Pretend Mom (19 page)

His blue chambray shirt was slightly
soiled with a day's sweat, and his eyes lacked humor. She supposed
she shouldn't try to be funny.

"Don't you think Kevin, or Bernie might
be better at this than me, Mike?" she asked as he continued to drag
her along.

He stopped and looked directly at her.
"Could be, but Bernie's gone."

"Gone? You mean they've left without
me?" she shrieked, looking behind her as if she might see the house
in the distance.

"Looks that way, doesn't it?" A tired
smile filtered across his exhausted features. "Maybe they thought
you'd want to visit a little longer."

"What about Kevin?"

"He's not much better than you, and
besides, I'm not walking back there to get him. Stop fretting. I'll
take you home, later."

"I'm not fretting. I just didn't think
you wanted me around, the way you've been acting lately. You
haven't exactly been in the best of moods, you know?"

He ignored her comment. "Tell you what,
you check out that area over there, behind those trees, and yell if
you spot her."

"But …" she cried as he started walking
away from her, "what does she look like?"

He stopped, dead in his tracks, turned
and smiled bigger than Texas. "She's a real pretty cream color with
the biggest, prettiest, brown eyes you've ever seen," he said with
a slight chuckle.

Dixie stood watching him move away
again, flabbergasted. "Biggest, prettiest brown, eyes," she mocked.
Half an hour later, she spotted the big mother cow, laying flat
against a small ravine. She heard a soft moan, and felt an
immediate pull of sympathy. What was it about birthing a baby that
had all women responding with emotion? "Mike. Mike! Over
here!"

In seconds, Mike appeared at her side.
He shook his head. "Oh, man, it's too late to move her. Impossible.
I'll check her, and see what we've got."

Mike did a thorough examination, his
facial expression changing from bad to worse. When he finally stood
up, he motioned for Dixie to come closer. "Look, it's bad. I don't
want to lose her, Dixie. Now, I want you to go to Kevin's and get
some supplies. Bring a lantern and some clean rags from the house.
June will get them for you. I'll need water and antiseptic, and
bring Kevin back with you."

"But—"

"Go on, times a wasting, and
listen—Kevin's got some overalls in the house, tell him to let you
borrow them. Now run along, we don't have a lot of time. I think
I'm going to have to turn the calf. It's breech."

He rolled up his sleeves and squatted
next to Buttercup. The old cow looked at him thoughtfully, as
though she thoroughly trusted him. Dixie envied the cow at that
moment. Being taken care of by Mike must be heaven.

All the way back to Kevin's, Dixie
thought about the gentle way Mike had handled the cow, just like he
handled her. What a great vet he would have made.

Dixie ran to the house, told June what
was happening and June hurried to get the needed supplies. "But
Kevin's gone to town again. He won't be back until
late."

"Oh, dear. Then I guess I'll just have
to help Mike the best I can."

"Do you want me to go with you?" June
asked.

"No, you have your hands full with
Buckie. I'll go. Can I borrow Kevin's overalls?"

"Sure, I'll get them." June went into
their bedroom and came back out with the overalls.

Dixie stuffed her denim skirt inside
the overalls and pulled them up. She rolled the legs up and pinned
the sides together with the safety pins June brought
her.

It was nearly dark by the time Dixie
returned. Mike was having a time. He looked exhausted. He had tried
to turn the calf by himself, but it had been an impossible task.
Relief washed over his face when Dixie came running up with all the
supplies.

"I want you to talk to her, Dixie.
Softly. Just sit here, beside her, and talk in a low, comforting
tone to her. I've got to go back in and tie the rope around the
calf so we can pull it out. She's so tensed up, it isn't helping
the situation."

"We?" she shrieked, her face going
pale.

"We," he affirmed. Giving her a look of
complete confidence he smiled.

"Okay," Dixie replied, taking in a deep
breath. She did exactly as Mike directed, trying to ease the
suffering of the old cow as best she could. The cow looked grateful
with her big brown eyes. Mike was right—she did have the prettiest
brown eyes.

Minutes later Mike instructed her to
grab the rope behind him and help him pull. Together they strained
and pulled for what seemed like an hour. The old cow grunted just
before she delivered. Dixie had never seen such a sight in her
life. The miracle of life, even from a cow seemed very precious.
With tears of joy she jumped up, and grabbed Mike, hugging and
kissing him and laughing as she pointed to the beautiful, clumsy
newborn calf.

"Oh, Mike, she's beautiful," she said
moving toward mother and baby.

Mike nodded. "She sure is. But there
isn't time for a celebration now. We've got a lot of cleaning up to
do."

"What are you going to name
her?"

"I don't know. Got any
ideas?"

"Butternut."

"Butternut … I like that."

Later, after securing the mother and
calf for the night and washing up, Mike drove Dixie home, with
Mandy between them. He stopped the truck just short of her house,
and looked at her. Mandy was nearly asleep, and he scooted her over
towards him. "Thanks for the help. You were pretty fantastic,
tonight. I couldn't have done it without you."

"You're welcome, but I don't think I
did much. It was all your work. You must be exhausted—and so proud.
You would have made a great vet, Mike. Why don't you go back to
school?"

Mandy yawned, and leaned over on Dixie
for support.

"Believe it or not, if you hadn't
calmed her, she'd have never made it. I guess when it comes to
giving birth, all females are alike." He leaned against the window
of the truck and smiled at her.

He hadn't answered her question and she
didn't pursue it. "Did you see Amanda being born?"

"No, Connie's parents threw a fit when
I told Connie I wanted to."

"What a shame. Where are they
now?"

"They live in Cleveland, except when
they're vacationing in Florida. Which is most of the time now. They
don't have much time for their granddaughter. They're jet setters.
I guess that's why Mandy adopted your mom. She doesn't really know
her grandparents at all. She was too little the last time she saw
them."

