In Control (The City Series) (8 page)

“We got it,” I echoed.

Trish nodded and stood up. When she left the room, Wren moved onto the couch next to me.

“What’s going on?” He took my hands, kissing each palm before placing them in his lap.

“What are you talking about?”

“Kingsley.”

The way Wren said my name, I half expected him to slap me on the wrist. I kept quiet, holding it all in. I was so sure that I wanted to get serious last night. Fifteen hours after my confession, my certainty was waning.

“When Trish said the word
relationship,
you practically crumbled in your seat.” Wren let go of my hands and rested his arms against the back of the sofa, focusing on the fan circulating above us.

“I guess I’m just not used to hearing my name and that word in the same sentence.” I cradled his face, pleading with him to look at me. “Look, Wren, I know what I told you last night, and I meant every word, but we need to go slow with things.”

“
Slow
with things? Are you kidding?”

His voice grew loud, and I shushed him, knowing Trish wasn’t far away. I didn’t want her to know that we were arguing. I didn’t know why it was so important to me that she saw my
relationship
as something that was good.

“We’ve been at this for nine months now. Do you want to go back in time and not fuck me every night? Because we can’t do that.” Wren stood up, pushing my hand away as I tried to grab his.

“Please,” I pleaded, “just listen to me. All I’m saying is that I need to learn how to go about all of this. You and me. The serious stuff. I don’t know how to do it, but I’m willing to
try
.”

Trish walked past the living room and into the kitchen. She ignored the tension in the room and began boiling water in her teapot. I looked into the kitchen and then at Wren, silently begging him not to leave.

“Would you two like a cup of tea?” Trish asked.

“No, thank you, Trish,” Wren answered. “I was actually on my way out.” He looked over at me before putting on his jacket.

Don’t go
is what I wanted to yell.
Stay
is what I didn’t plead. “I’ll call you later” was what I said.

Wren left without another word. I wanted to chase after him, again, but I didn’t. I stayed seated, practically glued to the couch cushion.

“Did Wren just leave?” Trish asked, walking into the room, mug in hand. “I would have thought you two would be spending the day together. It is summer after all.”

The smell of the tea brought an instant comfort. The distinct aroma of bergamot orange filled the air, and my muscles immediately relaxed. Ever since Trish realized that the smell of Earl Grey tea calmed me, she often made it when she sensed I was stressed. I lowered my gaze to the floor, ashamed that Trish had to witness our fight.

“Yeah, he had things to do,” I lied.

Trish sat in the same chair from earlier, but this time scooted it closer to the couch. She took a sip of her tea before she spoke. “Kingsley, I heard the argument.” She grasped my hand and began gently rubbing it. “I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

I looked into her eyes, wanting so badly to open up. Between Wren wanting me to express my feelings and Trish wanting me to reveal everything, I was beginning to feel smothered.

“Wren asked me to go to the Hamptons with him,” I admitted.

Her composed expression swiftly changed into a full-on smile. “Oh my goodness!” she exclaimed, jumping from her chair and joining me on the couch. “That’s so great. You said yes, right? Will his parents also be there?”

“In a roundabout sort of way, and yes, I’m assuming they will be.” I looked at the clock hanging above the mantle. Wren had been gone for ten minutes. I wondered if he crossed the street. I wondered if he was just stepping into his apartment. If he was laying on his bed, staring at his cell and waiting for me to call.

“What do you mean? You didn’t say yes?” Trish’s eyebrows pushed together.

“I agreed to go. Let’s just keep it at that. I stood up and grabbed my phone from the coffee table. “Look, I need to fix things.
Somehow. Some way.”

“Kingsley, he loves you. He looks at you like he’s just struck gold. You have to show him that you care just as much.”

I’d given that same advice to myself, but never followed it. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I could fix this situation with three words.

I shut my bedroom door behind me and dialed his number.

“Kingsley.”

Wren’s strangled voice made me shiver as I crawled into my welcoming bed. I opened my mouth, expecting the words to just flow out, but nothing came. I just stayed quiet and listened to Wren’s steady breathing.

