Read Plain Fear: Forgiven: A Novel Online

Authors: Leanna Ellis

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #Horror, #Religion & Spirituality, #Fiction, #Romance, #Gothic, #Christian Books & Bibles, #Christian Fiction

Plain Fear: Forgiven: A Novel (6 page)

BOOK: Plain Fear: Forgiven: A Novel
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Chapter Eleven

It was after dark when he arrived, late by Amish standards, as most households turned in at the close of daylight. Each farmhouse Samuel passed looked as innocent as a sleeping babe. Night snuggled in, shadows deepened, and the cool spring air burrowed into his bones. His cheeks felt numb, his ears hollow from the wind, and his backside dead from the thrum of the motorcycle.

Samuel found the Yoder’s homestead, which now belonged to Levi and Hannah Fisher. He remembered his mother telling him that poor Ruby Yoder had died. Was that why her family had left Lancaster County? Had they wanted to escape the memories the way Pop had wanted to put distance between his family and Jacob’s death?

His old home was not far from the Yoder’s, just out Slow Gait Road, but he didn’t bother going by, not at this time of night—maybe never. Someone else lived there now. He didn’t even know who had bought the shop and house; he’d never asked.
Would
it
do
any
good
to
stir
up
old
memories
and
more
pain? But wasn’t that what he was doing in his quest to connect with Jacob?

Shoving aside confusing thoughts, he turned onto the gravel drive. The headlight of his motorcycle cut through the darkness and shone across the mailbox, which read
Fisher
, and the beam slanted over a wagon and push-powered lawn mower. Not much else could be seen in the dark, but a distant yellow light highlighted one window along the front of the house. From his past visits to the farm, when he was a boy, he knew the barn was off to the left, near the silo, and the washhouse to the right, near the garden. Pasture and farmland extended out behind the one-story house. He wondered if Levi had plans to expand the quaint house as his family grew.

A shagbark hickory provided shelter for his bike. The three-quarter moon slid out from behind a cloud and revealed the tree’s bare branches, stretching outward in all directions. As he walked toward the house, the white-painted porch railing glowed like ghost’s teeth. An odd feeling stirred the hair at the back of his neck as Samuel climbed the steps. Before he could knock, the door swung open.

“Samuel?” Hannah Schmidt Fisher greeted her brother-in-law with a warm and welcoming smile. She wore her blond hair pulled back in the traditional Amish style, beneath a prayer cap. Tiredness crinkled the corners of her eyes, but she still looked happy and content. No longer the skinny young girl he’d known a few years back before he’d moved with his folks to Ohio, her figure was now a bit plumper and her face rounder. But then again, she’d just had twins.

“Come on in,” she said, her voice soft and welcoming. She gave him a hug as he came through the door. “Did you eat on the way? Or are you hungry?”

He laughed softly. “I ate, but…”

Her grin widened, highlighted by the flickering light of the kerosene lamp. “But you could probably eat again,
ja
? Come, sit at the table, and I’ll fix you a plate.”

She led him into the kitchen, which looked like most other Amish kitchens. A propane-powered refrigerator took up space in the corner. An eating table sat in the middle of the room. A calendar hung on one wall. It had not yet been turned to April, and the picture above the March grid was of a meadow filled with yellow buttercups. Next to the stove, two quilted potholders hung not only for decoration but purpose.

While she scooped food out of containers, she caught him up on the latest. “The babies are sleeping, but they’ll be wanting a snack soon.”

“Pop said they were healthy.”

“Oh,
ja
. We are blessed. Levi went to bed early, plumb worn out.”

“I can see them all in the morning,” Samuel said, his stomach rumbling as he smelled the delicious scents coming from the stove. “I’m sorry I kept you awake.”

“I was glad to stay up.” Hannah pulled a plate from the cabinet. “I like the quiet when everyone has settled down for the night. It’s the only chance I have now to breathe deep and reflect.” She faced him, plate in hand. “Levi was so excited when he heard you were coming.”

