Take Me As I Am (4 page)

“Knowing my luck, if I hit it any harder it will break,” she muttered.

†

Thea, feeling deeply melancholy about her aborted breakfast with Joanna was contemplating what to do next. The singer had certainly gotten under her skin and in a big way. It brought memories of her life to the forefront.

Her early upbringing had been reasonably stable and happy. Her mother had left her father when she was ten years old. She ran off with a ‘salesman’ as her father always called him. Her father had loved her dearly and he’d tried to make up for his only parent status. He sent her to private school until she was fourteen and finances became tough. Going to a university wasn’t an option even though she had the grades. His gambling and drinking had brought about his ruin by then and they had quickly lost everything but the motel.

When her father died, there was a hefty mortgage on the motel. Her one hope had been—as calculating as it sounded—the insurance money from the life insurance policy that her father had taken out. Yesterday the insurance company informed her that they would
not
pay the claim since there was strong evidence that her father committed suicide. Now what would she do? She couldn’t counter the claim since she had no money.

The sound of rapping on the glass of the lobby brought her head sharply around. For Thea it was like the sunshine coming out after a rather gloomy dark start. She was staring into the eyes of the most improbable protector you could possibly hope to have. It brought her heavy heart soaring. She rapidly moved out of her chair, went back through the exit of her private office, and into the lobby.

“You’re here,” she gushed.

†

Jo had watched the sadness on the blonde’s face leave as soon as they locked glances. It was a profound feeling of relief that went through her chest at the sweet smile Thea gave her. Her eyes followed the blonde as she left the yard and within seconds appeared in front of her.

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m late. I overslept.” Well that had been a partial truth anyway. She didn’t exactly want to look stupid by saying she’d been lazy and decided to go back to sleep.

“That’s okay. That’s fine. I kinda wondered if that was the case. I did keep you awake after all,” Thea said happily.

“I guess.” Jo smiled before drinking the remains of her coffee. “Yours is the best coffee I’ve ever had.”

“Thank you. Would you still accept my invitation to eat? It might be more like lunch now, but I’m sure that’s more in keeping with your routine anyway.”

Jo looked at the nervous woman in front of her closely. Something that was familiar was drawing her to the woman. She wasn’t exactly sure why, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. It was as if she’d always felt a protective mode concerning Thea. It was weird, because she certainly hadn’t met Thea before. What was even stranger was her offer to protect another human being.

“Lead the way, Thea. I could eat a horse.” Jo smiled engagingly and watched in fascination, as the blonde seemed to lose her nervousness and gain confidence at those few words.

“Lucy’s Diner is three doors down. How about there?” Thea turned anxious eyes toward Joanna.

“Great idea. I go there every day. I think Lucy knows all my likes and dislikes in the food area by now.” Jo chuckled and went to stand next to Thea.

“Let’s go then. I can’t have you starving to death. You are my only paying guest.” Thea chuckled.

Jo noticed Thea turn a faint shade of pink as she held open the door that led to the outer street. Wow, not only was she being protective now she was being chivalrous also.

What am I coming to?
Inwardly she laughed.

†

As they walked amiably to the diner, Thea saw several locals, mainly men, looking in their direction. One of them seemed to be especially interested in watching their progress to the diner. As they entered, Thea saw him out of the corner of her eye as he moved with speed toward the bank. She sighed heavily.

That’s all I need. Another visit from George Andrews. It would only give me indigestion.

“You okay?”

Thea gave her a weak smile. “I’m good…” she paused for a moment. “I saw someone I’d rather not see today…ever actually.”

“Good thing that you are with your protector then.” Joanna gave her a warm smile. “Smells good in here, as always.”

“Yes, it does and I’m famished.” Thea pointed to a booth in the corner. “Let’s sit there.”

Joanna nodded and guided Thea to the empty table.

†

Lucy Evans, a plump motherly woman, was the sole owner of the diner ever since her husband Kent died of a heart attack ten years earlier. They never had children, so everyone who used the diner frequently became a member of her family. She watched as the newest member of that family came into the diner with one of the oldest members.

When Jo had appeared in her establishment three weeks earlier, Lucy’d sized up the younger woman as arrogant with the self-confidence to match. Normally that type of person didn’t do well in towns like Danvers. John-Henry had hired her to sing and from what she heard from others, the woman was certainly good at that. In a town starved of young women, she certainly did offer a stunning sight. Within a week, Jo’s eating habits had been deciphered and during the following weeks, they had developed a friendly rapport.

Now, the woman who had all the young men champing at the bit to take her out on a date was talking amiably with Thea Danvers, the motel owner. They obviously would know one another since the motel was the only place for out-of-towners to stay. What surprised Lucy the most was that the two women
were
socializing. In all the years, she had known Thea, she’d never seen her socialize with anyone. It was common knowledge that the banker George Andrews had staked a claim on her and warned off the other men in town.