“Kingsley?”

The silence had become unbearable.

“Hi,” I finally spit out. “Wren, I—”

“Don’t,” he interrupted. “Don’t say that you’re sorry you can’t say certain things, or you feel terrible for not feeling the same way about me. I don’t want to hear that.”

“What do you want to hear?”

“I just want to know one thing, Kingsley.” He paused before continuing, almost as if he were waiting for me to cut in. “I want to know if you actually meant what you told me on that street corner.”

I licked my lips. I closed my eyes. I allowed Trish’s advice to sink into me and soak up all of my cowardice. “I meant every word.”

Have you ever been on the phone with someone, and you could almost feel their smile through the receiver? One that was so apparent that it made you smile as well? I could feel Wren’s cheeks lift. I could feel his eyes flutter and then close, because that’s what he did when something made him really happy. Not only was his joy contagious, but it also gave me promise that maybe my heart could be repaired.

I woke the next morning still clutching the yearbook to my chest. Yesterday, I was punished for something I didn’t do, so I stayed in the basement for the remainder of the night, only going upstairs to use the restroom. No one came and checked on me and I was okay with that. I refused to give Mr. and Mrs. Henderson the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I stood up slowly, my arms and knees aching from the earlier fall. Bending down, I inspected my body for any bruises or cuts, only noticing one below my left elbow.

The front door opened and I heard Mrs. Henderson saying goodbye to someone. Without any thought, I raced up the twenty-five steps to shower as quickly as I could. Just as I was coming out of the bathroom, Mr. Henderson was walking up the stairs. I clung to my bathrobe, frightened by his presence.

Mr. Henderson had never hit me before, but I was terrified in his company. Whenever I was in the same room as him, I’d find him staring at me, studying my body. He made me feel uncomfortable, like I had to cover up every inch of skin so he had nothing left to admire. Most times, he wouldn’t say a word to me; if it wasn’t for the way his eyes lit up whenever I walked into the room, I’d be convinced I was invisible to him.

He stood at the top step, blocking me from walking past. “What were you doing in there for so long?”

“I was just showering. Getting ready for day.”

“You have a bathroom downstairs.”

I didn’t stand close to Mr. Henderson, but I could still feel his breath on my face as he spoke. I looked down at his feet, disgusted at the sight. His toenails were long, and the corner of his big toe was as yellow as an ear of corn.

“The toilet stopped working last week. I told you—”

Mr. Henderson’s hand collided against my cheek so hard that I ended up falling backward onto the bathroom tile. I looked at the floor, cradling my cheek and willing myself not to cry. He kneeled in front of me, waiting for me to look up at him. When I finally did, he spoke, his words coated with venom.

“If you ever talk to me like that again, you’ll sleep outside with the animals.”

He pushed me out of the way, slamming the bathroom door against my back. Still holding my cheek, I rose to my feet just as Andrew ran up the stairs.

Andrew was my favorite of all the children in the house. He was the only one under our roof that asked me to play with him and the only one that gave me any sort of affection.

The moment Andrew saw me, he stopped in his tracks. His face was all chubby cheeks and big green eyes. He was only six, so his world was still filled with rainbows and happily ever afters.

“Kingsley?” His eyes moved over my face. “Why are you sitting on the floor? What’s wrong with your face?” Andrew sat down in front of me and crossed his legs. With his tiny fingers, he touched my hand.

“I’m okay, Drew. I just fell.” I took his hand in mine and squeezed it, hoping to ease his worry.

“Your face!” Andrew’s hand shot up to my cheek. “It’s all red!”

“Drew, shhh,” I whispered, knowing Mr. Henderson was near. “I’m fine, I just hurt myself. See?” I pretended to slap my cheek, mustering a smile even though I could feel my eyes gloss over with tears. I counted to ten in my head, breathing in deeply with each number.

“Daddy did that, didn’t he?” Andrew’s bottom lip jutted out. His cheeks turned a bright pink as his eyes became glossy.

