Sticks and Stones (31 page)

‘My pleasure.' Maddie turned to Sam, who was still patting Guess. Watching them. ‘What about you? Want to open yours?'

‘Sure.' Sam rose slowly, laconically. Highlighting their differences. He picked up the present and shook it, sending a grin towards his mother. ‘Let me guess.
Twilight
as well?'

‘That's right. I know you
that
well.'

Sam undid one end of the wrapping and slid the present out. He raised his eyebrows and then turned the computer game over and read the back intently, nodding every so often as if pleased.

‘And
look
.' Ashley held up the key ring. ‘It has the
Twilight
apple! I
love
it, Mum!'

‘And you, Sam?'

‘Very nice. Thanks, Mum. I'll play it after we've had cake.'

Maddie nodded, unwilling for a moment to speak. There was a tranquillity about having them both here, knowing they were safe, under her wing, that was so real, and so
present
, it was almost tangible. Forming a lump in her throat. She smiled from one to the other and took a deep breath, of everything. ‘It's so nice to have you back. So nice.'

‘I want to stay,' blurted Ashley, looking surprised even as she said it. She glanced quickly at her brother and he gave an imperceptible, rather exasperated, shake of his head.

Maddie followed the glance and read it. ‘How about we have a really good talk later? When we've had a chance to relax, settle in?'

‘Good idea,' said Sam quickly. ‘Let's have cake instead.'

‘How about we save that for after tea.'

‘But we've
had
tea,' put in Ashley, frowning. ‘We had spaghetti bog before we came.'

‘Oh.' Maddie paused, surprised. She took a deep breath.

‘Dad said that was the way it worked.' Sam was watching her closely. ‘Isn't that right?'

Maddie smiled, shrugged. ‘Doesn't matter. I was going to order pizza but we can do that another time.' She watched their faces, perversely pleased at their disappointment. Then she went over to the cutlery drawer and pulled out the bread knife, holding it up.

‘God!' Sam threw up his hands in mock horror. ‘Sorry! We'll never do it again!'

Maddie grinned, grateful for both the easy humour and Ashley's giggle in the background. She cut the cake into eighths and got out some plates and cutlery. ‘There you go. Help yourselves.'

‘Can we have the pizza tomorrow night?' asked Ashley, sliding cake onto a plate and heaping whipped cream on top.

‘We'll see.' Maddie watched them as they pulled out their usual chairs and sat down. Ashley fanned out the
Twilight
stickers while she ate, examining each one carefully. Sam finished his cake in three bites, sans cutlery, and then patted his lap so that Guess put his front paws up, leaning his head forward to get his fur ruffled. She thought of the weekend, stretched out before them like a gift. And the money, soon to be deposited into her account, and Robyn, with her brisk and passionate understanding, and everything else. ‘Hey, what would you two think of me going back to school? To university?'

‘What for?' asked Ashley, surprised. There was cream on her top lip.

‘To do a course in something. Get some qualifications.'

‘But I thought you
liked
your job.'

‘I
do
. But I don't want to be doing just that for the rest of my life. I want something more, I don't know . . . challenging. Rewarding.'

‘I think it's a great idea,' said Sam suddenly, as if he'd needed a few minutes to process the idea. ‘What do you want to do?'

‘Does that mean,' Ashley paused, still staring at her mother, ‘that you'd move? Go away?'

‘Certainly not.' Maddie blinked, taken aback. She reached over and wiped the cream off Ashley's lip and then squeezed her quickly, around the shoulders. Touched by the smallness of her voice. ‘I'd just go to the local university, Ash. Or even if I did have to go to the city, I'd just commute. People do it all the time.'

‘Oh.' Ashley adjusted her
Twilight
stickers, swapping the order around. Then she glanced back at Maddie, tucking the hanging tendrils of hair behind her ears. ‘Then that's good. And you'll be at school the same as us!'

‘That's right,' Maddie smiled and looked back towards Sam. ‘As for what I'll be doing, I'm not altogether sure. I was thinking maybe . . . law?' She watched him carefully, and then Ashley, waiting for any sign of disbelief, astonishment.

‘Cool,' said Sam, helping himself to another slice of cake.

