Authors: Kathryn Perez
I look at my wrist and then up at him. His eyes are glassy. One lone tear escapes his eye and trickles down his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I stare up at him in astonishment. “You’re not?”
He pulls me into an embrace and whispers into my hair as he holds me tightly. “No, I’m not.”
We haven’t spoken another word since he said he wasn’t leaving. After brushing out my hair we simply got into bed. He wrapped his arms around me and held me until I drifted off to sleep. I’m looking at the glowing numbers on my alarm clock. It’s five in the morning.
He’s still here.
He’s still holding me.
I shift a little and he rustles. Warm lips connect with the skin on my shoulder and chills cascade across my skin even though I’m warm under the blankets with him. My body always responds to his touch instantly. I turn over so we’re facing each other. His sleepy eyes are a little puffy and his hair is going in all different directions across his forehead. I can only imagine how I look.
“You’re still here,” I whisper.
He smiles and nods. “I’m still here.”
“I really thought you’d leave.”
He reaches up and brushes a wild strand of hair away from my face.
“I can’t say I’m exactly happy about something this unexpected. Nor can I say I even know how I really feel about the fact that I’m going to be a father again, when it wasn’t something I wanted after what happened.”
He pauses and I’m practically holding my breath.
“But I’m not
, Candace. I love you. I’m not going to abandon a responsibility like this, even if it’s not exactly what I had planned for my future.”
Red flags are going up in my mind and I can feel myself going on the defensive.
“I don’t want to be a
to you. This is about much more than just your future. There are three people involved here.”
I sit up and turn away from him.
“This wasn’t in my plans either.”
I turn my head toward him and look right into his eyes.
“I never expected,” I waved my hand back and forth between us, “any of this.”
He sits up beside me.
His hand comes up to caress my back. “I’m sorry. I’m not reacting the best way, I guess. It’s just a lot all at once. I’m not trying to be insensitive.”
I drop my head. “I know. I’m just tired, sore, and overly emotional.”
Looking up at him, I try and sympathize with how he’s feeling about this with the loss of his daughter at the forefront of his mind. “I know this blindsided you. Trust me, I’m terrified. I mean, I’m having a baby with a man I barely know. Do you even realize how little we know about each other outside of the walls of a hotel or bedroom?”
His hand falls from my back to the bed. As soon as he’s not touching me I want his hand back on me. Even now when things are tense and uncertain, his touch comforts me.
“We may not know as much about each other as other, more conventional couples who meet under regular circumstances, but one thing I am sure of is that I know you. I may not know your favorite color or your little quirks. I don’t know your favorite season, movie, or color.” He reaches up and places his hand on my cheek, gliding his thumb back and forth softly. “I know more than those insignificant things. I know how to touch your body in ways that brings you orgasms like you’ve never had before. I know how soft your lips are on mine. I know your laugh is my favorite sound and your smile is contagious. I know the woman inside you. I know the deeper connection you long for and how to give it to you.”
He brings his other hand up to my face, cradling it. “I know your heart and I’ve given you mine without even realizing it. All the things and favorites and facts in the world can never compete with the way loving you has destroyed me in the best way I could’ve ever asked for. You’ve wrecked me and I’ve loved every second of it.”
Tears gather in my eyes and begin to fall. He wipes them away with his thumbs. “What I also know is when you cry is makes my chest hurt and all I want to do is make it better.”
I try to blink away the tears and slow the pounding in my chest. “I don’t know what to say. No one has ever said anything like this to me before.”
Gradually he leans in and kisses the corner of one eye, then the other. I close them and exhale. Just as my eyes start to flutter open I feel his warm lips on mine. We haven’t kissed in what feels like forever. At first it’s tender and patient. His tongue moves smoothly across my lower lip and I open for him. His hands move from my face back into my hair. He turns into a sort of musician; me his only instrument. He kisses me with passion and reverence, guiding me as if we’re slow dancing to our own music in a burning room of flames. Every caress of his tongue, brush of his lips, brings us closer to a symphony, causing every other thing around us to fall away. We become each other’s solo, transforming them into a lovers duet. A big, strong hand slides gently down my back and I can feel his warmth through the thin material of my t-shirt. He grasps my hips and moves me onto his lap with ease, as if I’m a wisp of air.
Our kiss grows needier, like the steady increase of the beat of a drum. It intensifies and I want more; so much more of him. My mind clears of all worry, doubt, and just like I always do I allow myself to relinquish all inhibitions under his soothing touch. I wrap my legs around him and he pulls me in as close as he possibly can. Breaking our hungry kiss, he reaches down and pulls at the bottom of my shirt. I raise my arms for him and he pulls it up and over my head, dropping it to the side. Long, dark tendrils of my mussed up hair fall wildly around my face and down my back. He looks at me intently. Those whiskey colored eyes trace every inch of my exposed body until his gaze connects with mine.
