Tainted Love: Anything For You Series 2 (5 page)

CHAPTER 5

Juliana might be hurting right now, and she felt vulnerable, but somehow she was feeling empowered right now. Gabriel's kiss was not demanding, nor was it rough. He merely pressed his lips on hers but he never probed her mouth. He merely took his time caressing her body as he molded it to his. She should feel violated, as he was not her boyfriend, yet she felt cherished. It wasn't long before she found herself straddling him. He groaned as he felt her rub against his crotch. Whether it was unintentional or not, if she continued to do this, he would have to pin her right there and then, uncaring for the consequences of his actions. She was having a moment of weakness, and as much as she hated to admit it, Michael had been neglecting her far too long. For a moment, she wondered what it would be like to be Gabriel's.

He broke away from their kiss, his eyes boring deep into hers, as if seeking answers or perhaps permission to go on. Her eyes dipped to his reddened supple lips as she remembered the feeling of kissing him twice. Should she let him go on, or should she stop before it was too late? As if sensing the hidden tug of war that was going on her head, he inhaled for patience. Her scent mixed in the air was not helping him clear his head. He had wanted her for so long, yet he could not force her to accept him and let her surrender to him. He noted the way she was responding to his gentle caresses and sweet kisses. The way she undulated her body to his only meant that he was affecting her the same way she was affecting him. Her shallow breaths as well as her dreamy looking eyes were also a sign that she was lusting over him and was probably in need of him in a sexual way. Could it be that Michael has been neglecting her for so long romantically and sexually? He wondered. Still stuck in the position they were in while they were kissing earlier, he cleared his throat to speak but never let her go. Her closeness was important to him. He relished it.

“Juliana...I've been attracted to you ever since the first time I saw you,”
he confessed as one of his hands continued to caress her cheeks and then her lips, which made her shiver at the contact. This was a lot to take in. He was confessing something to her as he continued to hold her tight. This is what she would have wanted with Michael. Intimacy in every way possible. Intimacy that he was not able to provide her a lot of lately.

“We've been working together for two years now and no matter how hard I try to forget this attraction to you, I can't. You always make me want you more. Like a forbidden fruit, you've had me looking at you from afar. How much I've wanted to covet which was not mine,”
he breathed, which made her blush. His confession was too direct, yet too sensual. Michael had been honest to her for many years, but somehow along those years, she felt like he was no longer being truthful to her. Blurred lines had become common as her imagination had continued to take its toll on her. As much as she wanted and trusted Michael, there were times when she regretted it or had questioned it. Her love never wavered but now, she did not know anymore.

“Give me a chance to have you, Juliana, and I'll show you what it is like to be treated right. I promise to be gentle with you if you let me. Let me help you forget him. I know you can't commit right now, but I want you to think about it. If you don't want another boyfriend, I can be a close friend,”
he suggested to her, making her swallow hard. Was she seriously considering his proposal? He did not need to hear her say anything. The fact that she was not swatting him away, moving away from him or worse, kicking him out of her house was testament enough that she was considering his offer to her.

“Thank you for your offer, Gabe, but I cannot and will not promise you anything. I am just too confused, too fragile, too weak, too – I don't know. I just feel so different. It's like I've been a living a lie for so long and I'm just realizing things which I should have in the past. Please give me time to think about it,”
she pleaded to him, before rolling to the other side of the couch and sitting there. Gabriel straightened himself as he looked at her and continued to listen. Although it was strange to hear her call him his name as they talked, he kind of liked it. Choosing Gabe instead of Gabby sounded good. Did he just hear a slight fondness in her tone when she mentioned his name? He was not sure.

“This is just happening so fast. Too fast for me. Besides, I still have to deal with Michael and Joana at some point. This...whatever it is that is going on between us, will just have to wait,”
she said as she looked at him. Gabriel understood. She was right. He might be going too fast with her on this. As if sensing that he was feeling slightly ashamed of what he had done, Juliana held his hands and gently squeezed them as she smiled at him, as if to encourage him that there was nothing to be ashamed of.

“I'm sorry, Gabe. Thank you for showing me how desirable I can still be to other men despite me being in a relationship and looking so plain.”

He wanted to tell her that she did not look plain in his eyes, but he stopped himself. Clearly, her self-esteem had been affected by Michael so much. Her confidence level was low and she did not think of herself as beautiful. Although he hated people who lacked confidence in themselves, he understood Juliana's case. If only he could do something about it. He stood and smiled at her, his head still swirling with ideas. He too was now confused, aroused and slightly pissed off.

“Thank you for the time, Ms. Austin. See you at work tomorrow.”

He leaned down to give her a quick peck on her cheek. As if she was not flustered enough, the kiss made her continue to have red cheeks. She stood up and followed him to the door to see him out. He was so much different from Michael. If only she had known him sooner. As soon as his car had left her driveway, she suddenly felt like something was missing. She then recalled him calling her Ms. Austin once again. She wanted to protest but perhaps old habits died hard. She went back to the living room only to fall asleep on the couch where she and Gabriel had been kissing earlier. If only she had been free to go on and have more of what he offered her. The drive home was fast. He needed to take a quick shower and to get some sleep. When he reached home, he took out his phone and called his assistant only to inform her that he wouldn't be able to go to work today, and neither would Juliana. He no longer cared if tongues would be wagging. At this point, he had decided that he would win her, no matter what.

