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Authors: Edwina Currie

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BOOK: The Ambassador
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‘I’ll take that on board, sir.’ Strether’s head was beginning to ache in the airless heat. Outside, he could hear faint rumbles as traffic began to move again. A child laughed somewhere in the building.

‘You’ll meet a lot of octogenarians. In high places, too. They’re running the show, especially behind the scenes. Some of the top ranks in the European civil service were born back in the days of President Clinton. The second one – Chelsea, I mean.’

‘They don’t see this as an issue?’ Strether was puzzled.

‘No, they don’t. They have huge private pension and insurance funds. Vast operations, billions upon billions. The old are not a problem – the opposite, in fact: they have enormous spending power. Clout, in other words. We never got anywhere near that. Makes me as President distinctly envious, when we’re still tinkering with Medicare. So why would young people want to escape this earthly paradise?’

‘Maybe
that’s
why, sir. With the top jobs blocked, it won’t feel like paradise to them,’ Strether ventured.

‘You could be right. But aged leaders, of whom you’ll meet a lot, are nothing new in Europe. The British had Gladstone and Churchill as Prime Ministers in their eighties. The Russians had a procession of them, like Yeltsin, well past his prime. The Chinese too: in imperial and Communist days alike, geriatrics ruled. Funny how these ancients clung to power just as their empires were heading for collapse, isn’t it?’

‘D’you think that’s likely to happen, sir? There’s been talk,’ Strether asked quickly.

The President snorted. ‘There’s been talk of the European Union breaking up since the day it was founded. That’s over a hundred and fifty years ago. It’s a helluva long time since the Scandinavians seceded, then saw sense and came back. They quickly discovered which side their
smörgåsbord’
s buttered. On the other hand, if there were tensions, if the Union began to split, or weaken: east–west, or north–south …’

Strether waited. Kennedy waved a hand, vaguely. ‘Not a matter for my newest ambassador. I don’t need you or anyone to start intriguing. But it must be obvious. If the Union weakened, then
this
Union could be the gainer. I wouldn’t object to the USA being leader of the free world once more, as we used to be.’

Strether felt himself utterly out of his depth. He examined the carpet for a moment. ‘I guess I’m going to find daily life quite a shock there.’

‘No doubt about that.’ The President aimed at the ceiling and blew a perfect smoke ring. It shimmered briefly above his head like a halo before slowly dissipating. ‘We still have a lot in common. Genetically we’re pretty much the same stock. But you’ll find them a godless bunch, by and large, compared with Americans. Here, we believe in God and we attend divine service at least once a week, mostly. Officially they’re the same, but in truth the majority in western Europe are atheists or agnostics – or claim to be – and only ten per cent
go to church. It makes a difference.’

‘It means they have no worries about playing God. The genetics programme.’ Strether shuffled his feet unhappily.

‘Precisely. Americans take a – a more
fundamentalist
view. We are Christian conservatives: and, may I add, I am proud to be counted in that number.’ The President’s chin went up. Then he shrugged. ‘To be honest, they suffered a lot more from the mid-twenties explosions. Much nearer than us. We only got the tail-end of that man-made mayhem. They were breathing, eating and sleeping under a radioactive cloud. Perhaps if we’d seen the same genetic damage, we’d have made similar laws.’

Coming from the President of the United States that was remarkably tolerant, Strether noted. Opinions on the matter were usually expressed with far greater ferocity. A thought occurred to him. ‘Say, were these – ah, refugees – copies?’

‘We’re trying to find out.’ The President tapped the dying cigar into his makeshift ashtray and examined its ash regretfully. ‘Look, Strether, I don’t like the idea any more than you do. It gives me the shivers. But what you got to get into your head is that copies are people. You can’t tell by looking at them – no outward signs, no labelling. Though, incidentally, if you use the term “clone” anywhere in Europe you’ll get a smack in the mouth. And everybody will deny they exist. The term is “NT” – nuclear transplant. Because that’s how they’re made.’

Strether nodded glumly. ‘NT’ it would have to be. ‘It’ll be difficult, sir,’ he mumbled.

