Seeing Red (36 page)

“I just don’t want to go.”

At that moment, Heather stepped out of her room. “Is
she hiding out again?”

“Oh my goodness, Dixie, you look gorgeous.” Oliver
sighed, clutching his hand to his chest. The red dress clung to her
body in a way that screamed sex appeal, which was in direct
contradiction to her innocent-looking, big brown eyes and long
brown hair. “Damn, Heather.”

“Maybe I’ll start calling
you
Red because you
look beautiful in that red dress, Heather. You look hot—really,
really hot.” Alexander smiled, mischievously.

“You look fabulous, Heather. You really do. All the
men at the party will be begging you for a dance.” Jill chimed
in.

“Aw. Thank you. You look great, Jill, and you two
boys look dashing. Very James Bond. It’s kinda hard to tell you
apart when you are both in tuxedos, and, Alexander, you cut your
hair. Nice. Very nice.”

“I have a bow tie and he has a tie. That should
help. And, of course, I have this hot dimple and he doesn’t.”
Oliver pointed to his cheek. Alexander rolled his eyes.

“Good to know. Anyway, what’s going on with our girl
over here? Is she being difficult again?” Heather pointed to Jill
as if she weren’t standing right there.

“I don’t want to go. I have a bad feeling about
tonight—about this whole stupid trip, actually.”

“Bad feeling?” Oliver asked, and all three were
suddenly grasping the severity of her statement. It was written all
over their faces.

“No guys! Relax. Not
that
kind of bad
feeling. Just . . . I don’t know. Intuition, I guess.”

“I’ve learned that your
intuition
is usually
spot-on. Maybe we should stay.” Alexander said.

“No. She’s just worried and probably overwhelmed.
This island brings up a lot of weird memories for me too. It’s
island fever. The party will be fun. It’ll distract you.” Oliver
replied.

“Darlin’, I promise that if you want to go, I will
leave right away. Let’s just make an appearance and that’s it. I
want to show off my dress and hopefully meet a stunningly handsome
bachelor.”

“Hey, what are we? Chopped liver?” Oliver said to
Heather.

“First, I can barely even tell which one of you is
Oliver and which one of you is Alex with those tuxedos on. Plus you
guys seem a little preoccupied with,” she glanced at Jill, “. . .
to pay any attention to me. So, I’m on the prowl gentlemen.”

“Hi, I’m Oliver, your date for the evening. So put
your claws away. No prowling for anything tonight, okay?” She
smiled and grabbed his elbow.

“Come on, Oliver. Let’s have a glass of champagne
while Alexander works his charm on our stubborn girl.”

“Your hair looks so red in that blue dress. You left
it curly, the way I like it.” Alexander smiled tenderly at Jillian
and she smiled back. “You’re nervous. I can tell. You’re
fidgeting.” She looked down at her hands. “Um, Jill, please come to
this stupid party with me. You look, um, well . . . I’m at a loss
for words here, babe. I need you in my arms at that gala. I want to
dance with you and laugh with you and look at you in that dress.
You are breathtaking.”

“You’re just saying that so that I go with you.”

“Nope, if you don’t go, I’m not going. I’ll stay
right here with you, but I can’t promise that I will be able to
control myself alone with you after seeing you with that on.” She
laughed at the seriousness of his face. His eyes were translucent
with desire. “Did you work things out with Oliver yet? I’ve been
trying to give you space, but I don’t know if I can do that
tonight.”

“No. I don’t really know how to approach him. I
don’t know if I want to.”

“You have to, Jill. It will solve so many problems.
If you choose him, I’ll understand, but I can’t just sit and wait
forever. I want to start my life with you sooner rather than
later.”

“You’re very sure of yourself, aren’t you? I didn’t
realize I was a foregone conclusion.”

“You kinda are. I hope to God you are.”

“I really don’t want to go, Xander. Seriously, I
don’t. Let’s just stay here.”

“Hey” he pulled her chin up to meet his gaze,
“please tell me why you don’t want to go, and if it’s a good enough
reason, I’ll let you off the hook. I promise.”

