In the Face of Darkness (Lily Culpepper Book 1) (9 page)

“It’s ok sweetheart” I heard the familiar sing song voice.  I looked up to see Endora's sweet smile looking down on me.

CHAPTER 11

The old Langley house was just as I remembered it.  It was like I never left.  It felt odd to be back with Endora after everything I’d been thru, but in a way it also felt right.  It felt like this was where I was supposed to be.  I shouldn’t have gone with Matthias and tried to be something I could never be.  I didn’t know if this was the destiny that my mother had told me about, but I didn’t care anymore.

I didn’t want a destiny if it didn’t have Matthias in it.  This was the only way I could be free.  My mother had never done anything for me, but now she expected me to follow some destiny she had planned for me.  A destiny that only led to pain and loneliness; I didn’t want that destiny.  I didn’t want a destiny that involved killing people and leaving orphans like Caligari.

“So you’re back” I heard Tino say from the porch.  There was no emotion in Tino’s voice; it was as if he never doubted the fact that I would be back.

“Yes” I told him.  He moved away from the door and allowed Endora and I to enter the house.

“Come and sit with me.  We have much to catch up on” she said.  Then she motioned for Tino to leave.  Once Tino was out of sight she turned to me.  Her face was unchanged, but I knew we were about to have a serious discussion.

“I don’t need to know why you left, but I do need to know that you are devoted to staying here and being the vampire that I need you to be” she said.  “Do you remember when I told you about how I became a vampire?” she asked.

“Yes, you were living on the street when Castor found you.”

“Yes, but what I didn’t tell you is that I wasn’t living on the streets alone” she said.  “I had a daughter.  She died before Castor found me.  We didn’t have a lot of food and she got sick.  I did what I could to get her medicine, but it didn’t help.  She died before her first birthday.”  I didn’t know what to say.  I had always seen Endora as a powerful vampire.  I had never thought about what her life had been like before becoming a vampire.  I realized that life had not been kind to Endora.

“I lost my daughter before I ever got to know her.  The pain was so bad I didn’t want to live anymore.  I started living a reckless life that would have gotten me killed.  Then Castor found me and he told me he could make me not feel the pain, and he did.  Becoming a vampire and killing did take the pain away, but it also took away the happiness I felt as a human.  I remember losing my daughter, but I don’t remember the pain.  I also don’t remember what it feels like to be happy.  I think I was happy when my daughter was born, but I don’t remember.  I want you to go into this knowing what it will take from you” she said.

“I am ready for this and I don’t care what it takes away from me” I told her.  I thought about yesterday and about how happy I was with Matthias, but then I thought about what it felt like to watch him die.  I knew that I would trade the happiness of that day to not feel the pain.

“And you understand what it means?” she asked.

“Yes” I said.

“Then we won’t talk about your leaving anymore.  I’m just glad you are home” she said.  “It’s getting early.  You should rest” she said.  “We are going to meet the Queen, and we leave tomorrow night”.

I gave Endora a small smile as I walked up the stairs to my bedroom.  When I opened the door the pink threatened to make me sick.  I closed the thick curtains before taking off the clothes I had been wearing for the last two days.  I filled the bathtub with warm water and bath salts.  I washed my hair and then sank deep into the warmth of the water.  I lay on the soft bubble gum pink bed, but the sweet oblivion of sleep would not come.  Tomorrow night I would meet the Queen and she would decide if I deserved to live as a vampire or if I would be killed.  I knew I would have to make a choice.  I would have to do the thing I had been avoiding.  I would have to kill someone.  I told myself that it didn’t matter if I killed or not.  Whoever they brought for me to kill would still end up just as dead.  I was a vampire and it was in my nature to kill.  I needed to stop fighting who I was and accept that I wasn’t the descendant of the Water Elemental, only a vampire.

