Next to Always: Shattered Innocence Trilogy Book Two (3 page)

“Hello,” Dylan said as she pressed the button and waited for a reply.

“Hello, Ms. Davis.” Dylan let the gentleman continue before she corrected whom he was speaking to. “I have a letter addressed to Ms. Adams that was dropped off earlier today.”

“This is Dylan Adams. Do you know who dropped it off?” Dylan replied with curiosity.

“I’m not sure of the gentleman’s name, but he was tall, about fiftyish, well built, bald with a goatee. If you’d like I can bring it up or you can come get it.”

Dylan knew who it was that delivered the letter. It was Richard. She didn’t want Lilly to inquire about the delivery, so she decided to go down. “I’ll be right there.”

Dylan quickly changed into a t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants. When she got to the lobby, she saw the security guard sitting behind the check-in desk. All she could think about was the letter waiting for her. She had a pretty good idea that the letter came from Rade. Dylan wasn’t sure what she would do with the letter once she had it in her hands. She didn’t even know why she came down to the lobby to retrieve it. If she had been smart, she would have just had the security guard shred it.

Nervously she walked up to the desk as she greeted the security guard. “Hi, I’m Dylan Adams. I believe you’re holding a letter for me.”

“Oh, yes, Ms. Adams,” the security guard said. “I have right here.”

The guard handed Dylan the letter as she smiled down at him. “Thanks,” she said as she took the letter from him.

Dylan held it in her hand as she inspected the writing on the envelope. It was definitely from Rade. She would know his handwriting anywhere. As she got in the elevator, she continued to stare down at the envelope. Her thoughts went back and forth.
Open the letter. Words can’t hurt you. Don’t be a fool, just throw the letter away. Nothing he could say could erase what he let happen.
Dylan was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn’t realize that the elevator doors opened to her floor. They were just about to shut when Dylan came back to reality. Dylan raised her hand and pushed at the door, causing it to retract.

Lilly was standing outside the apartment door, watching Dylan come down the hallway. When Dylan looked up and saw Lilly’s expression, she knew she wasn’t happy. Lilly’s arms crossed at her chest were also a dead giveaway. Dylan passed Lilly with no words. The only gesture was Dylan’s hand raised in a “
Don’t say a word”
motion. Dylan could feel Lilly’s eyes burning in the back of her head.

Dylan returned to the kitchen to finish her glass of wine. As she sat at the bar, she placed the envelope in front of her. Lilly took a seat beside her and watched as Dylan began spinning the letter with her thumb and middle finger.

Lilly was getting dizzy from the spinning letter. Taking a firm hold of Dylan’s wrist, she snapped, “Dylan, stop! You aren’t going to read that, are you?”

Dylan just stared at the letter. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. “I don’t know, Lilly. After what he told you, I just don’t know what to do.”

“Tell you what…” Lilly began as she reached for the letter and took it in her hand. “I think you should wait. Let him stew for a while. I’ll hold on to it. Personally, I think you should burn the damn thing and move on.”

Dylan looked at Lilly with surprise. “What if it wasn’t his fault, Lilly? Maybe he didn’t know what was going to happen…… to me.” Dylan broke off as tears slowly began to surface.

“Let’s just give it time. Maybe a day or two.” Lilly pulled Dylan in for a small hug as Dylan nodded in agreement.

It was late when Dylan and Lilly finished their dinner and polished off two bottles of wine. The exhaustion from the trip was finally taking a toll on Dylan. That and the fact that she drank more than she ate. All she wanted to do was sleep. Not just the two to three hours she had been getting for the past three weeks, but the kind of sleep that took her completely and left her refreshed.

Stumbling into her pull-out bed, Dylan pulled the covers over her and tried to think of nothing but happy thoughts. That lasted for about ten minutes, and then she started thinking about Rade. There was so much she missed about him. The time they spent together. No matter how much he controlled her life, she could only think about how good it felt when he touched her, how he kissed her. The passion that he showed her whenever they made love.
Was their time together real? Could he have shown her so much compassion without feeling anything? Was the anguish she saw reflected in his eyes the night at The Castle a lie?
Not possible. No one could show that much pain and not feel it. Maybe she needed to find out the truth. The only way she would be able to do this was to face Rade. It would have to be on her own terms. She just wasn’t sure if she was ready. She would give it a couple of days.