The President wagged a finger. ‘For God’s sake, don’t forget it. We can’t afford any undiplomatic incidents. Keep this in mind: these people have the same manners, the same looks, and the same rights as everyone else. What happened at the point of conception – if, indeed, they were conceived at all – isn’t branded into their foreheads. Those stories about how they have no fingerprints? Absolute balls. No way of distinguishing them.’

‘That’s why it’s banned in the US,’ Strether murmured.

‘It’s been banned from federal funds, yes, since nineteen ninety-seven, but that’s not the only reason.’

‘Sir?’

The President grinned. ‘At college I took a double semester’s credit on medical ethics. The moment I got here I called for the secret files. You know cloning was legal in various states for a while? Then it went bottoms-up in California, before you and I were born. A group of militant homosexuals had wormed their way into the top laboratories. They had a mission to prove that they were normal; the plan was that the more people there were like them, the less they’d be seen as freaks. The parents had no idea. But a gay lifestyle doesn’t involve loads of babies. A generation later, when the fertility rate in that state dropped to almost zero somebody got suspicious. They’d screwed up the gene bank good and proper. The whole operation was shut down and Congress passed the fiftieth amendment.’

‘It’s illegal to play with genes in America.’

‘Exactly. Our pastors and preachers act as guardians; we politicians take the path of least resistance. But in Europe, the practice is widespread. For them, it’s the logical next step of medical science. And they, believe it or not, see it as progress.’

‘We use it in cattle. Have done for ages.’

‘And it works.
That’s
the problem.’ The President stubbed out his cigar and drained
his glass. The child’s laughter was more insistent, and closer now. ‘Extra intelligence, resistance to disease, stamina, wisdom, all at the push of a laboratory button. Master-race stuff, may the dear Lord preserve us. You will find it – interesting.’ Strether raised the remains of his bourbon in a toast.

‘I will pledge to do my best, sir.’ The two men rose, the President wafting away the tell-tale pungency with a sheepish grin. Strether hesitated. ‘One more thing, sir. I can’t exactly ask them to their faces. But will the senior people I meet – the Prime Minister, the head of the civil service, people like that – will they be clones?’

The President frowned. Swiftly Strether corrected himself. ‘I mean – ah – NTs.’

‘Yep.’ James Kennedy responded brusquely, for it was seldom admitted in polite company. He moved towards the door, hand outstretched. ‘Just about every one of them; at least, the members of what they call the upper castes. Your maid and chauffeur will probably be, well, like us. But whatever happens, you treat ’em with the deference they deserve. Make sure of it.’

Strether swallowed. ‘Even the King?’

‘Especially the King. Who in his right mind would do a thankless job like that, unless he was bred to it? Ambassador, stop worrying. You’ll do your country proud. Don’t forget to pack your auto-translator: you’ll need it. And come back when it’s all over: Colorado will be waiting.’

At that point the door flew open. A small boy stood boldly in a purple tracksuit, his azure eyes and white-blond hair proclaiming his paternity. He raised his head and sniffed suspiciously.

‘Daddy, you’ve been smoking,’ the child announced severely. ‘What are we to do with you?’

 

Strether could still feel that firm handshake, still see his President’s clear eyes and pearly teeth. The child’s confidence and looks had also touched his heart: that dynasty would continue. Dozens more questions had whirled in his mind, but the opportunity had gone. The answers would have to be found on this side of the ocean.

And maybe other gaps could be filled. It was three years since his wife had died, but longer than that since she had fallen sick. The ache in his breast did not disturb him much in Colorado where her presence was almost tangible, surrounded as he was by her Navajo artefacts, her furniture and pictures, her favourite books. He had not been tempted as he danced on the ship, but the pretty women had been a reminder. In Europe he would face many strange offerings. Perhaps a man could respond. If he wanted to, if the need was there. And it was.

A steward approached, his uniform crisp and starched, gold braid on each epaulette. Out of the corner of his eye, Strether noticed that the movement was tracked by an on-shore camera. He felt an urge to wave, to announce his arrival.

‘Your Excellency, welcome to Europe. On behalf of the staff and crew of the
King William V,
thank you for voyaging with us. We hope we’ll see you again. Your limousine has arrived on the dockside. Will you come this way, sir?’