“You’re so beautiful, words can’t even do you justice. You’re simply...perfect.”
I feel my face getting hot and I know I’m blushing.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
His eyes and hand move to my lower stomach and then he looks back to me.
“Our son or daughter will be perfect, too.” He smiles and those words float into my ears; a wave of pure and utter relief washes over me.
I lean forward and crash my lips onto his. Without breaking our kiss he moves us backward so I’m now on top of him. His erection is needy and hard against my skin. The soreness in my body from the wreck isn’t a second thought to the heat building between my legs. I grind myself against him in a circular motion and he moans into my mouth. Reaching down I try removing my panties and he takes over. Brisban easily pulls them down and then rolls me to one side. As he removes his boxers, my eyes are glued to his considerable length. I’m nearly coming apart with desire to have him deep inside of me. Gently he moves over to me, between my legs on his knees. I spread myself wider for him. My bare and very wet pussy teases him as his eyes move over me slowly.
“You’re incredible. Every inch of you is incredible.”
He leans forward on one hand. The bed dips a little as he shifts his weight to one side. With his free hand, he flutters his fingers up my right inner thigh. As soon as he reaches the warmth between my legs I let out a gasp.
“Yes, let all of that tension out baby. Let me have all of it.”
Before I can open my eyes he pushes one, then two, fingers inside me slowly.
“You’re so wet for me, Candace.”
I moan and squeeze my eyes shut even tighter as I tilt my hips up, causing his fingers to go deeper.
“Yes, that’s it. You like it deep. I know you do.”
“Mmm hmm,” is all I can manage to mumble out.
His fingers move in and out, not too fast and not too slow. It’s a steady and delicious build. He leans down and my entire body tenses when I feel his warm, wet tongue circle my aching clit. In harmony with his fingers he sucks it in and out of his mouth gently while continuing to circle it with his tongue. I feel the fire inside me getting hotter, burning brighter, and my breathing becomes erratic. Sweat beads form above my brows and I feel lightheaded in the very best possible way. He increases the speed of his fingers and I can’t take it another moment.
“Oh God, Brisban. Please!”
“Please what, Baby?”
“I need to come. Now,” I plead with him.
He doesn’t say a word. His fingers curl up and his tongue flicks my clit back and forth with precision and speed. My hips tilt upward and I writhe against his face, releasing every ounce of tension, worry, fear, and doubt. I’m floating and my limbs feel weightless. Before I can get my wits about me, the bed shifts, his mouth and fingers disappear from between my legs and are replaced by his beautiful cock. He guides himself inside me as deeply as he can go and my entire body jerks.
My eyes flutter open and Brisban’s eyes meet mine. I reach out and wrap my arms around him. Feeling him as he lowers his bodyweight onto me, I exhale. Slowing his pace, we meld into one motion. His face nuzzles into the crook of my neck and I can feel the heat of his heavy breathing against my skin. With every thrust he makes I push my hips up. We move together perfectly and, for the first time, it truly feels like more than sex. We are loving each other with our bodies and our hearts. Every movement, touch, and kiss is bringing us closer to becoming one.
3 weeks later…
BRISBAN HAS DEALT WITH THE pregnancy news far better than I ever expected or could have hoped for. I almost wonder if he’s holding back just for the sake of not hurting my feelings. He comes over nearly every day and has spent a few nights. We have also gone on some actual dates which has really been nice. I’ve avoided discussions about our future with the baby. I’m not even sure what I want so I can’t pressure him for answers I don’t even have myself.
He’s invited me over to his place for dinner tonight. I’m not sure why but he’s being extremely secretive about it. So far all he will say is
it’s a surprise
. I have no idea what he’s up to. Janette is convinced he’s going to propose to me. That’s not happening—she’s crazy. There’s absolutely no way in hell he’s popping the question. I’ve tried to keep myself as busy as possible all day but I can’t lie. I’m anxious and more than ready to go see him. I think I’ve checked my emails a million times, spent far too much time on Facebook, and my house can’t get much cleaner. I am exhausted. The fatigue has come swiftly into my life with the pregnancy. I can’t ever remember feeling this sleepy all of the time. Glancing over at the clock, I have enough time to take a power nap before getting ready. I send him a quick text.
Me: Taking a little nap then will be up and getting ready to head on over. See you soon.
Smiling I tap the send button and go lay down on the sofa. If I get in my bed I may not wake up until tomorrow. My phone dings.
Brisban: That sounds good. Both of you need your rest. Looking forward to what I have planned for you tonight. Love you.
He couldn’t possibly be any more amazing.
Me: Love you.
I send my text and lay back, closing my eyes with a permanent smile on my face. I’m not sure if it’s possible to sleep and smile simultaneously, but if it were I definitely would.