"That's a shame."

"Depends on how you look at it," Mike
affirmed, guiding Mandy back towards him. "I never got along with
them very well. They always thought their daughter could have done
better than a rancher."

"Are you still angry with me?" she
asked.

He looked away. "I'm not
angry."

"You were."

"Okay, you want the truth? I was angry.
I saw how it was with you and Kevin today. And despite the fact
that I think you're wrong for him. I'll keep out of it, this time.
But he and June have been very happy, he's got a career in
government ahead of him, and now you come back into the
picture...well, you can see why I was concerned. Still
am."

"But, Mike, you don't
understand—"

"Maybe, but there is something you have
to know. Something I have to say."

"I'm listening."

"Seven years ago, I butted into
something that was none of my business. And I never told you why. I
guess I never understood why myself until I saw you standing there
alone at the airport. It all fit into place for me then. The reason
I grabbed that blanket and whirled you back to your house that
night was because … because I wanted you. I'm the one that
reacted."

Dixie was stunned.

"I didn't know it at the time. All I
could think of was that it was all so wrong. Kevin was such a wet
behind the ears kind of guy back then and you had just shaken him
up so badly I wasn't sure he could go on. He wanted you too, that
night. But only for a few minutes. Only until sanity prevailed.
I've been jealous of him all this time, and didn't realize it.
Because I felt something for you myself. Even more so, since you've
come back. I know we're worlds apart—"

"Mike, I—"

"No, don't say anything. You were right
about that. I live here in a one-horse town, with nothing more to
offer you than a life as the wife of a rancher, and a ready-made
family. You have an important career. Something you're good
at—that's right for you. That's your world, there in New York. Mine
is here. I love you, Dixie. But now I know, you still love Kevin
and it will never work—for you or for me. Not that it would ever
work for you and Kevin either. I think he's driven to become a
senator and I'll bet on that."

"Mike, wait—"

"It's too late. I've waited too long to
tell you how I really feel. I was hoping, once you'd seen Kevin,
you'd realize it was a childhood fantasy. You've outgrown this
town, and me. I'd hoped I'd outgrown you, but I haven't. I suppose
it was inevitable. If you can't have Kevin, you'll probably settle
for Ed. I'm sure he loves you, too. I imagine that most men who
meet you must fall in love with you to some degree. I wish I'd made
love to you a long time ago." He paused to close Dixie's dropped
jaw. "And stop looking so shocked, sweetheart. I wanted you then,
just like I want you now."

Dixie opened her mouth to say
something, but Mike held up his hand in protest.

"No, please let me finish," he said. "I
married Connie on the rebound. I loved her as a person, but my
feelings for her couldn't begin to compare to what I felt for you."
He paused again and scratched his head. "What I'm trying to tell
you, Dixie, is that I've given up."

Given up? Had he really ever started?
He never came right out and said he loved her before. Why couldn't
he see things the way they really were? Her thoughts screamed so
clearly, I love you Mike! She said instead, "Goodnight, Mike
…"

She couldn't stay there in the truck
that close to him, and not fall into his arms, confessing her love
for him. It was clear to her that he'd never believe her,
anyway.

How could he possibly believe that she
loved Kevin when her kisses said otherwise? Trust—that was why.
Mike didn't trust her.

***

The day of the wedding came and nothing
went right. Turmoil prevailed. The boys couldn't find their ties,
Emily couldn't zip her dress, the car wouldn't start—nothing went
right.

Still, one by one the problems began to
resolve themselves. After an entire search of the house, the ties
turned up under the sofa cushions in the living room, where the
boys had stuffed them last Sunday. Dixie managed to fix Emily's
zipper, and the boys finally got the car started by using an old
set of jumper cables they found buried under rubble in the
garage.

Wringing her hands, Emily fretted.
"It's an omen."

"No it's just a bad case of nerves for
all of us," Dixie replied simply.

Despite the problems, Emily never
looked lovelier in her turquoise suit and dainty pillbox hat with
its delicate veil. She looked vibrant, beautiful, and almost young
again.

The chapel was adorned with pink and
white orchids, and pink carnations, giving off a lovely fragrance.
With her vacation almost over, Dixie hungered for the sight of
Mike. He hadn't been around since the night they delivered Old
Buttercup's calf together.

It had been a lovely fantasy, thinking
they might actually get together. But time was running out. Mike
had said he loved her—the problem was he didn't trust
her.

The music started, and Dixie marched
down the aisle, wishing it were her getting married. What a
dream!

As she took her place by the altar, she
saw Mike for the first time in days, bringing Emily down the aisle.
His navy suit, light blue shirt, and Texas tie gave him an air of
sophistication. Tawny gold eyes searched her out, and welded her to
the spot. Her heart stopped, fluttered, melted, and ached all in
one.

Couldn't he read it in her
eyes?

Mandy looked lovely as the flower girl,
displaying a shy smile as she scattered petals down the aisle. Her
light blue dress swished as she walked, the petticoats rustling.
The ceremony blurred as the minister's words scorched Dixie's heart
and brain. "Wilt thou love him, cherish him, and keep thee only
unto thine self." Dixie couldn't stop herself from seeking Mike
out. Their gazes locked. A lump in Dixie's throat lodged, choking
her. A tear rolled down her cheek, for what might have
been.

She'd have given up her career to be
his wife and Mandy's mother—if he'd have asked her. She'd have
loved him and Mandy. Why couldn't he trust her enough to realize
that?

I love you, too, her heart cried as she
gazed at him. Did he hear her? No, not judging from his serious
expression. Before she could fully absorb the ceremony, it was over
and her mother was gliding down the aisle on Bernie's arm—smiles
lighting their way, rice going everywhere.