Rise of the Sparrows (Relics of Ar'Zac #1) (18 page)

Two weeks had passed since Cephy had left Rachael. Cale had given up his search after the first, and she knew there was nothing more they could do. Knowing it and accepting it, however, were two separate things, and Rachael struggled to understand why Cephy had run away. Just where did she think she could run to? Her parents had cast her out, and Arlo likely had better things to do. Aeron wasn’t an option, the way she had treated her. Cephy had nowhere to go. So where was she off to? The question bugged Rachael more every day that she was gone.

“Rachael?” Ailis' voice pulled her back from her thoughts. Cale’s sister sat opposite her on the floor in her room, trying her best to help Rachael find the source of her magic inside her. Rachael hadn’t felt as much as a tiny spark.

“I'm sorry. Let's start again.”

Ailis sighed. “No, Rachael, you need a break. You've been pushing yourself since... since you met the Sparrows.”

“And it's done me no good, has it? I'm not doing enough, I'm still of no use to any of you!” Least of all to Cephy, but she wasn’t about to say it. Ailis was doing her best not to bring it up, and neither would Rachael. There was nothing she could do about it now. Her lessons were the only thing she could focus on.

“That's not true. Who's to say that you'll even need magic to defeat King Aeric? All these lessons might be unnecessary.” Hollow words, Rachael was sure. How else was she supposed to reach the best guarded man in this country? His guards were not about to just let her walk right up to him and wait as she killed him. Even if they did, he would know how to defend himself. Getting close enough to try was one issue, but actually defeating him was another problem.

“You know that's not true.” People kept lying to her, telling her she wasn’t useless, promising they wouldn’t leave while she made no progress and Cephy was still missing. Just once she wanted them to be honest with her.

“I know that prophecy is rarely specific. It only named you as the one to kill the King. It didn’t say how you would accomplish that.”

Rachael sighed. Ailis had a point, but try as she might she couldn’t picture his defeat without magic.

“Is Cale outside?”

Ailis hesitated. “He went into the White City about an hour ago to buy supplies. Why do you ask?”

Rachael got up, desperate for fresh air. “Because I want to be alone for a while.”

With long rushed steps Rachael walked away from the house. Living with Cale and Ailis had been great at first, but now their house was nothing but a reminder of everything that she wasn't. She wasn't good enough for the Sparrows or their belief in her, she hadn't been good enough for Cephy to stay, and she definitely wasn't good enough to go through with their crazy plan. Even Ailis had given up on her learning magic. Why else would she say that the lessons might be unnecessary? Rachael was no closer now to finding the source of magic within herself than she had been as a new-born baby. She wasn't going to find it tomorrow, either, or any time soon. Why continue the lessons at all?

She wanted to help the Sparrows, make their sacrifices mean something, but she couldn’t see how she was supposed to do that. Defending herself against robbers and rapists was easy. How could she hope to defend herself against a Mist Woman and a well-protected king?

The night Cephy had run away Rachael had hoped that she had merely stepped out for a bit, maybe had gone to the nearby lake. However, two weeks later, Rachael couldn’t pretend that this was what had happened any more. Cephy had left her, her reasons her own.

Rachael scowled. The reasons didn't matter. Cephy had promised she wouldn't leave Rachael – the one person she had trusted – and now she had done it after all. And if she couldn’t trust her, she certainly couldn’t trust Cale and Ailis. Better to expect the inescapable, than to spend her life hoping for something that would never happen.

Rachael fell onto the grass by the lake, ignoring the pain it caused when her body hit the ground. Spring had come early this year. Its heavy downpours had washed away the last remains of the snow and the sun was beginning to gain in strength, but it was still cold outside and the ground hadn’t thawed all the way yet. Disappointed and frustrated, she looked around. Cephy had been able to sense nearby animals. All Rachael could do was see the birds sitting in the nearby tree, and watch the rabbit on the other side of the lake drinking the chilled water. Without her sight she wouldn’t have known they were there.

Cephy had known, her eyes opened or not.

She picked up a nearby rock and threw it as far as she could into the water, watching it sink as small ripples spread over the smooth surface. Cale should have picked Cephy. The girl was much better suited to this role, regardless of what prophecy said. Although she hated to admit it, part of it had come true already—Cephy had betrayed her by leaving. Maybe what Cale had said held some truth, after all. Maybe Cephy was the Fox his Sparrows were so scared of.

She relaxed into the cold grass, shielding her eyes from the sun shining through the otherwise thick leaves overhead. The Sparrows didn’t have to worry about Cephy anymore. Wherever she was, she didn’t care what happened here.

“Rachael?” She jumped up at the sudden intrusion. Behind her stood Cale, his eyes clouding over as his frown deepened.

“Cale! Can't you—” She couldn’t ask him to knock since she was outside, but she felt like he should have said something. Something gentle, so she wouldn't jump.

He smiled apologetically, walking closer now that she knew he was here. “Ailis said you had gone out for a bit, to clear your head.”

“I was.” She frowned, wishing he would leave again so she could get back to pitying herself.

“Look, if you need to talk to someone, I can—”

“If you wanted to talk, Cale, you should have talked to Cephy.” Her words were sharper than she had intended, but they were out now and she wasn’t going to take them back. It was her fault Cephy was gone, but Cale and Ailis hadn’t helped.

She was surprised to see him look defeated. His shoulders slumped forward as he slowly sank to the ground. “I'm sorry” he said, moving into a more comfortable position. “I know we weren't fair on her.”

“Being sorry now won't bring her back.”

“I know. I tried to find her, Rachael—you’ve got to believe me. Once someone leaves the White City it can be hard to track them. There are so many different roads she could have taken, all of which split into even more roads. Unless someone followed in the shadows as she was leaving it's next to impossible to track her down.”

