January and the Single Heart (2 page)

“You’re right, honey, that is more dumb than weird.” Latonya opined.

Jan nodded.  “It gets weirder.  One day in January after my 30
th
birthday, I was depressed and having a pity party the size of Brazil, so I decided to get some exercise.  I went down to Green Lake and took a walk around it.  I’m busy dodging the bikers and roller skaters and I start getting a bit tired so I sit down on one of the benches near the Bath House Theater.  I sit for a while and just as I’m ready to get up, I see a coin sitting in the corner of the bench where this woman had been sitting before I got there.  I picked it up and it wasn’t a real coin.  It was something else.  Something I’d never seen before.”

“
So this is the weird part, right?” Grace asked.

“Oh yeah.”  Jan reached into her purse and pulled the coin out.  “I keep it with me all the time.  Take a look.”  She handed it to
Latonya.  The smiling woman looked at one side and then the other.  It felt like a real coin, about the size of a silver dollar but it was unlike anything she had ever seen before. 

Finally,
Latonya announced her findings.  “This sucker is weird.  On one side is a four leaf clover along with the words ‘This coin brings luck in life and love’.  And on the other is a heart and the phrase ‘Pass it along when your heart is full’.  That’s it.  What the hell?”

In turn, each of the women examined the coin and gave similar remarks.  Ellen looked last and then turned to Jan.  “So, I am assuming this is the root of all your problems, right?”

“Absolutely.”  Jan was emphatic.  “It gave me some kind of weird confidence that I was meant to find that coin.  It was for me.  Specifically.  I know that sounds stupid but I couldn’t help but think about the timing.  I got the impression that maybe the woman who was sitting there, had left it for someone else.  For me.  That it had worked for her and now she was, in fact, passing it on.”

“Do
do do do, do do do do.”  Amy made the Twilight Zone sound.  All the girls laughed.  Amy continued with the eerie sound and then asked, “So what did you do-do?”  Everyone chuckled again.

Jan shook her head.  “Something very stupid.  I
guaranteed my Mom that I’d be bringing the man of my dreams to their party.”

“That’s not so bad”, offered Leah.

“Well it was a bit more than that.  I told her that I was busy dwindling down the field and deciding which horse I was going to bet on.  I told her to just be patient and she would meet my fiancé that night.  Later I learned that she told every one of her close friends that I was going to show up with my husband to be.  And, to top it off, I sort of let it slip that his name was Ed.” 

“OK that was bad.” Leah replied and everyone nodded their head in unison and agreed.

“Yeah, but the crazy thing was that I was so confident.  I was absolutely convinced that this wacky coin was going to bring Mr. Right into my life.”

“I need another drink.  Waiter!”  Leah got his attention and made the circle motion with her index finger.  Drinks all around.

Grace helped the story along, “But …”

Jan picked it up, “But … nothing.  I’m sorry, nothing would be a generous description of my love life.  I’ve gone out with Eddie
Haversham from the warehouse three times and I’m not sure I can bear a fourth.  I’ve messed up my head counting the days since I was last kissed.  Nine hundred and twenty five today and counting. 

“Oh my God,” Amy exclaimed, “
You’re like a nun.  Jan baby, you gotta get laid.” All the girls broke out laughing.  Ellen was practically in tears.  “We need more Tequila, waiter.”  Amy yelled it out to be heard over the din by their server.

Jan blushed.  She was no prude but talking about it openly was embarrassing. 

Grace brought everyone back to the issue.  “That, girlfriends, is not really the problem.  Now that she and Eddie have gone out a few times, Miss Jan has a totally different problem.  Tell them Jan.”

“Yeah, well, Oh thank you,” she interrupted herself as the server brought another round of drinks.  “Turns out th
at Eddie is in love with someone else ...”   Before anyone could verbalize their various thoughts, Jan finished the sentence, “... himself.”

“
When we go out now I feel more like I am the audience he brought along to hear himself talk.  He has one story after another about how good he is at something or how pathetic the other guys are.  On the first date, I was so impressed by him and I thought he was such a great conversationalist.  Now I realize he was great because I let him talk and didn’t bother him with my stories or what I was thinking or feeling.  Last Saturday when I tried to tell him something about my life, he got so impatient he just cut me off and started talking about himself again.  Bottom line: It’s obvious that he is NOT the one.”

Grace
finished the thought for her, “… and Mom still wants to meet her future son-in-law … about six weeks from now”

“Ouch!”  Amy and Leah
exclaimed it at the same time.

