Seduce Me Forever (Seduce Me #4) (3 page)

BOOK: Seduce Me Forever (Seduce Me #4)
11.63Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads
Chapter Six

 

Jeremy picked me up and we went for dinner at a small Italian restaurant near my hotel. He was wearing dark jeans and a polo shirt. He smelled of a pleasant cologne. I was determined that we were just going out as friends. But he was rather fetching.

“So, what's good here?” I asked Jeremy as we looked over our menus.

“The Chicken Parmesan is outstanding. But everything is good,” he replied.

“Actually, the Chicken Parm sounds perfect,” I said as I closed my menu and placed it to the side.

“I think we'll make that two Chicken parms. It's my favorite dish here,” he said with a smile. He had a nice smile. I caught myself staring at his mouth. Other than Brandon, he was the best kisser I ever dated.

“So, tell me how your meeting went at
Adele
,” he said as he placed his napkin in his lap.

I recounted my day. I didn't share the details of the salary, but told him that it was a very attractive offer.

The waiter brought us our wine and a basket of freshly baked bread. He took our dinner order and retreated to the kitchen. Jeremy raised his wine glass. I followed for a toast.

“Here's to an attractive job offer. And to dinner with an old friend,” said Jeremy. We touched glasses and took a sip of our wine.

“Ooh, this is tasty,” I said.

“It's their house special. It goes great with the Chicken Parmesan,” he said. “When do you need to give
Adele
your decision?”

“They gave me a week if I wanted to receive a signing bonus. I could probably have more time than that, without a bonus, but it was certainly intended that I let them know within a week,” I answered.

“Do you know which way you are leaning?”

“I really don't. I liked the people I met at
Adele
. I think they are a great company and I could be happy there.”

“It certainly sounds like they want you.”

“It's flattering. Most people would probably say that I'd be crazy not to take the job. But, I already have a great job that I love.”

“I, for one, would love to see you move out here. It would be nice to have a friend from home in L.A..”

“You're sweet,” I said. “How do you like living here?”

“I like it. The traffic can be a bear, but you learn to adjust your schedule to account for it. The weather is great.”

We chatted casually about how Jeremy found living in L.A.. He shared some of his favorite places to go and things to do. The entire time, however, I felt that he was a little nervous. I sensed he was hoping our evening would turn into more than friends.

I had already told myself that nothing was going to happen. I wondered if I could allow myself to question that decision. Even overturn it? Is that what I even wanted?

Too many questions. Not enough answers. If only my heart knew what it wanted. Confusion could very well lead to another night that I wasn't at all convinced I wanted to happen. Why did Jeremy have to be so nice and so damn cute?

Thankfully, our dinner arrived. It allowed us to talk casually while we concentrated on our meals. When we finished eating and the waiter had cleared our table, Jeremy let out a deep breath.

“Ashley, I know what we said the last time we were together . . .” he began.

“Jeremy, wait,” I said. “I think I know what you are going to say. I don't want to lead you on in any way. You are a wonderful guy. But right now, I don't know what decision I am going to make. If I take the job at
Adele
. . ., well, maybe we can revisit what our relationship can be beyond friends. I just don't know what I want right now and that wouldn't be fair to you.”

“I figured that's where you were with all of this. What I wanted to say is that I didn't see anything wrong with our having another night together. No strings attached. I know how much I've wanted that again. I thought maybe you might as well,” he said.

“Jeremy, I honestly don't know what I want.”

“Do you regret our having sex?”

“No. Regret isn't the right word.”

“Was it a mistake, then?”

“I wouldn't say that, either.”

Jeremy was getting a bit agitated. He was probably more flustered than anything else. But he clearly wanted to have sex with me again. I don't think he was thinking beyond that.

“Then what was it for you?” he asked.

“It was a nice evening of sex,” I replied.

“What would be wrong with another nice evening of sex?”

“It would confuse things for me. Jeremy, I have a major decision to make and it isn't just professional. Having sex with you would only cloud my thinking.”

“It's Brandon, isn't it?” Jeremy asked.

“Yes. I'm trying to work out if I can trust my heart to him again. I'm trying to figure out if he is the man I truly want to be with. Sex with you, or anyone else, doesn't help me make that decision.”

“You're right. I'm sorry that I even brought it up. I hope I didn't ruin the evening.”

“No. Not at all. Dinner was lovely. It's nice seeing you,” I said. “Jeremy, if I wasn't trying to sort all of this out. . .”

“You don't need to say any more. I get it.”

“How about dessert?” I asked.

Jeremy agreed and we enjoyed our dessert and a cup of coffee.

