Hard To Love (16 page)

Mason walked around hastily, searching for Lauren.
“Where is
Lauren?” he asked Cassie, walking towards her. Then he turned to
Nick, who shrugged. “I don’t see her anywhere.”

“She stormed out ten minutes ago
,” Nick replied. “Because you
don’t know how to keep your mouth shut.”
“You should never have lied in the first place, Nick,” Mason
shouted back, getting the attention of everyone in the room.
“Right, because what you did was any better.” Nick’s voice rose
slightly.
“Is that what this about?” He got in Nick’s face.
“Mason, her car is gone,” Cassie said, running towards them.
Mason spun around, his face grave.
“She’s had way too much to drink,” he said gravely. Panic filled
his eyes. He started running to the front door. “Where is your car?”
he asked, spinning around to face Cassie and Nick. “Come on,” he
groaned. “Mine is at the shop. Someone tell me their car is out
front.” His eyes started to water.
“Mine’s there, but it’s probably blocked in,” Nick replied. As
they walked down the driveway, they heard a screech in the
distance. All of their heads turned slowly in the direction just as a
horrible crashing sound followed.
“No!” Mason gasped, and then started running.
“Mason!” Cassie started to cry, chasing after him.
Nick grabbed his phone out of his pocket, dialing 911.
By the time Mason had gotten to the bridge, it was too late.
He could see the tail lights of the car disappearing in the water
below. His eyes welled with tears and his heart pounded against his
ribs.
“Lauren!” he screamed, leaning over the broken wall. He spun
around, hands on his head, panic stricken. “No!” Tears streamed
down his face. Then he ripped his jacket off and threw it. “She’s
down there.”
“Mason, don’t.” Cassie grabbed his arm. “It’s too cold. If you
go in there you will freeze to death!”
“Lauren will die if I don’t!” He cried.
“You could die trying to save her.” Cassie cried grabbing his
arm dragging him away from the edge.
“We are wasting time talking about it. She only has so much
time!” He tried to break free.
“Mason please,” she begged, “Don’t, you will die.”
“Then so be it.”
Cassie’s mouth gaped, her eyes tearing up. “Mason, Lauren
wouldn’t want you to risk your life.”
“Mason, think about it.” Nick tried to reason with him, but as
soon as he saw Nick, rage filled his eyes. “Don’t be stupid—”
“This is your fault!” he screamed, shoving Nick. Cassie spun
around as she heard sirens in the distance.
“Guys!” she shouted to get their attention. Then she walked out
to the middle of the road to flag the ambulance down. In the
background Mason shoved Nick again before Mason backed away
and walked over to the bridge. He got ready to jump in, when the
rescue team came to a screeching stop, shouting at him to get away
from the ledge. Quickly they set everything up, but so much time
had passed already, Mason began shouting.
“Every minute that passes gives her less of a chance to survive,”
Mason said, getting in the way of the rescue efforts.
“Sir, if you don’t stand back, I will have an officer put you in
the cruiser,” he said, placing his hand on Mason’s chest, gently
pushing him back. “I know that you are worried, but you need to
let us do our job.”
Cassie stood behind the police caution tape, a blanket draped
over her shoulders. Nick stood next to her, his hand cupped over
his mouth as he sobbed. Mason paced back and forth, running his
hand through his hair. Tears drenched his cheeks.
They watched in horror as Lauren’s lifeless body was pulled up
from the wreckage. Mason ran to her, but the officers held him
back.
“No!” he said repeatedly. “She can’t die. You have to save her.”
He dropped to his knees. “She can’t be dead. I—I could’ve . . .
saved her,” he cried.
Everyone watched as one paramedic did CPR and the other
wheeled her to the ambulance. Someone coughed and Mason’s
head shot up. He stared at the back of the ambulance.
“Was that her?” he asked, looking up at Cassie, hopeful.
“I—I d—don’t know.” Her eyes focused on the truck as it
pulled away. The firefighters pulled the car up from the water next,
the windshield completely smashed in, water spilling out as the car
hung there.
“Let’s get to the hospital,” Cassie said, pulling Mason to his
feet.

Slowly my eyes opened, blurred from the drugs in my system. I
lay there attached to several machines, monitors beeping as my
vitals remained steady. The room was dark. I felt alone. Then I
saw Mason next to me. Sadness overwhelmed him. I tried to talk to
him, but he never heard me. Then I realized that I was standing
next to him, outside of my body. I jumped back, shocked, hitting
the wall behind me. Then the door opened, and Cassie walked in
with Nick.

“What did the doctor say?” s
he asked, sniffing back the tears,
her hand resting on Mason’s shoulder. When I looked down at
Mason again, I noticed he was clutching my hand. My eyes
roamed the room and found Nick in the corner, arms crossed, tears
hovering in his eyes.