She closed her eyes, feeling defeated. He'd explained this so often to her over the past two weeks, but it didn’t help. She no longer believed the words. She never really had.

“Are you sure that's why you haven't found her?” she asked with sudden realisation.

“Of course that's why. What other reason would there be?”

“That prophecy! That stupid thing naming her as the Fox! You said yourself the other Sparrows wouldn’t trust her if they knew who she is! How can I know that you trusted her? Are you relieved she's gone, Cale, so she can't interfere in this ridiculous plot of yours?”

“Rachael, I would never—”

“Wouldn't you? I don't even know you! Or Ailis! Or Arlo! All of you are strangers to me! Cephy was all I had, and now she's gone and left me and you're happy that she's gone!” No longer able to stop herself, Rachael started crying. The tears she had held back for so long finally fell freely, blurring her vision. She barely made out Cale's silhouette coming closer until his arms wrapped around her, holding her close as she cried.

“Let me go!” Struggling to break free against his stronghold she pulled and scratched his skin and punched his chest, but it was no use. Cale was much stronger than her and refused to humour her so she could run off, too.

She thought she might have tried, had she been able to move without his permission.

Cale didn’t say a word. He simply held her until her struggle ended and she sank into his arms, crying until there were no tears left.

Life had tried hard to get her to this point but now, after years of trying, it had finally succeeded in breaking her.

“You're wrong” Cale said, not waiting for a reply before continuing. “Cephy was not all you had. You have me, and you have Ailis. I know Arlo is far away right now but you should know that you'll always find refuge in his home should you need it. None of us would turn you away if only you asked for help.”

She wanted to hate him—how she wanted to punch him and make him stop!—but she couldn't. All his words did was make her hurt a little more. The fight had drained out of her, leaving her hanging limp in his arms.

“I know there's nothing I can say to change your mind, but let me show you that I'm not lying.”

“How?” He made it sound so easy. As if someone like her could just ask a stranger for help and receive it, too; as if there was anything he could do—anything at all—and she'd believe him. Was life really so simple for some people? She doubted kindness like that truly existed, for people like her. People with magic. Homeless, orphaned people with magic, who had grown up in the dirt and had to hope for other people's leftovers just to live another day.

“I don't know. I would put down my life to save yours, but I would prefer not to get you into such a situation in the first place. Just look at where you are. You are right outside the White City. King Aeric is not far inside those walls, and his guards are stationed all over the city. If I wanted to betray you I could have turned you in when we first arrived here. King Aeric would pay a lot of gold just for a hint about your location. Just imagine what he would pay me if I handed you over!”

“You wouldn't. I know where the Sparrows are hiding.” She was sick of his excuses. How had she been fooled by his lies for so long?

“My Sparrows have more than one hideout, Rachael. Not all of them are here, in the capital. If I wanted to turn you in I would ask them to move out first. Your information would gain King Aeric nothing.”

Her legs shaking she sank deeper into his strong embrace, hating herself for not being able to break free. How was she supposed to assassinate the best protected man in the country? She couldn’t even escape one man's arms.

“You're lying.” Her voice had lost all energy along with the rest of her.

“I'm not. If you want I'll show you where our other hideouts are. I'll take you to each of them personally, and you can stay for as long as it takes to convince yourself that they truly are ours.”

“Why—” She had pegged him for a better strategist than that.

“Because Rachael, while you don't trust me, I trust you. And I know of no other way to prove it to you short of dying to protect you. As I mentioned earlier, I'd rather not get us into that position, although I expect we won't have a choice soon enough. We're fighting the King, after all. When the time comes I hope my actions will change your mind.”

Her heart clenched. She didn’t want Cale to die, least of all because of her. He could lead an army. He was important. She was just another unwanted orphan from Blackrock.

“I'm truly sorry about Cephy. I tried everything I could, but she could be anywhere by now.” At last, she believed him. “I know you're upset about what happened, you have every reason to be, but I need you to move on, Rachael. Cephy isn't coming back. She's a smart girl—she'll get by. Wherever she is, you know better than anyone that she can defend herself.”

Rachael forced a smile. If anyone could look after themselves in a dangerous situation it was Cephy.

Still, moving on was easier said than done.

“You have been a great friend to Cephy while you were together, but she is old enough to make her own decisions.”

“She's a child!”

“And mature beyond her years. She would not have left if she hadn’t thought it the best decision.”

As much as she hated to admit it, Cale was right. Cephy was young, but she was not stupid. The time they had spent together had helped her grow up faster than she should have done. Cephy could look after herself, and not in small measures thanks to everything Rachael had taught her. If Cephy pulled through and made it somewhere on her own, she knew that it would be partly because of her.

“I don't think I can do this, Cale,” said Rachael, bracing herself for his reaction.

“Okay.”

Stunned, she let him hold her while his response sank in. She had expected a lecture or a speech, not acceptance.

“I don't understand prophecy fully, Rachael. I only know that we have given up before, and in doing so we fulfilled a prophecy we didn't believe we'd be able to achieve. Sometimes it's not how hard you try that matters. Sometimes you just need to accept things as they are, and work with what you've got. I don't care that you can't find the source of your magic. If you don't kill King Aeric with magic maybe you'll stab him with a dagger instead. Maybe, by the time you face him, he’ll be so terrified of the predicted outcome that he will take a few steps backwards, and fall out of a window breaking his neck. Don't worry about the how, Rachael. I believe in you, even if you don't. Prophecy will see itself fulfilled, one way or another.”

Rachael couldn’t remember the last time she had been held like this. It was nice, and comforting. Knowing that he didn’t care whether she learned to control her magic or not was soothing. She wanted to believe him, even trust him and Ailis, and for the first time since they had met she thought that maybe, she actually could.