HOT SEAL Lover (HOT SEAL Team - Book 2) (17 page)

“Then watch this. Watch as I disappear inside you.”

She watched. And the tension inside her gathered into a hard knot. It was beautiful the way his cock sank into her again and again. He was slick and shiny with her juices. And the word came to her head again:
mine.

MINE.

“Can’t last, baby,” he said on a groan before pushing her against the wall again and surging inside her harder and faster than before. “Come for me, Christina.”

As if she was waiting for him to command her, she splintered apart in that moment, gasping for air as stars exploded behind her eyes. He rocked into her two more times and then groaned as he came deep inside her.

“
I
didn’t think
you were coming,” she said as they lay in her bed together. Even after holding her against the wall for so long, he’d still managed to carry her upstairs to her bed after they’d finished earlier.

It hadn’t taken long before he was buried inside her again, rocking into her and making her beg for mercy before she exploded in yet another spectacular orgasm.

Now they lay together, him on his back, her halfway across his chest, the covers thrown back because they were hot even though it was cool outside.

Christina loved touching him. She couldn’t get enough of touching him. Even now, her hands roved over hard, hot muscle.

Remy’s eyes were hooded, sensual. “Always with you, baby.”

She sighed and smacked him playfully. “I wasn’t talking about that kind of coming. I meant coming to see me.”

“I know. Fun to tease you though.” He drew in a breath. “So you thought I’d changed my mind?”

“Yes.”

“Told you the job is unpredictable.”

Her heart hitched. “But Remy—when those men showed up at the pier. God, I was so scared for you. Cody said you would be fine, and Matt said all the SEALs were accounted for when I called him—but I feared the worst before that.”

His fingers skimmed up and down her naked spine. “Just another day at the office,
cher
. Those men weren’t prepared for the likes of us. We disarmed them and left them tied in the warehouse. Then we got on the next assault boat.”

“But I never saw you before we were taken from the carrier.”

“No, you didn’t. My team and I had somewhere else to be for a little while. Told you it might be like that.”

She sucked in a breath. “Yes, you did. I just wished I’d known you were okay.”

“I wanted to get word to you—but there was no way to do it. No time. I knew you’d learn our status from Matt.”

“I suffered for hours…” She sighed. “I guess I have no choice but to forgive you. Especially if you give me another orgasm or two tonight.”

He laughed. “I can definitely do that, honey. Next time let’s try it from behind. In your bathroom where you can watch it all in the mirror.”

Christina shivered. “It’d be better with a three-way mirror.”

“Then we’ll head down to the nearest department store and snag a dressing room.”

“I half believe you’d do it if I said yes.”

“Nah, not really. But don’t think I’m not going mirror shopping tomorrow. And then I’m fucking you every conceivable way I can think of so you can watch it all. Dirty girl.”

Christina’s cheeks were hot, but she laughed. “Only dirty with you, Remy.”

His eyes sparked. “Oh yeah?”

Her heart pounded, but as usual she’d told him the truth. “Yes, only you.”

“You never told a man to fuck you real good before?”

And now her cheeks were seriously hot. But she
had
said that to him, hadn’t she? And other things besides. Like how much she loved his cock. The size, the shape, the girth. Oh dear.

“No, I never have. In fact, I don’t think I’ve used the word fuck in bed before. Ever. Ben wasn’t a dirty talker—or at least not with me. He did tell Chardonnay to fuck him in the ass, after all, so I guess he didn’t mind the dirty words. He just minded them with me.”

She thought about Ben being horrified with her for her language earlier today. She almost told Remy about that but then thought it probably wasn’t a good thing to keep mentioning her ex-husband while in bed with her current lover.

He’d been so angry the last time she’d told him about Ben showing up that if she said Ben had been here again, Remy would probably do something rash like go and pound her ex into the ground.

She didn’t need that. Remy didn’t need that. And besides, she didn’t want Ben spoiling her good time here tonight. Which he would if she mentioned he’d come to see her again.

“I don’t mind them at all, for the record. I especially don’t mind them when you want to tell me what to do to you in bed.”

She bit her lip and then dropped her chin and rested it on his chest. “So did you consider not coming to see me when you got back? I’d understand if you said you did.”

He tipped her chin up with a finger and held her gaze long enough that she started to squirm.

“I came straight here from the airport. I didn’t go home. I didn’t call anyone or do anything except come to you. I couldn’t think of anything but you, Christina.”

And didn’t that just make her feel tingly all over? Tingly and special and good about herself, as if she were made of awesome.

She hadn’t felt like she was made of awesome since, well, ever. And yet it scared her too. What was it about this man that got under her skin and made her feel so spectacular? And what would happen if that went away?