Obviously no one told Jo that.

She beamed at the two of them as she headed for a table. “Hi, girls. What can I get you today?”

“Hi backatcha, Luce. I’m having an early lunch with Ms. Danvers here,” Jo said.

Lucy saw Jo’s hand resting on Thea’s shoulder and gave her a friendly smile.

“Well, I have the steak special that’d I’d recommend, but if you girls need something lighter, well, I can….”

“No. No, that sounds good to me,” Thea jumped into the conversation.

“Then count me in also,” Jo said.

“How do you want the steak, Thea?” Lucy asked. It was rare she came into her diner. When she did, she always sat away from prying eyes and scribbled in a notebook as she ate two helpings of apple pie and drank coffee.

“Well done for me, Lucy.”

“Well done it will be then. I don’t need to ask you, Jo. Medium rare about cover it?”

“Yep, that about covers it. If you need me to help with the serving, give me a holler.” Jo grinned at her.

“Comin’ right up.”

†

Thea was astonished at the friendliness that emanated between the two women. She was surprised, but happily so when she felt Joanna’s hand rest with what seemed a natural occurrence on her shoulder.

“You know this is the same table I sit at every time I come in here,” Joanna said.

“Why this table?” Thea asked, intrigued.

Joanna seemed to be scanning the occupants of the room.

Thea looked, too. There were four men eating. She didn’t know any of them by name.

“Ah, well, I like to see everyone in the room. I don’t like surprises, but I also like my privacy and this affords both.”

“That’s exactly why I sit here when I come in for a meal.” Thea grinned at Joanna.

“Great minds, then.”

“Can I ask you a question?” Thea asked tentatively.

“Sure. I can always refuse to answer if I don’t like the question.” Steel blue eyes captured her.

Thea cleared her throat. “How old are you? When did you become a singer? Where are you originally from? Have you any family? Have you ever—”

A slim finger rested on Thea’s lips and she looked into twinkling eyes.

“I thought you said
a
question, not twenty?” Joanna laughed softly.

“Sorry, I guess I got carried away.” Thea could feel her face heat up and she looked away.

“Yep, you sure did.” Joanna’s finger traced a pattern on the cotton tablecloth. “No need to be sorry.” A gentle smiled filled her face. “You know, you’re cute when you blush.”

Thea could feel her face get hotter.

“I’m thirty-five. I’ve been singing since I could talk. Probably before then, if you listen to my mother. I was born and raised in a suburb of New York City and both my parents are living and I have a younger brother. I’m single, never been married and never likely to be either with my track record,” Joanna answered in a lighthearted tone.

Thea grinned. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Now it’s your turn. I’m still waiting for why you’re named Thea.”

Thea chuckled. “It will sound crazy but I’m kind of named after a silent movie actress who was quite famous in her time. Theda Bara. They got rid of the d and here I am.”

“Wow. Okay, I’m going to go all nerdy on you now. Wasn’t she in the early movie version of Cleopatra?”

Thea nodded vigorously. “Do you like…no, too many questions already unanswered.” She looked away suddenly conscious of being alone with Joanna. “I’m twenty-nine, my parents split up when I was ten. My father’s dead and my mother remarried and ironically, she lives somewhere in New York too. I’m an only child. I can’t sing to save my life. I’m single and have never married either.” Thea was surprised at her light tone, which reflected the ease with which she could talk to Joanna.

“That gets the preliminaries out of the way at least. So what do you do for fun around here?”

“Fun? Fun. Hmmm. Well, I…I suppose I write.” Thea looked down at her hands.

“Write about what exactly?”

Thea looked at the table, picked up a napkin absently, and twisted it. “Poetry and short stories. Nothing very good. I tinker at it more than anything else.”

“In that case, would you allow me to read some of it so I can be the judge of the quality?” Joanna asked.

Thea moved her head in neither a positive nor a negative way. She didn’t know what to say. This was all foreign to her.

Joanna’s hand reached out and stopped her shredding the paper napkin. “Can I take that as a yes?”

Thea felt the warmth and surprising comfort in the hand on hers and it felt right. “Yes.”

“How about I buy lunch tomorrow and you can bring something along for me to read? What do you say?”

Green eyes tangled with blue and a message passed between them that Thea didn’t understand—but felt it was nonthreatening in its content. “Okay. I’ll look forward to that.”

“So will I.” Joanna grinned.

Lucy chose that moment to deliver their meal. “Here you go, ladies. Enjoy.”

“Thank you,” Thea said. “It smells and looks wonderful.”

For the next hour, she chatted with Joanna as old friends did, or what she thought old friends did. She had never had a friend before. When they left the diner, it was clear to her that, no matter what happened next, she had found a friend—a good friend. In her heart, she knew that Joanna felt the same way.