Hannah set a plate in front of him. Roasted pork, creamed sweet potatoes, green beans, and pearl onions, along with two slices of bread, filled the plate to overflowing. She added a glass of sweet tea next to the fork.


Danke
, Hannah. This looks awful good.”

“I hope it will be enough to fill you. But if not, there’s more, along with a butterscotch pie for dessert.”

“If I’m not careful, I’ll grow lazy and fat with all this good cooking.”

She sat opposite him. “We’ll see if we can’t find something for you to do around here. Levi and I appreciate you coming all this way.”

He offered a quiet prayer of thanks, then set about eating. “How is Levi?”

“Right as rain.” Another voice supplied the answer. His big brother leaned against the doorframe, his shirt loose and unbuttoned, one sleeve empty and limp at his side. An arm crossed his bare stomach, and his other hand gripped a wooden cane. A bandage encircled his rib cage, and dark bruises emerged from beneath.

Tightness seized Samuel’s chest. Pop hadn’t lied. Levi was hurt. He jumped up from the table and rushed toward Levi. It had been over three years since he’d seen his oldest brother, but he stopped just shy of giving Levi a big, bone-crushing hug. Grinning at the beard Levi had grown since he’d last seen him—the sign of a married man—Samuel clapped him on the shoulder.

Levi winced yet still grinned back. “It’s awful good to see you, Samuel.”

“I reckon he may be taller than you now, Levi.” Hannah smiled at the two brothers, who eyed each other levelly. She moved between them and slid Levi’s other arm through his sleeve, then settled the shirt on his shoulders.

“And stronger,” Samuel added.

“That’s not too difficult, given my poor state of late.” Levi peered closer at Samuel’s chin. “You having to shave yet?”

“Three times a day,” Samuel joked.

“Time to find this man a bride then.” Levi winked.

“I’ll wait for a while on that.” Samuel helped his brother to the table. “Right as rain, eh?”

“Let Samuel eat while the food is hot,” Hannah chided softly. “Would you like some pie now, Levi?”

“Of course. I smelled that butterscotch baking. Woke me from a sound sleep.”

“Your stomach rumbling probably woke you.” She tilted her head toward Samuel and lowered her voice. “He hasn’t been eating well since the accident, so I’ve been tempting him with his favorites.” She went to the counter and cut the pie, sliding big, thick pieces onto plates.

“What did happen that caused all this?” Samuel eyed his brother’s weakened condition.

“You two have much to talk about.” Hannah carried the plates to the table. “So I’m going off to bed if you don’t mind. The boys will have me up soon enough.”

“It’s good to see you, Hannah.” Samuel nodded toward his sister-in-law. “
Danke
for the good meal. You’re an awful good cook.”

“You’re always welcome here, Samuel. But I can’t take the credit for the meal. It was Naomi who cooked all of this for us.”

“Naomi?” Samuel asked.

“Naomi Wagler,” she clarified. “She’s about your age, I believe. Are you eighteen now?”

“Almost twenty.” His voice sounded strangled.

“You remember the Wagler family, don’t you?” Levi asked. “Lizzie, Noah, Nathan, Grace, Naomi…”

Oh, he remembered her. Her family. Samuel’s heart kicked up a notch, and he forced himself to add to the list of Wagler children. “And Dan, but I can’t remember the little one.”

“Deborah.” Hannah smiled. “But they have two more now: Matthew and Mary.”

“I have a lot to catch up on,” he said, wondering what he would say to Naomi when…if he saw her again. Of course, he would see her. It was too small of a community not to bump into someone.

“There’s plenty of time.” Hannah hid a yawn behind her hand. “Samuel, you’ll be sleeping in the back bedroom. Levi can point you in the right direction. If you need anything, let me know.” She placed a hand tenderly on her husband’s shoulder. “Don’t stay up too late, Levi. Just leave the dishes, and I’ll clean up in the morning.”

“I’ll be along shortly,” Levi reassured her. “But first I’m going to enjoy this pie.”

