Castles in the Sand (41 page)

Drake said, “That’s okay.”

Susan was getting whiplash looking back and forth between them. He said it was okay and that was all he was going to say? She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back.

“I just…”

Susan swung around again to Kenzie.

“I just want to feel safe. I want to be quiet. I want to take time to figure things out. I’ll get a job closer to home. I want to—” Kenzie cut off her words with a mischievous smile. “I want to know where June Cleaver is. Here Dad and I sit, our sandy wet bums on Faith’s flowery couch. I’m sure this is a no-no.”

Susan blinked. “I didn’t even notice.”

“Yahoo, Mom! Way to go!” Kenzie leaned over, her palm raised.

They exchanged a high five, and Susan said, “Get out of here. Take your bath. Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Uh-oh. Shades of June.” She hopped off the couch and strode through the kitchen toward the small bedroom beyond it, the one she liked best.

Susan met Drake’s smile with her own. “Oh, my.”

“My sentiments exactly.”

“You two talked.”

“Yeah. Basically I told her how much I love her.”

“And you invited her home.”

“Unconditionally.” He nodded. “Good news, bad news.”

“What?”

“You know that second honeymoon we thought we’d celebrate here at the beach house this week?” He winked. “Moving back home means with us. Wherever we are. Starting tonight.”

“Oh.”

And then they burst into laughter.

Pepper wanted to crawl into bed and snuggle next to Mick with a book.

But the bed was a narrow hospital one and it sat in their front room and five of their six kids hung around him and he wore that awful plastic thing that made him four times larger than he was and a nurse was arriving soon.

So instead on that Monday afternoon, the day after Easter, she remained seated at the picnic table in her backyard, forcing herself to listen to Kenzie, who sat across from her. After the girl had warmly greeted Mick and spent a few minutes with him and the others, she dumped the news on Pepper: She’d turned Aidan down.

“Pepper, does any of this make sense to you?”

No!
“Yes. No. Yes. No.” She sighed. “I’m in more of a dithery state than usual. Does it show?”

“I understand. I’m sorry for the timing with Mick and all—”

“That can’t be helped. I’m sorry for being unavailable. Just give me a minute, okay?”

She nodded, her countless hair shoots neatly bobbing as one.

She shut her eyes.
Lord, I love this child like she’s one of my own. We’re all hurting so bad here…

“Pepper.” A minute for Kenzie meant something like the blink of an eye.

She looked at the girl, at that familiar smile playing about her lips, at the upturned nose. “What?”

“You could always try blasting out your opinion with both barrels.”

“There really is an imp inside of you, isn’t there?”

She grinned.

“Okay, Kenzie. I love you like you’re one of my own. I love my grandchild, the one you’re carrying. My son loves you. But if you’re not ready for marriage, you’re not ready.” She pressed her lips together.

“But you think I should be.”

“I wish you would be. That’s a different thing.”

“Getting married at a young age worked for you, but I’d make a horrible wife. I have to get my own act together first. Hopefully in time to be a mother so I can get
that
act figured out. Aidan says he understands.” Kenzie had talked with him at his apartment before coming to the house. “You know, he’s the one to blame for all this
reconciliation
nonsense.”

Pepper smiled. The news about Kenzie’s dad welcoming his daughter home floored her…until she remembered that a lot of women had been praying for exactly that to happen.

“If he hadn’t gone to my dad and said those absolutely amazing things, I don’t know what would have happened. Maybe if Mom stuck it out long enough and the Marthas kept boycotting, maybe he would have gotten the message eventually. But it was Aidan who cinched the deal. Dad even said so.”

“Do you love Aidan?”

“He still turns me to mush when he looks at me with those eyes of his or hugs me.” She smiled softly. “And he did that just a while ago. He is such a beautiful person, but I’m so mixed up inside. I can’t drag him into my mess. I don’t know what I feel except afraid he’ll regret us getting married. Or, worse, resent me.” She paused. “And I know I feel safe with my mom and dad. I don’t remember ever feeling that way with them. Of course, we haven’t even been together twenty-four hours yet. Dad and I already went at it again, arguing about some stupid thing this morning. All of a sudden Mom shouted, ‘Hold it!’ Then she pulled us close together and put my finger on Dad’s nose and his on mine.” She tapped her own. “She said when we wanted to fuss at each other, we had to literally push at each other’s buttons. We cracked up. I don’t know what’s going on with those two, but it feels good to me.”

