Deception Ebook EPUB 3-17-2014 (18 page)

Chapter 72

Spring 2010

I
noticed two sticks of butter on our kitchen counter. Next to them were vanilla extract, baking soda, baking powder, brown sugar, two eggs, and all-purpose flour. Savannah, our oldest daughter, was looking in the freezer as I walked into the kitchen.

“Where are chocolate chips?” Savannah asked when she saw me. “I thought we had some. I saw the bag a few days ago.”

“It should be there,” I said. “If not, check the garage.” With five children, the extra freezer in the garage had become a necessity.

After Savannah returned from the garage with a 72-ounce Nestle bag in her hand, I asked: “Are the cookies for us?”

“No. For Julian.”

“Again? You just made him some brownies last week.”

“I know,” she smiled. “He loves my homemade goodies.”

“Savannah,” I said. “I know we’ve talked about this before but I must repeat myself. It isn’t a good idea. You’re giving him the wrong idea.”

“Mom!” She looked at me in exasperation. “I’ve told you many times. He’s my best friend.” They were inseparable at the school. They ate lunch together. They were in one or two classes together. They even walked together in between classes. Every night at dinner time, his name would come up in her conversation: his not-so-good relationship with his dad, his athletic achievements, and how teachers kept on referring to him to Savannah’s “other half,” which she found hilarious.

“But he has a girlfriend,” I reminded her. “Does she know you’ve been making him special treats? I doubt it. I imagine she wouldn’t like that.” His girlfriend was a student at a different high school.

Fast forward several months later…

Savannah came home from school and asked: “Could we please talk?” So, we sat down on her bed.

“Is everything okay?” I was concerned. She seemed agitated.

“Julian and his girlfriend broke up.”

I didn’t say anything, but knew what was coming. We had talked about it numerous times.

“You were right,” Savannah admitted.

“What do you mean?” not wanting to assume.

“You were right about him. He has feelings for me,” Savannah said. “I didn’t mean it. I really didn’t.”

“So, he left his girlfriend for you?” I asked.

“They’ve been having problems for some time. It seems that Julian has been talking about me a lot and it bothers her,” Savannah said. Then, she added: “Now, Julian tells me he loves me.”

“How do you feel about him?” She had denied any feelings toward him in the past.

“I only like him as a friend.”

“Are you sure there’s nothing more?”

“I’m sure,” Savannah nodded.

Julian was crushed when Savannah told him that her feelings were not mutual. Her rejection, unfortunately, put an end to their friendship.

Later that night, I told Peter: “What was Savannah thinking? It was so obvious. I just wish she would have taken my advice.” I shook my head in frustration. “People often tell me how mature Savannah is for her age, but at times, she is so naïve.”

I was almost the same age as Savannah when my relationship with the teacher started. I’d always considered myself a mature girl. And, in many ways I was. But today, I was reminded that, ultimately, I was also a typical teenager – as irrational and naïve as any.

Chapter 73

April 2012

N
o!

Not long ago I had read headline that Jordan Powers, eighteen, had told Christopher James Hooker, forty-one, that she was done with him.

“Yes.” I pumped my fist. Done. I knew it was not an easy thing to do, and I commended her strength to walk away.

Every time teacher–student scandals appeared in the news, they never failed to capture my attention. I couldn’t fully relate to the affairs between teenagers sixteen and under and teachers in their twenties. But this one in particular was close to home. A teacher in his forties was married and had children. The only difference between this story and mine were that Hooker had left his wife for Powers, and they had appeared in public without shame. I had followed this story closely.

I could feel Powers’ pain when she shared during her interview with ABC that she had “lost everything for this guy.” Yet, now, she could start rebuilding her life.

But today, the headline read: “Modesto student moves back in with teacher arrested on sex charge.”

No!

So many questions raced through my mind, as they always did:

How did their affair begin?

What was really happening in her life?

Surely, her parents must have suspected something was going on?

How could he have crossed his boundary as a trusted professional working with children?

I didn’t believe that they had waited until she turned eighteen before their relationship turned physical. After our kiss, it had taken
him
only two weeks. I had resisted David’s attempts to touch me. But with him, I didn’t. I just couldn’t.

It was one of a few scenes I remember vividly. We were alone in the building on campus when it happened. He had offered to take me home after school so that we could talk. He had taken me to a small room adjacent to the classroom, closed the door behind him, and began undressing me. He did not ask if it was okay. I wasn’t even sure what he was doing. I didn’t have time to react. I was scared. I knew we were alone in the building.

I could clearly see Powers as a victim.

There was no question that Hooker (ironically, the name was very fitting) exploited Powers (whose power didn’t grant her enough strength to say “no”). What they had was not love, but his lust and power. Powers had mixed up love for affection and attention. Boundaries were clearly violated. He was an adult and she was a kid.