Chapter Six

George Andrews sat down heavily on the worn, but comfortable sofa in what a stranger would find as a surprisingly elegant motel. He knew that with a lick of paint on the outside and a little renovation inside, it would be a fantastic place. Just that small attention to detail would bring more people into town to stay rather than pass it by. The motel in the next town twenty miles away was poor inside by comparison but it didn’t look like it was suffering from depression on the outside.

Some of the locals wanted to help Thea paint the place when her father had died but he’d blocked all attempts by using devious but effective methods. Once he had some of his friends indicate that the bank might call in all the loans if anyone helped Thea and the offers stopped. He smirked, remembering the faces of John-Henry and Lucy, two who had spearheaded the motion to help Thea. At first, others had agreed, only to gradually decline helping without explanation. He couldn’t touch either of them from the bank angle, but he sure could make it difficult for others in the town if they helped.

Thea was his. No one and nothing would get in his way to have her. What aggravated him further was when he saw her eating with that whore singer from the bar. Why John-Henry had employed a drifter was beyond him. No way would he let that bitch get in his way either. Thea would marry him and soon. Now that the insurance company had refused payment, it was only a matter of weeks before she acquiesced.

The door to the motel opened and he heard the harsher tones of the drifter before he heard the tinkling laughter of the woman he was waiting for. That annoyed him even more. What did that bitch say to make his woman laugh?

“Who told you all those jokes?” Thea had her face turned to Joanna.

George scowled as he watched them.

†

Jo had seen the fat man in the lobby’s expression aimed in her direction. From experience with others in the past, she knew exactly what it meant. She looked at Thea and seriously doubted that she understood the feral look of possession. She smiled gently at Thea and shook her head. “That would be telling, now, wouldn’t it?”

“Oh, please, Joanna?”

Thea’s pleading green eyes made Jo want nothing more than to answer her. She knew who the man was, since both John-Henry and Lucy had pointed him out as the
bastard banker
.

“You have a visitor.” Jo pointed to the man and watched as Thea turned. Her smile froze. Instantly, Thea’s posture became apprehensive.

“Mr. Andrews, what a surprise,” Thea said politely.

Jo looked at the man, who rolled out of the comfortable chair before moving slowly in their direction. “Thea, my dear, I need to speak to you. Privately.” The last word resonated around the lobby as his voice moved up a tempo.

Thea looked at her with pleading eyes. They planned to have coffee in the yard together but Jo knew that her friend had little choice but to comply with the man’s request. Jo watched Thea’s body sag and she instantly wanted to protect her from the horrible man. She had no choice, knowing that to interfere would only make matters worse for Thea.

“Go ahead. We can take a raincheck on the coffee.”

Thea let out an audible sigh, her eyes still begging for a reason and it called to Jo. She turned away, only to make a swift decision and place her hand on Thea’s shoulder. She bent and whispered into the blonde’s ear. When she saw the smile she wanted, she left her to the bastard banker.

†

Thea watched Joanna’s receding back and smiled gently at the sight. Joanna’s words had made her feel safe and happier about the situation she was facing. All she said was
remember you have a protector
. The simple words soothed her troubled spirits when she saw George Andrews. In her heart, she felt that everything was going to be okay. If Joanna Lackerly was around, she knew she was safe and protected.

What else was missing?
Love was the resounding answer.

“Mr. Andrews, please step into my office.” Thea closed her eyes briefly before heading for her workplace.

†

George watched a nervous Thea shuffling paper on her desk. He grinned at the rush he always received when he sat in judgment of someone wanting his approval for a loan. It was a regular occurrence, but to consider actually making a proposal of marriage in that environment had him aroused.

“Thea, I think it’s time you considered your options in light of the fact that you will receive no further financial backing from any other party,” George said brusquely.

“I don’t understand.” Thea gave him a startled glance.

George shifted in his chair and gave her a shrewd glance. “Thea, I know that the insurance company has refused to pay out on your father’s death policy. That was, I’m sure, your final source of finance that could have saved the motel from the bank foreclosing.”

“How would you possibly know that, Mr. Andrews? I was only informed yesterday,” Thea said angrily.

George cleared his throat and wiped the perspiration from his face. “That, my dear young lady, is my secret. You should know that word travels fast in this town. So, Thea, how will you pay back the bank now?”

“How long do I have before you begin foreclosing on the motel?”

“No time. You are months overdue and had it not been for my good graces, you should have been thrown out months ago.” He mopped his forehead with a stained white handkerchief. “There is a solution to all this, of course.” George focused on her full breasts and his eyes remained there.

Thea snorted softly in disgust. “What solution would that be, exactly?”

“Why, my dear, you know of course that I have always thought you a very beautiful woman. I have often asked you out on a date, to which you have always refused. Considering the circumstances, I propose, yes, that’s the correct word,” he looked at her directly, “I propose that if you marry me, the debt will be paid and you may keep the motel in the family, so to speak.”

