Crossing Values (8 page)

“Of course not. Amber, this man did something thoughtless and because of it he hurt your family. It’s normal to be angry with him. He took something very precious from you. You should be mad! But you can’t live there. Anger will destroy you.”

Amber yanked her hand out of Peter’s and got up to stand at the hearth. “So I’m just supposed to forgive and forget and wait for this God of yours to enact His justice? That man destroyed my family! He took everything!”

“Forgiveness is not forgetting what happened,” said Peter. “It’s not even giving him a pardon for taking your sister from you. It’s simply giving up the right to be angry, trusting God that somehow justice will be achieved.” He stood and grabbed Amber by the shoulders, gently turning her around to face him. “Amber, even if you found this man and enacted whatever punishment on him you thought you wanted, you would not receive what you really want. Nothing you do to him will bring your sister back to you or heal your family.”

Amber felt her knees going out underneath her. The tears again came in a flood and she cried out as she collapsed into Peter’s arms. “Cassie!”

: : : : :

The house was definitely quieter without Peter and Sassy. Amber wandered downstairs and found Faye working on cookies. “Want to help me frost the sugar cookies?”

“Sure.” Amber sat down on a stool at the breakfast bar and looked at the variety of icings. “Does it matter which color I use?”

“Nope. Just have fun with it.”

Faye hummed as she removed cookies from a tray and replaced them with cookie dough.

“Do you sometimes have trouble remembering Jamie?”

Faye stopped spooning dough for a moment. “Yes. Sometimes in my dreams I can see her so clearly. But in the daytime, it’s harder. Sometimes family gatherings are tough because I miss her so much, and sometimes I barely remember she’s missing.”

“I’m not sure what Cassie looked like anymore.”

Faye put down the bowl of cookie dough and walked over to face Amber. She reached for her hand. “Tell me what you do remember.”

“Her hair was lighter than mine and always seemed to reflect the sun. And her eyes were more green than brown, and they sparkled.”

“Sounds like jealousy colored your vision when you were younger, and now I bet pain does.”

“What do you mean?”

“You, my dear, are a beautiful young lady. Your hair is so thick and naturally dark. It’s the color of mahogany, something I always wanted instead of this blonde mop God decided for me. Your hair emphasizes your eyes and brings out the darkness of them. It’s a natural beauty that women like me work hard to mimic.”

Amber couldn’t quite believe it. Could Faye be exaggerating? Me? Beautiful? She wasn’t sure how to respond.

The oven timer dinged and Faye went over to remove cookies from the oven.

“Now then, if you want to remember your sister in a more productive way, why don’t you think of some way to honor her?”

Honor her? “I’m not sure how to do that,” said Amber.

“Well, what did she like? What would mean something to you? Maybe think of something you could look at that would remind you of how much you love her. For example, when my Jamie died, Frank and I planted that maple out front. It reminds me of her. And when I’m missing her, I can look at it and remember her bouncing down the stairs in the morning or tearing across the yard after her brothers.”

Faye and Amber worked in silence for a short time. Faye had given her a lot to think about, and although she didn’t have any idea how to honor Cassie, she liked the thought.

She was just finishing up the icing on a cookie when Sassy came bounding through the dog door and pounced on her.

“Sassy!” said Amber.

“Sassy! You get down!” said Faye. “Whatever are you thinking?” She came around the counter to look at Amber. “Are you okay?”

Amber giggled. “Yeah. She just surprised me. What is she doing here?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe she’s just not used to staying out at Peter’s yet. Still thinks of this as home.”

“How long have you had her?” Amber rubbed behind Sassy’s ears.

“Oh, since she was a pup. Frank picked her up for Peter as a Christmas present. Let me see, I guess it was five years ago now. He’d just come home from college and was struggling to find his place here and at the logging office. He and his daddy were buttin’ heads over the new foresting techniques he’d learned over at Oregon State. She was a bit of a peace offering, I think.”

“Mom, did Sass . . .” Peter came in the dining room doors with bright red cheeks and huffing like he’d been running. “Sassy!” Sassy promptly sat at Amber’s feet. “Ugh! Dog!”

Amber laughed. She’d never seen Peter this out of sorts before and it was refreshing.

“This is all your fault, you know,” Peter said, pointing his finger at Amber.