I would make my kill tomorrow and give away the last of my humanity.  I would accept my destiny, but it would be the destiny that I chose.  Matthias was gone.  He would never know what I would become.  The only way to not be the
descendant of the Water Elemental was to fully embrace the vampire inside me.  If I gave up the last of my humanity then the water powers inside me would die.  Everything that I was would die.  I didn’t know what I would become, but I knew that I wouldn’t feel this pain.  I knew that tomorrow this would all be over.

CHAPTER 12

I watched the sun set from the window of my room.  I couldn’t let Endora or anyone else know that I didn’t feel the burn of the sun.  Soon we would be leaving for the Queen’s Sanctuary.  I had never met the Queen, and I wasn’t looking forward to meeting her.  Every new vampire had to be presented to the Queen, but I knew that Endora had been waiting until I made my first kill.  There were stories about the Queen killing new vampires that she didn’t approve of.  I knew she would not approve of the fact that I hadn’t made a kill, but I had to hope that Endora would protect me.

I threw a few clothes into a bag before I took a deep breath and went downstairs.

“The land witch is ready to go” I watched as Tino loaded a bound and gagged Jane into the van.  I looked at Jane’s face and I almost wished that I could help her.  I wished that our world didn’t exist the way that it, did but I knew there was nothing I could do to help her.  Jane had made her choice the moment she had gotten into my car.  At best she would be taken to the Queen and kept a slave like the humans.  At worst they would have me kill her.  I knew that if Endora asked me to kill Jane I would.  It would be easier to kill someone that I didn’t know.

We spent several days driving in a van with blacked out windows.  Castor was the only one to drive.  Eventually we reached a coast, it was impossible to tell which one.  Castor drove us deep into a dark cave where the sub-shuttles were docked.

The windows to the sub-shuttle were not blacked out and I watched as we dove deeper and deeper.  I watched as the ocean floor opened up to us.  It was night, but the lights on the shuttle illuminated the water around us.  I knew we were close to the Queen’s Sanctuary when I saw the water witches.  They were the reason for the myth of mermaids.  The Sanctuary was built to look like a castle, but it actually looked more like a prison with the reinforced steel necessary to withstand the pressure of being so far underwater.

Inside the Sanctuary was a different world.  It was like stepping back in time.  It seemed like a wonderful place where anything could happen.  The Japanese influences gave the place a peaceful and calming atmosphere.  You would never guess that this was the lair of the powerful and deadly vampire Queen.

“Caster, you were expected over a week ago” we were greeted by a man who I assumed was some kind of witch since he wasn't a vampire.  I saw nothing noteworthy about the man until I looked up and saw his eyes.  The iris of his eyes were almost as dark as his pupils and they stood out against his pale skin.  It wasn’t just the color that stood out; those eyes looked like they missed nothing and knew everything.

“Yes, we were delayed” Caster said, and I was impressed that he managed to keep the sarcasm from his voice.

“Your accommodations are ready for you as always.  The Queen will see you tomorrow after you have rested from you trip” the dark eyed man said.  The accommodations he was referring to was one of the seven wings that were used when the council members and their entourage were in residence.  Once we were in Castor’s wing everyone began dividing up the room.  Tino and one of Castors vampires got into a heated argument about who should be in one of the larger rooms.  I had to keep from smiling when Castor’s vampire won and Tino was forced to share a room with another vampire. 

My room was barely big enough for me to move around the twin bed, but it was private.  I sat on my small bed.  I didn’t think that I would be able to find the peace I needed before the night came.  So instead of worrying about my first kill, I thought about how I would feel afterwards.  I thought about the peace that was supposed to come when I gave up my humanity.  I thought about what it would feel like to not have my humanity.  I would be like Endora and Tino.  I would be the vampire that I was meant to be.  I wouldn’t be who I was anymore.  I didn’t want to be who I was anymore.  I didn’t want to feel human emotions any longer.