Smiling, she left the room.

The two brothers ate in silence. For a moment, it felt like old times. Samuel remembered when Levi, Jacob, and he had gobbled up their mother’s cookies, snatched muffins, and gorged on whole loaves of hot bread. Samuel had tried to keep up with his older brothers, who had been able to stuff more food in their stomachs. But if Levi could eat a whole pie, then Samuel could eat two. If Jacob ran two miles, then Samuel ran three. Looking back now, Samuel realized his older brothers had egged him on. Once Jacob bragged, “I ate thirteen apples!” So of course, Samuel had to beat that, and he had managed fourteen and a half. But he’d paid the price for that overindulgence.

Mamm had laughed at their antics. “You boys must have hollow legs.”

She’d always been proud of her three and enjoyed cooking for them. Now the family was separated by too many miles and too much heartbreak.

When Samuel finished his second piece of butterscotch pie, he scraped the plates and cleaned up, so Hannah wouldn’t have to in the morning. She had enough to keep her busy with two babies and an injured husband. Knowing Levi was indeed hurt changed Samuel’s plan. He would have to help his brother. But for how long?

“We can discuss what needs doing tomorrow at breakfast,” Samuel said, seeing the circles beneath his brother’s eyes. No matter what Levi said, he obviously wasn’t well. “I’ll get up and feed the stock. That much I can figure out on my own.”

Levi nodded, explained which animals needed special care or food, and then they headed off to separate beds, Samuel watching his brother’s slow, careful footsteps. At the door to his bedroom, Levi turned back. “I’m glad you’re here, Samuel.”

“Me too.”

“Even if you eat like an elephant.” Levi grinned.

With a matching smile, Samuel said, “That’s why I’m taller.”

Chapter Twelve

What potions have I drunk of
Siren tears…

With realization came a sharp inhalation. No. He couldn’t go there.

Jacob turned away from the Amish farm they approached. Words failed him even now. The landscape of tranquil countryside stretched outward in peaceful waves, a respite from the turmoil of this world. Home. Yet not anymore. Not for a long time. Still, awareness stirred tumultuous emotions he could not begin to decipher. He simply couldn’t go into
that
home.

He wasn’t sure how he knew, but he
knew
. She was there.

He couldn’t see
her
. Not again. Not now. Not ever.

Hannah
. He had loved her, yearned for her, and yet he’d also hated her. She’d driven him mad with desire, and he’d come back for her, hoping to change her as he’d been changed so they could live together. Forever.

He’d never expected her to be a pushover, and so he’d set in motion a plan to cajole and lure her toward him. But she’d given her heart to Levi. His own brother. Now they were married.

So how could he look into the depths of her eyes again? How could he watch her with Levi? Know her heart had chosen another? And yet how could he not see her for what might be the last time?

“Did you not say you wanted to help Samuel?” Remiel asked, brushing past him.

Jacob watched the angel approach the lonely farmhouse as if all was safe and well, as if there were nothing to fear in such a tranquil place. Then the angel circled back and peered closely at Jacob. “What is it you fear?”

A fierce resilience reared inside him. Jacob had never feared anything. Truth sliced through him. That was not the honest answer. He’d feared losing Hannah. He’d feared living for eternity without her. But mostly, he’d feared dying—because he knew what he deserved. Now seeing Hannah again might be more torture than being doomed to hell, and so beneath the beam of Remiel’s gaze, he confessed, “I fear seeing her.”


Her
,” the angel repeated, tasting the word as if it was new, then he looked past Jacob toward the farmhouse, as if he could penetrate the walls with one look. “Hannah? This woman you loved?”

Jacob’s throat contracted.

“Come.” Remiel placed a hand around Jacob’s upper arm and drew him toward the farmhouse, not giving him a choice or chance to flee, and as they approached, their speed increased. Jacob couldn’t have stopped the momentum or escaped if he’d tried. The inhuman grip was solid and stern.
Had
this
been
the
plan
all
along? Was this his eternal torment, the torture for all his sins?