‘Strictly speaking, Ambassador, you’re accredited to the Court of St James’s. Hope it doesn’t feel too odd to be coming to Buckingham Palace first.’ The Lord Chamberlain snickered, in a way that told Strether this was a standard jest.

‘We do still have St James’s,’ the old man went on. ‘For proclamations of a new sovereign and such. But mostly it’s used for commercial purposes. Business lunches, company training conferences and the like. It has to earn its keep.’

Strether kept a tactful silence. His escort, Sir John Lanscombe, was tall and
narrow-framed
. He stepped as if his joints were stiff; he must have been over eighty. Above the black tail-coat and starched white tie the Adam’s apple bobbed painfully up and down as if searching for a hearty meal. The mouth was thin-lipped, the eyes pale blue and fringed with sandy lashes, but the pate was fashionably bald. The style was patrician, ascetic, as if
self-discipline
had been elevated to a primary virtue. Strether sucked in his paunch and pulled back his own shoulders. The surveillance cameras would notice any laxity; he was not yet used to their ubiquitous presence. He might be broader-beamed than the Lord Chamberlain but he was not ashamed of his appearance, even if the court dress and sash of office felt a little silly.

‘This way. This is the Throne Room. Now, do you have your letters patent? The King and Prince Marius will be with you in a few moments. As the representative of a foreign power, Ambassador, you may bow if you wish, but you’re not one of his subjects so it is up to you. And you can stay for lunch? Excellent.’

Strether was left alone. He gazed around. It had been brave of the British to leave Buckingham Palace intact, marooned along with Clarence House, Lancaster House and other fine buildings on an island out in the enlarged Thames. The Mall ended abruptly in a small dock at which the Royal Barge was moored. A single Tudor Beefeater looking hot in cherry velvet marched slowly around the Victoria Memorial, picking up bits of litter, while guards in striped pantaloons and burnished breastplates lounged sleepily at the gates. The desalination plant, hidden behind a gold-painted trellis topped with crowns and powered by solar panels, provided fresh water for the properties and for the lavish fountains and fish-filled lakes in the gardens. The turrets and chimneys of the palaces were duplicated by their reflections in the river’s glassy surface. Strether could see at once, however, that the cost of removing such magnificence to higher ground would have been prohibitive.

His brief tour had shown him that most of the principal State Rooms were on the first floor, approached up a double curved staircase which, he had been languidly informed, had been remodelled for King George IV, almost three hundred years earlier, at a cost of £3,900. Old pounds, that was. His brain struggled to reconvert first into dollars then euros and gave up. From the thickness of the gilding on the curlicued balustrade and everywhere else he looked – he dared not touch – it must have been an enormous sum for its day. He could not help noticing that the chairs in the Green Drawing Room were a mite threadbare, but they were probably three hundred years old too, owned by a Royal Family that had been strapped for cash for generations.

The room he found himself in was as magnificent as any he had ever seen; the grandeur took his breath away. No Las Vegas imitation could compete. Gold and red, purple
and white, imperial colours, gleamed everywhere. The wallpaper was of red watered silk, the curtains, two metres or more high, with braided pelmets, of crimson velvet trimmed in purple. His feet sank into a patterned carpet laid on a wood floor polished to a high sheen, which creaked as he walked. Above his head seven chandeliers sparkled; in the ceiling frieze he could make out the symbols of what once had been the United Kingdom – the harp, lion, the leek and the thistle. Under a richly carved canopy, heavy with more velvet, stood two thrones on a dais, their backs embroidered with the ‘WVIR’ and ‘P’ of King William VI and his queen, Patricia.

The English (though not the Scots) had decided they liked their monarchy, despite oscillations of opinion over the century. Strether managed to identify the initials on the backs of the other chairs: EIIR must be Queen Elizabeth II, who died in – when was it? – 2030 at the age of 105, her son Charles having predeceased her. So there was no chair for Charles III. The line had passed to his son William V (after whom the liner had been named), who abdicated during the middle years’ uprising: by then he had become a nervous recluse who had never enjoyed his regal status and was, the history books implied, glad to go. His daughter Anne II took over at the Restoration and did an excellent job of re-establishing support for royalty as an institution. She retired in favour of her son, Prince Mark, who died tragically in an accident before he could be crowned. Thus from his accession in 2090, and for the first time in living memory, the nation had a young king, Anne’s grandson William VI. The monarch was about thirty.

