Clan of the Cave Bear (43 page)

Iza didn’t know if Ayla had slept; she was still sitting on her fur when the woman awoke. The girl was silent, lost in a world of her own, hardly conscious of her own thoughts. She just waited. Creb did not return to his hearth for the second night. Iza saw him shuffle into the dark crevice that was the entrance to his inner sanctum. He didn’t come out again until morning. After the men left, Iza brought the girl some tea, but Ayla didn’t respond to the medicine woman’s gentle questions. When she returned, the tea was still beside the girl, cold and untouched. It’s as though she’s already dead, Iza thought. Her breath caught in her throat as the icy claw of sorrow gripped her heart. It was almost more than Iza could bear.

Brun led the men to a place in the lee of a large boulder, sheltered from the brisk wind, and had a fire built before he opened the meeting. The discomfort of sitting in the cold might encourage the men to be hasty, and he wanted to know the full range of their feelings and opinions. When he began, it was in the completely silent symbols used to address spirits, and it told the men this was not a casual gathering, but a formal meeting.

“The girl, Ayla, a member of our clan, used a sling to kill the hyena that attacked Brac. For three years, she has used the weapon. Ayla is female; by Clan tradition, a female who uses a weapon must die. Does anyone have anything they want to say?”

“Droog would speak, Brun.”

“Droog may speak.”

“When the medicine woman found the girl, we were looking for a new cave. The spirits were angry with us and sent an earthquake to destroy our home. Maybe they weren’t so angry, maybe they just wanted a better place,
and maybe they wanted us to find the girl. She is strange, unusual, like a sign from a totem. We have been lucky since we found her. I think she brings luck and I think it comes from her totem.

“It’s only part of her strangeness that she was chosen by the Great Cave Lion. We thought she was peculiar because she liked to go into the water of the sea, but if she had not been so peculiar, Ona would be walking the spirit world now. Ona is only a girl, and not even born to my hearth, but I have grown to love her. I would have missed her; I’m grateful she didn’t drown.

“She is strange to us, but we know little of the Others. She is Clan now, but she was not born Clan. I don’t know why she ever wanted to hunt; it’s wrong for Clan women to hunt, but maybe their women do. It doesn’t matter, it was still wrong, but if she hadn’t taught herself to use a sling, Brac would be dead, too. It’s not pleasant to think of the way he would have died. For a hunter to be killed by a meat eater is one thing, but Brac is a baby.

“His death would have been a loss to the whole clan, Brun, not just to Broud and you. If he had died, we wouldn’t be sitting here trying to decide what to do about the girl who saved his life, we’d be grieving for the boy who will one day be leader. I think the girl should be punished, but how can she be condemned to die? I am finished.”

“Zoug would speak, Brun.”

“Zoug may speak.”

“What Droog says is true; how can you condemn the girl when she saved Brac’s life? She is different, she wasn’t born Clan, and maybe she doesn’t think like a woman should, but except for the matter of the sling, she behaves like a good Clan woman. She had been a model woman, obedient, respectful …”

“That’s not true! She is rebellious, insolent,” Broud interrupted.

“I am speaking now, Broud,” Zoug returned angrily. Brun shot him a disapproving glance and Broud curbed his outburst.

“It’s true,” Zoug continued, “when the girl was younger, she was insolent to you, Broud. But you brought it on yourself, you’re the one who let it bother you. If you act like a child, is it so strange that the girl does not treat you like a man? She has never been anything but dutiful and
obedient to me. Nor has she ever been insolent to any other man.”

Broud glowered at the old hunter but held himself in check.

“Even if it were not true,” Zoug continued, “I have never seen anyone as good with the sling as she is. She says she learned from me. I never knew it, but I will say openly I wish I had so apt a pupil to teach, and I must admit, I could learn from her now. She wanted to hunt for the clan, and when she couldn’t, she tried to find another way to help the clan. She may have been born to the Others, but in her heart she is Clan. She has always put the interests of the clan before herself. She didn’t think of the danger when she went after Ona. She may be able to move on the water, but I saw how tired she was when she brought Ona back. The sea could have taken her, too. She knew it was wrong for her to hunt, kept her secret hidden for three years, but she didn’t hesitate when Brac’s life was in danger.