“Hey
, pumpkin,” I heard and spun around.
“Daddy?” I gasped and ran to him. “What’s going on?” I asked,
confused. Just then my mother stormed through the doors. I
watched in horror as she grabbed Mason, screaming at him, pulling
him away from me, tears bursting from her eyes. I cupped my
hands over my mouth, my eyes filling with tears as I watched the
pain fill all their faces. I fought against the hurt building inside.
I turned to my Dad. “Why are you here?” I asked, wary.
“You’ve given up, pumpkin.” He sighed, wrapping his arm
around my shoulder.
“No—I haven’t.” I looked over at my body.
“Yeah, you have.” He looked over at the door that had
appeared. It opened, and then a burst of light filled the space. Then
Matt walked through and stood on the other side next to me. “All
this pain you are feeling has overwhelmed you. Your body is
strong, but your heart is broken,” he said, kissing my hair.
“W—what do I do?” I asked, burying my face in his shoulder.
“That is up to you, darling,” Matt replied, taking my hand in
his.
“How’s it up to me?” I asked. “I thought that if it was your
time, then it was your time.” I sobbed.
Matt’s lip curled up at one side. “You’re young and strong. If
you can overcome the pain your heart feels, then you can
overcome anything,” he said, standing in front of me.
“But I was under that water for a long time.” I looked over at
my body, pale and lips still faintly blue.
“Yeah you were,” my father said, walking towards the bed.
“But they saved you in time.” His eyes grew saddened.
“I could have brain damage,” I replied. “What kind of life
would that be?” I cried.
“There is only one way to know for sure.” he said, gesturing for
me to return to my body. “No one said life was easy, pumpkin.
You just have to take it one day at a time.”
“I feel like everything I do lately is wrong,” I sighed.
“Sometimes you have to fall in order to fly,” he said. “You want
to know what the hardest part about leaving you was?” he asked,
and I nodded. “Knowing I would never see you become the woman
you are today.”
“Oh, Daddy,” I whispered, and then started to cry. He wrapped
his arm around my shoulder and squeezed. “I miss you so much.”
“But knowing Mom was there for you made it easier. Now it’s
your turn to decide your fate. You have a good man there who
loves you, and you are a beautiful, talented young woman with
your whole life ahead of you.”
“How do you know that?” I looked over at Mason, then at
Nick. “They both say they love me. Who are you talking about?”
“Only you can find that out for yourself,” my father replied.
“No hints on the best choice?” I screwed my lips to the side.
“Unfortunately, that’s a decision only you can make,” my father
replied with a chuckle.
“It’s so hard,” I said, crossing my arms. “They both hurt me,” I
added.
“Follow your heart,” he said and wrapped his arm around me.
“That’s what I have been trying to tell you all along,” Matt said,
smirking.
“What—when?” My eyes narrowed at him.
“Every time that I saw you, I told you to move on,” Matt said,
his brow arched. I scanned back to all the times that Matt had
appeared since his death, most times when I was with Mason.
Then I replied, “Whenever I was with Mason.”
“Well—those were the times you seemed to need me most,” he
said and nodded. “Choose wisely.” His fingers caressed my cheek.
I nodded, still unsure. “Will I see you again?”
“When it is your time,” they both said, each taking one of my
hands. I nodded, and then turned, to face them.
“I love you both.” I hugged my dad first, and then turned to hug
Matt. “I miss you so much,” I said, kissing his cheek.
“I love you too,” they said in unison. I blew them a kiss, slowly
turned, walking over to the bed. I stood and stared at myself, and
the longer I stared, the more I realized that my father and Matt
were right. I was not ready to leave this life.
My eyes fell on Mason, his red eyes searching my face for a
sign that I was going to be all right; then Nick, broken and filled
with shame. Cassie had not stopped sobbing since I was revived. It
broke my heart to see the ones I loved in this much pain. My
Mother’s pain affected me the most. She had lost my dad not too
long ago and now me. I couldn’t do that to her. I lay down over my
body and waited, but nothing happened. Then in a flash it felt like I
was being sucked back through a vortex. The monitors came to
life, frenetically beeping, and then my body started convulsing.
Mason jumped to his feet, screaming for help. A group of nurses
ran into the room, asking everyone to get out. My eyes opened,
and I could see my dad in the corner of the room, watching. I tried
to call out to him, but I couldn’t move. Then everything went
black, and I felt my body fill with electricity.
I woke gasping for air. My arms started flailing around, and the
nurses had to hold me down. I tried to scream, but something was
blocking my airway. Then there was a pinch on my arm, and
everything went hazy.

When I woke up, my eyes
hadn’t adjusted yet. Through blurred
vision I saw someone sitting near me, but I was unable to make out
who it was. My voice was hoarse, and nothing came out when I
tried to speak. Then I reached over and grabbed the hand.