She’d survived Ben’s betrayal, but it hadn’t been easy. She’d been stunned at first. Then sad, then mad, then numb. And then she’d been determined to build a cocoon around herself, to never feel so vulnerable again.

She’d done a good job of it—and then she’d met Remy and he’d made everything go sideways in the short space of time she’d let him into her life and her bed.

He’d been supposed to be a fling, a hot sexy time with a beautiful man in order to make her feel better, but he’d turned out to be dangerous to the walls she’d built to keep people out.

And here she was letting him back in, knowing that this time the walls would crumble and she’d be more vulnerable than ever.

He pushed her hair behind her ear. “That bothers you, doesn’t it?”

She hesitated. “It doesn’t bother me.”

“I think it does.”

She dropped her gaze for a moment. “All right… It scares me just a little bit.”

“Care to tell me why?”

“Because I’m afraid of caring too much about you, and then you’ll leave.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“You don’t really know that,” she scoffed. “People leave. They get tired of each other and they say, ‘I’m done.’ Happens every day.”

His brows drew down and he looked pissed. “Don’t you think we need to take this a day at a time? We haven’t even started yet, and you’re forecasting the end of this relationship. Can’t you just enjoy what’s going on here?”

It was a simple enough question, and yet she didn’t have an answer. Because it wasn’t entirely simple to her. None of this was simple—and he didn’t understand.

“Are we having a relationship?” she asked.

He looked angrier than he had a moment ago. “If it’s not a relationship, what is it?”

She was very aware of her naked flesh pressed to his. Of the feel of all that hot, smooth skin and hard muscle. Maybe it was kind of ridiculous to discuss whether or not this was a relationship under the circumstances.

Still, she swallowed and refused to look away even though it would have been more comfortable. “We’ve had sex a few times, Remy. I’m not sure what this is yet.”

They looked at each other for a long moment. But she wasn’t prepared for what he did next. He sat up, pushing her away from him, and then climbed from the bed. When he started to jerk on his jeans, her stomach clenched tight.

She bolted upright, clutching the sheet to her body. “Where are you going?”

“Home.” His eyes flashed as they met hers again. “We did the one-night-stand thing six months ago, Christina. A week ago you told me you wanted more. You implied you were ready to move forward—if that’s not true, then I’m going home and this is over.”

Her heart skipped at the idea of him walking out. Sure, it would hurt for a little while, but she’d get over it. And then she’d be alone again. Safe, her heart locked up tight and impenetrable.

God, how lonely and sad that sounded.

“I’m trying,” she said. “I know this is easy for you, but for me it’s more complicated. I haven’t even been divorced a year. My ex humiliated me in public and destroyed my trust. I’m afraid. Afraid of feeling too much, afraid of it blowing up in my face—afraid of myself and my judgment.”

He’d stopped in the act of closing his jeans. Now abdominal muscles that mere mortals didn’t possess flexed as he bent and picked up his shirt. He didn’t put it on though, and it dangled from his fingers, forgotten. He was tousled and sexy and her belly tightened. He looked as if he could climb back in bed just as easily as walk out of her life.

“I understand that, baby,” he said softly. “But you’re going to have to make up your mind about us. We’re either moving forward or we’re not. And if we’re not, I’m outta here. I’m not investing more time in you if it’s going nowhere.”

She wanted to scream. And she wanted to tug him back to the bed and shut him up with her mouth on his. But he wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Why do we have to define this?” she asked, desperation prowling through her veins. “Why can’t we just see what happens?”

He shook his head. “You are so messed up you don’t even see it, do you? Jesus, Christina—you’re forecasting the end of something you refuse to call a relationship, but then you want to see what happens, take it a day at a time, right? That’s fucked up because you can’t do both. If we take it a day at a time, it’s a relationship and we’re moving forward.”

Her heart throbbed. He was right, of course. She shoved her hands through her hair and pressed them to her skull. And then she took a deep breath. “I don’t know what I want, Remy. I can’t put a label on this right now—but I know I don’t want you to go. Please don’t go.”

He let out a long sigh. “Then I won’t go. But
cher
, this
is
a relationship. We’re seeing each other. That sweet body of yours belongs to me. Nobody else but me. Is that a problem for you?”

Relief roared through her.

“No.” Because she’d have to be crazy to want another man when she had this one.

He pulled the shirt on and zipped up his pants. It wasn’t quite what she thought he’d been planning to do, and she watched him warily, uncertain what was going on.

“Come on, baby,” he said as he picked up her panties and tossed them at her. “I’m starved. Let’s find an IHOP and tear into some pancakes before the next round.”

She blinked. “The next round?”

He shot her a wolfish grin. “You didn’t think I was finished with you, did you? All night long, Christina. All night long.”

R
emy lifted
the weight stack and did eight quick reps before dropping the bar again and blowing out a breath.