“She is skilled with that weapon, more skilled than anyone I’ve ever seen. It would be a shame to let that skill go to waste. I say let her be a benefit to the clan, let her hunt …”

“No! No! No!” Broud jumped up in anger. “She is female. Females cannot be allowed to hunt …”

“Broud,” the proud old hunter said. “I am not through. You may ask to speak when I am done.”

“Let Zoug finish, Broud!” the leader cautioned. “If you do not know how to conduct yourself at a formal meeting, you may leave!” Broud sat down again, struggling to control himself.

“The sling is not an important weapon. I only began to develop my skill after I got too old to hunt with a spear. It’s the other weapons that are the real men’s weapons. I say let her hunt, but only with the sling. Let the sling be the weapon of old men and women, or at least this one. I am finished now.”

“Zoug, you know as well as I that it is more difficult to use a sling than a spear, and many times you have provided meat when the hunt was a failure. Don’t belittle yourself for the girl’s sake. With a spear, you only need a strong arm,” Brun said.

“And strong legs and heart, and good lungs, and a great deal of courage,” Zoug replied.

“I wonder how much courage it took to face another lynx
after being attacked by one, alone, with only a sling?” Droog commented. “I wouldn’t object to Zoug’s suggestion, if she hunts only with a sling. The spirits don’t seem to object; she is still bringing us luck. What about our mammoth hunt?”

“I’m not sure that’s a decision we can make,” Brun said. “I don’t see any way we can even allow her to live, much less hunt. You know the traditions, Zoug. It’s never been done before; would the spirits really approve? What made you think of it, anyway? Clan women don’t hunt.”

“Yes, Clan women don’t hunt, but this one has. I probably wouldn’t have thought of it if I didn’t know she could, if I hadn’t already seen her. All I’m saying is let her continue to do what she has already done.”

“What do you say, Mog-ur?” Brun asked.

“What do you expect him to say, she lives at his hearth!” Broud interjected bitterly.

“Broud!” Brun stormed. “Are you accusing Mog-ur of putting his own feelings, his own interests, before those of the clan? Is he not Mog-ur? The Mog-ur? You think he will not say what is right, what is true?”

“No, Brun. Broud has made a good point. My feelings for Ayla are well known; it’s not easy to forget I love her. I think you should all remember that, even though I’ve tried to put emotions aside. I can’t be sure that I have. I have been fasting and meditating since you returned, Brun. Last night I found my way to memories I never knew, perhaps because I never looked.

“Long ago, long before we were Clan, women helped men to hunt.” There was a gasp of disbelief. “It’s true. We will have a ceremony, and I will fake you there. When we were first learning to make tools and weapons, and we were born with a knowing that was like memories, but different, women and men both killed animals for food. Men did not always provide for women then. Like a mother bear, a woman hunted for herself and her children.

“It was later that men began to hunt for a woman and her young, and even later before women with children stayed behind. When men began to care about the young, when they began to provide, it was the beginnings of the Clan and helped it to grow. If a mother of a young child died while she was trying to get food, the baby died, too. But it wasn’t until people stopped fighting each other and learned to cooperate, to hunt together, that the Clan really
began. Even then, some women hunted, when they were the ones who talked to the spirits.

“Brun, you said it’s never been done before. You are wrong; Clan women have hunted before. The spirits approved then, but they were different spirits, ancient spirits, not the spirits of totems. They were powerful spirits, but they have long since gone to rest. I’m not sure if they can rightfully be called Clan spirits. It wasn’t that they were honored or venerated, more that they were feared; but they weren’t evil, just powerful.”

The men were stunned. He spoke of times so ancient and so little recalled, they were almost forgotten, almost new. Yet just his mentioning of them evoked a recollection of the fear, and more than one man shuddered.

“I doubt that women born to the Clan now would ever want to hunt,” Mog-ur continued. “I’m not sure they could. It’s been too long, women have changed since then, so have men. But Ayla is different, the Others are different, more different than we think. I don’t think letting her hunt would make any difference as far as the other women are concerned. Her hunting, her wanting to hunt, surprises them as much as us. I have nothing more to say.”

