The Bull Rider's Collection (8 page)

“Liz? JR?” James called. No answer. Their bedrooms were on the second level of this cabin, but James knew if they were up there, they would have heard him. He’d spent a few Sunday afternoons in Lizzie’s room, listening for her dad to come back into the house.

A walk through the cabin showed him that five years had changed little. A bar ran the length of the cabin, but there were few bottles on the glass shelves. James inspected the empty glass-front fridge. A collection of Matchbox cars lined the edge of the wooden bar.

James’s eyes narrowed. Either the supply truck ran late this week, or Hudson’s Hot Springs had seen better days. Between hikers, back country skiers and the fact that Idaho had some kind of hunting season pretty much year round, James remembered the cabins being booked every weekend as well as most weeks throughout the year. They should especially be booked for rodeo weekend.

He walked through the kitchen to the back door. Looking through the old screen door, he saw Lizzie and JR in front of a small shed at the edge of the back yard. JR held a flashlight.

A cat hissed at him from the kitchen cabinet.

“Whoa.”

The flashlight turned on the screen door.

“We’re closed,” Lizzie called.

“Your cat doesn’t like me.” James shoved open the screen, let it slam behind him.

“Dad!” JR ran towards him, the light from the flashlight bouncing up and down. When he met James, he hugged his legs. “Don’t worry about Mr. Pebbles. He doesn’t like anyone. You came to see me. I told Mom and Cash you would.”

James smiled and knelt to give his son a hug. “Of course, buddy. I want to get to know you. And Mr. Pebbles.”

“Can I get some light over here?” Lizzie’s voice sounded short.

“Let’s go help your mom.” James stood and, taking JR’s hand, he walked toward where Lizzie fiddled with an engine pump. “What’s the problem?”

Lizzie wiped her forehead with her hand. “The pump from the springs stopped working.”

He moved her over so he could get a better look. Glancing over the pump, he pointed out the problem. “Your shut off valve is stuck. Got any WD-40?”

“JR, run into the kitchen. It’s under the sink.”

JR took off with the flashlight, leaving Lizzie and James in darkness.

Lizzie sat on the ground, crossing her legs into a lotus position. “I’ve never been any good with this end of things and lately Dad’s let the upkeep get out of hand. Most days he’s fishing, but he never brings home anything. I think he’s still grieving.”

“I’m sure it’s hard on him. But, Liz, the cabins are empty? This weekend?”

Lizzie scrutinized a spot on the ground, refusing to meet his eyes. “James, we haven’t rented out the cabins in six months.”

“So how have you been surviving?”

Guilt crossed Lizzie’s face. “We get Dad’s army retirement check. And … .”

“And what?” James strained in the dark to see what Lizzie wasn’t telling him. What could be this bad?

“And JR gets Medicaid and we get food stamps.” Lizzie dropped her head.

“And you were waiting to call me when things got rough?” James lowered his voice. “Seriously, taking welfare is easier than asking me for help? I would have paid child support, whatever you needed. I would have been there.”

“Yeah, but you weren’t, remember?” Lizzie’s voice cracked. “You’re not even really here now. You think you can ride in and every problem will be fixed? What fairytale did you step out of, Prince Charming?”

The screen door slammed and JR and his flashlight came flying back at the pair. “I found it. Finally.” He handed the can to James. “What did I miss?”

“Thanks.” James shot Lizzie the same
we’ll talk later
look she’d given Cash earlier. They didn’t need to fight in front of JR. “JR, shine the flashlight right there.”

Silence reigned while James tinkered with the pump. Then he primed it a few times and hit the reset switch. The pump roared to life.

JR jumped backwards and fell on his butt. “Wow. You fixed it.”

“I did. But the pump needs to be oiled and the lines are pretty ragged at the edges. We’ll have to do some work tomorrow when it’s light.”

“I thought we were going to the rodeo tomorrow to see Uncle Jesse ride?”

“We are. But work comes before play. We’ll get up early and fix the lines. Then we can go.” He nodded at Lizzie. “Why don’t you go in and make some coffee and hot chocolate while us men check the rest of the system?”

“I can do that.” Lizzie’s voice was soft with gratitude. Just hearing her talk made him want to reach for her.

“Am I one of the men?” JR asked, interrupting the vivid daydream that was beginning to take James away.