We walked back to my hotel. I gave Jeremy a hug in the lobby and thanked him for dinner. I told him I would let him know what I decided about the job. Regardless of my decision, we agreed to keep in touch.

I watched Jeremy exit the hotel lobby. There was a part of me that could see myself with him. I just wasn't convinced that it was a big enough part of me.

Chapter Seven

 

I went back to my room and slipped out of my clothes. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I pulled out my pajamas and put them on. My cellphone rang.

I picked it up. It was Brandon. My pulse quickened. I was trying to decide if I should answer.

“Hello,” I said.

“Ashley, I heard that you are out of town until late Monday. Is everything okay?”

“Yes. Everything is fine. I just needed a long weekend away.”

“To think?” he asked.

I didn't want to lie. I also couldn't tell him that I had visited
Adele
and was considering a job offer. I was away. And I was thinking about things. So, I guess I could answer 'yes'.”

“For the most part. Some distance does help.”

“How much distance?” he asked.

“If you want to know where I am, why don't you just ask?”

“Would you tell me?”

“Probably not.”

“That's why I didn't ask.”

I had to smile at that remark. I sat in the comfy chair and crossed my legs. “Criss cross Applesauce” a teacher had once said about sitting in a circle for story time. Strange how, and when, certain things come back to you.

“So you figured you would ask a series of leading questions to figure it out?”

“Seemed like a good as plan as any,” Brandon said. “Look, Ashley, I'm worried about you. I want to know that you are alright.”

“I think that 'alright' is a bit relative for me right now. I'm getting through my days and trying to come to some decisions,” I offered.

“Do any of those decisions include us?” he asked.

I paused for a moment. How much did I want to get into this at that moment? Was I ready to have another conversation with Brandon about 'us'?

“It's part of a larger whole,” I finally said.

“Are you thinking of leaving your job?” he asked. I doubted he knew about my meeting with
Adele
or their offer. But he was a smart businessman. He read people extremely well. It was probably only natural, given the situation, that I might consider working someplace else. 

He could tell that I was hesitating.

“You don't have to answer that,” he said to break the silence. “Just be honest with me. Are you doing okay? At least okay enough?”

“Yes. Okay enough.” That was the absolute truth. I wasn't particularly happy. I wouldn't even say that I was content. But life wasn't terrible either. Could be much worse.
Okay enough
seemed about right.

“Well, I guess that has to be good enough. At least for now,” he said.

“I guess,” I said. I missed him. Hearing his voice and the genuine concern he expressed made me realize it. I still didn't know if I could be with him again, but I did miss him.

“I should let you go. Enjoy the rest of your long weekend. I hope you have a chance to figure some things out.” I could tell that he didn't want to get off the phone. He almost seemed vulnerable.

“Brandon?”

“Yes?”

“Are you doing okay?”

There was some silence on the phone as he paused to consider my question. I don't think he was expecting it. I'm not sure I planned on asking it. But I did want to know.

“I'm doing . . . okay enough,” he replied.

“I'm in Los Angeles,” I offered. I didn't know what else to say and I didn't want the call to end. The thought of hanging up and being alone in my hotel room made me feel not just alone, but lonely.

Maybe what my parents had said earlier was influencing my decision. Maybe it was the direction I had always been moving in. Probably a little of both. What I felt was that I wasn't ready to let go of Brandon. Maybe my heart could risk be broken again if it meant a chance of finding lasting happiness with him.

“You could come to L.A.. Maybe we could head over to Lusso in Santa Barbara,” I suggested.

“Is that what you really want?” he asked.

“Long term? I still need to figure that out. But I want to see you. I want to take a step toward you.”

“Where are you staying?

“The Grand Hotel.”

“I can be there in under an hour.”

“What? You are in L.A.?”

“Yes. I can explain when I get there. Assuming you want me to come over.”

“I'll see you when you get here. Room 735.”

“I'm glad you want to see me. I want to make all of this right between us. See you in a little while.”

We ended our call. I felt a rush of excitement. I was curious as to why Brandon was in Los Angeles, but that was secondary. A distant second to the fact that I would be with him  within the hour.

I didn't have anything sexy to wear. I wasn't planning on sexy this weekend. I debated if I should purchase something from the hotel shop. I decided to just go with my sheep pajamas.

A good test of how much Brandon wanted to make it work between us. Comfy Ashley vs. sex goddess Ashley. We had things to discuss, but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to end up in bed with him.

I was a bit anxious, so I put on the television to occupy my time until he arrived. I flipped through the channels and couldn't find anything that I wanted to watch. I left the TV on some documentary about cats. It ranged from lions and tigers to domestic kitties.