“Good job,” Cowboy said. “Considering you’ve skipped the gym for a week…”

Remy snorted as he picked up the towel and wiped his face. “I was busy. And I didn’t skip it.”

Or not completely, anyway. Christina had a treadmill in her house. She also had a weight bench, but the weights were laughable for someone his size. So he’d settled for lifting her instead.

Rep after rep on his cock. Standing, sitting, standing again. Yeah, not a bad way to go. He’d gone to fatigue—that point at which his muscles burned—so it had to count.

Not that he was mentioning any of that to Cowboy.

“Man, we’ve hardly seen you.”

“We get R & R after a mission. I’ve been relaxing.”

Cowboy snorted. “Relaxing. Riiight. Does it involve a pretty brunette named Christina Girard?”

Before he could answer, another voice called out, “Yeah, does it?”

Both Remy and Cowboy swung around to see Matt Girard standing there. He was dressed in workout gear, and he sported a frown that would make lesser men tremble.

Remy was not about to tremble, however. Yeah, Christina was the man’s sister, which meant that he was concerned for her. Remy got that. If he’d done a better job of protecting Roxie, maybe she’d still be alive today.

Goddammit, stop that. Nothing you could do. She didn’t tell you the truth. She didn’t tell anyone the truth.

“Hmm, think I heard someone call my name,” Cowboy said as he slung his towel over his shoulder and strolled for the door. They all knew it wasn’t true as they were the only three in the HOT HQ gym.

Remy mopped the sweat from his face again. Then he met Matt’s laser-like stare. So similar to his sister’s and yet not. “Yeah, I’m seeing Christina. I care about her.”

Matt’s jaw flexed. “You could have told me, man. I think you owe me that much.”

A flash of anger sizzled through him. “With all due respect, Captain, I don’t owe you anything when it comes to my personal life. If I were seeing anyone else, you wouldn’t want to know who it is. Just because Christina is your sister doesn’t give you the right to know who she sees.”

“Motherfucker,” Matt grated. And then he shoved a hand through his hair and threw his head back, staring up at the ceiling for a long minute. “Look, I understand the principle here. You’re both adults. She doesn’t need my permission and neither do you—but dude, her ex fucked her over. He did a real number on her head, and I’m not sure she’s ready for another relationship right now—and especially not with someone like you. Like
us
, Remy. It takes a special woman to put up with what we do—and while I know my sister is as special as they come, she’s not cut out for our world.”

Remy’s gut clenched. Hell, he’d wondered about the first part himself. Wondered if he was pushing her too far and too hard. It wasn’t like he planned on proposing to her, so why the push to be together, to ride out this sexual wave until it ended?

He’d thought of walking away, of ending it all and moving on—and his chest ached. It was more than physical. There was something about her. About her sweet vulnerability and delicate strength. She attracted him like she was gravity and he an unmoored object. He fell into her because he couldn’t help himself.

It was scary as all fuck in a way and comforting in others. He wanted her, needed her. The thought of being without her hurt. He was strong. He’d survive. But he didn’t want to. He wanted Christina.

And as far as her not being cut out for their world? She was stronger than Matt thought she was. No, Remy didn’t want her ever in danger again, but the way she’d reacted told him she could handle this life. She hadn’t fallen apart in Qu’rim at all. She’d weathered the storm and kept her head the entire time. She was small and mighty.

“I know what happened with Ben. I have no intention of hurting her. And as for our world? I think that’s her choice—but you should know that she was amazing in Qu’rim. Never once lost her cool—and there was plenty there to fall apart over. She’s levelheaded and smart. She can handle more than you think she can.”

Matt looked sheepish for a second. “Thanks for being a part of the team that got her out of there. I appreciate it very much.”

“You’re welcome.” They both knew Remy would have done the same for anybody—they all would—but a thank-you was never misplaced for a job well done.

“I’m pretty sure Ben didn’t plan to hurt her either,” Matt said, his mouth flattening in disapproval. “But then he did. So yeah, it worries me.”

Remy had a sudden urge to punch something. Whether he intended to or not, Matt was suggesting that Remy was like Christina’s ex-husband. That rankled.

“Dude, I have sisters. I get it.” Remy swallowed. “My twin was killed by her boyfriend. I know how it feels to be so fucking helpless it makes you sick, and I know how it feels to wish you could protect her from all harm.”

Matt’s expression had softened, his eyes widening. “Jesus. I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

Remy blew out a breath. “I don’t like to talk about it, but I wanted you to know that I understand. I’m seeing your sister. I care about her. A lot. And I think she cares about me. I don’t know where this is going, but I want it to go farther and faster than she does right now. She’s cautious. She’s smart. She’s also broken, and I know every bit of that. I’m careful of her heart because I know it’s fragile.”