Ellen said, “Yow.  I think I need something stronger.   Waiter one more of these mineral waters and put two limes in this time!”

“Yow, life in the fast lane with Ellen!”  Amy cracked.

The table grew quiet for a few minutes.  Finally Grace looked over at
Latonya and said, “I see those wheels turning.  What are you thinking about?”

Latonya
smiled her biggest Latonya smile and announced, “I think we need a little mood music.”  With that, she stood up from her chair and in a loud voice, she started belting out a ditty to the tune of 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.

“Start a new plan, Jan. 

Cut her some space, Grace,

Get an idea, Leah,

And set her heart free!”

She followed that up with a soul-full “Woo
ooo” and the quarter of the bar closest to their table erupted in applause and laughter.  Amy and Leah fell into each other’s arms giggling.  Ellen was shaking and crying again.  Grace and Jan looked at each and let out a loud cackle.  Schiraldi’s was a busy and deafening place on a Friday night but Latonya had made her mark and her point.  Grace signaled to the waiter to start the appetizers coming.  It was going to be a long night.

It was Monday morning and business as usual.  Jan handled an awkward unhappy customer crisis and set up appointments for the day.  When lunch time rolled around, she grabbed the lunch she made that morning from the break room fridge and walked over to the park at Pike Place to relax, eat and think alone.

Jan was replaying Friday night in her mind’s eye. 
After Latonya belted out her tune and everyone quit laughing, they all got going on the serious work.  Leah took charge and said, “OK, let’s assess your options.  Jan, who else do you know outside of work that is boyfriend material?”

Jan worked long hours and it did not take a lot of thought.  She mentioned Brad, a high school friend that she had stayed in touch with but other than that, her only exposure to unmarried men lately had been
at work.  Immediately, Amy, Grace and Latonya started going down the list.  First they named the guys they could think of that were out of the picture because they were married or in a serious relationship.  That brought the available list down to a very manageable size.  Then they started naming off those fellows and adding some hilarious but stinging comments.   Seems there was a reason most weren’t married.

Amy mentioned Cary
Sunhold, the mailroom clerk.  He was quite a hunk but only 23 and a bit young for Jan.  There were the predictable comments about robbing the cradle and some good pervy laughs but they soon moved on from there to the more likely candidates.

Brick Taylor was discussed.  He of the UW football fame and now the Warehouse Manager. 
Good looking, strong, divorced a few years ago and apparently available, but playing the field.  He was ambitious but a bit ruthless and Latonya mentioned that he was a mean bugger after a few drinks.  Grace started to ask how she knew that but then decided better.  After another round of drinks, everyone agreed he was trouble and not a perfect match (or even an imperfect match) for Jan.

They collectively ticked several more single males off the list and after a brief pause,
Amy dropped a bombshell on Jan.  Tom Meyer, the big boss was separated from his wife.  Had been now for around six months but he was doing all he could to keep that quiet.  This was news to Jan but the others nodded their head and obviously were in the know.  There were a few comments that a nicer boss could not be found and he was quite a catch.  Jan shook her head and responded, “Uh, no.  I’m not going there.  That path is fraught with all kinds of demons.  Next idea?”

The table grew silent.  Everyone was trying to think of someone not yet mentioned
.  Jan grew impatient so she asked what she had wanted to ask one drink ago, “What about Glen?”

“Oh please!  We are not to the bottom of the barrel yet are we?” Ellen chimed in. “He’s got at least three strikes: 
not a go-getter, very mousy; A Momma’s boy – lived with his Mom till he was 27; and partially taken - he’s living with some older woman now.”

“I heard the same.  Someone like 20 years older, maybe replacing Momma” said Leah.

Amy jumped in. “That was me that told you that. I saw them having lunch together at a restaurant near Green Lake.  He saw me too and I had to go over and make nice.  She was no beauty queen.  I just said hi and skedaddled.”

Latonya’s
turn.  “I peeked at his resume.  Her name is Vicky and the emergency number is the same as his home number so they are living together.  I asked him at the Company Picnic last year why he didn’t bring Vicky and he just looked at me like I was nuts and mumbled something like ‘I don’t think so’ and then Louis, you know, his sidekick in accounting, came up to him laughing and slapped Glen on the back and said ‘Glen, you’re not gonna bring that ole gal out in public, are you champ?’  It was disgusting.  They both walked away laughing.”