After about 45 minutes I heard a knock at the door. I turned off the television and  padded over to the door. I peeked through the peep hole. I assumed it was Brandon, but you can never be too safe. I instantly honed in on Brandon's dreamy blue eyes and his gorgeous face. He had a five o'clock shadow that was totally sexy.

I opened the door and he stepped in carrying an overnight bag.

“Just in case,” he said as he held up the bag.

I closed the door behind him. He was unsure how to greet me, so I stretched up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He looked amazing. As he always did. He was wearing khaki pants and a New York Yankees t-shirt. It was a snug fit on his muscular torso.

“It's good to see you,” I said. “We'll see about the overnight bag.”

“Fair enough. It's wonderful to see you, Ashley. I've missed you this past week.”

“Let's sit,” I said motioning to the couch in the sitting area. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“No, thank you. I like the pajamas,” he remarked with a warm smile.

“I wasn't planning on entertaining anyone this weekend.”

“Ashley, you look cute in whatever you have on.”

“I'm glad you are here, but why are you here? In L.A., I mean?” I asked after we sat down next to each other on the couch.

“To be honest, I came in hopes that you would want to see me.”

“You came to L.A. just to see me? How did you know I was here? You're not bugging me or having me followed, are you?”

“A lot of questions there, Ashley. Yes, I did come to L.A. in hopes of seeing you. If you didn't want to see me, I would have gone back to New York. No, I am not bugging you, nor am I having you followed.”

“Then, how did you know I would be here? Did you talk to Chelsea?”

“No. I did not speak with Chelsea. I get the distinct impression she is not fond of me at the moment.”

“That would be true.”

“I have to admit, she frightens me a little.”

“Don't feel bad, she has that affect on a lot of people. But only when she wants to. She is also a real sweetheart. You just don't want to cross her. You crossed her by hurting me.”

Brandon simply nodded in agreement with everything that I had said.

“Ashley, I knew you were in L.A. because I heard about your meeting at
Adele
. I'm not upset about that. In fact, I will fight to keep you at
Jacqueline
. Regardless of what happens between us personally, you are too vital to the company to let you walk away.”

“How did you know I was meeting with
Adele
? I can't imagine it would be in their interest for you to find out before I accepted their offer.”

“They didn't tell me. Not formally. At our levels, the fashion media world is relatively small. People like to gossip. It is practically impossible for an executive at one magazine to meet with another magazine without the rumor mill starting to churn.”

“I guess I never thought much about that. You have to understand that they contacted me. If things hadn't been the way they are between us, I would have flat out rejected a meeting or any offer. But, given our situation, I figured it didn't hurt to explore my options.”

“I understand. And, like I said, I will fight to keep you. That part is business and it is good for my business to have you employed at
Jacqueline
and not our competition. So, whatever they have offered I will beat it. I hope that will be enough to convince you to stay.”

“I haven't made any decision yet. But that is good to know. But it isn't even really about the job.”

“I know that.”

“Brandon, it's always been about us. Whether I can trust you again. Whether I can risk you hurting me again.”

“I can't promise that you will never get hurt. In the same way that you can't promise that you will never hurt me. Relationships aren't all roses and champagne. But I will never cheat on you again. That I do promise.”

“So, you want a relationship with me? You are willing to work at a completely honest relationship? Committed to just me?”

“Yes. Ashley, I hate that I hurt you like I did. I've been a mess without you. From the very beginning I have been infatuated with you. I hoped that you could be the woman I would break my rules for. And you were. You are.”

“The rules of just sex? No relationships? No actually sleeping in the same bed?”

“Yes. I broke the first rule with you our very first night. All the others were quickly broken. And I don't regret that. Not for one second.”

“Except the one time.”

“I never regretted being in a relationship with you. Having sex with Jessica was a mistake. A mistake I will never make again. Not with her, not with any other woman. I only want to be with you. Ashley, I love you.”

Neither of us had said those three words to each other before. I had felt them, but I was afraid to say them for fear of driving Brandon away too soon. But now he had said them first.
I LOVE YOU
. The most powerful three words in the English language.

“I love you, too.”

BOOK: Seduce Me Forever (Seduce Me #4)
11.63Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Something Wicked by Sterling, Jillian
Death of a Peer by Ngaio Marsh
Young Wives' Tales by Adele Parks
Waiting For Him by Denise Johnson
The Texas Billionaire's Baby by Karen Rose Smith
Heaven's Door by Michael Knaggs
Landry in Like by Krysten Lindsay Hager