‘Is that because you had to have a lawyer yourself? For the court thing?' asked Ashley, still fiddling with her hair. ‘So you thought it looked interesting?'

‘Something like that.'

‘Good money,' added Sam. He peeled the icing off his cake and held it up, like a sheet of chocolate skin. Then he tipped his head back, mouth open, and folded the icing inside.

Maddie smiled, because it was all so wonderful. She wanted to bustle around them, feeding them more cake, and hot chocolate. Wiping cream from their faces. Like a Stepford mother, just giving and giving and giving. Drawing her own sense of wellbeing from theirs alone, just for a little while. She thought about discussing the money and even formed the words, looking forward to their input, when she quite suddenly decided against it. She had to start being clever, thinking ahead. There was a sharp knock on the back door, as if someone was applauding her decision, and Guess shot over, barking. Sam glanced at his mother but Maddie had momentarily frozen while she tried rapidly to think of who it might be. He got up to answer it himself.

‘Sam!' Kim stood on the threshold, staring at him with surprise. Beside her Ryan reached up to grab Sam by the hand and start tugging, with a grin.

‘Hey there.' Sam pulled loose. ‘You want to break my arm, mate?'

‘I'm Superman!' Ryan dived forward but Sam had now put his hands behind his back. Laughing, the small boy started to run circles around him as Sam turned, keeping one step ahead.

‘They're here for the weekend,' explained Maddie to Kim.

‘Oh. Of
course
.' Kim put a hand out to try and slow her son down. ‘I wasn't sure what was going on. Thought I'd drop around and see if you needed company.'

Maddie kept her smile in place even as she thought rapidly how best to put Kim off. Because the last thing she wanted was company, except for what she already had. ‘That's so nice of you. Thanks. But the kids have only just got here so . . .' She left the sentence hanging, hoping that was enough.

‘Oh. Okay.' Kim glanced over at the table, at the cake and the discarded wrapping. ‘Sorry.'

‘No, not at
all
. It was really nice of you.'

‘
Ryan!
' Kim snapped at her son, yanking him to a halt. The boy weaved, giddy now, grinning at the feeling. He staggered sideways and Sam reached out to steady his other side.

‘Everything's all dizzy!'

‘I think you're the one who's dizzy,' commented his mother. ‘In more ways than one.'

‘Hey Kim,' called Ashley from the table. ‘Hey Ryan.'

‘Hello Ash. I like your hair like that.' Kim turned back to Maddie. ‘Well, I'll leave you all to enjoy your reunion. And I'll give you a ring. We'll make a time to catch up.'

‘That'd be lovely,' said Maddie enthusiastically, grasping this. ‘It seems like ages. Or maybe that's just because so much has been happening.'

‘Yes. Okay then.' Kim took a firm hold of her still swaying son. He rolled his eyes, making ‘
Whee!
' noises and resembling nothing more than a miniature drunk.
Like mother like son
, thought Maddie viciously, almost immediately regretting it. Where had
that
come from?

‘Do you want to see my new phone?' asked Ashley. ‘It's an iPhone.'

‘Maybe next time.' Kim was already backing out. ‘I'll let you guys enjoy your party and I'll catch up later.'

‘I'll ring. I promise,' said Maddie, with extra gusto to make up for her earlier thought.

‘No problem.'

The screen door swung closed and then Maddie could hear Kim's heels as she clattered across the cobblestones. Shortly afterwards her head came past the window and then her hand rose, to give a brisk wave goodbye.

‘That was a bit awkward,' commented Ashley. ‘Are you guys fighting or something?'

‘No, just a lot going on.' Maddie gave an inward sigh and then picked up the shiny black phone now lying on the table before Ashley. ‘So your father bought you an iPhone.'

‘Yes.' Ashley glanced at her guiltily. She opened her mouth and then closed it again, licking her lips.

‘I thought we discussed this.' Maddie turned the phone over. It was impossibly slim, with smoothly curved edges. ‘No mobile phones until you're fourteen. Same as Sam.'

‘Well, Sam got one too.'

Maddie turned to face her son, rather stunned. He flushed, instantly answering her question, and then glared at his sister. ‘Christ, you're a cow.'

‘But . . . you already had a phone,' said Maddie. She put Ashley's phone down quickly, not wanting to touch it any more.

