Brutal (24 page)

“Who wrote that?” he asks, breaking the silence.

“Rhianna,” I say, setting the guitar down and turning to him.

“You goin’ somewhere?” He asks me this, and I don’t need to consider my answer.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I say. “Not without you.”

“What’s on your mind, Angel?” he asks, finding a place next to me.

“You know, the usual,” I say with a shrug. “I’m afraid the world will get in our way, and it makes me want to—“

“I know,” he says. “We’ll fight the fucking world together.”

“This Tony thing,” I say. “I need you to know that it’s you and me, and there’s no room for him here.” Taking his hand, I place it on my heart.

“Knowing another man wants my woman ain’t easy,” he says. “But you don’t want him back, so we’ll deal with it.”

“Will you catch shit from that chick at work?”

“I doubt it.” He grins at me. “Until she approached me, I didn’t even know she existed.”

“If she comes back,” I say, “I’ll fuck her up again.”

“I know you will,” he says, grinning. “Do you want me to watch, or step in?”

I laugh. Best boyfriend ever!

“Only step in if she gets the best of me.”

“Then I guess I’m watching,” he says, smiling.

“You’re mine forever, right?”

“Unless you change your mind,” he says, and I almost panic until I really look at him.

“I won’t,” I say. “I’m stubborn. I hate change, but I love your beard.”

“Yeah, well, I love you,” he says, hugging me. “All of you.”

“Even the crazy parts?”

“Especially the crazy parts,” he says, kissing my forehead.

“You love me. Are you sure?”

“Seeing as I’ve never felt like this, can’t stand the fucking thought of not breathing your air, yeah I’m fucking sure.”

“You’re my pumpkin.”

“Care to explain that?”

“You’re my pumpkin,” I explain. “And my tree, too.”

“I tell you I love you, you tell me I’m your pumpkin?”

“And my tree.”

“Angel, do you love me?”

“More than anything. I’ve waited forever for my pumpkin and my tree. I really fucking love you.”

“I really fucking love you, too, Angel.”

And with that, he picks me up and carries me back to bed, and I explain to him the story of the pumpkin and the tree. For the first time in a long time, I sleep without nightmares. I slept with roots for the first time in ten years.

I
’m her pumpkin and her tree. That’s the last thing I remember falling asleep and the first thing I think of when I wake up. I’ve never been anyone’s anything when it counted. I’m her fucking pumpkin and her fucking tree. Jesus, I’m overwhelmed, and for once it’s a good feeling. Scratch that: a fucking great feeling.

I look over and frown.

I get up and look for her, but she isn’t inside, either. I see she left me a cup, but until I know where she is, I ain’t drinking it.

I grab my phone to check the tracker, and I’m confused initially, until I realize she’s out in the hall. Whatever she’s doing, she wants privacy. So I won’t go out there, but I’m still gonna listen.

It doesn’t take me long to piece in the conversation; once I catch up I’m pissed. Fucking Tony. Figures.

“This is serious, baby,” he says.

“I have a name, Tony,” she says. “Start using it, or we stop talking”

“Fine,” he says. “The guy ring any bells for you?”

“No,” she says. “But last night was kind of a blur for me, so I really can’t say”

“Max told me,” he says. “Taking out local law enforcement? I approve.”

“You would,” she says, laughing. “How far did he follow me?”

“Back to the loft,” he says. “When your
guard
got out and took you up, he waited for a few then left. He knows where you live, baby. My source tells me he didn’t look happy.”

“Your source, huh?” she says. “So I have a guard, but you have a source watching the guard?”

“No, I have a source watching you,” he says. “The guard is temporary. You are not.”

“What about the girls?”

“Nothing yet,” he says. “You’ll know when I know,”

“Macy?”

“She has a cop tailing her,” he says. “Same cop you fucked up. I haven’t noticed anyone else yet.”

“I know about the cop,” she says. “The Captain?”

“Believe it or not, he’s actually leaving you alone as promised, from what I see.”

“I don’t trust it. It’s too easy.”

“Maybe. But so far, no surveillance, outside of the cops at the club.”

“Okay. Thanks for the heads up, Tony. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Venessa,” he says. “I’m hearing your name in places I shouldn’t be. Whatever it is, you’re getting close.”

“Are you telling me to back off?”

“No,” he says “I know you. What I am saying is, be careful. I need you in—“

“Bye, Tony.”

Now, I have several choices here.

Kill Tony. Kill whoever is following her first. Or, kill Tony.

Blowing my cover is a real possibility right now. Gallo knows too much, way too fucking much.

She comes back in, not even bothering to look guilty for taking a call in the hallway. Yeah, that pisses me off. Even pissed, I notice she put joggers on to go out in the hall. At least I won’t have to kill any neighbors today.

“You’re up,” she says, coming over to kiss me.

“I’m up,” I say. “Where’d you go?”

“Tony called,” she explains handing me a cup. “Apparently he’s been hearing my name around which doesn’t surprise me, given my recent snits. What does surprise me is that we were followed last night, and didn’t know it, but Tony did.”

“You had to go out in the hall to talk to him?”

“You were sleeping,” she says. “I didn’t want to wake you, and I grabbed my mail.”

“Right,” I say, fucking livid for various reasons. Mainly that she was followed and I didn’t pick up on it, oh, but fucking Tony knew. What I want to know is, how he knew and why the fuck am I even here if he has someone watching her? Hiring me was I’m told, his idea. This prick is playing games and I’m too busy chasing after her to figure out the rules.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, come on,” she says. “Don’t hold back on me, what did I do now?”

