Letting Go (10 page)

Grant’s heart squeezed with pride. A star athlete all through high school, college and a first round draft pick; life had been good for a while. “Yeah, that’d be really cool. You have the arm and the smarts. I don’t see why it can’t happen. When I played, we didn’t have half the stuff your coach has now. The equipment, the meds, plays… like I said no reason why your team can’t win state.”

The garage door closed behind them and they exited the car. “I’m going to have a shower and then grab a bite to eat before I tackle my homework.”

“Can you bring me my pain meds from my room, my leg’s bothering me?” Grant said as he hung his keys on the hook next to the door and headed for the kitchen.

“Sure.” Blair left and returned in a few moments with two bottles of prescription pills.

“Thanks,” he said to his son’s back. He’d take these with his meal. Ava, their housekeeper, usually left their meal in the warming oven and any instructions on the refrigerator. He didn’t see any notes, and something smelled divine. Grabbing a pot handle, he pulled a casserole out of the oven, set it on the trivet, grabbed one of the plates she had left out, and took a large portion.

Thirsty, he licked his lips and headed toward the refrigerator. Inside, there were all types of water, tea, and sports drinks from the company he’d done a promotional campaign for a few years ago. Plain water hadn’t passed through his lips in a long time. Quitting cold turkey had its drawbacks.

Grabbing a bottle, he twisted off the cap and upended it. Cold water hit the back of his throat and instead of soothing him, he gagged. After a bout of coughing, he put it on the counter and stared, like the bottle would explain what just happened. He eyed the blue label and exhaled. Determination blazed through him, he would drink the damn thing.

“You can do this,” he murmured, and reached for the water again. It wasn’t a can or bottle of beer, but that was okay. Ava had removed all the alcohol from the house when he told her he had stopped drinking. The last word hadn’t fully been out of his mouth before she praised the Lord and acted as if he’d given her a raise. Which he had, but not because of his decision to stop drinking.

“Easy…easy…” He placed the bottle to his lips and took a sip. It stayed down. Encouraged, he took a larger swallow, coughed a bit, but it too stayed down. Squeezing the plastic bottle to show his strength over the situation, he took a long gulp, closed his eyes and puckered his lips. When had he stopped appreciating water? As an athlete, he knew how important water was and yet… he never drank it straight anymore.

“That changes, now.” He placed the empty bottle on the counter and headed to the refrigerator for another one.

Thunder clapped. The storm broke. Splashes of water hit the windows and the splatter of raindrops hitting the ground created a dull roar.

He laughed and held his bottle up in a toast. “I promised if you allowed me to get out of that room alive and in one piece, I would stop drinking. You kept your end of the deal, I’m keeping mine.”

Chapter 8

“Mom, I’m meeting BJ at the movies, can I have a few extra dollars?” Robin asked her the moment she walked inside the house.

“Well, hello to you. I had a long day, thank you for asking. Sonja Redding’s mom decided the length of her daughter’s skirt was just fine and she would sue the school board before she would make her child obey school policy. The pizza they served for lunch was too cold, too hard, too soft... oh yeah, and tasted nasty. Three teachers called in sick and I had to babysit a class until the substitute arrived.” She eyed him over her shoulder as she headed to the kitchen. “I suppose you’re wondering why I am telling you about my day.”

“No… I should’ve asked, sorry.”

“You need to hear what I put up with to earn those dollars you ask for without saying hello.”

“I know you don’t like working as a VP.”

She spun around and pointed at him. “That’s where you are wrong. The job’s not bad, the people… that’s another story. If I could simply do my job and not deal with everything else that gets dumped on me… maybe I wouldn’t be coming home tired of going to work.”

The executive job interviews she had yesterday at the PalmRight Institute crossed her mind. It went well in her opinion. She met their steep qualifications and the salary was double what she made now. She prayed for the call and job offer.

As much as she liked Principal Howard, doing his job and hers wore on her. He missed so many days she wondered if he's cheating on his wife of thirty years. She couldn’t change him, but she could make personal adjustments. Landing this job would be the first step. Her thoughts drifted to Grant, she missed him. His voice, his humor, and their talks. She shut that door, she’d made her choice.

Robin rubbed his hands down his pant legs and then leaned against the counter. At least he had cleaned the kitchen. “You ate?” She pulled out the grilled chicken from last night. She needed to get moving. Jessie would be here soon, they were going to a Parent, Friends of Lesbians and Gays meeting tonight to hear a new speaker.

“A little. We’re going to grab pizza after the movie.”

She nodded, grabbed her purse and fished out the twenty dollar bill she had found in the parking lot the other day and added another. “Here.”

He smiled and turned. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Robin.”

He stopped and turned. “What time is your curfew?” She put the food in the microwave.

“Weekend, eleven p.m. Although… as a senior I was wondering if we could change that to midnight.”

She crossed her arms and stared at him. He had been hinting around this issue for a while. But teen violence in the next county was the highest in the state of Virginia. “I’ll consider it, but for now, it’s still eleven.”

“Okay.” He turned and left. She shook her head. “Not even a sorry you had a rough day,” she murmured, and removed her food while glancing at the time. “One of these days I am going to sit down and eat nice and slow,” she said walking to her bedroom, plate in hand and fork in her mouth.

Her phone beeped, she looked at the caller ID and shook her head. “Hello?”

“Hi Kelly, how are you?”