“Mine?”

“Yes. You know why she comes here.”

“I do?” Amber looked from Peter to Faye and back at Peter again.

Peter looked straight at Sassy. “She’s a traitor!” Sassy tilted her head at him.

“Really, Peter. Whatever are you talking about?” said Faye.

“She comes here to be with Amber, Mom!”

“Me?” Amber couldn’t quite believe it. Sassy had definitely won her heart and Amber knew she could trust Sass, but could the dog really prefer her to Peter?

Sassy barked and jumped up once again, plopping her front paws into Amber’s lap.

“Sassy!” all three adults said together.

“What’s going on in here?” Frank entered the kitchen with a book in his hand. “You guys are loud enough to wake the dead!”

“My dog has left me for Amber!”

Frank looked at Sassy half lying in Amber’s lap. “Well, I always did say she could pick the best treat out of the bag ’fore the rest of us knew the bag was there.”

“Dad!”

“But beware, son. Once the women folk gang up on ya, it’s all over!”

“Ugh! You’re no help. Might as well get her another food bowl for here.” Peter muttered something incomprehensible as he stormed out the mudroom door, slamming it behind him.

Amber and Faye looked at each other and started laughing.

Frank stole a cookie and headed back to his chair. “I knew that dog had good brains in her.”

As Faye headed to put more cookies into the oven, Amber rubbed Sassy’s neck. “Well, girl, I guess it’s you and me for a while.”

Chapter 12

“HER OPENING UP ABOUT HER
sister is good progress.” Andy hoisted the drywall into place while Peter screwed it into the wall.

“Yeah. And she’s asking some great questions. When I got home from Portland a couple weeks ago, Dad was telling her about our move out here, the step of faith it was for him not knowing if he could get a logging business up and running. She listened carefully, but she admitted that she wasn’t quite sure what to think. She was balancing Dad’s belief in God’s provision with the possibility of dumb luck and hard work.”

“I can see your mom jumping all over that one.”

Peter chuckled as he put the drill down and opened up the mud bucket. “Yeah. She basically told her that no one could convince her one way or the other. She was just going to have to decide for herself which she thought was the most likely.”

“Free will at its best.”

“Or worst.”

“Pete, do you really think she’ll end up walking away?”

“I don’t know, Andy. Cassie’s dying really caused a lot of turmoil in her family. She’s been running from dealing with it for years.”

“Maybe she was running. I think God has her right where He’s been waiting for her.”

“Maybe. We did have an interesting conversation earlier this week about the resurrection. She wanted to know if any evidence outside the Bible existed to prove Jesus came back to life.”

“Man! She asks some great questions! If she ever wants to try out law, let me know!” Andy smiled broadly.

“How about less chatter and more mud on that seam!” Peter pointed his drywall knife at the wall beside Andy. It’s not that I think she’ll ever leave Mom, he thought. But would she stay for more than Mom?

“Touch-y! What? Don’t want her working all the way in Crossing?”

Time to derail this conversation. “I heard Allie talking to Mom about babies at Thanksgiving.”

Andy froze just as he was about to apply more mud to the wall. He turned to look at Peter, his eyes narrowing a bit. “How about we get this first coat of mud done so I can get home. I told Allie I’d be home before 10:00 p.m.”

“10:00 p.m., huh?” Peter feigned innocence best he could. But a smirk resisted his best effort.

Andy just turned and threw a rag at him. “Get to work!”

: : : : :

“Peter? You here?”

“Hey, Dad! I’m in the kitchen.”

“Your mother sent over some chili for lunch.”

“Great!”

Peter washed his hands and grabbed a spoon. “Want some?”

“No, thanks. Had some with your mom and Amber before I came here. Place is really looking good.” Frank looked over the walnut cabinets and multi-colored Brazilian walnut floor. The large stainless steel refrigerator almost looked out of place in the midst of all the wood.

“Yeah, it’s coming along. The countertop is in and should be installed Monday. That just about finishes off the kitchen.”

“What did you end up going with?”

“The black engineered stone with blue chunks. You were right. I do like the stones in it, as well as the easy maintenance.” Peter grabbed a glass and filled it with water.

“Hmm. Got anyone in mind?”

“To install it?”

