Every Last Breath (15 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY

Most of the time she worried about Jack finding her in the house which is why she invested in Vala, but that was no longer the case. He could be watching her, learning her schedule. He could break in when she was not home, he could go to the school, he may even know where she worked.

Maggie’s thoughts wandered back to their last month before Jack’s arrest.  It was a bitter cold day, not normal for New York. She had walked to the back of the yard to see if there was any firewood for the house. They hadn’t used the fireplace in over a year but she thought it would be nice to warm up the home with a crackling fire.

Jack must have come home while she was out back. She turned around and saw him staring at her from the walkway by the back door. He didn’t make his presence known.

Maggie dropped the wood and clutched her chest. “Jack, you scared me.”

He never apologized, he only stared. She scooped up the wood, knowing he would not help her. His eyes were cold and dark, his skin looked extra pale.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

She smiled, noting the flat tone in his voice. “Eli’s coming home soon. I am warming up the house.”

She moved toward the door but Jack blocked her entry. He yanked the wood from her arms. The blocks fell to the ground, two banging up against her leg. “No you’re not.”

“Jack, come on, let me go inside, it’s freezing.”

His head tilted like a dog deciphering what he heard. “You’ll burn him. And I won’t let you.” 

“What are you talking about? You’re the one who holds him by the fire,” she argued as she reached for the wood.

He smacked her arm down, with one hand.

“Jack that hurt.”

“You’re not going anywhere near my son.”

Maggie’s fear heightened. What was happening?

His head tilted again as he stared at her. “You’re expecting someone aren’t you?”

His fingers were now an inch from her face. “Admit it, you’ve been sneaking around on me.”

Her head shook, “No Jack. Never.”

He gripped her chin and moved her head side to side. Tears welled up in her eyes. “No. Not my Maggie.” He touched her hair. “You’d never do that to me. Because if you did,” he now caressed her cheek, “Eli would lose his mother. And you wouldn’t want that.”

Suddenly the suspicion was gone and he backed up. Maggie however, had tightened every muscle in her body. Only when he entered the home, was she able to breathe.  Maggie took the keys out of her pocket and ran to the car. She broke down sobbing as she left the driveway. That was almost four years ago.

The following morning was when she made the call to an abuse hotline. She had seen a flier at the library when she took Eli there for a toddlers meet-up. The face on the brochure mirrored the way she felt though she’d never say it.

The threshold for tension had risen higher and higher to the point of drowning. She was constantly watching the clock waiting for Jack to come home, only to second guess his every move. She tried to stay one step ahead of his mood. Each hour of anxiety mounted up until she was about to explode.

Many nights, she retreated to Eli’s room, as to not wake the beast. Jack was flipping in and out of conscious states as he slept and she knew better than to wake him. There were consequences for sleeping in Eli’s room, but she knew what those were. Waking Jack up was the lesser of two evils.

She hadn’t thought about that fate filled phone call since the morning she first called for help. She dialed the wrong number the first two tries. Her hands shook uncontrollably. She logged the number in her cell as Library, so Jack wouldn’t suspect. She stood on the front stoop as the phone rang, until she got up the nerve to speak.

The phone wobbled as she shook in fear. When the woman answered Maggie’s tongue felt like tar.

“This is Safe Haven, are you in a safe place to talk?”
“Yes, I am,” Maggie mumbled, reality suddenly hit home.

“How can I help you?”

“Hi Um, I’m calling to ask a question. I don’t know for sure, but I think I may be in a Domestic Violence situation.”
       The woman was very calm, “What makes you think that you are?”

Maggie paused. “Well, I am very afraid of my husband.”

The woman spoke clear and calmly. “Has he threatened you directly?”

“Um, yes but not today,” Maggie was quickly losing her nerve. 

“Are you afraid that he might hurt you or your children?”
      “Well, I’m not sure. Something is definitely wrong with him. I don’t think he would hurt us. He is very angry though.”

“Ma’am would you like to come into the shelter?”

Maggie shook her head as if the woman could see her. “No. No, that’s not necessary.”

“Do you have a place you can go, to get away from him?”

Again she shook her head, “Yes I do.”

Her mother lived only two hours away but Maggie could make the drive. She questioned her own sanity. Do I really need to do that? Jack is angry but he wouldn’t hurt Eli.

“Ma’am you called us.”       

Maggie panicked and hung up. She looked at the phone as if it were her enemy. What had she just done? A barrage of emotion choked her every move. Her feet felt like lead and her voice seemed vacant. Why was she afraid to go home? What was wrong?

She saved the number but she deleted it from her call log; then she wiped her eyes and walked home, terrified that she might actually leave Jack.

Much of the night went by like a blur. Ben poured her a drink to help her settle down. He also put Eli to bed and let Maggie run her bath. The heat drew the blood from her head, making her thoughts slow down. She didn’t want to sleep alone that night, and preferred that Eli be moved to her room. But for now, she needed another glass of wine.

The altitude affected her drinking. It normally took a bottle of wine to take the edge off, now Maggie could accomplish that with two glasses. She sat up in the tub and looked around. She must have nodded off for a bit in the tub, but that was usual. When the water cooled or a sound alerted her, she would wake up, slightly startled and then drain the tub.