Lord, You are a wonder
.

“We’ve talked about maybe I’ll see a counselor. One who professes faith in Christ, naturally, else Dad wouldn’t pay for it. Would that disturb you and Mick?”

“Good heavens, no. The more help and prayer, the better.” She held in another sigh.

“Pepper.” Kenzie lowered her eyes momentarily and then looked at her. “I love you too. Your grandbaby is going to adore you…please don’t cry.”

She wiped at her eyes. “I’m going to miss you and your mom so much. And the baby—”

“Miss us! We’ll still see each other! As soon as Mick’s ready for company, Mom’s coming to meet him. Dad might even tag along. She said to tell you she’s available for coffee and ice cream anytime. But Dad’s not allowed to tag along for that.”

Pepper smiled.

“And the baby, well, shoot. Who’s the baby expert around this place? I’m counting on you to show me the ropes.”

Oh, Lord, let it be so
. “I’m going to hold you to that, Kenzie. And I expect you and the little one here for family dinners.”

Kenzie faked a sneeze.

“Hey, get used to it. If I can’t be a pushy mother-in-law, I can still be one pungent Grandma out of Wedlock.”

A few months later, August 1

A hospital waiting room, maternity ward

Susan shared the navy blue vinyl couch with Pepper. The past six hours carried a timeless quality. They both dragged and flew by, filled with coffee, tea, soda, breakfast and lunch, conversation, and prayer. Sighted through the single window, predawn clouds gave way to morning sun, morning sun to high noon blaze. Now and then a nurse popped in to give them an update on Kenzie.

“Baby’s making progress, Mommy’s a trooper, Daddy’s a sweetheart.”

Drake and Mick paced the cozy room, sometimes venturing out into the hallway. Twice they had gone to the cafeteria, Mick reluctantly sitting in his wheelchair while Drake pushed. Pepper insisted her husband had used up his allotted on-feet time by 9:00.

Pepper squeezed Susan’s hand. “This is worse than giving birth myself.”

Overcome for the umpteenth time with a wave of emotion, Susan patted her friend’s shoulder without comment.

“I guess we didn’t have to come so early,” Pepper said.

They exchanged a chuckle. When Kenzie awoke at four o’clock with serious contractions, Drake called Aidan and Susan called Pepper. They met up at the hospital. A nurse said there was still plenty of time. Her suggestion the grandparents leave and return later was met by four glares.

Mick settled into his chair now. “Ladies, we’re going to the cafeteria again. Want anything?”

Pepper ordered an ice cream bar.

“Make that two, please,” Susan said.

“With a coffee chaser?” Smiling, Drake grasped the wheelchair’s handles.

“Sure,” they replied in unison.

After the men were out of earshot, Pepper said, “Still amazing.”

“I know. Drake getting us coffee and ice cream.”

“I was thinking along the amazing lines that Mick and I are friends with your husband.”

Susan smiled. “And with me.”

“Ah, you were easy.”

“Not at first.”

Pepper laughed. “And now Drake’s on sabbatical and you two come to our church.”

And that, Susan thought, was only the tip of the amazing iceberg. Holy Cross Fellowship graciously gave Drake a year off at half pay and didn’t expect him to attend services where people might treat him as available. They understood his need for a deep rest. He spent much of his time writing. She wondered if he would have a decade worth of sermons by the time the year was over.

Some days were a struggle, but, like the baby, they were making progress. Redefining their relationship with each other and with Kenzie proved to be a faith-stretching adventure. Nobody’s personality changed overnight. Friends, family, and counselors helped.

“Susan,” Pepper said. “Are you okay with this?”

“With what?”

“Sitting out here. Some parents get invited into the labor room.”

“Yeah, I’m okay with it. Are you?”

“No.”

She laughed. “Well, I find it best to be okay with things I can’t change. I sleep better at night.”

“Yeah, yeah. I deserved that remark. But seriously…”

“Seriously, Kenzie and I are good friends. She’s crazy about you. But this is her and Aidan’s time.”

“I am glad she wanted him with her, at the birthing classes and now. What do you think will happen with them?”

“No clue.”