“If I refuse?”

†

George came unexpectedly quickly around the desk and invaded Thea’s personal space.

Thea could smell the faint cologne, he used, which in itself wasn’t unpleasant, but with his perspiring body odor, it was repugnant. It made her stomach churn and the meal she’d enjoyed with Joanna threatened to erupt.
Joanna.
Just the thought of her new friend and protector was the lifeline she needed. A sense of strength filled her as she recalled the earlier words of support.

“Thea, I can throw you out of here with the click of my fingers. After all, other than that drifter you have staying here, would it matter if the place closed for good? I think not. What would you do then? You have no money, nowhere to stay and no means to earn a living. Except…well, my dear, I would imagine my proposal is a far better a fate than selling your body.” Andrews sneered as his eyes leered at her breasts again.

“I would never do that! I need time to think about it.” Thea fought the urge to cry. She needed time to think and come up with a plan.

“As you wish. Join me for a drink and dinner at the bar this evening. I will expect you at eight. It would be in your best interest not to disappoint me.” George reached out a sweaty palm to caress her cheek.

She flinched at the gesture and noticed the predatory look on his face. “I will meet you at eight this evening and will give you an answer.” Thea swallowed hard to control her anger, fear, and revulsion.

George walked out of the room without another word.

Thea, feeling emotionally drained, got up and went to the door that led onto the yard outside. Her mind was in turmoil.

So, it has finally come to this.

The only asset left of the Danvers heritage hinged on her decision to marry George Andrews. Her mind and heart rejected the proposal as archaic and outdated, but her sense of family heritage was pleading with her to consider the possibility.
Keep it in the family line
rebounded in her head. One day she might have children to pass it on to—yeah, right.

Hot tears began cascading down her cheeks at the abhorrent thought. It wasn’t the children, but who the father might be that was repugnant to her. She simply did not see herself as the mother of George Andrews’ children, nor did she see herself as his wife. For that matter, she did not see herself as the wife to any man. None had ever touched her heart. She knew that they would have to reach her heart for her to consider marriage and children. They would have to reach her soul.

†

Jo stared out of the window onto the small yard with its cascade of color and brimming pots and troughs of flowers in every imaginable shape and size. Her mother had had
green
fingers and was always growing something in their apartment. The thought made Jo smile as the memories of far off events that rarely if ever invaded her thoughts before tumbling around in her head. She couldn’t stop the trace of a smile they brought along with it.

While she gazed at the yard, she noticed Thea quickly make her way through the grass. After looking at her personal domain for a few minutes, she sank heavily into the chair in the center of the lawn. Her new friend, who less than an hour ago had been bubbly and happy, sharing jokes and stories without a care in the world, was now a different woman. Once the bastard banker turned up, the beautiful smile immediately disappeared from Thea’s expressive face.

From her vantage point, Jo saw Thea begin to cry. Her face had the haunted look of someone who had the whole world on her shoulders and no one to share the burden. Damn, why did she feel so protective of this woman? What was it about Thea that called to her without words? As she stood there watching Thea cry, helplessness filled her and she was unable to make the move to invade Thea’s privacy and ask why. Jo thought back to the previous night and her attempt to do just that.
This is different.
Thea had opened up to her and accepted her offer to protect her.

If that fucking bastard excuse for a man has laid a finger on Thea, I will see him in hell
.

Jo was Thea’s protector, but certainly not her keeper. That wasn’t part of the deal—or was it? She knew that sometimes events that appeared simple to the eye could have the most far-reaching results on a person even if nothing happened until after the event took effect. This, she knew, was such an event. She felt her heartbeat react with a fierce thumping in her chest. Thea was a piece of the puzzle that was missing from her life. She was the person that Jo had been looking for all her life. Of that she had no doubt.

Thea asked nothing of her, other than to be around so they could share things together. No pressure. No recriminations. She only offered companionship, along with a bond that would take them into the future together.

Jo saw the tracks of tears on Thea’s pale features along with noting her trembling lips. Thea was barely suppressing sobs. A short time ago those lips had tugged into a broad smile at her jokes. Despite the distance, Jo could feel the profound sadness that surrounded Thea and it made her heart sick on her behalf.

Not really knowing what to do, she picked up her guitar, which she had been idly strumming earlier and again took up that posture, her fingers feeling the frets with the expertise of years of practice. A tune sounded in the room as she quietly hummed along with it until unconsciously she started to sing along with the notes that emitted from the instrument…
“You will not be defeated, my love…”

The phrases ended on Jo’s lips as her eyes strayed repeatedly to Thea crying. With the final words, the picture that had been faint suddenly gained clarity and with a heavy sigh, she sank down into the depths of the bed, contemplating exactly what it meant to the rest of her life.