The wine made her do strange things— but that could be a good thing. She needed a break in her routine; the same routine she put in place to maintain order and control.

The lights were dim as she entered the kitchen. The firelight illuminated the living room where Ben reclined on the couch. She opened the fridge, not sure if she wanted to go to sleep or enjoy his company.

“When did he fall asleep?”

“Over half an hour ago,” Ben whispered.
       Maggie curled up beside him. “I must have fallen asleep.”

Ben put his arm around her and she eased her head upon his shoulder.

The roar from the fire billowed off the glass. Together they watched the

flames dance against the window. What would tomorrow bring? Maggie didn’t want to think about it. She was emotionally exhausted and needed to recharge.

She breathed in a whiff of Ben’s cologne. The piney scent aroused her senses, pushing away her fears. His hands were warm as they pressed again her shoulder. She could hear his strong heart pulse one beat at a time. She again, breathed deep, waiting for the stress to melt away.

Ben’s hands moved up her shoulders to her hair. He caressed the tops of her head. She nestled closer until every care for her future drifted away.

Switching vehicles seemed like a good idea. Ben had parked in her garage and Maggie loaded up Eli in his truck, hoping to venture out as she was urged. The storm had passed and Detective Brant called that morning to tell her that the man on security camera outside Eli’s school was not Jack. It was the older brother of one of the students, who just returned from Iraq, he wanted to surprise his little sisters, who were in fourth grade.

That piece of news brought down her anxiety, that and the wine that was working its way out of her system.

Ben reminded her to have a normal day and bring Eli with her wherever she went. The house was under surveillance and she had to pretend everything was back to normal. When he left for work that morning, he kissed Maggie on the forehead. He spent the night in her room, with Eli sprawled out between them.

She woke up in the middle of the night and slipped out of bed. Even in an induced state, her night panic attacks were still in full swing. She rarely slept through them. Maggie curled up beside Vala and rubbed her head until the fire embers burned out. That’s when the house grew silent. Every few minutes she’d look out the back window, wondering if Jack were out there. If he was, it was just a matter of time before he’d get inside. And then what? Would Vala respond the way she was trained? Maybe Maggie put too much faith in her and should have taken self-defense?

She buckled Eli in his booster seat and turned up the heat.

“Where are we going momma?”

“We are going to see Mommy’s boss.”

“Cwaus?” He asked in a silly accent.

She smirked. “Yes, honey. Do you want to see the dogs?”

Maggie realized that if Jack were tailing her, this was the last place he’d want to go. Then maybe he’d leave her alone.

Adjusting her rear view mirror, she backed up.

It felt good to get out on the road and have her boy beside her.

“Whatch ya got there buddy?”

Eli played with a toy in the backseat. “It came in my lunch box yesterday. Isn’t he cool?”

The toy resembled the latest monster movie craze. She never understood what the point of cross marketing was. Everyone had a TV these days. Perhaps giving kids an educational toy or something they could use, would be more beneficial. Either way, Eli was fascinated with it and it kept him quiet.

On the way there, Maggie pulled through town. The windshield was fogging up, something Ben would need to fix. At the light she used a rag and wiped down the interior.  She wiped off the condensation as the cross walk turned green. The shadow of a pedestrian caught her attention as he walked by. Eli zoomed his toy through the air as the tick of her blinker made time stand still.

She watched as the man lumbered across the street, head down as to not be noticed. He was a dark figure wearing a hooded jacket and black cargo pants. It was the same man she saw outside the coffee shop two weeks ago.

“Green” Eli yelled as the light turned.

Maggie stalled at the light, oblivious as to where she was going.

“Go momma,” Eli urged.

Maggie tore through the light heading toward the compound. Was that him? She couldn’t follow the man as he walked away from town, which was crazy. No one walked down the mountain, there was nothing for eight miles.

She did her breathing exercises and calmed down. This was not the first time she thought she spotted Jack. Just before Christmas last year a wave of fear and panic and swept over her as she rounded the aisle at the Franklin Country Store. She looked around but saw no one. Still she recognized the feeling; it was her long lost friend, who once guarded her. She brushed her hair back and pushed the cart along.

The row of ornaments had boxes of bulbs, red bows, candy canes, and garland everything a country store would have, as it masqueraded as a holiday super center.

“None of this is appealing,” she mumbled as she tossed a box back onto the shelf.

Then a pale man with rough skin walked up to the counter. He cupped his hands over his mouth, and blew. “Is there a restroom in here?”

Maggie whipped around. She knew that voice. She bent down, her eyes glued to the man as he sailed toward the back of the store. She headed for the door without impulse. With her keys in hand she bolted to her car and locked the door. Peeling out she headed into traffic, she doubted Jack saw her.

Maggie turned into the police station and left her car running. She used her limited data plan to pull up the prison where Jack was serving time. She was so nervous she couldn’t type in his inmate number. Ever since then, she let the attorney handle it.

She was not going to embarrass herself by barging into the police station. She needed to let them do their job. Besides, she had no proof it was Jack. Even if it was, she needed to remember who she as dealing with. He’d be one step ahead of them at all times.

Eli hopped out of the car and ran to the kennels. “Wait for me,” Maggie yelled as panic filled her. While this was the last place she suspected Jack to show up, Maggie was on high alert.