‘Good morning, good morning!’ A stocky man in a simple blue tunic and trousers hurried in. He was fresh-faced, sandy-haired, with the prominent Windsor nose. ‘I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting. Do pull up a chair.’

Strether was taken aback. This was the King? He had expected a much grander entry. The monarch’s unassuming manner was infectious, however, so he shook the hand that was offered and decided to dispense with the bow. The envelope with its crest of the Office of the President of the United States of America was duly presented.

Behind the King entered a slim, taller man, a little older, dark-haired and
sallow-complexioned
with a cool, intelligent expression. He, too, wore the day suit of tunic and narrow trousers but with a more military cut. The newcomer glided smoothly to position chairs – thrones, Strether realised wildly, as he seated himself gingerly on the edge of one – until the trio was comfortably intimate, knees almost touching.

‘Oh, sorry, I forgot. This is Prince Marius Vronsky. He’s my cousin, and representative here of the other crowned heads of Europe. And an elected member of the House of Lords, of which he’s far too proud. But mostly he’s my friend.’ Strether and the Prince shook hands and eyed each other. A door opened and a maid entered with coffee on a tray. Marius brought a small table and helped her to pour.

‘So! Welcome to the European Union,’ the King continued. ‘Been over here before, have you?’

‘No, not at all, sir,’ Strether answered. ‘Not seen that much of my own country either, to tell you the truth. I was a rancher, out west.’

‘Like in the old movies. Did you ride a horse?’

‘Oh, yes, I was brought up on them. Mostly we ranch with microlites and trail bikes, but there’s something special about a horse. They’re cheaper, and environmentally friendlier.
And you can talk to them, and they don’t answer back.’

‘Helps if you have to go find a lost doggie, yeah?’ The King’s eyes were shining. A smile played on Marius’s lips.

‘We don’t lose ’em, sir. Every beast is microchipped at birth and we can track ’em by satellite. But, yes, we do have to go dig ’em out of odd places sometimes.’

‘Your life sounds much more entertaining than mine,’ the King replied wistfully. ‘Still, I’m born to it. I ride for ceremonial occasions; the tourists love to see me. I think that’s the main justification of my existence, really.’

Born to it
. Strether swallowed. The President had said the King must be – born to it. No, bred to it. The King was the first of those – what was it? –
NTs
– he had met up close. The first, at any rate, of whom he had been aware. Though maybe the Lord Chamberlain was too. How could you tell? Of course, such people appeared on US television and he had seen documentaries on how it was done, but never before had he breathed the same air as one. He studied the young face thrust eagerly so near to his, and began a rambling saga of a night lost on the prairie to give himself time to think.

Absolute prejudice dominated discussion at home about these matters. Wild and frightening tales circulated, designed to bolster the prohibition against such practices. Yet the King looked perfectly normal. Everything moved and functioned precisely as it was supposed to: the blue eyes shone, the skin creased convincingly, the hair was evidently not retouched, though trimmed close to the scalp. An earring gleamed discreetly in one ear. The front teeth were capped, but that was common enough among public figures. He bore a strong resemblance to Diana, Princess of Wales, his great-great-grandmother, but that, too, could have been engineered. It could all have been false; it could all have been real. How was a newcomer to know?

Strether faltered. It dawned on him that he had expected NTs to be more android in appearance, with some tell-tale indication of their origin. The image in his mind was of a manufactured human. He wrestled inwardly and spun out his story as the King peppered him with questions. This youth was something made, manipulated – a Frankenstein’s monster. Strether realised he had been convinced (if subconsciously) that such creatures must have a mark to give them away. Nothing as crude as a piece of metal protruding from their necks, or extra nostrils or deformed earlobes. But something, surely. The President had said not. It was a shock to realise that the President must be correct. With no signs, that made it harder. Strether bit his lip.

