Bidding War (7 page)

“I don’t know,” she said, reaching out to take his hand. “I’ve never taken anyone with me before. It may upset him.”

Based on what she’d told him about Tommy’s condition, he questioned whether the young man would even be aware of his presence, but he didn’t want to challenge her. “Listen, I heard we’re in for some nasty weather this weekend, honey. I don’t want you driving that little car there all by yourself in that.”

She seemed to consider his words as she nibbled on her lip. Wrapping her arms around her bent legs, she settled her head in the circle of her arms as she looked at him. “It won’t be easy, Shane. Sometimes he lashes out, gets violent. He can’t help it, but…”

He closed his eyes as he pulled her into her arms, settling her back against his chest. He hated that she’d had to endure so much alone. He was committed to doing whatever he could to make things easier for her from now on. “Baby, don’t worry about me. I can handle it.”

She pressed her lips to his forearm. “I just don’t want you to think badly of him. He’s a good kid. He just gets frustrated sometimes. It’s like he’s a prisoner in his own body. I hate to see him like that.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Have you ever thought about moving him to a facility nearby, so you wouldn’t have to travel so far to see him?”

“I’ve thought about it, but that’s the only home he’s known since the accident. I’m afraid the stress of moving him might be too much for him. It wouldn’t be fair.”

He could tell she was the type of woman who always put other people’s needs above her own, but he wanted her to learn to put herself first sometimes. She deserved that. “Sweetheart,” he said carefully, kissing her shoulder, “do you feel guilty about what happened to your brother?”

She tipped her head back to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“Do you feel guilty that you’re able to live a normal life and he isn’t? Is that why you’ve restricted your pleasure, forced yourself to suffer, to endure…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, trying to break free of his arms.

Holding her tighter against his chest, he said quietly, “I think you do. Think about it. You haven’t made love to a man. You’ve never had a serious relationship, and you force yourself to get by with the bare necessities. It’s as though you feel you don’t deserve to enjoy your life or experience happiness because of what happened to Tommy. He’ll never have a normal relationship, get married, have kids, a home of his own, so you don’t feel you have the right to those things either.” He knew his insight could backfire, but what she was doing was so painfully obvious, and if she didn’t acknowledge it, they would never be able to have the kind of relationship he wanted.

“You’re wrong. You don’t understand,” she said, trying to pry his arms away. “Let me go. I have to go home…”

“No, you don’t,” he said, refusing to relinquish his hold on her. “You have to talk to me. You have to face this.”

Shaking her head, she began crying. She swiped at the tears sliding down her cheeks. “You don’t understand. You couldn’t possibly understand unless you’ve been through what I have, what we have.”

He pulled her back into the protective circle of his arms, holding her until the tears finally subsided. After kissing her damp cheek, he said, “You’re right. I don’t understand what you’ve been through, but I’d like to. I want you to open up to me, tell me what this has done to you, Lacy.”

“This isn’t about me. I don’t have the right to complain about what that accident took from me when it robbed my brother of the chance at a normal life.” She choked back a sob. “It wasn’t fair, Shane. He was just a kid. He had his whole life ahead of him. Why did that have to happen to him?”

Closing his eyes, he tried to find the strength to face her anguish. It was heart-wrenching to watch someone he cared about in so much pain and know he couldn’t do anything to help her. “I don’t know, baby. No one knows why the hell these things happen. It’s not fair, but we can’t undo it. We just have to try and cope.”

She turned into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. “This isn’t your problem. I don’t want to burden you with this.”

He pulled back, holding her head. “Hey, listen to me. I want you in my life, and that means that whatever life throws at us, we face it together.”

She shook her head. “No, I couldn’t ask you to take on my problems. It wouldn’t be fair.”

He kissed her lips gently and forced her to look him in the eye. “Listen to me. For the past six months, I’ve stood on the periphery of your life, waiting for you to let me in. You finally did tonight, and I’m not going to let you force me out again, no matter what you say.”

She stroked his cheek, smiling. “You’re such a good man, but I can’t expect anyone else to take this on. The constant fear, stress, and anxiety eventually takes its toll. I don’t want that for you.”

He knew she was trying to protect him, but he wasn’t going to let her. It wouldn’t be easy, but she was worth it. “Lacy, I want you, period. Whatever it takes, whatever we have to go through, I don’t care. I just want you in my life.”

Another tear slipped down her cheek as she framed his face with her hands. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. The midnight calls where I have to get up and drive six hours because he’s had a set-back, or I have to sit by his bedside for days because he got pneumonia and they’re not convinced he’s strong enough to fight it.” She let her eyes fall to his lips. “That’s my life, Shane. It doesn’t have to be yours. You could have any woman you want. You’re smart, handsome, and successful. Please, do yourself a favor. Find a woman without all of this baggage. You’ll fall in love with her, get married, have a couple of kids, and a nice normal life. That’s what you deserve.”

“There’s only one problem with your little scenario, sweetheart.” He knew it was now or never for them. Either he broke down her defenses or risked being shut out again.

“What’s that?”

“I’m already in love… with you.”

Chapter Six

No one had ever said those words to her before. She’d never let anyone get close enough to fall in love with her. “I…”

He pressed his lips to hers, easing back just enough to look her in the eye. “I don’t expect you to say anything, Lacy. I know this is sudden, unexpected… I just want you to know how I feel. I’m in this for the long haul. I want to get to know you, your brother. Hell, I want to know everything about you.”