“Yep. You and me. We’re the men tonight.” He stood and took JR’s hand. “We’ll be back in a few, woman.” He winked at Lizzie. “Make sure there are marshmallows in the hot chocolate.”

“And sugar for the coffee,” Lizzie answered. “I remember.”

He watched her walk to the house before turning back to the shed. For the first time in five years ago, he felt like he was home. Her words replayed in his mind: “I remember.”

I hope you do,
he thought,
because I remember too much.

• • •

Lizzie poured milk into a pan and set it on the burner. James would have a cow if he knew how much she and JR depended upon the generous taxpayers of Idaho to get by these days. Along with the Medicaid and food stamps, this year for the first time she’d also gotten heating assistance to pay for filling the propane tank, as well as help with her electric bill. Then there was the financial assistance checks that kept the growing JR clothed.

It had taken swallowing every bit of pride she possessed to apply for assistance at all, but just when her dad seemed to be coming out of the daze her mom’s death left him in, he’d taken some kind of left turn away from them again. Lizzie had only managed to keep the cabins running as long as she had because nothing broke. But when the lines from their signature hot springs went down and all her dad said was “I’ll get to it” then wandered off to who knew where, Lizzie did what she had to. Because with the fall-off in trade due to the economy, the money to pay for outside help to get the place back on its feet just wasn’t there. Going to James for help after all this time hadn’t occurred to her at first. Then when it did because of questions on JR’s social services and welfare forms, she’d decided it was a bad idea best left to lie. When the interviewer prodded, Lizzie said simply that JR’s daddy wasn’t in the picture and had never been. Eventually the subject dropped.

Yeah and James finding out about JR this weekend has been so much easier.

Turning down the gas under the milk, she went to brew a pot of coffee. Social Services wanted to set her up with some job training that might help her to be more independent when it came to running Hudson’s Hot Springs, but so far nothing had come through. And today after learning that James had found JR alone outside River’s Edge while her dad was inside, Lizzie was no longer sure how she would be able to get that job training if she couldn’t trust her dad to look after JR while she was gone. Torn, she watched the small beam of the flashlight bounce around as James and JR walked around the backyard. Had she done the right thing? JR deserved to know his father and James was here for him. Today. But what about the next time Jesse called?

Finishing the coffee, Lizzie pulled out the chocolate chip cookies she’d baked Friday. JR would be over the moon. Two desserts in one night. He’d think it was a holiday. Grinning, she turned off the stove and mixed the homemade cocoa mix into the warm milk. There would be enough left over to stir into the coffee for homemade mochas for her and James. Sleep wouldn’t come easy tonight but she didn’t think the cause would be the late-night caffeine hit.

She went to the front room and locked the door. Now they weren’t the host cabin for her rentals, she should remember to lock up earlier. But old habits died hard.

And see what the cat drug in tonight.

She grinned, turned off the television and went back to the kitchen. She’d set out the cups when the boys came in the back door.

“Mom, did you know there’s baby mice in the pump house? Can I keep one as a pet?” JR pulled off his jacket and dropped it on the floor next to the posts she’d installed by the door for his coats and jackets.

“Hang that right, buster. And no, we don’t keep mice as pets.” Lizzie poured the hot cocoa into JR’s favorite old NASCAR cup then added the requested marshmallows. “Go wash your hands.”

“That’s no fair. Sandy has mice and a guinea pig.” JR draped the jacket on the hook. “And a dog. You won’t even let me have a pet that’s free.”

“Hands, mister.” Lizzie pointed toward the bathroom door.

JR stomped out of the kitchen.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have shown him the mice. I’ll clean the shed out tomorrow.” James nodded to the kitchen sink. “Mind if I wash up in here?”

“Go ahead.” Her mind raced. He planned on coming back tomorrow? She knew he’d mentioned something when they were fixing the pump, but she thought he’d was being nice. “Look, you don’t have to come back tomorrow. Fixing things here isn’t your problem.”

James dried his hands on the kitchen towel. “I said I would and I am. So accept my offer and say thank you.”

“But really, you don’t have to … .” Lizzie stopped when the dishtowel popped her arm. “Ouch.”

James grinned. “Want another one?”

“No. I mean thank you for doing this.” Lizzie gave in and pointed to the coffee. “You want some cocoa mixed in?”