With the clock showing 3:00 a.m., Dylan knew trying to fall asleep was going to be a lost cause. The best cure for restlessness was making herself exhausted and the only way to do that was to work out. Dylan pulled herself from her bed and headed to the gym located on the first floor. With her iPod in hand, she headed out the door, careful not to wake up Lilly.

No one was in the gym at this ungodly hour, which made for a very lonely workout. Even though it was quiet, at least Dylan had her choice of equipment to work out on. She decided to tackle the treadmill first. A little run would increase her heart rate. After ten miles on the treadmill, twenty minutes on the elliptical, fifty squats and one hundred crunches, Dylan’s body felt like jello. When she finally made it to the apartment, it took two seconds for her to fall on the bed and about ten more to fall asleep.

*****

Dylan’s body felt like it had been through the wringer as she gradually woke up to the light blazing through the office window. Too lazy to get up and close the blinds, she grabbed her pillow and placed it over her head to shield her eyes from the bright sunlight. Her body fell back into a deep sleep, only to be woken by the sound of clattering pans coming from the kitchen.

“Oh my God, can’t you be any louder?” Dylan yelled, hoping Lilly would hear her over the noise she was making.

When the noise didn’t stop, Dylan had no other choice but to get out of bed. The noise could not be blocked with the pillow she held tightly over her head. She loved her friend, but at this very moment she wanted to kill her. Lifting her sore body from the pullout bed, Dylan headed to the kitchen, making a pit stop at the bathroom. Finishing her morning ritual of peeing and brushing her teeth, she went to the kitchen, only to be greeted by the out-of-tune screeching sound of Lilly mutilating Pharrell Williams’ “
Happy.”

Holding her hands over her ears, Dylan began yelling. “Lilly… Lilly… please stop. You’re hurting my head.”

Lilly looked up at Dylan as she removed the ear buds from her ears. “Did you say something, girlfriend? Breakfast is almost ready.”

“Yeah… yeah,” Dylan said as she waved her hand to Lilly and walked to the living room and plopped herself on the sofa.

Dylan was thankful the noise finally stopped. Just as she was beginning to doze off again, the scent of bacon and eggs seeped into her nose. Opening her eyes, Lilly was holding a plate two inches from her face with one hand and a freshly brewed cup of coffee in the other. Dylan looked at her friend and took the cup of coffee with one hand while pushing the plate of food with the other.

Lilly placed the plate she prepared for Dylan on the coffee table. “You know, Dylan, if you don’t start eating, you won’t be making a very good impression for your job interview Tuesday. People will think you’re sick.”

“Okay, fine.” Dylan hesitantly grabbed a slice of bacon from the plate and began eating.

As Dylan finished her breakfast, she was beginning to feel human again, but she didn’t think food would be the cure, based on how she felt earlier. Taking her empty plate and her coffee mug, she walked to the kitchen and deposited her dirty dishes in the sink. Turning to leave, she noticed the envelope from Rade lying on the counter where she left it last night. She knew she wasn’t ready to read what he had to say, but she picked it up anyway. Heading back to her room, she placed the letter in her underwear drawer.
Out of sight, out of mind
was her reasoning.

Grabbing a change of clothes, Dylan headed to the bathroom to take a much needed shower. Looking in the mirror, Dylan could not believe what she saw. Her hair looked like a bird decide to build a nest in it. The sight of her hair was no comparison to how her face looked. There was no happiness reflecting back at her. Her once glimmering emerald green eyes looked dull and lacked the confidence they once held. Her skin was also paler than normal. As she turned to her right, she could see that even her body looked different. Even though she still had a firm, toned body, it was thinner. Her hip bones were more prominent and the indentation of her abdomen was deeper. She knew she had lost weight in the past three weeks, but what she saw was far from the woman she used to be. She needed to change this, or at least try. She couldn’t let what happened to her take over her life. Hopefully the job interview she had would change this for her and bring back the woman she once was.

