Playing for Hearts (77 page)

Drew's breath came heavy over the phone. “Do what you have to do. I trust you.”

“I know you do, but—”

“Listen. Angie's an adult. You know if I stepped into her life and told her how to live it she'd kick my ass and make sure I suffered for a week,” Drew said. “Maybe you should keep your plan from her. It might go over smoother.”

“Right…”

“Just don't play her. You're family and the bottom line is, I don't want something to happen where one of you gets hurt, and it breaks up my family. You get me?” Drew waited for his answer.

“I hear you.” He pushed off the railing.

“Okay.”

Gary stretched his back. “Thanks for talking to me.”

“No problem. Talk to you later.”

“Bye.” He hung up.

Gary stared at the sliding door. Instead of coming clean, he'd stepped right into the fire. Though if he did pretend Angie belonged to him it'd keep the other guys away. But…

He cussed under his breath.

He couldn't spread rumors and his hands were tied in the situation. The players had a contract that they wouldn't become involved with any of the employees of the Seattle Seahawks.
Shit.

Why hadn't he realized that sooner? He knew the rules. Angie was off limits. If they even suspected they were dating, Angie would lose her job.

Angie paced the length of Gary's bedroom, nibbling on the corner of her fingernail. Determination fueled her. She was going to have to pump up her attempt. Gary needed to know she was open and willing to start a relationship with him.

No one night stand. No fling for the rest of their time together. No weekend dating. She wanted him permanently in her life. Yes, her decision to go for it with him had come out of the blue. She could no more explain her reasons of upsetting her life by loving a professional athlete and friend than she could her irrational fear of feeling like if she didn't do something right this minute, she'd lose him.

The sliding door slid open. Gary stopped inside the bedroom at the sight of her.

She pointed to the huge monstrosity taking up most of the room. “Lay on your bed.”

He raised his brows and stayed in the same spot, not moving an inch. The heat from his gaze scorched her. With her own desire staring back at her, she knew exactly what she had to do. She held out her hand. When he took a step forward and latched on to her, she led him to the bed.

A low hum came from Gary, resembling a growl. She pushed him forward and he fell flat on his stomach, the towel around his hips landing on the floor. Before she chickened out, she climbed on top of him and sat on his bare ass.

“Ang?” he mumbled into the mattress. “Doing?”

“Giving you a hundred and fifty dollar massage.” She placed her hands on his back.

Behind him, she smiled, proud that she'd wrangled him into bed, naked and hot. She ignored the fact she was too afraid to blurt out the truth. She was talented with her hands, and she'd let her fingers do her talking for her. By the time she finished, if Gary hadn't rolled over and confessed his true feelings, she would know all was lost between them.

She spread her fingers wide and swept the flat of her palm along the length of his back. She swallowed hard. His warm skin, hard muscles, and broad width gave her a large area to work on. She slowly loosened his muscles, taking her time on his lower back, running her hands over the slight indention, taking in his narrow hips, his waist, and how his upper back flared wider with the heavy muscles.

Gary moaned. She leaned forward, rounding his shoulders with the palm of her hands. Pressure from the heel of her palm followed the large cord leading up to his neck. The tension eased under her touch. Soon she moved through the motions automatically, while she let her gaze wander along his body.

She'd recognize Gary in a crowd. Probably even in a dark room. But she'd never seen him naked. Not even when she'd followed him and Drew around, tagging their every step, when she was in high school and they went to the lake and went skinny-dipping. To her disappointment, they'd found her in the back of Drew's old pickup and forced her to sit in the cab of the truck until they were finished.

A tan line ended above his buttocks. She trailed her finger over the line. Unable to take a deep breath, she said, “You're tense.”

He nodded against the blanket without saying a word. Hand over hand, she pressed on a half turn of her wrist, bringing circulation to the surface, feeding his muscles the extra blood flow and oxygen they needed to unconstrict. A quiver rolled through her and she leaned forward until her breasts brushed his back. Her hands rubbed over his biceps, his forearms, his wrists, until their upper bodies lined up perfectly. Then she worked her way back until she was once again in a sitting position, her hands on his lower back.

She knew it was wrong and unprofessional to take as much pleasure as she was giving, but she couldn't stop now. “Gary? We need to talk…”

He inhaled deeply before propping himself up on his elbows. “I can't get up.”

“You're still sore?” she asked, moving off him to sit beside him on the mattress.

He turned his gaze on her and the naked lust shone brighter than his bare ass. “I'm in no condition to stand up right now.”

“Oh.” She gulped. “Okay. That's good. I mean, fine. You lay there and I'll do the talking.”

He blinked twice and nodded. “Okay.”

“I'm just going to blurt everything out.” She shrugged, looking over his head. “I want you to know I never planned any of this. Well, the backrub I sorta did, but not the—” she pointed back and forth between them “—you and me thing. It's not that I haven't always felt this way. I have. Kinda. Not to this degree or anything. I think it's because we've both done our own thing, and because you're Drew's friend, I took it for granted that you'd always be around. You're family.”

“I'm family?” he asked.

She nodded. “Yes. No. Of course, you are. You'll always be a part of my life, and you're my friend.”

“A friend?”

“Stop doing that.” She sighed and eyed him. “Are you following any of this?”

“I think so.” He motioned with his chin. “Hand me that towel on the floor, so I can sit up. Listening while you ogle my ass is distracting me.”

She tossed him the towel and returned to the bed. “The last thing I want to do is make things uncomfortable. I should be able to ogle you without you freaking out.”

“I'm not freaking out.” He shook out the towel and rolled, covering himself.

“I think you are. Or maybe I am. In fact it's really burning up in here.” She fanned her face with her hand. “I'm probably going to die from internal combustion. Have you ever seen that documentary? It's a real thing. One minute the person is lying there, and the next thing you know a relative found them fried to a crisp in bed. Über crazy.”