“Xander, people are going to ask us so many
questions I’m not really prepared to answer. We’ve never been asked
anything because we were little, but now, as adults, they are going
to want to know everything, and I don’t really want to start down
that road, and there is the thing about my father . . .”

“What thing with your father?”

She remembered he didn’t know about that. Shit!
“That’s a really long story, Alexander. I’ll explain it later.”
Only that he’s a murder, maybe. Oh, and he may be here. Oh, and
he’s looking for me. Oh, and I dreamed about him last night and my
mother and Helen warning me to stay away. Oh, and my mother was
scared shitless of him. No biggie.

“No. You will explain it now.” He was dead serious.
All sense of desire gone and replaced by anger.

“It’s nothing. I promise. But I don’t want to go
into it right now. In fact, if you promise to let it go, maybe I’ll
go to the stupid party.”

“I’m not going to let it go. I will table the
conversation for later, but I’m not going to forget about it.”

“Fine.”

“Jill? Was it really that bad?”

“What?”

“The island. Was it really that bad? You said you’re
afraid to go down that road, and I’m just asking you—was it really
that bad for you?”

“No, Xander, that’s the problem. It wasn’t bad. It
wasn’t bad at all. They were the best years of my life. Being
carefree with you and Oliver and Helen, not knowing what awaited us
on the other side, was . . . bliss. I wish we could just be there
again. It is where our mothers and your father are buried. It was
my home. No place I’ve lived has felt like home since. That’s not
what they are going to want to hear tonight. They want Tom Hank’s
Castaway. They want to hear that we were starving and sick and
miserable.”

He sat and thought about it for a few seconds. Then
he got up, and instead of saying something, he swept her off her
feet, kissed her cheek, and lifted her over his shoulder like a
firefighter.

“Nope. Not a good enough reason.” He slapped her
butt and carried her out.

In the end, it’s not going to
matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your
breath away.

-Helen

Jillian

“Put me down right now, Alexander Jacobs. You are a
Neanderthal, you know that!”

“Oliver. Heather. We have to go.” Alexander yelled
as he reached the front door of the suite.

They both saw a mess of red curls dangling behind
Alexander and blue chiffon all over the front and her legs kicking
up and down as she yelled, “Put me down.” Heather choked on her
champagne and moved aside.

They took the elevator down to the lobby of the
resort and walked to the ballroom on the other side of the building
right by the ocean. Alexander didn’t put Jillian down until the
elevators stopped at the lobby. Jillian didn’t say a single word,
and every time Xander tried to hold her hand, she would yank it
away. “Ass!” she seethed.

“Don’t be mad darlin’. Look, we’re here. Let’s just
have a good time,” Heather said.

“You’re all traitors. I can’t believe you let him
drag me here.”

“Come on, baby. Let’s move this conversation
inside.” Oliver said with a smile, taking her hand.

“Fine.” She all but stomped her way into the
ballroom. Really, she stomped. Like a toddler.

“I guess I lost my date. Come on, handsome,” Heather
said, interlocking Alexander’s arm through his elbow. Alexander was
fuming at the ability that Oliver had to calm Jill down.

“Hey, relax.” Heather gave Alexander a little nudge
to his ribs to snap him out of his obvious bad mood.

“I rile her up and Oliver calms her down. That’s the
dynamic. Always has been.”

“Well, then, stop riling her up, silly!”

“Easier said than done, Heather.” Alexander
grunted.

They walked in and were immediately escorted to a
table close to the front of the ballroom by a small stage. The
ballroom was nothing short of five-star. It was decadent beyond
anything they’d ever seen. The waiters were all in white coats with
coattails and gloves and serving the best champagne and finest
caviar. The ceiling was decorated with four enormous chandeliers.
The elaborate centerpieces on the tables consisted of red roses and
exotic flowers. There were easily over 300 people. She felt more
relaxed now that she saw there was a big turn out and she would
therefore not be the center of attention.

It occurred to her that she never got around to
preparing a speech, which was most definitely something she should
have done, since they were being honored with a memorial. The
thought of speaking in front of all these people made her so
uncharacteristically nervous that she thought she would pass out
flat on her face.

“Jillian? Are you alright?” said Oliver as he felt
her wobbling in his arms.