I wasn’t even able to find the vampire-like sleep that I craved.  Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was Caligari killing Matthias.  Matthias wasn’t supposed to come back for me.  He was supposed to leave and live the rest of his live without thinking of me.  Instead, he died saving me.  I rose from the bed well before sunset and went into the main room of the wing.  I found Castor sitting alone.  I thought about going back to my room, but by the time I turned around he had already seen me.

“Are you ready for this?” he asked.

“Do I have a choice?” I asked.

“I like you” he said.

“I’m glad someone does” I said.

“Do you know how to Waltz?” he asked.

“No” I said.  Why would I know how to Waltz? I thought.

“You’re going to need to Waltz at the party” he said as he stood and came towards me.  I back away on instinct.

“What party?” I asked.

“The party the Queen is throwing.  It’s not often all seven council members are together, but when we are you can be sure there will be a big party.  The Waltz is very simple” he held out his right hand to me.  I reluctantly took it and found myself encircled in his arms.  “Put your left hand on my bicep.  You are going to go back on your right foot then just follow me” he said.  “Not bad” he said as I shakily followed his steps.

“Why are all seven council members here?” I asked.  I didn’t know a lot about the vampire council, but I did know that it took a lot to get them all together.

“Because of you” he said.  “Because of what we are hoping you can do”.

“And what is that?” I asked him.

“I’ll tell you when you are ready, but now you should go upstairs and get ready.  You’ll find a dress in the closet in your room” he said as he let go of me.

I forced a smile as I turned and walked back to my room.  Once I was inside I went straight to the closet and found the dress Castor had told me was there.  I was expecting something tight fitting and black, but I was pleasantly surprised to find a long flowing white dress.  I put the dress on and smiled when I saw myself in the mirror.  I reached for the black eyeliner out of habit, but then I put it down realizing it didn’t go with the dress.

I looked in the mirror again and thought I looked like a bride.  That thought made me think of Matthias.  I wondered if we would have gotten married if things had been different.  What would our lives look like now if I wasn't a vampire and he wasn't in the Brotherhood?  I stopped that trail of thought as soon as I felt the tears welling up.  Crying over Matthias would not get me through the night.

“Lily, you look… Very pretty” Endora said as I emerged from my small room and entered the large common room.  Endora and Castor were the only ones in the common room.  They were sitting close together on the only couch, and by the way they had both turned to look at me as I entered made me think that I had interrupted a private moment.  I sat down in the chair opposite of the couch not caring what I had interrupted.  We waited in silence for Tino to emerge from his room.

Castor led the four of us onto a large circle balcony where we could look down at the party below.  The party guests were a mix of vampires and witches.  Some of the vampires were feeding from witches.  The Queen allowed her guests to feed from the witches as long as it was consensual.  The witches didn’t look like they minded being fed from.  For the first time I wondered what it was like for a human to be fed from.  To me the feeding looked messy and violent, but the look of bliss on the witches face’s said they felt differently.

“Looks like things are in full swing.  Care to dance?” Castor asked as he took Endora’s hand and led her down the stairs to the dance floor in the middle of the main room.  Tino and I followed them.  Once we reached the bottom of the stairs Castor led Endora onto the dance floor.  Tino gave me a curt nod then disappeared into the crowd leaving me alone.  I wasn’t alone for long; soon I was surrounded by vampires and witches alike.  Some of them made polite conversation, but most of them just whispered about me.  I had never felt so on display before.

“Would you do me the honor?” a vampire wearing the symbol of the council asked, but he was already pulling me onto the dance floor before I could respond.  I was thankful that Castor had showed me how to waltz because that seemed to be the dance of choice in this place.  Once the dance ended there was another council member there to take his place.  They asked me things like where I was from and when I was turned.  None of them asked me anything about being the
descendant of the Water Elemental.  I assumed there was a reason for that, but I didn’t ask.  They also didn’t care to offer any information about themselves, and I didn’t ask because I didn’t care. 