“Me neither.”

“He’s been a perfect suitor. I swear Drake is taking lessons from him. He asks me out for dates. He brings me little gifts. It’s working on me.”

“Amazing. Simply amazing.”

“Amen.”

A nurse entered the room, a wide grin on her face. “It’s showtime, Grandmas. Back soon!” She hurried away.

Like two little girls, Susan and Pepper grabbed each other with a squeal probably loud enough to be heard all the way down to the cafeteria.

Late March, the following year
The Beach House

Susan wiggled her toes and, like a little girl, peered down to admire their polish. Flecks of sunlight danced off her sequined flip-flops, throwing tiny rainbows willy-nilly through the air.

If she were outlined in a coloring book, only one crayon would be needed to fill in the blank spaces. Pastel pink virtually covered her, from nails to shoes to jewelry to rosebud corsage to linen embroidered dress and jacket. She felt so pretty that if the person wielding the crayon were to stray outside the lines, Susan would not mind in the least.

How could she mind? The past year had been one major, incomprehensible scribble that eventually looped itself into a beautiful picture of grace for the Starr family. Though she, Drake, and Kenzie were God’s works in progress, all was well with their souls.

Kenzie squeezed Susan’s elbow now, and they exchanged a smile. Her daughter glowed, as only a bride could on her wedding day. Now twenty years old and mommy of an eight-month-old baby, she wore a simple cream-colored tea-length dress with capped sleeves. Sprigs of baby’s breath adorned her dark spiky hair, and she held a bouquet of early spring flowers. Her eyes sparkled more brilliantly than the sequins on Susan’s flip-flops.

From the other side of Kenzie, Drake moved his mouth. It landed somewhere between a smile and the expression of a man going down for the third count. Susan couldn’t help but grin at him.

Drake wore his charcoal gray suit and a pale pink silk tie. His nod to unbreakable rules ended there. He was barefoot and he was going to conduct, on the beach, the ceremony to unite his daughter in holy matrimony with the father of her child. Going shoeless like the young couple was his idea. Slipping into minister’s role was Kenzie’s.

In his own words, the year had pummeled his heart. Forget the image of God as the potter molding and shaping with strong but gentle hands, he said. When clay was as brick hard as he was, it took a smashing to smithereens before a new lump could even be picked up for kneading.

He winked at her. Or was it a twitch? The poor guy was nearly a basket case.

She smiled and nodded. “You can do this.” She mouthed the phrase oft repeated earlier that morning.

A gentle breeze fluttered the dress about her ankles. Only Kenzie would choose a March afternoon for an outdoor ceremony on the beach.
March. At the ocean
. Susan had emoted with much anxiety over such a plan until Mildred gently suggested they pray for beautiful weather. The day dawned so brightly that most attendees wore sunglasses. As if that weren’t enough, an unpredicted Santa Ana desert wind softened crisp spring temperatures. Shoe-clad guests might very well feel sand between their toes, but they wouldn’t shiver.

From her perch with Drake and Kenzie atop a concrete staircase that led from the boardwalk up and over the seawall, Susan surveyed the scene before her, well aware of curious bystanders lining up along the boardwalk looking at it as well.

They’d chosen a spot in the sand not far from Faith Fontaine’s house and collected enough beach and lawn chairs to accommodate the small crowd of family and close friends. Everyone was there now, seated and facing the ocean, the large extended family of Carluccis and Pepper’s side, the Martha Mavens, and a handful of others. Band members stood off to one side. They’d left the electronics at home and played classical selections on guitar, violin, and flute.

Julian had come. Kenzie jokingly referred to him as one of Drake’s best friends. Her dad’s other best friend was Zeke, the street preacher who stood down front with Aidan.

Dear Aidan. He hadn’t given up on Kenzie. He courted her, went to counseling with her, and changed diapers. It was an amazing balancing act, an amazing display of his love. He stood tall and handsome now, in black pants and an oversized white linen shirt. Beside him was his father, Mick, serving as best man.

Susan’s books on wedding etiquette didn’t cover half of what she and Kenzie had arranged, and so they colored outside the lines. As Susan watched it unfold now, she liked the effect. Pepper stood next to Mick. They’d insisted she be part of the wedding party. What better role than as grandmother in charge of the youngest, most important guest?