“To live here with you. You’ve been working hard most nights, even got Andy and Logan out here with you. Just wondering if there’s a purpose behind it besides you gettin’ out of my house.”

Peter swallowed his bite of chili and looked at his dad. “Not sure, Dad. Hoping, perhaps. Working towards it, maybe. I just . . . I don’t know.”

Frank nodded. “Yeah. Well, you keep workin’ and let God guide the rest. It’ll be fine.” He walked over to the sink and looked out the window. The trees encircling the small backyard looked like a snow-covered paradise in the daylight.

Peter looked at his father for a moment. God, what is going on here? “Dad what’s really going through your mind? You’re almost speaking in riddles and only half making sense.”

“Pete, I know we’ve had our differences over the years. Your mom and I knew one day you’d move out, and six months ago we worried about your lack of work on this house. We didn’t want you to focus so much on takin’ care of us that you lost track of what you wanted.”

Frank turned to face Peter. “The past couple of weeks we’ve been praying a lot. The path of marriage is a great one, full of amazin’ joys and sometimes tremendous heartache. But it only works with a person who wants to dedicate herself to walkin’ with you.”

“I know, Dad. I’m walking carefully, praying constantly.”

“I don’t s’pose we can ask any more. Whatever you decide, know I’m proud of you, son. God’s honored your mother’s prayers that you’d be strong and compassionate and absolutely in love with Jesus.”

“Thanks, Dad. That means a lot.”

“Well, I’d best be gettin’ back. Don’t you be late tonight. Your mother’s cookin’ up a storm for her Christmas party.”

“I’ll be along in a bit.”

Frank walked to the front door and looked around once more. “Yep. Needs a woman’s touch in here.” He was out the door and in his truck before Peter could reply.

He shook his head as he looked around himself. The party started in about four hours, so he thought he would have time to finish hooking up the dishwasher and get the new lights in the extra bedrooms working. He’s right, Daddy. I’m praying You and I have the same girl in mind, but if not, please make it clear before my heart gets lost in her any more than it already has.

: : : : :

Ready to go to the party, Peter walked into the kitchen and put his glass into the dishwasher. “Well, I guess I will try you out tomorrow after breakfast to make sure you work without leaking. I can’t quite start you with nothing more than a bowl and a spoon from lunch and my water glass.”

He looked around, taking in the new light blue paint on the walls. “God, I know You’ve got things in hand, but this dishwasher just looks so empty. And the house is quiet with only me here. I’m used to having people around.” Or at least Sassy, he thought.

Faith, Peter.

“Yes, Lord. I see Your hand moving. I do.”

Hope, Peter.

“My hope grows stronger each week. But is the one I’m hoping for the one You have planned for me? That pesky free will thing keeps coming up.”

Love her.

Peter sighed deeply and looked out the window at the same trees his dad had looked at earlier. They sparkled in the moonlight, rivaling any indoor Christmas tree he’d ever seen.

“I do, Lord. Please draw her.”

Peter walked over to the back door and turned off the lights. He stopped to look again at the back yard when he saw something in the trees. He looked closer and felt sure he saw the face of a man. “What the—?” He opened the door and yelled, “Can I help you?”

The man locked his eyes onto Peter. Peter felt strange, like he was being drawn toward the man. He was almost eager to go to him, not apprehensive. The man stood quietly at the edge of the trees in his coat and blue jeans, seemingly not cold in the dropping temperatures.

“Sir?”

The man dipped his head slightly at Peter then turned to walk away. Peter jumped off the deck and began to run in his direction. “Wait!”

Peter was at the trees in just seconds, but he couldn’t see the man anywhere. He looked at the place where he’d last seen him.

No footprints!

Suddenly, Peter noticed how cold the night was becoming.

Chapter 13

THE WINTER NIGHT AIR FELT
good against Amber’s flushed cheeks. The annual Christmas party had turned a normally spacious house into a gathering place for wall-to-wall people. The Christmas tree was beautiful, and while Christmas decorations of every kind covered the banister, mantel, bookshelves, and doorways, food covered all the available tables and counters: ham, turkey, meatballs, cheeses, breads, fruits, cookies, and cupcakes. Faye had prepared all week for this feast and it looked like the whole town had showed up.