Authors: Rachel Fisher
Tags: #apocalyptic, #young adult, #edens root, #dystopian, #rachel fisher
With a smile, Fi rose and stretched and felt an actual sense of refreshment. Sean was up too, sitting by a log by the fire. He patted the seat next to him and she grinned. This was turning into a running joke with them. She walked over and sat.
“Good morning,” she murmured to him with a yawn.
“Hey sleepyhead,” Sean smiled. “Glad to see you actually slept some. I was starting to worry that the bags under your eyes were going to swallow me up.” She chuckled at his attempt at humor and nodded.
“Yes, the rest did me some good,” she acknowledged and then shrugged. “It’s too hard to sleep when I can’t stop thinking, you know?” She paused and Sean remained silent. She knew that he would wait, would let her get it all out at her own pace. It was why he’d invited her to join him, she knew. He always knew when she wanted to talk, even when she didn’t know it herself. She sighed.
“You know what I was thinking of Sean?”
“What?”
“How different it all is already,” she shook her head. “I mean it’s only been two months and the damage is basically done. I’m letting it depress me.” She grimaced and rubbed her forehead.
“No Fi, don’t beat yourself up,” he agreed. “It’s incredibly depressing.” He waved his hands toward their camp, where everyone they loved in the world sat dirty, tired, and hungry. “All this was preventable,” he murmured. “That’s the worst thing. This didn’t have to happen.”
With a stick, Fi traced symbols in the dirt. Her dark sense of humor led her to scratch out a peace sign first. Somehow her ‘f-you’ side seemed to win all her mental arguments these days.
“I was thinking about it for Kiara really,” she said. “I mean, she’s hardly going to remember a different world. This is going to be her world.” That was what was most depressing, in the end, Fi thought. That children like Kiara and Zoe would only know this horrible world. They wouldn’t get to do the normal things that girls got to do in the old world.
“I used to worry about her prom,” she admitted with a wry smile.
“Prom?” Sean snorted, his eyes widening. “Yeah, that really is a whole world away, huh?” He shook his head at Fi and smirked. “Now you’d shoot anyone before he got too close to her, so that pretty much takes care of her prom date,” he joked.
Fi burst out laughing. Yes, Kiara’s prom date would no doubt be very terrified of her big sister these days. It felt so good to laugh, Fi thought, enjoying the feel of the air in her chest and the pang in her belly that did not come from hunger.
Sean was so good at that, drawing people out of a funk. “We don’t got no prom,” he kept on joking, “But we’ve got Dead Zones, and Ghost Towns…”
“And Others and Sickfood,” Fi interrupted.
“And Truefood and Eden,” Sean added, his voice softening. “Remember Fi, we have a chance and that’s more than those other millions of people got.” His eyes were serious. She nodded. He was right. They had hope. Kiara burst from her tent, a maelstrom of giggles and clacking as her chunky plastic necklace bounced around her neck. She threw herself at Fi for a hug. Fi wrapped her up and raised an eyebrow.
“Why are you up baby? You’re supposed to be resting.”
Kiara smiled. “Why are you up?” She pointed her little finger at Fi, who laughed at her retort.
“I couldn’t rest anymore,” Fi answered honestly.
“Well, me neither,” Kiara replied and twirled around, showing off her necklace. Fi was happy that her little gifts had brought so much joy.
The ladies had decided to keep the beautiful dresses packed away, each one in her pack, until her Birthday. They called them the Birthday Dresses. The all decided to let the little girls wear their jewelry whenever they wanted because it made them both so happy. There had been many “Oooohs” and “Aaaahs” when Fi had opened her pack and pulled the colorful items out joyfully, one at a time. Everyone had been wearing black and camouflage the entire trip, except for Doc Ron and his family. That was what Sean and Fi had gotten for them, for traveling. Despite the fact that they all knew it was silly to care about something so frivolous, everyone had been moved by the simple humanity of the gesture.
The playing cards turned out to be the everyday hit. She hadn’t realized how universal a pack of cards could be, but it became a lifesaver in passing the mostly boring daylight hours. Everyone could play and they all taught each other new games. The Coopers taught everyone Cribbage and Pinochle. John Skillman taught everyone how to play the Omaha Hi-Lo version of Poker. And Rachel was absolutely impossible to beat at Slaps.