“Lauren?”
he gasped. I heard feet rush over and stop by the
bed. “Thank God,” he sobbed. “You’re okay.” He kissed my hand,
then my head. The palm of his hand brushed away the hair that
stuck to the side of my face.

“I’ll get the nurse
,” Cassie said and walked out. Someone else
was standing in the room.
“Hey, sweetheart,” my mother said and took my hand in hers. I
squeezed it to let her know I heard her. The nurse came in and
asked everyone to step away from the bed as she looked me over.
She took my blood pressure, and then took my temperature.
“I’ll let the doctor know that she’s awake,” she said and walked
out of the room.
“Why can’t I see?” I asked. My voice strained.
“You’ve been through a lot,” my mom said, taking my hand
again. I tried to say something else, but it just came out as a
squeak. “Rest your voice, sweetie. We have plenty of time to talk
when you’re better.” She rubbed my forehead with the palm of her
hand. My eyes felt heavy and I dozed off again.

When I woke again, I heard the doctor.
“Nice to have you back,” he said, checking my pulse.
“How long have I been out?” I tried to speak.
“Two days in and out.” He winked.
“My throat is so sore.” I winced.
“You should be able to drink some water now,” he said.
“I’ll go get her some,” Cassie replied, then left.
“Who’s here?” I asked, my voice coming out in spurts.
“Cassie is here. Mason and Nick were here,” my mother replied.
“Are they coming back?” I asked.
“I’m sure they will, honey,” she said and kissed my hand.
“Were you yelling at Mason earlier?” I asked, blinking my eyes

clear.
“I was angry at him for hurting you.” She sat down on the bed
next to me.
“This wasn’t his fault,” I said.
“I—I—”
I interjected, “He told me that he loved me.” I cupped her hand.
“I know he hurt me. But I can’t blame him for running form his
feelings,” I said.
“What about Nick? I thought things were good with him?” she
asked.
“They were perfect,” I said, and it hurt to cry. I gasped as the
pain filled my chest. “He hurt me the most.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to upset you,” she said,
then let out a sigh.
“Before the car crash, I had just found out Nick was engaged,” I
said, holding back the tears. “If that had not happened, then I
wouldn’t even doubt how I feel about Nick but—” I blinked the
tears from my eyes as I looked over at the door to see Mason and
Nick were standing there. Mason stared my way with sad eyes and
Nick looked down at the ground when my eyes met his.
“Can you give us a minute?” I asked my mom. She nodded,
and then walked out. Nick and Mason slowly walked towards the
bed. I shifted so that I could sit up. They waited anxiously. I
beckoned Nick over and he walked closer. Mason stood at the foot
of the bed.
“You hurt me,” I began. Nick’s lips trembled, and he looked
away from me. “I never expected that from you.”
“I’m sorry.” He began to sob. His shame was evident.
“But I wanted to tell you that even though it is over between us,
I don’t hate you. I’m angry and disappointed, but I can’t hate you.”
My lips quivered. Tears trickled from my eyes. Mason turned to
leave. “Don’t go anywhere, Mason.” I said, and he stopped in his
tracks but didn’t turn to face me. Nick stood there speechless,
staring at me. “I know you love me. That’s why it hurts so much to
do this. I never wanted it to end like this.” Nick’s eyes brimmed
with fresh tears. His chin trembled as he took a long, shuddering
breath, his eyes blinking rapidly to see past the rim of warm
wetness threatening to overspill his eyes. Mason inched away.
His lips pressed against my hand. “I love you, Lauren. I’m
sorry. I should have told you.”
“You know me better than that, Nick,” I said and reached up,
caressing his cheek. “I wouldn’t have asked you to choose.” His
body crumbled forward, and he held me against his chest, the force
of his trembling body causing so much anguish.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he cried into my shoulder. My hand
covered my face as I sobbed uncontrollably.
“I’m sorry.” I pulled away, wiping the tears from my face.
“You should go.” My body began to shake feverishly.
As he stepped away, he looked down at me hurtfully, forcing
me to turn away. I didn’t turn back until I heard the door click shut.
Mason remained in the center of the room, watching me. I knew he
was waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t have any words
for him at the moment. He had hurt me too. When I was ready, I
would have a few choice words for him as well.
Then my mother returned with the doctor.
He said I was good to go home.
“If you feel strange or light-headed in any way, come back and
see me,” he said. I nodded. Then he signed his name at the bottom
of the discharge paper. “You should rest up for a few days. You
have a few bruised ribs, so keep your activity to a minimum for at
least a few weeks,” he said and walked out. My mother started to
pack up my things, then handed me a bag of clean clothes to
change into.