After the third dance I managed to sneak off to a dark corner to find a moment alone.  I just wanted this night to be over.  I never again wanted to see Matthias die every time I closed my eyes.  I had to get thru the night.  I told myself that I could do this.  I could get thru this party, and I could kill a stranger to save myself.  I didn’t fully understand what would happen after tonight, but I worry about that tomorrow. 

“Are you having fun?” I looked up to see a dark eyed man watching me.

“I don’t think I’m meant to have fun” I told him.

“So, you’re the heir of Water Elemental that everyone is talking about” he said.

“And who are you?” I asked.

“My name’s Enlil” he said.

“I meant what are you?” I said.

“I’m an air witch” he said.

“Why are you here?” I asked.

“I protect the Queen” he said.

“Why would the vampire Queen need an air witch to protect her?” I asked.

“Hold out your hand” he said and I did as he asked.  He held out both his hand palms up about a foot under my hand.  “Try to move your hand” he said.  The moment I tried to move my hand I felt the pressure.  It was like the air was pressing down on my hand from all sides. 

“That’s a neat trick, but I still don’t see what use the Queen would have for a parlor trick” I said.  Then I felt my entire body being frozen.

“If you were human I could compress the air around you so hard it would crush your lungs, but since vampires don’t have the need to breath the pressure won’t kill you, but it will hold you in place for as long as I want” he said.

“Can all air witches do that?” I asked once the pressure had stopped.

“No” he said.

“There you are” I heard Tino say.  “The time has come. The Queen wants to see us” he said as if he had been reading my thought.  Just a few minutes more and I would finally be at peace.

***

The room we met the Queen in was ornately decorated with same the same Japanese influences as the rest of the Queen’s sanctuary.  The room gave off a sense of calm and peace, which I found odd since I would be asked to make my first kill in this room.  I would have preferred a cold, sterile room, but I wasn't in control in the Queen's sanctuary.  I wondered if the Queen would let me choose the human that I was to kill or if one had already been chosen for me. 

I didn’t really want to choose the person I would kill, but I also didn’t like thinking the choice wasn't mine to make.  I told myself that it didn’t matter.  I would kill whoever I could to lose my humanity.  I told myself that it would be over quickly.  I would bite into the carotid artery and just let the blood flow into me.  It would be quick.

The room wasn’t small, but it felt crowded with all seven council members, Tino, Endora, the Queen, and a few witches, including Enlil, gathered into the room.  The council members were assembled in the back of the room except for Castor, who was in the center of the room with Endora and me.  Tino was leaning against one of the side walls.  The Queen sat at the front of the room with Enlil standing at her side.

The Queen was a small woman by any standards.  She looked like she was younger than I was when she was turned into a vampire, but I could tell she was old by looking into her eyes.  Her eyes told a story of a girl who had seen too much in her many years on this earth.  It was odd how her eyes didn’t match the rest of her.  I thought it was almost jarring to look at her, and I noticed that many in the room did not look directly at her, but I couldn't look away.  I wondered if I was looking at my future.  I wondered if I would become like her.  I wondered if one day I would look frozen in time with dangerous eyes. 

“So, you’re the one I’ve heard so much about” the Queen said.  “I heard you ran away recently, but then you came back.  Tell me, why did you come back?” she asked.

“This is where I belong” I told her.

“And you are ready to fully embrace this life?” she asked.

“Yes” I said.  Then I saw the man behind the Queen.  I couldn’t believe I was looking at the man who killed Matthias.  I hoped that he was the one I would have to kill.  Killing Caligari would be easy.  He was the one person I would enjoy killing.  I took a step towards him, but I felt the pull of Endora’s control telling me that I couldn’t kill him.

“Surprised to see me?” he asked.

“Yes” it was all I could do to hold back my anger.  I didn’t want him to know that I cared.  I didn’t want him to know that he could get to me.  Endora could only hold me back for so long, and I could wait.  One day I would kill him.  After tonight I didn’t know what I would be, but I did know that I wouldn’t feel an ounce of remorse after killing Caligari.