forest walks are wide and spacious,

And many unfrequented plots there are

Fitted by kind for rape and villainy.

Single you thither then this dainty doe,

And strike her home by force if not by words.

This way, or not at all, stand you in hope.

Come, come, our Empress, with her sacred wit

To villainy and vengeance consecrate,

Will we acquaint with all what we intend;

And she shall file our engines with advice

That will not suffer you to square yourselves,

But to your wishes' height advance you both.

The Emperor's court is like the house of Fame,

The palace full of tongues, of eyes, and ears;

The woods are ruthless, dreadful, deaf, and dull.

There speak and strike, brave boys, and take your turns;

There serve your lust, shadowed from heaven's eye,

And revel in Lavinia's treasury.

Then for heaven's sake be friends, and join forces to get the thing you're arguing over.

Planning and cunning must be used to get

what you want, and so you should resolve

that if you can't get what you want the way you want

you must get it any way you can.

Believe you me, Lucerece wasn't more chaste

than this Lavinia, the love of Bassanius.

We must follow a swifter plan than this

romantic meandering, and I know the way.

My lords, there is a ceremonial hunting trip under way,

and the lovely Roman ladies will follow the hunt.

The paths in the forest are long and wide,

and there are many isolated spots

well suited to rape and villainy.

So isolate this dainty doe,

and get what you want with force, if words won't work;

this way is the only one for you.

Now look, our Empress, whose divine mind

is devoted to crime and revenge,

we will tell what we mean to do,

and she will refine our plans

so that you two won't have to quarrel

but get you both your hearts' desires.

The Emperor's court is like the house of Fame,

the palace is full of tongues, of eyes and ears;

the woods are pitiless, dreadful, deaf and dumb:

that's where you should speak and strike, brave lads, and take your turns;

let your lust run free there, out of sight of heaven,

and get your fill of Lavinia.

CHIRON.

Thy counsel, lad, smells of no cowardice.

This is a brave plan, lad.

DEMETRIUS.

Sit fas aut nefas, till I find the stream

To cool this heat, a charm to calm these fits,

Per Styga, per manes vehor.

Exeunt

Whether it's right or wrong, until I can find the stream

which can cool this heat, some magic to calm my turmoil,

I am living in hell.

Enter TITUS ANDRONICUS, and his three sons, LUCIUS, QUINTUS, MARTIUS, making a noise with hounds and horns; and MARCUS

TITUS.

The hunt is up, the morn is bright and grey,

The fields are fragrant, and the woods are green.

Uncouple here, and let us make a bay,

And wake the Emperor and his lovely bride,

And rouse the Prince, and ring a hunter's peal,

That all the court may echo with the noise.

Sons, let it be your charge, as it is ours,

To attend the Emperor's person carefully.

I have been troubled in my sleep this night,

But dawning day new comfort hath inspir'd.

Here a cry of hounds, and wind horns in a peal.

Then enter SATURNINUS, TAMORA, BASSIANUS LAVINIA,

CHIRON, DEMETRIUS, and their attendants

Many good morrows to your Majesty!

Madam, to you as many and as good!

I promised your Grace a hunter's peal.

The hunt has begun, the morning is bright and grey,

the fields are sweet smelling and the woods are green.

Unleash the hounds and let's have a barking

to wake the Emperor and his lovely bride,

and wake the Prince, and blow a hunting horn,

so that the whole court echoes with the noise.

Sons, make it your duty, as I will,

to guard the Emperor carefully.

I had uneasy dreams last night,

but the new morning has lifted my spirits.

Many good mornings to your majesty;

and the same to you madam, just as good.

I promised your grace a hunting cry.

SATURNINUS.

And you have rung it lustily, my lords-

Somewhat too early for new-married ladies.

And you have given if lustily, my lords -

a little too early for newly married ladies.

BASSIANUS.

Lavinia, how say you?

Lavinia, what do you say to that?

LAVINIA.

I say no;

I have been broad awake two hours and more.

I disagree;

I've been wide awake for over two hours.

SATURNINUS.

Come on then, horse and chariots let us have,

And to our sport. [To TAMORA] Madam, now shall ye see

Our Roman hunting.

Come on then, let's get the horses and chariots,

and get hunting.Madam, you shall now see

how we Romans hunt.

MARCUS.

I have dogs, my lord,

Will rouse the proudest panther in the chase,

And climb the highest promontory top.

I have dogs, my lord, that will flush out the biggest panther,

and climb the highest mountain.

TITUS.

And I have horse will follow where the game

Makes way, and run like swallows o'er the plain.

And I have horses that will follow wherever the quarry

bolts, and can run over the fields like swallows.

DEMETRIUS.

Chiron, we hunt not, we, with horse nor hound,

But hope to pluck a dainty doe to ground.

Exeunt

Chiron, we won't hunt with horses or hounds,

but hope we can bring down a dainty doe.

Enter AARON alone, with a bag of gold

AARON.

He that had wit would think that I had none,

To bury so much gold under a tree

And never after to inherit it.

Let him that thinks of me so abjectly

Know that this gold must coin a stratagem,

Which, cunningly effected, will beget

A very excellent piece of villainy.

And so repose, sweet gold, for their unrest

[Hides the gold]

That have their alms out of the Empress' chest.

Enter TAMORA alone, to the Moor

An intelligent man would think I was stupid,

burying so much gold under a tree

instead of enjoying the use of it.

Let the one who thinks so poorly of me

know that this gold is part of a plan

which, executed with cunning, will cause

an excellent bit of mischief.

And so lie there, sweet gold, to cause trouble

[Hides the gold]

to those who get their handouts from the Empress.

TAMORA.

My lovely Aaron, wherefore look'st thou sad

When everything does make a gleeful boast?

The birds chant melody on every bush;

The snakes lie rolled in the cheerful sun;

The green leaves quiver with the cooling wind

And make a chequer'd shadow on the ground;

Under their sweet shade, Aaron, let us sit,

And while the babbling echo mocks the hounds,

Replying shrilly to the well-tun'd horns,

As if a double hunt were heard at once,