She could tell him she was falling in love with him too; it was true. If she was honest with him and herself, she would admit she fell a little harder every time he stopped by one of their projects in the middle of the day to bring her coffee or lunch. Every time they toured a completed project and he settled his hand on her waist as he praised her efforts. She loved everything about this man from the way he treated the contractors on the job, the sarcastic side that often came out around his brother, to the tenderness he’d shown her tonight. He was everything she’d ever wanted but never dared to hope she’d find.

Smiling, he said, “Why don’t we clean up and go back to my place?”

She wanted nothing more than to spend the night in his arms. No doubt the fear and doubt would creep back into her mind tomorrow, but for tonight, she was satisfied to let him help her keep the negativity at bay a little while longer. “I’d like that, but could you follow me to my place? I need to pick up a change of clothes so we can leave on time tomorrow.”

He smiled, stroking her cheek. “Does that mean you’re going to let me come with you?”

She was still apprehensive about letting someone into that part of her life, a part she’d always kept safely ensconced, but she trusted him. “If you’re sure you want to come?”

“Absolutely, we’ll make a weekend of it. Spend some time with Tommy, Mrs. Roberts, have a few nice meals, and maybe even take in a movie. How does that sound?”

It sounded like a vacation to her. She rarely dined out and couldn’t remember the last time she’d been to a movie theater. Money was tight, and that meant she had to save every dime for the essentials. “That sounds like fun.”

He leaned in to brush a kiss across her cheek. “I can’t remember the last time I so looked forward to spending time with a woman.”

She knew she had never felt about anyone the way she felt about him in that moment, so she couldn’t draw any comparisons between past and present. He was it, her only point of reference. Of course, she’d dated a few men, mostly guys from school or work, but she rarely found time to go out with them more than a few times, and by the time they were ready to initiate an intimate relationship, she was already rehearsing her “friends” speech.

“I feel the same way,” she whispered, running her hands through his hair. Erasing any doubts he might have about them or her was important. She may not be ready to tell him how she felt, but she intended to show him every chance she got.

He circled her waist, pulling her in close. “I’m so glad I came here tonight.” He chuckled. “I was afraid you were gonna shoot me down again, but I had to try one more time before I gave up.”

She thought what a loss it would have been if he had given up on her, not that she would have blamed him. He’d already endured more rejection than most men would be willing to tolerate. “I’m glad you came too, Shane. Tonight was amazing.”

He ran his hand up her back. “You’re not sore, are you?”

Wrinkling her nose, she said, “Maybe a little, but it was worth it.” She wrapped her arms around his neck as she fixed her gaze on his lips. “You’re an incredible lover… not that I have anyone compare you to.”

He laughed, causing the soft lines around his green eyes to deepen. “I’m not complaining, believe me.” He sobered quickly, staring into her eyes. “I want you to know how much it means to me that you trusted me enough to let me make love to you tonight, sweetheart.”

Her heart clenched at the sweet statement. Knowing that he understood what it cost her to take this risk tonight made her realize that he was getting to know the woman behind the façade she presented to the rest of the world, and that thrilled and terrified her at the same time. “It was the right time, and you were the right man,” she said quietly, settling her palms against his chest. “No matter what happens between us, I’ll never regret what happened tonight.”

He frowned, tipping her chin. “What the hell does that mean? It sounds like you’re already writing me off.” When she didn’t respond right away, he scowled. “You need to know something about me, Lacy. I have more than one side. The guy you were with tonight was just one part of who I am.”

She felt her heart race, feeling the fear of his implied threat. “I don’t understand. Are you trying to tell me you were pretending to be someone you’re not just to get me to sleep with you?”

He took a step back, raking his hands through his hair. “No, hell no. How can you even ask me that?” He sighed. “Listen, I’m just saying that I didn’t get where I am without being determined. When I see something I want, I go after it with everything I’ve got, and I don’t let anything get in my way.” He lowered his voice, moving in closer. “And I want you, only you.”

The breath she’d been holding escaped in a small gasp as he closed his hands over her shoulders. “I see.”

“No, you don’t, but you will.” His eyes scanned her face, as though he was trying to read her thoughts. “I came here tonight willing to try one more time, but if you shut me down again, I was willing to walk out without looking back.”

Lowering her head, she chose not to respond. He still seemed angry, frustrated, and she didn’t want to say anything else to fuel his temper.

“But everything changed for me when you let me make love to you. I’m not willing to walk away now, Lacy. Not without a fight.”

She didn’t know whether to be relieved or alarmed. It almost sounded as though he was giving her fair warning.

“Don’t you have anything to say to that?”

She shrugged, trying to avoid the frustration she saw in his eyes. She knew she’d disappointed him, but she didn’t know what to do to rectify the situation. She wasn’t in a place emotionally where she could start making declarations, and she knew making false promises would hurt their working relationship if things didn’t work out between them. As much as she wanted it to last, she knew relationships were a risk with no guarantees. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He closed his eyes and tipped his head back. “Nothing, you don’t have to say anything. Let’s just get dressed and get out of here, okay?”

She grabbed his forearm when he reached to pick up his clothes. “You don’t have to come with me this weekend. Maybe it would be best if we just took a breather to process all of this.”