Amy jumped in again, “
And do you know, last year he had the nerve to ask Emily What’s-‘er-Name, the sales rep before Leah, to go out and have dinner with him!  He’s shacking up with his girlfriend and he knows we know and he still asks someone in the office to go out with him.  That is sleazy!”

Grace summed it up.  “OK, I think we’ve effectively eliminated Glen.  And Brick, and Cary and Tom and who else is there?”

Jan filled in the silence again, “You guys have been great to try to do this for me but let’s be real, Eddie looks pretty darn good compared to the rest.  I guess my Mom might be right.  Maybe I am too picky.”

After a few moments of
quiet drinking at the table, Grace looked at Jan and whispered, “Tom has to look pretty good too.  Are you sure you don’t want to test the waters there?”

Jan stared at her drink for a moment and decided enough was enough.  “I think we need to take a break from all this and just relax.  I’ll figure something out and be OK.  Besides, I can almost see the bottom of my drink.  I think we need one more round.”

To that, all the ladies let out a whoop and agreed.  Grace stood up and raised her glass in a toast.  “To Jan, if anyone can figure this one out, it’s her!”  They all drank and laughed and Jan smiled.  A real smile this time, not the phony one she put on too often.  When you had this many good friends, you were indeed blessed, she thought.  One more round led to two and then Ellen drove them all home.  Quite a night. 

Completing her reverie,
Jan finished her lunch and promised herself she really would find a way to solve this.  She reached into her purse for a spare napkin and her fingers touched something else instead.  The coin from the lake.  She rubbed it lightly and took some strength from it.  She could do this.  A germ of an idea was taking hold.

PART TWO

Jan had a productive second half of her day.  She closed two small sales and set an appointment with a potentially large account in Bellevue.  She’d go see them this Thursday.  She was wrapping up loose ends when Tom stopped by her desk.  “Jan, I know this is ridiculously short notice but I have a dinner meeting with
the Haley and Simpson Architects tonight and I just learned my contact is bringing two managers with him.  I don’t want to be outgunned three to one.  That’s uncomfortable.  Would you be available to go with me tonight?”

“Well, I … sure, I could go.  How soon?”

“Um, actually, we need to leave right away.”

“OK, no problem.  Give me two minutes in the powder room and I’m ready.”

They pulled up at the JB Steakhouse on Lake Union fifteen minutes later and found they had arrived before the others.  Tom helped Jan with her chair and then seated himself.  “Thanks for doing this, Jan.  I know they are going to have some technical questions and, well, we both know I’m more of a generalist than a technician so it will really help to have a sales superstar like you here.”

OK, that was the probably the nicest thing he’d ever said to her
, Jan thought. 
This was shaping up to be a better start than she expected.  Funny how things worked.

Jan’s mind wandered a bit to her other problem. 
Not the best time to be telling him bad news but I should get it over with. 
She decided to launch into it before the customers arrived.  “Um, Tom, I know you probably don’t need bad news right now, but you should know we didn’t get the Mason Construction account.  They went with OrcaTel.”

“Ugh ……. That is bad news.  Mason could have made our Q4 numbers for us all by itself.  What happened? I thought Amy was confident about them?”

“She was, but it was getting a bit heavy so I took over the account and, well, this one was my screw-up.  I didn’t read how price sensitive they were.  I’m sorry.”

Tom looked displeased but he tried to hide it well. “That’s the way it goes.  Sometimes you’re the shark and sometimes you’re lunch.  You’ve landed a lot of others.  I know you’ll get some more.”

The trio from H&S arrived, saving Jan from further discussion on that sore topic and they moved on and enjoyed a leisurely two hour dinner.  Jan fielded some difficult questions and acquitted herself quite well.  Clearly Tom was impressed as were the three from the architectural firm.  When it was done, they all shook hands and agreed to continue the conversation soon.  Both Tom and Jan felt confident they would be in the fold quickly.  After they had left, Tom reached over and placed his hand on Jan’s.  Growing quite serious, he confided, “Jan, I was wondering if you’d like a coffee or something else.  I have something I wanted to discuss with you.”

“Of course, coffee would be just fine.”

Tom flagged down the waiter, ordered a coffee for Jan and an Irish coffee for himself and then turned to face her directly.  “I was wondering.  I wasn’t sure if you were aware that my wife and I separated about five-six months ago.”

Jan looked him in the eyes and
shared honestly, “Yes, actually I just found out a very short time ago.  I’m sorry.  I imagine it was difficult after so many years.”

