Seductive Lies (Secret Lives Series) (18 page)

“I know you have suffered, but know I never intended to hurt you. I needed you. I knew you well enough to know you would never accept the only thing I could offer. It was only the thought of losing you was too much to bear. I had no plan other than living with you
… loving you.”

Something in his eyes
, or perhaps it was the words, made her pause. The abyss in her heart filled with a longing where logic had no place. Her breath became shallower with each step he made towards her.

She leaned upward into him. He intertwined his hands in her hair and pulled her up to his lips. He kissed her. She was lost.

Desperation drove their desire that had been denied for so long. In her next breath, he had her pressed against the wall. She gave no resistance. Instead, she offered herself to him. He answered her invitation with an insatiable hunger.

He spoke no words, asked no permission. He had no need. She wanted this. She wanted him. She arched towards him, urging him to take her. She was his to command.

Shuddering under his touch, the whole of her body gave into the madness that centered on this man. The dam of emotions she held within her burst with a longing that resurged for his kiss
… his caress… his love. In the far recesses of her mind, it was her voice she heard calling his name.

She pulled him to her, but in swift motion he pushed her back and gripped her dress. Using both hands, he lowered the sleeves of her gown from her shoulder and freed her breast from her bodice’s hold. He ravished her with his lips—her face, her neck, her breast. His mouth fastened on her nipple, unleashing wonderful sensations. Her self-control shattered.

In a blur of primitive need, nothing mattered at this moment but her wanton desire and the relief only he could give. His head rose to meet her lips while his hands pulled up her skirt. His evident arousal pressed against her. She could stand it no longer. She had to have him in her.

Shamelessly, she begged, “Arthur, please. I want you.”

He took her against the wall. She shifted to accommodate him as his hands traveled over skin, prodding her legs to open. She caught her breath when he entered her slick readiness, not softly but in an almost violent fashion. He thrust in her, again and again.

She felt him as she never had before. He didn’t relent. Hard thrusts, deeper and deeper into her, evoked pulsations that radiated outward into a cascade of exquisite sensations. They joined in an intense rhythm, quickening, heightening his power over her until she exploded into spinning ecstasy.

Afterward, he held her against the wall. It took a moment to realize he was not inside her anymore, but the intimacy had not lessened. Then and only then did he speak, murmuring lovingly into her ear words of endearment.

Her breathing returned to a normal pace. She broke from his embrace and pulled her gown back in place. However had he disposed of her drawers so quickly! She hadn’t notice he had done so. He had taken her so swiftly.

Composing herself the best she could, she finally looked up to find him staring at her with that smile of his. He straightened his trousers and then extended his hand to her.

“I will see you back to your room.”

She nodded. She couldn’t find words to say. She couldn’t think. She didn’t know how she managed to climb the stairs or find her room. Opening the door slightly, she turned to say goodnight. He blocked the door.

“Oh, no, Harriet. I’m not done.”

He slipped inside and closed the door; with a click, he locked it. Mesmerized by the power he held over her, she accepted him back into her arms and into her bed.

Harriet awoke. The remembrance of the passionate night swept through her. Her hand swept the other side of her bed. She turned. He wasn’t there. She was alone
… alone with the consequences of her surrender.

She rose. She didn’t wait for Sadie to help her dress. She didn’t even know where her maid had gone to on this morn. She needed to breathe
… to think. She could not do so in this room. Grabbing her cloak, she exited the manor through the veranda. Taking the path down and around the lake, she gave no thought to where she headed.

A brisk wind greeted her when she paused at the lake’s bank. She pulled her cloak tighter around her and closed her eyes. For a brief moment, she was back on the shoreline, soaking in the ocean breeze instead of the lake’s wind. She was home
… just realizing how much she missed the place she had once lived… the person she once was...all had changed.

For years, she pushed forward, refusing to look back. She held to the dream of creating a world for Victoria. She promised her daughter the moment she held her, she would encompass the baby with a soothing conviction of love and protection from the outside world. Her heart sank with the realization she had failed. She had no one else to blame but
herself.

Her dreams held little to the reality of what awaited her. Her heart sank with the realization that her fantasy life collapsed around her. Four years ago, she had met her circumstance with the utmost forbearance. She had not cried nor
collapsed into vapors when all seemed at its darkest. She had been a fool to believe she could become this person, a prominent and respected gentlewoman, living out her life in a quiet country life. To her dismay, the lie she lived faded into the truth about herself.

“Harriet!”

A voice called to her. She made no movement and did not turn around. She wanted him only to disappear.

“Harriet,” Arthur said. “One would think you are not happy to see me.”

She glanced briefly over her shoulder, and then turned back toward the lake. A sudden thought occurred to her; a storm brewed. The once cloudless sky swirled, darkening the sky.

“Do you not think we need to talk?”

With a forced semblance of composure, she shook her head. “There is nothing to discuss. If there was, you would have stayed this morning instead of leaving me there to contemplate my actions. It was not hard to decipher your intent.”

“Tell me then, Harriet, what my intent was?” he asked with absolute steel beneath his tone. “Look at me.”

Slowly, she turned. Her heart skipped a beat. The look in his eyes conveyed his aggravation. She drew in a deep breath and gave him no ground. She may have surrendered to him in the cloak of darkness. She would not yield this day.

Dressed in a casual manner, he wore no waistcoat nor did he wear a hat. He must have followed her without taking
the time to ready himself. It made no difference. His mere presence undid her—standing beside her…too close…the passion spent the night before rushed through her, making her heart ache.

He reached for her. She backed up a step. “Don’t.”

“What the devil! What is wrong with you?”

“You dare ask
?”

“Tell me, Harriet. I thought perhaps you would be happy,” he said. He gave her no choice but to listen to him. He grasped hold of her shoulders. “For the life of me, what more do you want of me? I begged your forgiveness last night. I thought you forgave me.”