Michael was finally discharged from the hospital and he sulked in the passenger seat as Joana drove his car to his apartment. He sulked even more knowing that Juliana did not even come to see him. As she parked his car, she helped her out of the passenger seat and helped him inside the elevator. He asked her to press 5 on the elevator keys and waited as the lift brought them there. Joana stood silently beside him. He still looked like a mess and he groaned when he realized that he would have to go to work looking like that tomorrow. Seeing that Joana was with him again today only meant she did not go to work to take care of him. Somehow this made him appreciate her more and he felt slightly pissed that Juliana did not care. He wondered if she had called or even sent him any messages. He figured he would just check when he got home.

As the lift reached the 5
th
floor, he led the way as Joana followed behind him. His apartment was at the end of the hallway to the left. He had an awesome view but unfortunately, he was not able to enjoy it every time. He was always so busy working that when he was home, he was only there to sleep. As he opened his front door, he invited Joana in, her high heels clattering on the floor tiles. She looked around and saw that it was a clean, minimalist kind of apartment. Although it was a studio type apartment, it looked spacious because of the arrangement and the minimal number of furniture as well as appliances. There was a divider on the right side of apartment that probably led to his bedroom. Her face lit up as she walked to the living room, taking in the view from the long windows aligned on the back of the long couch.

“Would you like a can of beer or a glass of water? Sorry. That's all I have in my refrigerator at the moment,”
he said apologetically as he continued to look at the contents of his fridge.

Joana sat on the couch and watched Michael moving about in the kitchen. She always liked his broad back and his behind. He might not look like a frequent gym goer, but he looked like he still exercised whenever he could despite his busy schedule.

“A beer's fine. I don't mind,”
she said as she enjoyed the view in front of her.

He opened two cans of ice cold beer and sat in front of her. He took a swig of his beer after her from one of the opened cans, not minding his bruised lips in the process. He was not supposed to be drinking beer. He was still recovering, but right now he just did not care. He pulled the phone out of his pocket as Joana drank her beer. Nothing. There were no messages or even calls from Juliana. What in the world was happening to her? He decided that it was time to call her. Juliana had fallen asleep in the comfort of her living room couch. When her phone started to ring, she panicked. She quickly grabbed her phone and answered. She knew that voice but now, his voice sounded more gruff than anything. It was Michael. She did not know how to feel at this point. She wanted to be happy, but somehow she felt numb.

“Hey Baby! I just got home from the hospital. I'm just wondering how you are. I wish you could have made it,”
he said as he tried to sound happy for her.

“Hi! Glad to hear that you're okay. Is Joana still there?”
she figured there was no beating around the bush. She had to ask, which made Michael wonder.

“
Yes, she's here in my home,”
he said, not even thinking about how his words would impact her.

“Michael...I hope we can talk personally somehow about all this. I really need to hear things from you.”
She tried to sound strong. If he was cheating on her, she knew she'd break down easily. She loved him so.

“What's this about, Baby?”
He stood up from his seat and walked to his bedroom. He did not like Juliana's tone at all. She sighed.

“I-I visited you earlier in the hospital today and saw you and Joana kissing...”
she recalled, making him curse under his breath.

There was no denying that it happened. He could still remember how her lips felt on his. Although he knew it was wrong to be kissing another, there was a point when he actually enjoyed it.

“I'm sorry, Baby. I don't deny it. It really happened. It was a temporary moment of weakness. It won't happen again,”
he explained to her.

Despite the fact that he was in his bedroom, Joana could hear what he was saying. Although hurt to be called a temporary moment of weakness, she was determined to put that all behind her. She wanted to be a more permanent person his life whether he wanted to or not.

“Did you or did you not enjoy your kiss?”
she asked boldly as she tried to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks.

“Jules, it was just a kiss. Don't be so overly dramatic!”
he said, irritated. His tone had been annoyed and she was not happy that he was being this way instead of just telling her the truth.

“If it was just a kiss then why don't you just answer the question?”
she wondered as she tried to remain calm. He let out a frustrated sigh on the other line before responding to her.

“Yes, I did. I enjoyed it. I know it was not right but what's done is done. I can't do anything about it anymore,”
he said as Juliana sighed.

He was right. Even she knew this as she had kissed another man twice and enjoyed it too. Remembering Gabriel and his intoxicating kisses, she was confused.

“Michael, I think we should take time to cool off. We haven't been functioning well as a couple lately. Our relationship isn't exactly as perfect as we both want it to be. I hate being the last on your priority list.”
She finally said it after all these years, and although it pained Michael to hear what she said, he knew deep inside that she was right.

“How long do you need a time off from me? From us?”
he asked sadly.

He did not want to lose her, but if this was the only way to keep her, he would let it happen. At this time, Joana looked interested in hearing what they were talking about. This time off from each other was a perfect time for her to snatch him away from her after all.

“Honestly, I don't know. It could take a couple of days or weeks. I just want us to really think about ourselves and our relationship,”
she explained.