‘Mum, it's got all this
cool
stuff.' Sam pulled it out of his pocket, holding it up as Exhibit A. He continued rapidly, eagerly. ‘GPS, a camera, push emails, plus all these apps you can get as well. Old school games like Pacman and, hey look! This is the one Dad got me.' Sam whirled around suddenly to face the door, holding the iPhone out as if it was a gun. Then, even as Maddie was trying to take this in, he pressed his trigger finger onto the keypad and amazingly, shockingly, a shot rang out. Then another.

And he started laughing even as the sound was still ringing in her ears. It was a blank, you idiot. As if I'd waste a perfectly good bullet on you. She stared at him, then at the lowered rifle, and was washed with something very close to regret because, just for a moment, she wished he had.

Maddie's stomach turned to liquid, warm and thin like gruel. She clenched her pelvic floor muscles, frightened for a moment that the liquid would run out. Then she tried to pull herself together, quickly, before one of the kids noticed. She could hear Ashley, clearly amused, encouraging her brother to do it again but instead he turned to gauge his mother's reaction. His proud grin fading as he saw her face. He lowered the iPhone slowly, holding it by his side for a moment and then slipping it into his pocket, as if removing it would fix everything.

‘Sorry.'

Maddie stared at him, fully aware that he was apologising for the phone and not the gunfire. She dragged her thoughts in that direction. ‘Are they on monthly plans?'

‘Dad's paying for them,' put in Ashley quickly. ‘He said it was for all the birthdays he missed. And Christmas too.'

‘I see.' Maddie wanted to ask about what would happen if,
when
, they came back to live with her. Would he still be so happy to pay for them then? But she was also scared, terrified, that such considerations might influence them. She went over to the stove, put the kettle on, and then turned to face them both. ‘I think we should talk about what's happened now. Get it out of the way so we can enjoy the weekend.'

‘Okay,' Ashley nodded as Sam came back over to the table and sat down.

Maddie stared at them, wondering where to start. ‘There just seems like so much.'

‘Dad told us about the court case,' prompted Ashley. ‘That the judge said he should have a turn now. That you never should have taken us away.'

‘It wasn't quite like that,' said Maddie. ‘But yes, I think the magistrate was punishing me for leaving. He didn't believe me you see, about your father being . . . violent.'

Neither Sam nor Ashley replied to that, both staring at her. Waiting for her to continue.

‘He thought I just took you out of spite, because I didn't want to share or something. And of course I had no real proof otherwise. Whereas your father had all these affidavits, like signed statements, saying that he was a terrific guy who'd never hurt a fly.' Maddie tried to keep her voice even, without bitterness. ‘But what was worse, for me, was that there was a lawyer there who was supposed to represent you two and what you wanted, but he just agreed with your father's lawyer about everything. Then I found out later he'd barely spoken to you at all.'

‘That was the guy on the phone,' explained Sam to Ashley. ‘You know, at Dad's place.'

Ashley nodded, her eyes still on her mother. ‘So then can't we just ring him up and tell him we want to live with you now?'

‘It's not quite that easy.' The kettle started to boil, angrily spitting hot water from the spout. Maddie busied herself making mugs of creamy hot chocolate. She brought them over to the table, placing one before each child and then pulling a chair out for herself. Looking from one to the other. ‘But we'll be going back to court soon and this time I'm better prepared. I've got a new lawyer who knows about . . . this sort of stuff, and I've also got more proof about why we left.' She paused, thinking. ‘Listen guys, just out of curiosity, have you caught up with everyone from Dad's side of the family? Auntie Lisa? Aunt Sandy?'

Sam frowned, surprised by the sudden turn. ‘Not those two.'

‘I think Dad had a fight with Auntie Sandy,' said Ashley confidingly. ‘Because he goes to Gran that she's like a number-one bitch. Not Gran, Auntie Sandy.'

‘Ah, I see,' Maddie nodded slowly, still thinking, and then tucked the information away for later. She took a deep breath, got back on track. ‘And that brings us to an important question. But before I ask it I want to make sure you tell me what
you
really want, not what you think I want to hear. So – who do you want to live with? Your father or me? Or would you like to have some other arrangement, like maybe one week with him, one week with me.'