Fi sighed now, watching the Family at rest. Just seeing Rachel smile and watching Maggie laugh with the kids…that made the extras that she picked up on the raid worth it. Even though food would always be the first priority, she knew that the Family needed these little ‘extras’. As she watched Maggie teach the kids how to shuffle the deck of cards, she decided that she would try to seek ‘extras’ for them when she could. Her mind started working. Books, she thought, everyone could use books to pass the time. And the kids need books that are educational, something so that they don’t just cease to have school. And what about little games or toys? Next time, Fi thought. The next time I have to raid, I’ll see what else I can get.
Fi rose and pulled her father’s journal, map and compass from her pack and walked out to a sunny clearing to take a seat on the boulders piled there. As she often did, though she had read it a million times before, she let the book fall open first to her father’s notes. The first half of his journal might as well be written in Sanskrit for all that she could understand it. There were at least thirty pages of scribbled equations and scientific notes from his work on Diaspora. The only parts she understood were the diagrams. Well, she mostly understood those, she thought. Maybe. But then his notes switched to the stuff about Eden, including his personal thoughts.
She knew that it was morbid, but she couldn’t stop revisiting his words, his accounting of the terrible things that had happened. It was the only way that she could feel that he was with her, helping her along. Her lips moved silently as she read.
“
Louis tells me that the genetic sequence seen in the fields in Canada is from a manufactured strain. That the food crops were modified and then somehow crossed with the wild grasses. No one knows how it got so big so fast, but it looks like all of the plants with this genetic marker are dying when they have just started to grow.
Without a new round of seeds, the field becomes barren. The food companies don’t even have to breed their suicide plants anymore, now they’ve created the ultimate suicidal plant. It dies before we can even get anything from it. Louis was right about all the tinkering with pesticides and additives and crosses and genetic modifications. He’d said that we’d screwed ourselves. That our insistence on convenience and abundance came at a price. When I thought he was exaggerating, I didn’t realize the price that I had already paid, that my family had paid. And now everyone must pay. It drives me crazy thinking that I’m leaving my girls behind in this nightmare. I have to get them to Eden.”
Fi sighed and closed her eyes to fight back the tears. I’m trying Papa, she thought. She shook her head and turned her focus back to the task at hand. She was examining the compass when the journal and map slid off from her lap. As she reached to rescue them, she dropped the compass and the journal opened, releasing a cloud of papers before it hit the ground. Fi cursed and reached down to pick it up just as she heard a chuckle behind her. She turned to peer over her shoulder as she bent down and she saw Sean’s grinning face.
“Don’t make fun!” she insisted and he gave an innocent shrug. Fi crouched and gathered the papers and resettled atop the boulder. Sean approached and settled on the ground, his back leaning her perch.
Each day Fi pulled out the map to review the progress. She was trying to keep pushing north and east by paralleling roadways but not using them, but it was really hard. To keep the family safe, they had to stay away from human civilization, but that also made tracking progress a huge challenge. It had gotten to the point that she hated taking out the map, but she didn’t feel like there was any other option. They needed to know where they were and they needed to keep going.
She knew that Sean could tell she was stressed about their progress. He kept her company in silence, not pushing her to talk. She murmured to herself for a time as she added the new Xs for the last two towns she thought they’d passed. She flipped the map over and used the notches on her pencil to count the miles and then sighed. No matter how many times she added it up, it always came out the same. They were totally screwed. Sean pushed his head back to meet her gaze through his shaggy dark hair.
“What’s the story boss?” he asked in a languid tone. “Is everything ok?” Fi shook her head.
“No,” her voice was flat, “it’s really not.” She slid off the rock with the map in her hand and arranged herself on the ground beside Sean. “You see this point here,” Fi pointed.
“X marks the spot,” Sean joked with a nod. Fi chuckled, despite her stress.
“Yes, X does mark many spots,” she concurred. “Anyway, this is the approximate halfway point to the entire trip. And this,” she opened the map and flipped it over to the other side. “This is the approximate location of Eden.” Sean nodded, noting the large red X that had been marked along with the assumed coordinates. Fi watched his face as he examined the distances. She knew Sean was very quick with this stuff. He already had to be following her train of thought. Now for the worst part, she thought. She turned the map to the front side again and pointed to another marking.