“You hid from me,” I growl. “To talk to
him.
”

“I wasn’t hiding.”

“I disagree.”

“Fine, disagree,” she says. “Put your anger aside for a second, and tell me what doesn’t jive here.”

“None of it fucking jives, Venessa!”

“Oh, so it’s Venessa now is it?” she says, voice rising. “You’re pissed that Tony called, I apparently hid from you to take the call, and Tony got the drop on you. How’d I do?”

“This fucker is always interfering,” I say. “And you let him.”

“Are you fucking for real right now?” she yells, and she rarely yells, so I know this won’t end well. “If you could have heard the conversation, which I will point out you could not because you were fucking asleep! The only person I let do anything is you. Fuck you for throwing him in my face,
again
.”

“You didn’t come to me.”

“The fuck I didn’t!” she yells. “I walked in here, saw you, handed you a cup, and just relayed the conversation! You should remember that you and the Cap thought it was a fucktabulous idea to go under to get the info, yeah? I keep giving you the fucking info; you keep throwing it in my fucking face! What do I get? Shit on.”

“I’m not—“

“You are,” she says. “You do, but I get it. You don’t like Tony. The fact is he is a friend of mine. Do I want him? No. Is he in my life? Yes. Is he a player in this fucked up situation? I guaranfuckingtee it. So pay attention. You don’t get to tell me you love me, then do this. You don’t get to be my pumpkin and my tree, and then do this!”

“Angel,” I say. “Wait.” She turns to look at me, and I see resignation in her eyes. Instantly I feel cold and afraid of what happens next because she’s so unpredictable. She’s upset because I’m upset, this reaction was due to my reaction. It’s funny that right until this second I didn’t realize that my moods dictate her moods. I’m too far gone to stop myself from allowing this to blow, because I can feel it. She’s ready to lose her shit.

“Listen Rogan, I work where I work for a reason. Tony has his hands in this, I can feel it, okay? This partner thing isn’t really working out for either of us. Problem is, without me, you don’t have a case. You don’t want a partner. You want to handle everything, and tuck me in a corner. You’re a protector, I understand that. This is personal for me, I know these women. Tony isn’t stealing girls, I know that for a fact. However, to protect me, he has info he isn’t sharing. I’ve been in the trenches for years, and I’m not looking for a way out. Quit trying to save someone who doesn’t want or need saving. Tony and Max may have known all along what it is I do after hours, but they never once tried to stop me. I suggest that you take a play from their book and not try it, either. What I do in my spare time is my decision, not yours. You’re here because you need me for this case. The Captain has no problem using me, and neither did you until we started this,” she says, waving her hands around.

“Fuck that,” I say. “What you do in your spare time affects both of us, Angel. I’m supposed to step back and hope you don’t get hurt or killed? Is that it? You think I’m that guy? If those assholes cared about you so much, they wouldn’t support the shit you pull. You do their dirty work. The fact that you’re fucking standing here is a miracle. So if there’s a chance to save you, I’m not supposed to take it?”

“What part of 'I don’t need saving' don’t you get?”

“What part of 'I can’t lose you' don’t you get?” I ask. “What happens when whoever is pulling the strings comes after you? Am I allowed to save you then?”

“Dammit, Rogan,” she says. “I know they’re coming after me, alright? That’s the point!”

“Wait,” I say, taking it all in. “You fucking knew? You fucking knew and didn’t tell me!” Stalking toward her, I don’t know if I want to hold onto her or shake sense into her, I’m so fucking pissed.

“You weren’t supposed to fucking exist!” she screams. “I wasn’t supposed to have a pumpkin or a tree! I kept to myself for a reason! No one was supposed to miss me!”

“Fuck,” I whisper, feeling destroyed. “You want to die, is that it?”

“No one wants to die, but we do, I accept that. I get to choose how I die, there’s honor in that.”

“There’s no fucking honor in setting yourself up to be murdered!” I yell, getting in her face. “There’s no fucking honor in leaving behind the one that fucking worships you. God dammit, I just fucking found you, and you’d do this to me? Who the fuck are you?” With that, I have to get the hell out of there.

I turn to storm out, and I hear her heart breaking parting words. “This is me. N
ow
you see me, now you get it. I don’t deserve my pumpkin or my tree, never did.”

That’s where she’s wrong.

I
can’t think about what just went down. Shit. We’re both right, and I know it. The problem is, as much as I want and need his love, I have to finish what I started. If he chooses to walk away, I’ll know that I was loved once and that, while I won’t live long, he will. This way, he’ll be safe. It took me a moment to realize my pocket was buzzing, and I look to see a text from Tony.
‘need to talk to you’
was all it said. I reply with
‘give me 30’
and hit send. My phone rings, and its Macy. Before I answer, I take a deep breath and remind myself that Rogan wouldn’t be the only one to miss me, my best friend would, too.

“Hey Macy.”

“I have a problem,” she says. “That dick detective just approached me at Eastern Market.”

“Which dick?”

“I don’t know his name,” she says. “The one from the club I accidently tazed on purpose,”

“Rafe,”

“What kind of name is Rafe? Do you want to know what he offered to do to me with a cucumber and a cantaloupe?”

“Not really.”

“I’m sparing you, believe me.”

“What did he want?”

“Aside from seducing me with produce, I don’t really know.”