Alexander saw the look on her face and went to her
side immediately. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you think we all need to speak? Of course, we
need to speak. What a stupid question. I didn’t prepare
anything.”

“So?” said Oliver.

“So?” shrieked a panicking Jill.

“Red, you’re in law school. You’re one of the best
at public speaking in class. Since when are you afraid of public
speaking?”

“No! I just don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to
say, and what if they ask us questions, and what if—”

“Relax. I prepared a little something. I’ll thank
them on our behalf and answer whatever questions. All you have to
do is stand there and smile. Okay?”

“I guess,” she started to feel light-headed and they
all noticed.

Heather grabbed a couple of flutes of champagne from
a nearby waiter and handed one to Jill. “Here drink this and try to
relax. You are overthinking it, hon’.”

“O-okay,” she said, nervously.

***

Alexander

“I’ve never seen her like this,” whispered Xander to
Oliver.

“I know. It’s very out of character. What did she
say was the reason?”

“Some bullshit thing about the island being the best
time of her life, and I think she feels guilty about that somehow.
And then she blabbered something about her father. Who knows? I
don’t understand. Have you asked her why she is acting crazy?” He
whispered.

“Her father? What about her father.” Oliver’s mood
quickly changed.

“I don’t know; she said she’d tell us later. Anyway,
if we want to make it past dessert, we better start distracting
her. Go dance with her or something.”

“She’s not going to want to dance with me. She hates
me today, Xander.”

Maybe if they dance they’ll finally kiss.
Wait, did I just think that? I’m trying to push the woman I love to
kiss my brother. God, this is the worst plan E-V-E-R! “She hates me
today too.” Alexander added.

“She hates you every day, Brother. That doesn’t
change anything. Go dance. Hey, what do you think about Dixie?”

“Heather? That chick’s beautiful. Her body is hot!
She’s also really sweet, but her cooking sucks.”

Oliver let out a big laugh. “It’s the foods that she
cooks that are terrible. Who’d have thought there were actual
vegetarians in Texas? I guess I should ask her to dance since she’s
my date.”

“Wait, I want to talk to you about something,
Oliver.” He pulled Oliver to a secluded corner. “I know that this
really isn’t the time and place, but I really need to talk to you
about something serious.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“I’m not sure how to ask this. Okay, here goes. I
know you love Jillian, and I know that you know that I love her
too. I think that one of us has to walk away.”

“Are you suggesting that I walk away?” Oliver asked,
stunned.

“Would you?”

“No, would you?”

“Fuck no!” Alexander replied without hesitation.

“Then I guess we have a real problem, Brother.”
Oliver replied angrily. “You ignored her for eleven years while you
screwed every woman that crossed your path. I was there, remember?
I dated but at least I have standards. Even if I didn’t have
feelings for her, I wouldn’t want you dating her. She deserves
better. You’ll screw her over. You can’t commit. We kept in touch
through everything. You’ll never be able to love her the way that I
have been in love with her for all these years.”

“Let’s end this right now. Kiss her.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Kiss her.”

“She would punch me in the face if I kissed her
right now.”

“Figure it out. Man up, Bro. Kiss her. If you both
feel that you guys are meant for each other, I’ll walk away. I’m
sick of this game.”

“You seem very sure of yourself, Brother.”

“We kissed. Trust me. We belong together.” Alexander
said, sounding smug.

“Whatever . . . I don’t want to know. Ugh.” Oliver
grunted. His fists tightly closed by his sides. “If we weren’t in
here dressed like this, I would punch you in the face right now.
You need to stay away from her. You come in and out of her life and
always leave pain behind. She needs stability, and you are not the
person who can give her that, Alexander. I can’t believe I’m about
to say this, but I think I would have preferred Paul for her over
you! Have you ever stayed up talking to her on the phone? Has she
ever told you about Helen or the journals? A kiss does not a
relationship make, Alexander! A kiss is a kiss, but a connection
goes deeper than that, and Jill and I have a connection. You’re
right brother: this is neither the time nor the place for this
conversation, but, no, I will not back down, and I’m not just going
to half-ass a kiss to prove a point. It’s not my style.”