All of a sudden, they entered a room, a bedroom it seemed, the furniture simple and functional. The shades were pulled low, the light, provided by a gas-powered lamp, dim. Levi, his older brother, was there.

Jacob’s chest swelled with an overwhelming love. He ached to rush forward and throw his arms around Levi.

But something wasn’t right. Levi lay upon a bed, propped in a sitting position by thick pillows. He wore no shirt, only his regular pants, the suspenders looped over his broad shoulders, and a bandage wrapped around his ribs.

What
was
wrong? What had happened?
Jacob searched for an answer through Remiel, but the angel’s features were like stone. It didn’t matter if he knew any answers or not, Remiel wasn’t about to divulge secrets from either world.

If only Jacob could talk to Levi, to explain the mistakes he’d made, and yet he could not get through this filmy barrier that seemed to come between the world of reality his brother knew and the world of eternity that he was becoming acquainted with.

A puttering cry jerked Jacob’s gaze to Levi’s side, where a blanketed bundle was protected by pillows and Levi’s arm. A tiny fist pushed out of the covering. Levi jostled the baby, wincing as he moved too much. “Gabriel’s hungry.”

“He’ll have to wait another minute.”

That voice he knew. Yet it took a long, drawn-out moment for Jacob to shift his gaze away from his brother, as if he would never again have the chance to behold Levi. Then he saw Hannah.

A crack began to open in his heart. She sat in a rocking chair, a contented smile on her face. She wore a white nightdress that was unbuttoned, the fabric folded back, and she stared down at another baby suckling her breast. “Gideon is hungry too.”

Who
can
find
a
virtuous
woman, for her price is far above rubies?

The love he’d harbored for Hannah was still there, like a safe haven. It had survived the transition from his old world to this new one. Yet the anger and resentment had burned away like chaff. For what else mattered? She was happy. She was well taken care of. She was blessed. That’s all he could have ever asked for. He held no animosity for his brother either. Could Levi help that Hannah loved him? Could Hannah do anything but love his brother? Levi was a good man, always had been. He was the older brother Jacob had looked up to, resented at times, and strove to emulate. Yet, it had all been wasted effort, an impossibility. Forgiveness that he never could have found while alive pulsed through him.

Surprisingly, Remiel had been right. It was good to see Levi and Hannah and know they were living the kind of life they had always wanted. Glancing around the perimeter of the room, he was also relieved to know they were well guarded, whether they knew it or not, for there were other angels milling about, soaring toward the ceiling, slipping out through walls and windows as if no barrier existed.

“Not as horrible as you imagined, is it?” Remiel spoke to him.

“How did you know?”

He blinked slowly. “I’ve seen it before.”

Jacob thought of those feelings, once so real and palpable, now only a wisp of a memory. “But how is it possible?”

Remiel turned his attention back to Levi and, of course, did not answer.

“Are they”—Jacob indicated the other angels—“here to protect Hannah and Levi?”

Remiel nodded. “No harm will come here—not of the supernatural kind—unless they themselves open the door to evil.”

Jacob’s thoughts veered sharply toward his younger brother, Samuel, and he stiffened. Caught in a tide and swept from the room, Jacob hollered, “Wait!” He tried to hold on to Hannah, then Levi, but it was too late. He was whisked into a hallway and through another wall.

Green shades were drawn in this smaller room. Twin beds took up most of the space. Samuel lay sprawled across one, his feet hanging off the end, one arm flung wide. His duffel bag lay on the floor unzipped, his boots tossed near his clothes as if he’d shed everything in one fell swoop and collapsed on the bed.

A chill entered the room, and yet Jacob suspected it was something more than the weather. It felt as if the air had thinned and something malevolent hovered nearby. Remiel gripped his sword, his expression never changing, but he looked battle ready. A dark form circled above Samuel, similar to one of the creatures that had grabbed Jacob’s ankle. Was it a demon, some supernatural creature, some evil force?