“And this,” she said with a cautious glance, “is where I estimate we are right now.” Sean gasped and Fi nodded in silence. “I know,” she set the map down and laid her head back against the rock. Not even Sean could come up with humor to make their reality seem better in this case. Neither of them said anything for a while, they just sat together listening to the forest. Fi had never spent this much time in the forest before, so a lot of it was a learning experience. For someone who claimed to enjoy Nature, Fi thought, I really hadn’t spent much quality time in it.
“It’s taking too long isn’t it Fi?” he said, breaking the silence. Her head lolled as she turned to face him.
“Waaaaaaaay too long. At this rate we’ll be lucky to get to the halfway point by the end of summer, let alone Eden.” She turned her head back to stare straight ahead again.
“You thought we could make it to Eden by fall?” Sean asked.
“Yes, Sean,” her voice was forceful. “But that wasn’t a crazy plan when it included only eight people, daytime travel, and open roadways. I estimated that we’d be able to go much faster and be able to go straight north on the roads. We could have gotten close enough that even if we had to find shelter for the winter, we’d have had all winter and spring to look for a hatch.” She sighed. That wasn’t going to happen now.
All her original plans had needed to be changed on the fly, she thought, but what else can she have done? They couldn’t use roads, they had to stay away from towns and people, there were eleven mouths to feed, the little ones needed bathrooms constantly, Maggie was too tired to push hard, they had to travel at night, and Fi had to adjust course to deal with changing terrain.
Together it all added up to a snail’s pace that worried her. If they didn’t get going faster she wasn’t sure that they could outrun the starvation that would come for them as their supplies dwindled. Thank goodness the summer made for decent hunting and gathering, she thought once again.
“Fi?” Sean murmured.
“Yes Sean?”
“You can only do what you can do. You can’t control it all.” His tone was thoughtful. She closed her eyes.
“I know Sean,” she admitted. Opening her eyes, she gave him a sad little smile. “But it doesn’t hurt to try.” Sean laughed. Fi took a deep breath in and blew it out, along with her tension. With a yawn, she stood and offered Sean her hand. He took it and popped up and leaned down to grab the journal, map, and compass for her. He handed them to her ceremoniously.
“Here boss,” he said, “If it’s worth anything, I think you’re doing an awesome job.” He leaned forward to hug her awkwardly and she nodded over his shoulder, the journal and papers clutched between them.
“Thanks. I appreciate your vote of confidence. Now let’s go see who we can get interested in a game of Spades,” she suggested as they turned back toward the camp. It was nice of Sean to come check on her, she thought. He always noticed her burden and tried to help shoulder it, even when she wouldn’t let him. Sean gave her a funny look as they walked and she frowned. What was up?
“Double or nothing this time?” he asked her, his eyebrow cocked.
“Oh you are on!” she said and took off toward camp jogging, taunting Sean on the way back.
----------- Fi -----------
Fi felt relief when she saw the empty farmhouse silhouette rising ahead of them through the sheets of rain. The deepening summer had brought thunderstorms in its wake. Nearly every day the Family had to make camp or even hike in the pouring rain. It was often miserable and sometimes terrifying. There were many afternoons that the Family had huddled together beneath skies torn by lightning with no cover but their own arms. Tonight the Family had trudged along through a brutal afternoon thunderstorm that followed them as night fell. They had rain suits, but after walking in an unabated downpour for hours, they were all soaked and exhausted. It was under these miserable conditions that Fi made a mistake. She urged them toward the darkened farmhouse without scouting it first.
When she clambered up the stairs and into the house she saw no one around, no sign of residents. There was a fine layer of dust on all surfaces. Relieved to be under a dry roof, Fi went to find the pantry first, heading for the kitchen while the others climbed onto the porch. Throwing open the doors of the largest cabinet, Fi gasped.
“There’s great stuff here Mama!” she called to the other room as she rummaged through the cabinets. Her braid hung down her back and the curls around her face were wet and frizzy. She stood on her tiptoes to reach the very back of the top cabinet, her reach causing her rain jacket to rise up a few inches, baring a thin frame. Her pants hung low and were belted to stay up. “Even some organic veggies!”