“The same as last time, Arnold. What’s up?”

She’d met Arnold her junior year of high school. He was tall, thin, quiet, and average looking. They had been each other’s first kiss, cuddles and sex. At the time, Jessie had teased her, saying she could do much better, but she'd liked the way he treated her. He appreciated her desire to want more; he listened to her dreams of a better life, of moving away from Perrine. After graduation, they married and she started junior college while he worked at the local factory. By the time she had Robin and finished her associate’s degree, her marriage was over. He had met someone at work and decided he loved the other woman more.

“Nothing, nothing, just called to say congratulations on finishing your degree. Folks been talking about you getting that fancy degree and living large in Virginia. I hear you’re working in the principal’s office, got a good job. Things finally working out for you.”

“Okay.” She wondered what he wanted.

“I’m headed that way and wanted to see my boy, wondered if you could put me up a few days so I can spend time with him.”

She burst out laughing. The man had no shame.

“What’s funny?” he asked, his voice tight. “You don’t want me to see my son?”

“See him when you bring a dollar of the back child support you owe. Or send him one of those birthday presents that were lost in the mail every year, or better yet, send one of his Christmas presents from the past ten years. Then we can talk about you stepping a foot on my property.”

He tsked. “You’re bitter. That’s not good. Things just didn’t work out for us, you should let that go. I expected more from you. You were always the smart one.”

She laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks. The smart one as opposed to what, his dumb ones? “Arnie,” she said when she could catch her breath. “I haven’t thought enough of you in the past ten years to have any feelings one way or another. My son hasn’t missed anything you never provided. So I tell you what. Since I’ve raised Robin to be a man of his word, ask him about visiting. He’s old enough to talk to you on his own. You can never come to my home, and that’s not bitter. I just can’t stand the sight or thought of you on anything I own. But you can see Robin at a place he chooses.”

“Okay, I’ll call him and set up a meeting. You changed Kelly. That education went to your head. Your aunt said you were stuck up, thought you were too good to come home. But I didn’t believe it. You’re cold, you weren’t like this before. If I did this to you, I apologize.”

She scoffed. “Yeah, well the world looked different when you’re twenty and learn your marriage vows are a joke. That nothing you can do makes a difference when someone doesn’t want you. A person has to look out for themselves; no one else will do it for them. No one. Life changes people. I could say the same about your cheating… but you know what? I don’t care. I wish you the best and I’ll tell Robin to expect a call. Can you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Lose my number, just call your son. We don’t need to talk.” She hung up and shook her head.

Her family never thought she’d make it after she divorced his cheating ass. Her aunt and cousins wanted her to stay in the same town, ignore his affair, see him whenever she could as if he was the best she could do. Fuck that and them. Thank God for academic scholarships and hard work. If granny were alive she’d demand she slam the door shut on that chapter of her life, and that’s what she did. She stripped and took her shower.

She’d just finished dressing when Jessie arrived. “Good, you’re ready. Robin’s gone?”

Kelly nodded. “He and BJ went to a movie.”

“You met his BJ?”

“Yeah. Nice kid, but a little quiet. He lives a couple counties away. I don’t think his parents are aware of what’s going on with him though.”

Jessie looked at her and didn’t say anything.

“What’s with the look,” Kelly asked, grabbing her purse and heading for the door.

“What? I didn’t say anything.” Jessie hugged her, laughing. “You rock, sis. Robin sounded happy the other day when I called. He talked about college and sports.”

Kelly nodded as they left the house and headed out the door. “He’s great. I don’t understand nor like the path he’s on, but it’s his life not mine.”

“True. Speaking of your life, have you called Grant?”

“No.” She slid into the passenger side of Jessie’s BMW, hoping her sister would let the subject of Grant rest.

“Why not? You like him. From what you said, he likes you. I don’t understand the problem.”

She glared at Jessie. “He is running for office on a conservative ticket in the reddest county in the state. They don’t like gays. The first time he said something wrong or looked at Robin funny, I’d be all over him. Yeah, I liked him, but I love my son. Believe me, that door is closed.”

“Only because you closed it. You don’t know for sure how he’d handle things, he might surprise you.”

“I don’t want to be surprised. Let it go, Jess. Maybe after Robin graduates…”

“He’ll still be gay. You can’t run from every relationship because you’re afraid of bigots. People have opinions. That’s life. I’ve never seen you so excited as when you told me about Grant. I think you need to talk to him, feel him out. At least tell him why you’re bailing.”

The possibility of breaking things off because of his anti-gay views hurt too bad to take that chance. She was a coward when it came to her heart and accepted that. But she preferred her memories of their time together, and didn’t want them tarnished with reality. The time they'd shared had been brief, but she liked him more than she realized. He managed to breathe life and color into her gray world. Life had been a bright carousel full of possibilities.

She reached over the console and took her sister’s hand. “It’s over, drop it.”

“You’ll meet someone else, you’ll see,” Jessie said, squeezing her hand. “Look at me; I moved on, after Chris left, I lost it, now I’m happy—”

Kelly cut her eyes at her sister.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Arnold called.”

“Ugh, what did he want?”

Kelly repeated the gist of the conversation and they both laughed.

“Aunt Edna’s mad you’re doing good. Her younger sister’s girls were not supposed to make it when her kids are locked up and on drugs. She always resented granny taking us in, she lost her babysitter.”