The waiter arrived with Jan’s coffee and Tom waited for him to leave before he continued, “It was.  We’d
been married for 28 years and, well, I’m not sure exactly how to say this but I was wondering if you …”

“Yes?”  Jan was just a little too fast with her interruption.

Tom hesitated, then continued, “Well, I was wondering if you could help me with something that, really, only a woman can know.”

“I’m not sure but I will certainly be happy to try.”

“I appreciate that.”  It seemed as if a wave of relief had flown through Tom.  He smiled a bit more and then said, “I would really appreciate any help you can offer.  I am really a fish out of water here.  See, I really love my wife but I made a terrible error of judgment and the separation is totally my fault.  I want to get back together with her but I have no idea how to apologize properly or get her to feel about me the way she used to.  I thought, you know, from a woman’s perspective, maybe you had some ideas of what I could do.”

The germ of an idea that Jan had earlier in the day just died a rapid death. 
It had been a stupid idea anyway
, she told herself
.  Putting some kind of move on Tom and testing the waters, as Grace said, was truly desperate
.  She was already contemplating what form Plan C was going to take as she tried to salvage the moment and offer some tips.

“Um, let me think about it a bit.  You know, I’ve never been married so I’m not sure I would be as good at giving advice as, say, Grace or maybe Ellen. 
You’re living separately I assume?”

“She’s renting a condo in Queen Anne.  I only see her two or three times a month.”

“Wow.  That makes it kind of hard to make an impression.  You’ve probably done the usual stuff, sending flowers and notes and stuff.”  She framed it like a question but she could tell by his head nod and wave of his hand that those attempts were done long ago and made no headway.  “I guess, honestly, I would say you have to give her the most sincere apology you can in person and promise you won’t, uh, do whatever it was that caused this again.  Maybe if you can be a bit more like you were when you both fell in love, she will start remembering what the good times were like.”

It was lame but it was all she had.  Mostly she just wanted to get out of there and go home.  What had started so promisingly, had ended so poorly for her.  Jan reminded herself that his problem was far
more serious than hers and this moment wasn’t really about her.  It was hard to be above the problem looking down when you felt trapped in the muck and messiness of it all.  Tom accepted her suggestion and nodded.  “I know I have to do that but I just, I don’t know, I just haven’t yet.  It helps to talk about it.  I’m sorry I burdened you with my issues but you are such a good listener and I just thought …”

“It’s not a problem.  I’m flattered that you wanted my opinion.  I know you love her so I believe you two will work it out.”   She paused.  There was really nothing else to say. 

As if on cue, Thomas felt the same and rose from his seat.  “C’mon, I’ll give you a lift back to your car.  Thanks for … you know.”

Not another word
was uttered on the trip back to the office parking lot.  When she got out of his Lexus, they said good night and Jan drove home with just one thought: 
I know what Plan C is and I guess it is time I be realistic and do what must be done.

Thursday came and Jan was hard at it, setting up appointments for next week and getting ready to head out to this afternoon’s sales calls.  Lunch was over and her first call of the day was at 1:30 just a short ten minute drive south of Downtown.  But, before she left, it was time to do what had to be done.

She glanced at Grace, who somehow seemed to divine what Jan was going to do even though she’d said nothing. 
Jan got up to leave but stopped short.  She turned and faced Grace, “You know, after doing the whole process of elimination thing with the so-called eligible bachelors around here, I realized that Eddie is not so terrible.  He’s hardly perfect but then neither am I.  He has his moments when he is awfully sweet and I don’t know … I just think I could probably do worse.”  She paused and stared at Grace waiting for some kind of confirmation that she wasn’t crazy.  It didn’t seem to be coming. 

Grace smiled.  “I am all for whatever you feel good about.  It’s not unusual to get a bit nervous about the whole ‘meet the family’ thing.  Trust yourself and do what you think is right.”

“I don’t know if it’s right but the cupboard is kinda bare right now.  This feels like a mature and reasoned action … which of course means it’s no fun.  But, I’m going to go do it anyway.  Wish me luck.”

“Luck”, deadpanned Grace.

Jan just put her head down and forced herself to walk out to the warehouse.  On her way, Amy stopped her and anxiously asked, “Did you tell Tom that I screwed up on Mason Construction?”  She looked like she was holding her breath as she waited for a response.

Jan just smiled.  “I smoothed it over.  Let it be and don’t bring it up with him.  He knows that you are a very good rep and we are lucky to have you.  Just keep your antenna up a bit higher so you can pick up on those price sensitive customers.  Don’t worry about it.  Plenty of fish in the sea and I totally one hundred percent believe in you.”