Prince Marius had been observing him. ‘Ambassador, if you are new to our continent perhaps you will do me the honour of allowing me to show you around?’ The slight accent betrayed that English was not his first language. Another NT, probably. His hair and eyes were dark: not, then, the same genetic material as the King, despite the description ‘cousin’.

‘That’d be kind of you,’ Strether accepted gratefully. ‘I’d like to see – everything, I guess.’

‘Well, we’ll fix that,’ the Prince replied. He turned to the King. ‘Our other guests should have arrived. Perhaps, now that the official business is done, we can move to the Music Room? I ordered lunch to be set out there. It’s so much cosier than the State Dining Room, don’t you agree?’

It had been done so elegantly. Strether felt checked over, categorised and made
welcome all at once, through a faultless performance that must have been repeated many times. The Prince’s invitation must mean he had passed muster. Still, he felt uneasy.

 

Obediently Strether followed as the King, still talking animatedly, led the way through great carved doors, some of which needed both hands tugging hard to open. Marius brought up the rear. Strether had expected uniformed flunkeys, but apart from the maid who had served coffee no servants were in sight. Evidence abounded that cleaning staff were also in short supply: a large cobweb hung from a chandelier in the State Dining Room and gobbets of dust disturbed by their passage skittered away into corners. While the opulence was overwhelming, Strether wondered whether the King and his wife didn’t live quietly upstairs in a modest apartment.

As if reading his mind, Marius remarked, ‘Not the most practical house these days, I’m afraid. His Majesty is determined to keep it up, though. His grandmother, the former Queen, held court in a detached property near Hampstead, but it wasn’t the same.’

Strether remembered the open space of his own ranch-house, its extended glass wall giving breathtaking views over a lake, the brown hills hazy in the distance. That was far more to his taste than this endless red plush, the tatty edges, the faint mustiness in every corner.

‘We get an annual grant from the European Union,’ Marius was continuing. ‘Then the President, Herr Lammas, can make use of the state apartments when he’s in London. He brings his entire household and the palace gets a thorough spring-clean! But he prefers to stay at the Dorchester. Here we are.’

They had entered a sumptuous blue room with marble pillars, its ceiling the most flamboyantly decorated yet. Exquisite pieces of blue and gold china – Meissen? Sèvres? Strether didn’t know – adorned every flat surface, most of which were also marble, but aquamarine in colour. Instinctively he held his hands at his sides to avoid knocking anything priceless to perdition. He did recognise Shakespeare in bas relief at one end, and paused in awe before double-life size portraits of the King’s ancestors.

‘The Georges were hideous,’ the King commented, ‘and several of my ancestors carried the haemophilia gene. And porphyria. So much misery – changed the course of history, too. Poor Tsar Nicholas! I’d far rather live now, when we can eliminate defects. Wouldn’t you?’ There must be an etiquette, Strether brooded. At home the subject was taboo; whenever it was raised, it provoked fierce controversy. The careers of prominent politicians who had dared to suggest genetic therapy might have its virtues had been destroyed overnight. Instead, dwarfs could still be seen on the streets of Denver, or children with ill-repaired hare lips or those bulbous foreheads that had appeared during the 2020s. Playing around with genes was anathema, even where the benefits were obvious and easily obtainable. Not that the corrective surgery wasn’t on tap, but without publicly-funded medicine it wasn’t much use, not for the poor.

Marius had gone ahead and flung open a door into a room with a floor-to-ceiling bow window: the Music Room where, legend had it, Princess Diana had learned to tap-dance. The view out of the window was of the tranquil Thames, which was close to its widest at this point. The floor was a delicate circular marquetry of black, browns and tans; the massive columns supporting the cupola were of black marble, which shimmered in the light reflected from the water. The effect was to enhance the isolation of the palace from the bustling
metropolis a few kilometres to the north. A table had been set for lunch; a single footman in a white jacket held a tray of drinks.

Four men, the Lord Chamberlain and three others, glasses in hand and smartly attired in well-cut tunics, some with ribbons of office at their throats, acknowledged their entrance. Another man in army khaki stood slightly to one side. The King leapt forward eagerly to make introductions.

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