“Does anyone have anything more to say?” Brun asked. He wasn’t sure, though, that he was ready for more. Too many new ideas had already been proposed for comfort.

“Goov would speak, Brun.”

“Goov may speak.”

“I am only an acolyte, I don’t know as much as Mog-ur, but I think he overlooked something. Maybe it’s because he has tried so hard to put aside his feeling for Ayla. He has concentrated on remembering, not on the girl herself, perhaps out of fear it would be his love speaking and not his mind. He hasn’t thought about her totem.

“Has anyone considered why a powerful male totem would choose a girl?” He answered his own rhetorical question. “Except for Ursus, the Cave Lion is the most powerful totem. The cave lion is more powerful than the mammoth; he hunts mammoth, only the young and old, but he does hunt mammoth sometimes. The cave lion does not hunt mammoth.”

“You’re not making sense, Goov. You say the cave lion hunts mammoth, then you say he doesn’t,” Brun gestured.

“He doesn’t,
she
does. We overlook that when we speak of protective totems; even the male cave lion is the protector.
But who is the hunter? The largest meat eater of all, the strongest hunter is the lioness! The female! Is it not true she brings her kill to her mate? He can kill, but his job is to protect while she hunts.

“It’s curious that a Cave Lion would choose a girl, isn’t it? Has anyone ever thought that perhaps her totem is not the Cave Lion, but the Cave Lioness? The female? The hunter? Couldn’t that explain why the girl
wanted
to hunt? Why she was given a sign? Maybe it was the Lioness who gave her the sign, maybe that’s why she was marked on her left leg. Is it really more exceptional for her to hunt than it is for her to have such a totem? I don’t know if it’s true, but you must admit it’s reasonable. Whether her totem is Cave Lion or Cave Lioness, if she was meant to hunt, can we deny it? Can we deny her powerful totem? And do we dare condemn her for doing what her totem wishes?” Goov concluded. “I am finished.”

Brun’s head was whirling. Ideas were coming at him too fast. He needed time to think, to work it out. Of course it’s the lioness who hunts, but who ever heard of a female totem? The spirits, the essences of protective spirits are all male, aren’t they? Only someone who spends long days dwelling on the ways of the spirits would come to the conclusion that the totem of the girl who had been hunting was the hunter of the species that embodied her totem. But Brun wished Goov hadn’t brought up the idea of denying the wishes of so powerful a totem.

The whole concept of a woman hunting was so unique, so thought-provoking, that several of the men had been jarred into making the small incremental step that pushed the frontiers of their comfortable, secure, well-defined world. Each man spoke from his own viewpoint, from his own area of concern or interest, and each had pushed forward the frontier only in that one small area; but Brun had to embrace them all, and it was almost too much. He felt duty-bound to consider every aspect before he made a judgment, and he wished he had time to mull them over carefully. But a decision could not be held off much longer.

“Does anyone else have any more opinions?”

“Broud would speak, Brun.”

“Broud may speak.”

“All these ideas are interesting, and may give us something to think about on cold winter days, but the traditions of the Clan are clear. Born to the Others or not, the girl is
Clan. Clan females may not hunt. They may not even touch a weapon, or any tool that is used to make a weapon. We all know the punishment. She must die. It makes no difference if long ago women once hunted. Because a she-bear hunts, or a lioness, doesn’t mean a woman may. We are neither bears nor lions. It makes no difference if she has a powerful totem or if she brings luck to the clan. It makes no difference if she is good with a sling or even that she saved the life of the son of my mate. I am grateful for that, of course—everyone has noticed I said so many times on the way back, I’m sure—but it makes no difference. The traditions of the Clan make no allowances. A woman who uses a weapon must die. We cannot change that. It is the way of the Clan.

“This whole meeting is a waste of time. There is no other decision you can make, Brun. I am finished.”

“Broud is right,” Dorv said. “It is not our place to change the traditions of the Clan. One exception leads to another. Soon there would be nothing we can count on. The punishment is death; the girl must die.”

There were a couple of nods of agreement. Brun did not respond immediately. Broud is right, he thought. What other decision can I make? She saved Brac’s life, but she used a weapon to do it. Brun wasn’t any closer to a resolution than he was the day Ayla pulled out her sling and killed the hyena.