“And ruin the coffee? No thanks. Black is fine.” James sat down at the kitchen table. “You make these cookies?”

“I did.” She set the coffee in front of him. “Chocolate chip is JR’s favorite. And he can’t stand raisin.”

James grabbed a cookie and took a bite. “You always did make a mean cookie. There’s so much I missed, isn’t there?”

Lizzie poured half a cup of cocoa then topped it with coffee. Stirring the mixture, she paused before answering, “Yes. He was a cranky baby, but my mom could soothe him. She said I was too nervous, I moved too fast.”

“Sounds like you.” James’s voice sounded warm and quiet.

She dropped the spoon in the sink, looked out the window. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It wasn’t fair.”

“You did what you thought was best for you and JR. How can I be mad at that?” James stood behind her.

She felt his breath on her cheek; tears threatened. “I should have told you.”

James leaned into her and put his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him. “You’ve told me now. And you gave me the most amazing gift today.” He spun her around and wiped her tears. “We can’t change the past. All we can do is live today and plan for tomorrow. Where we go tomorrow … .” He shrugged. “We need to make those decisions.”

JR’s voice came from the table. “I thought we were working on the pumps, then going to the rodeo tomorrow.”

Lizzie grinned and lightly pushed James away, patting his arm.

Leave it to JR.

“You’re right, but I think your dad was talking about the future, not just tomorrow.” She took her cup and sat down at the table with JR. James followed her lead.

“Like how he’s not going to travel so I can teach him to fish?” JR reached for a second cookie, the first already gone.

Lizzie sucked a painful breath and shut her eyes. “Maybe. We’ll see. And that’s your last one. You’ll be hyped on sugar and never get to sleep.” Lizzie brushed the hair out of her son’s eyes. He was growing up too fast.

James grinned at JR. “I’m a fan of your mom’s chocolate chip cookies, too. In fact, they’re why I started dating her.”

“If I remember right, my mom’s apple pie cinched the deal.” Lizzie recalled the first night James had shown up for dinner at the house. The menu had seemed more like a Sunday supper: mashed potatoes, fried chicken, bacon–green beans, and an apple pie for dessert. Her mom had gone all out for Lizzie’s first steady beau.

“We have to reel him in good, Elizabeth.” Her mom had smiled when Lizzie commented on the spread.

“I’m not fishing here, Mom,” Lizzie had complained. “We’re just dating.”

“From what I’ve heard he’s a good boy. You could do a lot worse. Like dating his wild brother.”

Lizzie had bitten back a laugh. Dating James meant dating Jesse, too, since he was always around.

Her mom had brushed Lizzie’s bangs out of her eyes. “You’re growing up so fast.”

Lizzie hadn’t known what her mom was talking about then. She did now. Looking up, she realized both James and JR were watching her.

“What?”

“Earth to Lizzie, where did you go?” James reached for her hand.

“I’ve been right here, why?”

JR jumped in. “We asked you a question, twice.”

“You caught me. I was thinking about Grandma.” She straightened. “What did you ask?”

“JR wanted to know how long we dated.” James squeezed her hand. “I told him I loved you from the minute we met, in what, fourth grade?”

“Seriously, James, I had my eye on you long before that. Remember Mrs. Taylor in first grade?” Lizzie smiled at JR. “We didn’t have kindergarten back then. We were thrown straight into the hard stuff.”

“I remember Mrs. Taylor.” James nodded. “She looked like a grandma. She used to read to us every day right after lunch.”

“Story time. I think it helped calm everyone down from recess.”

James seemed surprised. “You were in Mrs. Taylor’s class? Why don’t I remember you?”

“Because I was quiet and scared and you were hanging with Annie.”

“I remember Annie. She let me see her … .”

“James!” Lizzie interrupted. “There’s a child at the table.”

“I was going to say, she let me see her lasso. Her dad had a miniature one made just for her. Where is your mind, Liz?” James nodded at JR. “Besides, I think he’s out for the night.”

JR leaned against the table, his head in his hands, his eyes closed. A gentle snore came out of his mouth, proving James right.

Lizzie stood and walked over to pick JR up. “It’s been a long day. He’s tuckered out.”

James appeared at her side. “Let me take him.”

Lizzie nodded. “His bedroom’s this way.”