A tear trickled down my cheek without my permission. I had never once cried in front of anyone, but when I saw how sad Andrew was on my account, I wasn’t able to stop myself.

I was about to tell the truth when Mr. Henderson swung open the bathroom door. He stared down at us like we had just stolen the most precious item he owned. Andrew shot up, looking from me to Mr. Henderson, and without saying another word, ran into his bedroom and shut the door. I clenched my teeth, fearing the worst.

“What did you tell Andrew?” Mr. Henderson shouted. He bent down, grabbing me by my arm and yanking me upward.

“I-I didn’t tell him anything,” I fumbled. “I-I told him I hurt myself. I promise.”

Mr. Henderson grabbed onto my robe, his liquored breath filling the air around us. “Go to your room, Kingsley. I’ll be down later to teach you a lesson.”

The moment he walked away, I sucked too much air into my lungs, unable to stop myself from hyperventilating. I was shaking from head to toe, but I couldn’t stay in that spot. I couldn’t risk being seen again. If another one of the kids found me, I’d be doomed.

I shut the door to the basement, wishing there was a way to lock it; a way to keep Mr. Henderson out. I searched through the countless boxes that filled most of the basement, looking for anything that could keep the door from being opened, even though I knew there was nothing in this world that could keep me safe from him.

The sheets on my bed sheltered me as I watched the sun disappear from view. I’d made a point to stay in bed all day, not wanting to get into any more trouble. It was getting late, and Mr. Henderson hadn’t made an appearance. He’d never been down in the basement. He’d never shown any interest in talking to me. His wife was always the one that hit me or yelled at me, but now I realized that this whole time, he was the one I should fear the most.

After a while, I stopped hearing footsteps upstairs. The children’s laughter had died down, and all I heard was the news blaring from the living room TV. Mr. Henderson must have forgotten about me. He must be out getting drunk. Relief washed over me, and my tired eyes finally closed.

I felt a draft hit my skin and tried wrapping the sheet tighter around my body. I kept pulling and pulling, tugging at the worn fabric. Frustration woke me, and I opened my eyes to see someone staring back. My breath hitched and I reacted by pulling at the sheet once more, trying desperately to cover myself up.

“How can you look so peaceful when you live this kind of life?” Mr. Henderson asked as he reached over and touched my face.

I froze. My entire body was a mountain of ice. His deep brown eyes were the only thing I could see in the darkness. He shifted his weight on the mattress, moving closer to me. I couldn’t stop my body from shaking, and as it did, Mr. Henderson laughed. He knew I was petrified of what was coming, yet he did nothing to ease my discomfort.

“Please,” I choked. “Please don’t hurt me.”

“I’m not going to hurt you, Kingsley,” he said as his hand moved to the top of the sheet. “I just want to see you.”

I repressed a sob in my throat, trying desperately to remain brave. Mr. Henderson moved the sheet off of my body, a small grin flashing on his face. I wore the same thing to bed each night. The gym shorts I’d had since I was ten were small, and over the years, my legs had become fuller. My t-shirt had also shrunk, and it showed the outline of my breasts, which seemed to have grown two cup sizes overnight.

Mr. Henderson gawked at my figure. His eyes moved over every part of me, and I watched as his eyes flashed with satisfaction. I tried reaching for the sheet, but he grabbed onto my hand so tightly, tears swam down my face.

“Don’t. Move.” He pushed my hand into the mattress, forcing it down with his own. With his free hand, he cradled my face. “You’re a real beauty. It’s a shame it’s taken me this long to realize it. When you stood in the hallway this morning, just out of the shower, your hair still soaked, that’s when I realized how pretty you are.”

I could no longer control myself. I began sobbing, begging him to let me go to sleep.

“Please, Mr. Henderson. I just want to sleep. I promise I won’t cause any more trouble. I won’t say anything, just please don’t hurt me.” I could barely speak, but I managed to add, “I won’t tell Mrs. Henderson that you came down here. I’ll keep it a secret.”