Dylan spent most of her day choosing an outfit for her interview and putting her portfolio together. It seemed like only yesterday she was doing this very thing. Once she had finished, she decided to take a break before she began her hunt for a place to live. Even though she loved her friend dearly, sleeping on a pull-out bed was not her cup of tea. She wanted her own place with her own bed. Grabbing her purse, she headed out of the apartment to take advantage of the warm spring air. April was one of her favorite months. The trees were beginning to blossom and the daffodils were beginning to bloom. The air felt cleaner. It was like the start of a new beginning.

It was mid afternoon by the time Dylan got to her destination. She wasn’t sure what possessed her to take a cab to
Riley’s
, but for some reason she felt the need to see Evan. When the cab pulled up to the curb outside of
Riley’s
, Dylan wasn’t sure if she made the right decision. Paying the driver she stepped out of the cab and stood in front of the pub debating if she should go in or turn around and leave. Her decision was made for her when Evan walked out of the entrance door and saw her standing there.

“Dylan, hey. I haven’t seen you for a while. You look different,” Evan said, taking in Dylan’s appearance.

“I… um… A lot has happened since I saw you. It’s good to see you.” Dylan was unable to look at Evan in the eye. She was afraid of what he would see if she did.

“I was just on my way home, but we can grab a coffee if you’d like,” Evan said looking down at Dylan.

“That would be great.” Dylan’s gaze switched from the sidewalk to the coffee shop down the street.

Being mid-afternoon, the sidewalk was jammed, packed with people. Evan took hold of Dylan’s hand as they headed to the coffee shop. Dylan knew it was just an act of kindness on Evan’s part to make sure she didn’t get swallowed up by the crowd. It felt nice nonetheless. It took ten minutes to walk from the pub to the coffee shop. Once inside, they both ordered plain coffee, with Dylan adding cream and sugar and Evan taking his straight. Dylan spotted an empty table towards the back of the coffee shop. With coffee in hand, Evan followed her to the table for two.

Evan waited for Dylan to take a seat before he sat down across from her. The silence between them was a little awkward for Dylan.

“So how have you been?” Dylan asked as she tried to break the silence.

“I’ve been good… busy… and you?” Evan looked closely into Dylan’s eyes as he spoke. He could see something different. She looked thinner to him and her eyes seemed smaller, shallower.

“I’ve been good. So much has happened. I moved out of the apartment building, I quit my job.” “
Oh yeah, the man I love betrayed me with a big B.”
Even though Dylan didn’t tell him that last piece of information, she was still thinking about it.

“Whoa… why… what happened?” Even showed his concern as he took hold of Dylan’s hand.

Dylan did everything she could to stop the tears that were ready to fall down her cheek. Looking away she told him as little as possible. “It just didn’t work out for me. I just couldn’t work there anymore and the apartment came with the job. I couldn’t afford to stay there, so I moved.”

“So… where do you live now? Evan inquired.

“I’m staying with a friend until I can find a place of my own,” Dylan said as she looked down at her coffee cup.

“Dylan, please look at me.” Dylan slowly raised her head as she looked at Evan. “Whatever you need, Dylan, I’m here for you.” Evan pulled a pen from the pocket inside his jacket and jotted his number down on a napkin. “Here’s my number. I want you to call me anytime if you need anything, or if you just need to talk.”

Dylan took the napkin from Evan. “Thank you, Evan.” She tucked it safely in her jean pocket and began standing. “It was nice seeing you again. I really need to get going.”

Evan stood and pulled Dylan into his arms and gently kissed her on the forehead. “I know something else is going on with you, Dylan. I can see it in your eyes. When you’re ready to talk about it, I’m a good listener.”

Dylan pulled away from their embrace and sidestepped past Evan to the entrance door. She couldn’t bear him seeing her fall apart. A cab just pulled up to the curb, letting his fare off, which left Dylan with a quick getaway.