“Oh geez, I thought he might fire me”

Jan shook her head, “No way I’d let that happen.  Just relax and go out and land a different one.”

Amy smiled broadly.  “Thanks, Jan.  I’ll make you proud.”

“I already am.”  She waved as she extricated herself from the conversation and continued on her way to the warehouse.
 

She foun
d Eddie about where she expected, duly engrossed in the inventory process.  She assumed her nonchalant walk and strolled up to him. “Hey.  How you doin’ stranger?”

Eddie smiled and replied with a “
Doin’ great.  Saturday was fun, wasn’t it?”

Jan
decided to keep it light.  “Yeah, except that was five days ago and I just came back here to make sure you were still vertical.  I thought maybe you’d died or gone on vacation and forgot to tell me.”

“No way.  I’ve just been busy.”

“Well, speaking of that, I wanted to throw an idea out there.  My Mom and Dad are having their 40
th
Anniversary party on the 29
th
, remember I told you about that one, and I’d really like you to go with me.  It’s not a big deal.  Just a little party – lots of food and drink. Its two weeks from tomorrow so I thought we could just leave straight from work.  Sound OK?”

At that moment a perky young thing walked into the aisle.  She looked about 22, blonde,
perfect smile, a body to die for and what looked like a light in her eyes … for Eddie.  “Eddie, I’m done with Section E, now what do I do?”

Eddie seemed to blush and fumble a bit.  “Uh, just, uh, go over and hang with Jack for a minute and I’ll be right over.”  She said OK, gave a cutesy little wave and turned to walk away.  Eddie seemed to watch her wiggle from behind just a bit too long.

Then he turned to Jan and stammered, “Um, I’m sorry.  What were we talking about?”

Jan composed herself, took the high road and pretended to ignore what she was sure she saw.  “My parent
’s Anniversary Party.  We could leave here from work on Friday the 29
th
and go straight there.  Just clearing it on your calendar.  OK?”

Eddie looked down at his shoes as though his only mission in life was to count the grommets. 
Jan instantly had a bad feeling.  But her fears were dispelled when he looked back up and said, “Sure, ok.  Sounds kinda fun.” 

“
Great.  You know, it’s mostly a chance to get some free eats and drinks and listen to bad jokes for a while.  You might even have some fun.  I’ll catch you before then and fill you in so you know who all the players are, you know.  Maybe we’ll go do something between now and then.”

Eddie gave off a somewhat unnerving smile, waved a goodbye and headed over to whe
re Jack and the new girl were. Jan, somewhat timidly, headed back to the office.  The whole thing seemed a bit anticlimactic but the deed was done.  She’d have a date for the party and her Mom would be happy.  Jan knew, in the end that may have to be enough.

Glen finished the October financial report and closed his copy of QuickBooks.  He glanced over at his buddy, Lou, and whispered, “Can you hear it?” He cupped his ear as though he were trying to hear some small voice from far away. 

Lou did the same.  “I can.  I can hear it!”  Then, making a tiny high pitched voice, Lou said, “Glen!  Glen!  Come and drink me!  I’m your favorite beer.  Come and drink me ‘
cuz I know you won’t be getting any action tonight.”

Glen smiled at his friend.  “He’s not saying that.  He’s saying ‘Glen, hurry on over and drink me.  Five hundred International Fashion Models are waiting for you and they want your body.’  That is what the voice was saying.”

Lou shook his head.  “What an optimist.  The guy who thinks dating is a lost art form has a hundred models waiting for him.  Right.”

“Five hundred.”

“Whatever.  So, really, honestly, no bullshit, when was the last time you went out on a date.”  Lou crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair as though he were going to have to wait until the end of the millennium for an answer.

“I don’t know.”  Glen tried to brush him off.

Lou feigned shock. “You don’t know!  You don’t know?  This from the King of Numbers who keeps track of his bathroom breaks on a spread sheet?”

Glen waived his finger back and forth, “Wrong.  I stopped doing that two years ago.  And I don’t use Excel to track my dates.”

Lou loved these moments.  He countered, “Oh yeah, so c’mon, take a guess.  Give me sumthin’ here.  When was the last date?”

Glen enjoyed the nonsense as well.  It always broke up the day.  He pretended to be in deep thought and then slowly said, “Ok, let me think.”  After a short pause, he continued, “Um, when was Hoover President again?
”