She stared into his eyes. Memories kept intruding into her fortitude. She closed her eyes and pushed back against him.

“You have not changed. You are still the arrogant, conceited oaf I left. This time, though, I can’t deny my actions. I have no excuse. You have
proved I am nothing more than your lover… mistress. Why… why did you come here? Why was it so important to ruin my life once more? I wanted only to give my daughter a respectable life. I didn’t want a cloud hovering over her, questioning…”

“By heavens, woman! You are the woman I love. I thought I made it clear to you how I feel. Nor would I ever condemn my daughter to such a life!”

“No… tell me why you took me as you did last night. Was it how you take someone you love or how you would take one’s mistress? Was it not to show me what I was… nothing more than…”

“Stop. Where are you getting this nonsense? I left you only because you were sleeping. I heard footsteps outside your door. I didn’t want to be found within your chamber. Did you want me to stay and be found?”

“No,” she uttered under her breath. “Of course not. But it changes nothing. My behavior was not that of a lady. Everything I had built, I lost in one moment of passion. I realized it when I woke this morning. I have no choice. I could not foist my behavior on a decent man.”

“Harriet, I plan
to meet with Mr. Padgett myself after confirming my plans with you. I won’t have anyone speaking to you in that manner, not even yourself…”

Shaking her head, Harriet interrupted, “It is you
who doesn’t understand. I’m not leaving Bagden Manor. It is the only life I can give Victoria. I’m not leaving Aunt Eleanor. There may be whispers after you depart but nothing that can be proved…”

“You are rambling, Harriet. We will…”

“We won’t, Arthur,” she said with conviction. “Why do you do this to me? I want only to be content in my life. That won’t happen with you here. I want you only to leave.”

“Harriet…”

His words died in the wind. Harriet looked up at him, but his eyes weren’t on her. She turned to see Sadie rushing toward them. Something was wrong. An ominous feeling of dread overcame her.

“Miss Harriet! Miss Harriet!” Sadie cried. Stumbling over her skirt, she hurried toward her mistress
, a look of panic plastered on her face. Breathlessly, she uttered, “Miss Victoria… is Miss Victoria with you?”

“Victoria?” Harriet questioned. “Victoria
… is with Miss Blake. I glanced at her briefly in the nursery this morning…”

Sadie shook her head. Her eyes widened in fear. “Oh, Miss Harriet. Miss Blake was found lying on the floor of the nursery. Her cup of tea spilled over the floor. We couldn’t wake her. Mrs. Spencer thinks
… thinks she’s been drugged in some fashion.” Sadie took a deep breath. Tears welled in her eyes. “We can’t find Miss Victoria. We’ve looked everywhere. She’s gone.”

A cold horror gripped Harriet. “No
… no… she has to be hiding, playing a game.”

“I don’t think so,” Sadie said. Her bottom lip quivering, her voice trembled. “The back entrance was ajar and
… Prince… we found him by the door—dead.”

“Oh,
Heaven above!” Harriet was stunned. Her legs weakened, held up only by strong arms wrapping around her waist. Unconsciously, she gripped his hand. “My baby.”

A gust of wind blew Harriet’s cloak wildly about her while Arthur saw her back to the manor. The storm on the horizon was upon them. Yet, Harriet gave the weather no notice. She was only vaguely aware of all commencing around her, having sunk into a walking unconsciousness.

Walking into the foyer, she heard voices
… people running about… muffled crying. A horrible realization surfaced that Victoria… her baby… was in terrible danger. Time was of the essence.

In her sight, she watched Arthur dominate the unfolding scene. Carlisle raced around
, calling for horses to be saddled and sent for men in the village. Somewhere in the midst of the chaos, Aunt Eleanor emerged, wrapping her arms about Harriet.

“Come, my dear,” Aunt Eleanor urged. “Let’s retire to the drawing room. There’s nothing more we can do but wait.

Harriet shook her head. “I can’t sit.”

Standing at the foot of the staircase, Harriet looked up to the upper floor.
Momma.
Harriet winced.
Victoria?
Her heart surged. Victoria had to be hiding. Her spirited daughter was playing a trick upon them all. It all had to be some awful misunderstanding.

Gripping tight
ly to the railing, Harriet ascended the staircase. Slowly, she took each step, listening intently for her daughter’s cry again. Someone called to her from the foyer. She ignored them and continued her path.

Voices
—she heard voices.
Momma. I want my momma.
 Her heart stopped and lodged in her throat. A shiver ran down Harriet’s spine as she came upon the nursery. With trembling hands, she turned the handle to the door.

Her heart palpations strengthened as trepidation filled her. The room had been ransacked
: The table overturned. The bookcase tilted from its position against the wall. Then she saw Victoria’s doll, broken, lying on the rug.

Harriet collapsed onto her knees.
Oh, God, no! Please no!
Then something caught her eye, a brass button like the one worn by the footmen. She reached over and picked it up.

Then all changed.

Harriet was no longer in the nursery. In truth, she didn’t know where she was. Before her was a mist, thick and heavy. She couldn’t see a thing until a figure emerged.

Madame Vadoma! The gypsy said nothing, but gestured for Harriet to follow. Her last words to Harriet resonated within Harriet.
 ‘You are afraid of what you don’t understand. There will come time when you will have to trust the unknown. Face your fear. It is a gift I have given you. Accept what is yours...’

Harriet followed. In her next breath, Harriet walked out of the mist…alone. Madame Vadoma had disappeared. Frantically, Harriet surveyed the scene before her. She stood outside within some sort of thicket, enclosed by a bombardment of trees
, well hidden. A dark cloud covered the sky. A brisk wind greeted her. In the distance, rushing water could be heard…but no Victoria.