Matt’s gaze grew sharp. “Do you love her?”

There was a sharp stab somewhere in the vicinity of Remy’s heart. Love? How could he love her when he barely knew her?

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “This is still new to us both.”

Matt didn’t look happy about that. “She deserves the best.”

“She does.”

“Then I’d appreciate it if you’d figure out real fast whether or not that’s going to be you.”

Remy wanted to bristle at Matt’s tone—but how could he? Remy cared about Christina. But Matt loved her.

“Copy that, brother.”

Matt held out his hand. Remy took it. “I’m sorry about your sister. That fucking blows hard, and I know the words aren’t enough, but I mean them. I really like you, Remy.” He squeezed Remy’s hand just a little harder then. “But you hurt Chrissy, and I’m going to be all over your ass like a bad rash.”

Remy squeezed back. “Understood, Captain.”

* * *

C
hristina put
down the phone and frowned. Then she dropped her head into her hands and took deep breaths to quiet her frustration. She’d been home for two weeks now. She’d spent the past seven nights with Remy, tangled up in his arms and lost in a world of intense pleasure.

They’d had no more uncomfortable conversations about relationships or where this was going. It just went. Every day when he called her, she answered her phone, her heart pounding giddily.

They made plans. Those plans usually involved some sort of takeout, her bed, and him. After work, he’d come to her house bearing food. She said she was willing to go to his, but he’d said hers was nicer. Plus he had a roommate. He shared an apartment with Cash McQuaid near the military base.

She liked Cash well enough, but she wasn’t going to go over there and stay the night with the other SEAL around. Since they all worked with Matt, it felt wrong to be so blatant about her relationship with Remy.

She smiled to herself. Relationship. There, she’d said it.

They were having one. The thought made her panic just a little bit, but she told herself there was nothing she could do. It was too late. She was in it now.

Which was where the frustration came from. She’d been back for two weeks, and she needed to fly to Houston. Then she needed to get back on the road. There was a company in Brazil she’d targeted for Girard Oil’s needs, and she had to go down there and start the negotiations.

Then there was Russia and the interesting maze of Moscow politics to navigate.

Once, she would have loved the challenge and the adventure. Now she just wanted to stay in DC and have a normal everyday life like everyone else.

But since she couldn’t put it off any longer, she’d buzzed her secretary and told her to make the arrangements for Houston and Brazil. The negotiations with Sheikh Fahd were finished, and she was still riding high from that triumph. It was time to forge ahead with her plans and acquire more business for the company.

She would tell Remy tonight, though she dreaded it. How would he react? He knew what she did, and she could no longer put it off just to enjoy long nights with him. She had a job to do the same as he did. And when Uncle Sam came calling, Remy wasn’t going to be able to put it off at all. So why should she?

She got through the rest of the afternoon, and then she went out to her car and got inside. The days were getting longer, but it was still growing dark around six at night and so it was dusk when she went outside. The parking lot was lit and guarded, so she wasn’t worried about anyone bothering her.

The trip home took around twenty minutes. She parked in the driveway and gathered her purse and briefcase before getting out of the car. Her phone dinged and she dug for it, smiling when she saw the text from Remy.

P
izza and you tonight
. Be naked when I get there. 7 pm.

S
he texted
a quick reply as she walked around the car and headed for the door. But she collided with something solid, gasping in surprise as two firm hands reached out to steady her.

Her stomach bottomed out as her eyes met those of the man holding her.

“Ben. What are you doing here?”

He was dressed impeccably in what she knew was a custom-made suit. Anger flashed through her then. He’d bought that suit with
her
money, just like he’d bought the Mercedes with her money. Ben had never had a pot to piss in. He’d seen her as a one-way ticket to fortune and fame as a politician. He was a brilliant lawyer, but he wanted more than a legal career.

His grip on her tightened. “I came to talk to you, Christina.”

She wrested free of him and took a step back. “I’ve told you there’s nothing left to say. We’re through, Ben. You need to understand that.”

“I don’t agree with you.”

Another wave of anger rolled through her. Dammit, she was so sick of this man trying to steamroll her. That’s all he’d ever done in their marriage. Told her what his opinion was and expected her to go along with it.

And she had, idiot that she’d been. Just so she’d feel like she belonged. So she wouldn’t
lose
him, because a wife was supposed to keep her husband happy. Gah.

“I don’t care if you agree or not. It’s over, and I never want to see you again. Now get away from me or I’m calling the cops.”

She held her phone up as a threat. But what he did next took her by surprise. He knocked the phone from her fingers and it tumbled into the grass. Then he grabbed her by the hair and jerked her forward.

She started to scream, but the cold barrel of a gun dug into her ribs and shocked her to silence.

“We’re talking, you superior little bitch. Like it or not.”