Frantic to protect his sleeping brother, Jacob swung around and almost ran into Remiel. “Fight that thing off. Tell him to leave. Get him out of here!”

“This is not my—”

“You’ve said that before. What good are you?” Jacob whirled back toward his brother. “So, where is Samuel’s angel?”

“He has none.” Remiel stared out the window, as if seeing what lay beyond the shade. Was that a shadow passing in the dark? “Samuel has made no decision.”

The dark creature circled the bed, dropping lower and lower, swooping over Samuel’s sleeping form.

Panic rose inside Jacob. “What can I do?”

Remiel did not answer.

Jacob rushed toward the bed. “Bah!” he shouted and flung his arms out wide. “Get out of here!”

The creature jolted backward, tumbling through the air. Rather than arms or legs, the creature looked shapeless, like a black jellyfish, shifting shapes and sizes, its body fluid. Before Jacob could exult, the creature reared up. A cruel, distorted face rushed toward him, snarling and snapping sharp, gray teeth. Jacob fell back. But the creature did not fall upon him. It swerved sharply and shot toward the ceiling, then began circling above the bed, over the sleeping Samuel.

A book lay open beside the bed. Jacob moved closer and recognized some of the books. Many were of the occult and dark forces, mysterious and secretive in nature.

“Close the book,” Remiel said.

Jacob startled at the sound of the angel’s voice. “What?”

“Close the book,” he repeated.

Jacob attempted to do just that, although he wasn’t sure why, but his hand slid right through the pages, hardcover, and table as if he didn’t exist, as if he had no form or substance or purpose. “How?”

But the angel gave no answer.

With a heavy sigh, Jacob searched the room, desperate for a way. Then he remembered he could whisper thoughts. Not that Samuel had listened before, but his girlfriend had. Still, he leaned close to Samuel. This time he didn’t fool around trying to inject his thoughts. “Samuel!”

The young man flopped over, his long limbs wrestling the covers, and one arm swiped the books right off the table. They fell to the floor in a heap, pages crumpling, spines cracking, and out of them poured a fresh hoard of creatures.

Black disfigured beasts plunged into the room with a rush and flutter. They swirled about but steered clear of Remiel, who never blinked at their appearance nor seemed afraid. He stood completely still, his hands resting on the hilt of his sword, blade pointed toward the floor.

“Great!” Jacob exclaimed with a heavy dose of sarcasm. “Now what?”

“Close the books,” the angel repeated, without really offering any help at all.

But
how?
Jacob couldn’t close the books himself. He’d have to force Samuel to do the task. Jacob hollered, “Samuel, wake up!”

Eyes fluttered, then his brother grunted and shifted.

Before Samuel could settle back into sleep, Jacob whispered, in what he hoped was an imitation of his father’s voice, “Samuel, you are late.”

Those eyes sprang open. The youngest Fisher brother sat bolt upright, rubbed his chest, and blinked against the darkness of the room. Jacob grinned at his success. But before he could congratulate himself, Samuel flopped back onto the pillow and rolled onto his side. He lay very still, staring at the side table for a moment.

Once more, Samuel pushed himself upright. Swinging his long legs out of the bed, he scooped up the books, closing those lying open. Some of the creatures were sucked back into the pages from which they’d come, but a couple escaped through the walls of the house in a whoosh.

“That will not fool them for long,” Remiel said. “They will be back.”

“Then what can send them running for good?”

The first glint of a smile tugged at Remiel’s firm lips. “Someone like me.”

“How can I get one of you for Samuel?”

Remiel stared down the sharp slant of his nose. “You think you have this power?”

“You do. You could do it!”

“It is not for me to decide.”

Jacob sighed and moved toward the bed. He peered down at his brother, blissfully asleep again. Leaning down, he whispered, “Samuel,
you
shall
know
the
truth, and the truth shall set you free.

BOOK: Plain Fear: Forgiven: A Novel
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