But, was I a victim? I had never looked at myself that way. It had never crossed my mind. Not even once.

Never mind the teacher’s boundary. Never mind the teacher’s age. Never mind the teacher’s authority. Never mind the teacher’s failure to protect me as a student. Never mind the teacher’s…

Remember: I was the one who had started it.

Never mind that
his
letters the first summer contained inappropriate comments. Never mind that he had called me while vacationing with his family during the February break, a week before I had delivered him the note. Never mind that...

Remember: I was the one who had written the confession note.

I had asked Peter’s colleague, a professional counselor, to read my story to get her perspective. Imagine my initial reaction, disbelief and denial, when she told me candidly that I was sexually exploited.

I didn’t like what she had said.

And what may seem obvious to others was not apparent to me: She also said that what had happened to me almost thirty years ago was
not my fault.

I was not responsible for the affair…I mean, the abuse.

I had thought I was past all the pain. But, once again, my world turned upside down. After several days of sorting through my feelings, I knew what Peter’s colleague said was true. Every little thing I had pondered over the years now made sense. And, I thanked the Lord for this revelation. The very last burden I’d held on to for so long was finally lifted.

Yes. He was an adult.

And I was a kid.

About the Author

T
he daughter of Deaf parents, Deb Myers grew up in Williamsport, Maryland. She currently works as an adjunct professor, teaching American Sign Language, at two area colleges. Deb holds a master’s degree in mental health counseling from Gallaudet University and has worked as a therapist serving Deaf teenagers and adults, in addition to working for a statewide early intervention program for Deaf children and their families. As a pastor’s wife, she has served her Deaf congregation for the past 14 years, teaching, counseling, and leading marriage enrichment weekends. Deb has been married for 24 years and is the mother of five children—two of whom are adopted.

Deb has a passion for helping people discover wholeness and healing in their relationships through the power of forgiveness and redemption.
Deception
is her first book.

You may reach Deb at
[email protected]

Endorsements

Written from the heart, with a passion for truth that sears the pages,
Deception
is a deeply moving tale of one woman’s journey toward a more vital, vibrant faith. Deb’s story reveals how painful the detection of deception over a long period of time can be to those who have a difficult time coping with what they have learned and dealing with the fact that someone close to them has betrayed their trust. Yet, she opens her heart to herself, to God, to life - a masterpiece of Job 22:21-30.

Eddy Laird

Associate Professor of Education

McDaniel College

This is a book about power. The power of secrets, the power of self-doubt, the power of loneliness, the power of the abuse of trust and authority, the power of shame. But it is about more than those things. Deb Myers has written a book that describes the power of forgiveness, both of self and others. She also writes about the power of exposing those dark places in our lives to the light, thereby giving ourselves over to the light. She writes about the power of honesty and moving forward into a better story. She has written a book about the power of the hunger to be transformed, and then what it means to actually experience transformation. Deb’s is a quiet power, but it is power. Her story is the power of a woman who took a long road to wholeness, but exhibits gratitude for both the wholeness and the road that led her to it. Whatever your journey has been, wherever you may find yourself on your own road, I believe you will find Deb’s story to be something that gives you renewed hope and energy to continue the journey.

Jerry Redman

Managing Senior Partner

Second Life of Chattanooga

Chattanooga, Tennessee

In a memoir intrinsically interwoven with glimpses of life as a Deaf child of Deaf parents, Deb Myers gives us a straightforward and honest look into the mind, heart and emotions of herself as a teen who cherished a special relationship with a teacher she trusted – a relationship that turned sexual. This moving narrative takes us through her teen years, her college years and her adult years and the deeply heartbreaking struggles along the way – largely because she thought the relationship was her fault.
Deception
is an emotional and sensitive portrayal of the effects of sexual abuse and the road to healing with the help of her therapist, her husband and her love for Christ. It is a book that gives a voice to abused women and their struggles and a book that helps those who have not been abused gain an understanding of why abused children and people may blame themselves. It is also a book of healing and hope. It is truly a book you will not put down.

Amy Gregurich Lindley

Former board member of Deaf Abused Women’s Network (DAWN)

A powerful true story of betrayal, abuse and the long healing journey back to hope. A simple writing style so raw that I could not put it down. Society faces teacher-student abuse in epidemic proportions today. Deb’s honesty is astounding as she delves into the past. She ultimately finds faith and love that is uplifting. Many thanks to the author for sharing her true story that others may be helped.

Anna L. Peterson, LCSW -C

This amazing read leads you on a journey of survival—from confusion, shame and self-blame to Deb finally reclaiming her life.

Tiffany S. Williams

Executive Director

Abused Deaf Women Advocacy Services (ADWAS)

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deception – Deb Myers

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First edition published 2013

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