Gary gawked at her. “Are you serious?”

“Totally.” She shifted and sat back down crossed legged on the mattress. “Of course, I doubt if you or I will die like that, so you shouldn't worry.”

“Honey.” He frowned, cupping her face with his hand. “You worry me.”

She closed her eyes and leaned against his touch. “I'm nervous,” she whispered.

His lips touched her forehead. “I know.”

“What?” She opened her eyes. “You understood what I'm trying to say?”

“Yeah.” He sat down beside her, leaned forward, and braced his elbows on his knees.

Every cell in her body leapt to attention, fizzling and sending pulses erratically within her. She leaned her head against his shoulder. This was something different than they'd ever had. They'd both breached the boundary of their friendship.

Only a towel kept her from seeing all of him, and because she still wore her yoga pants, it would take her exactly five seconds to join him naked on the bed.

“It's my turn to talk.” Gary stared at the floor by his feet. “Once you hear my side of things, maybe you can tell me exactly what you're thinking. No jumping from one subject to the other, no horror stories to make me worry about your sanity, and only the truth. Okay?”

She nodded.

“Good.” He inhaled deeply. “A lot of this is backstory you already know. My mom gave me up to foster care and I moved around a lot until I reached junior high. That's when I met Drew. You were—”

“Twelve years old,” she interrupted.

“Right.” He chuckled. “I started hanging out with Drew and spending more time at your mom's house, because—”

“Your foster parents were jerks.” She leaned against him. “I'm glad you became friends with Drew.”

He straightened and looked at her. “Me too, but stop interrupting me because this isn't about where I came from or where I'm at now. It's the in between stage I need to tell you about. The part you don't know and can't answer me on.”

“Oh…okay.” She sagged against him. “Continue.”

“Your mom taught me that all families are different. Whether it's a foster family, a single parent, or two parents. You make the best of what you have, and as long as there's love, everything will be fine,” he said.

She crossed her arms. It'd been a long time since someone reminded her of her mother's words, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. Part of her wanted to hear more, and her sensible side wanted to push the memories away.

“This is the important part, so listen.” He lifted her chin. “You gave me something different than what I got from Drew and your mom. In you, I found understanding. Whether that was sitting in the same room as you, keeping you company while you tried so hard to take care of your mom and make sure Drew was happy, or letting you talk my ear off when the stress bottled inside of you and the only way to let it go was to talk.”

“You were there for me every day,” she whispered. “During that time, you'd sleep on the couch and no matter what time of the night I got up, you'd be there.”

Her pulse roared in her ears. She'd hidden her feelings from everyone. How had he figured out that she'd gone to him when she couldn't handle the truth of having a mom dying of cancer and a father who was absent from her life when she needed him most?

“It was for that single reason that you gave me a purpose to keep positive about my own life. You needed me, and in the same way, I needed you.” Gary cleared his throat. “Then I went away to college, you went your direction, and I lost the person that grounded me. I'll be honest. I went wild. I enjoyed the girls, the attention of being the football star, and the freedom of knowing that everyone I cared about had no idea how I was screwing up my life.”

She opened her mouth, and he put his finger on her lips. “I came back to Seattle during breaks to reconnect with Drew, but it was never the same between you and me. You had outgrown your need for me. Then I graduated from college, played one season for the Steelers, got signed with the Seahawks, and spent the next three months at your house before I was scheduled to start season practice.”

“And I was centered all around forgetting the blackness I'd lived through,” she whispered.

He nodded. “Now keep your mouth closed until I finish, because this is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to say, and I'm afraid of fucking it up.”

Okay,
she mouthed.

“During that time, I fell in love with you.”

Her mouth came open again, and she sucked in her lips and clamped down. Her heart raced. He loved her?

“You were out of touch for me, because you were Drew's little sister and I loved and hated how I felt about you. I betrayed everyone because of my feelings, but mostly disrespected what your family gave to me. Love and acceptance,” he said.

She grabbed his hand. “But I'm not out of touch. I'm right here. That's what I've been trying to tell you. You can feel it too, can't you?”

He stood and pulled away from her, holding the towel over him. “I can't do this to us. I've never been the right man for you. You deserve someone who can give you everything—”

“What? What can't you give me?” She stood and planted her hands on her hips.

“Everything.” He kept his back to her, dropped the towel, and pulled a pair of sweatpants out of the dresser, shoving his legs in the pants.

“Name something,” she said.

He turned around. Anger, pain, confusion, and every other kind of emotion flickered over his face. “I'm not boyfriend or husband material. I'd make a rotten parent. I have no idea how families work, except what I learned from your family. But I was an outsider looking in, Ang. I'm a pro football player. My life is tied into the games, the money, and what comes next season.”

“That's excuses.” She shook her head. “I want you. Don't you understand? I don't know why it happened now, but I can't even think without wondering where you are, what you're doing, who you're thinking about.”

He leaned over, picked up his T-shirt, and wadded it in his hands. “Have you read your contract?”

“What?”

“Your contract you signed when you took the job.” He tossed the offending shirt across the room and watched it hit the wall. “I know in mine, I'm forbidden to date anyone employed by the owner of the Seattle Seahawks. That's you. If I dated you or they found out we were together while you were living here, you'd lose your job. They wouldn't kick me off the team, but I would end up with a fine. You though…they'd replace you.”

She thrust her hands in her hair and sat back on the bed. “Shit.”

“Yeah, shit.” He stepped over and sat beside her. “I promise nothing will happen between us. I won't let anything ruin your chance at the job.”

“But—”

“It's better this way, honey.” He laid his hand over hers and squeezed. “We got a good thing going on. We're friends. Drew's my best friend. What you're feeling will go away once you get your own place. I promise.”