Beautiful Together (22 page)

I laughed. "Just visiting Amy over there." I pointed casually. "She's Arielle Walker's cousin."

"Wow, really?" he asked. He broke our embrace and faced her.

"Amy, this is Jesse, an old friend. Jesse, this is Amy."

They shook hands in a perfunctory way. And then Jesse was right back to me, like Amy never existed at all. "So what have you been up to? It's been such a
long
time."

Again, that feeling of nervousness hit me like a tsunami. I didn't really have anything to say. "Not a whole lot, I guess. What are you up to?"

"I started a company with those other guys, and we're here meeting with some investors. I'm still blown away by all that's going on." His enthusiasm was plentiful, but there was still a considerable hint of humility.

"That's amazing," I said. "What sort of company?"

"Kind of a tech thing. We're designing apps for business. I mean, it's kind of a long story, but I'd love to tell you sometime." He cleared his throat. "I mean, if you're interested."

There was a long, drawn out pause, a moment in which a thousand thoughts probably raced through both of our heads.

"Awesome," I finally said. "Yeah, I'd love to hear it."

"Do you... want to join us?" Jesse asked, a warm grin on his face.

I felt my own smile forming, but I fought to keep my real feelings subdued. I
really
wanted to talk to him, even with everything from the past. This was like an incredible rendezvous, one so unlikely it made my head spin.

"I mean, I just ate, but... I could..." I glanced over at Amy—on her face was that same look of disappointment I had seen when she talked about Arielle disappearing on her.

As rare as this encounter was, I just couldn't do that to her. My heart fluttered, my stomach doing cartwheels. "I can't tonight," I muttered, staring down at the floor. "I'm totally exhausted. We were out dancing all night. How long are you here, though? Can we meet up some other time?"

"Until Wednesday," he said.

"Cool. I'm here until Thursday."

He nodded. "So let's meet up for coffee or something. I'll give you my new number."

We exchanged numbers; hitting the save button felt like something far more permanent and serious than it normally did. This wasn't a casual exchange of numbers.

"Well, I've got to get going," he said finally. "They're waiting for me in there. Impatiently."

"Yeah, okay," I said. I hadn't even noticed them leave. There was a moment of silence. The last time we had spoken, it had been nightmarish. So what happened now?

We awkwardly hugged goodbye, and despite the fact that it was shorter than the hug that came before it, I still
felt
it. "It was... nice to see you, Jesse," I said as I pulled away.

"Hey," he said, looking down at his shoes and then back up to me. "I'm sorry about what happened... last time. I just wanna say that I still think about it a lot."

I nervously bit my lip. "Uh, yeah, I mean, it's been a long time. It's okay, I guess."

Again silence. "I mean, it's
not
okay, but I don't mean to dump all of this on you right now. It's just—"

"No, no, don't worry," I said, cutting him off.

"I should go, though," he said, pointing to the restaurant. "We'll talk soon, okay?"

"Yeah," I said, nodding. "Send me a text or something."

"It was nice meeting you, Amy." I had actually forgotten that she was there.

"You too," Amy called. "You ready?" she asked.

"Yeah." I turned away as Jesse walked into Duck and Waffle. He disappeared as he rounded a corner. That was it; the incredible chance meeting was over.

Amy pressed the elevator button, and thankfully, it was right there waiting for us because it instantly dinged and opened. We stepped inside and she hit the lobby button.

"You've got a major crush on that guy, huh?"

"What?" I said incredulously. "A crush on
Jesse
?" Although my initial response was that she was wrong, I couldn't deny those bizarre feelings of lust that had surfaced inside of me. Feelings of pulsing hunger and want.

"It was so obvious," she said. "I mean, he's cute, so I can see why. But I could definitely tell
something
was up."

I felt my cheeks getting hot. "Jesse? He's just an old friend. We grew up together."

"That doesn't mean anything," she said. "You're a girl and he's a guy—guys and girls get together. Well, sometimes guys and guys and girls and girls get together too, but—"

I swallowed uncomfortably and cut her off. "I don't know," I said. "I was just shocked to see him. That's all."

She seemed to pick up on my tension. "I'm just joking," she said. "But he
is
cute. I hope it's okay to say that."

I nodded. "I guess so." I didn't want to battle her. I blankly stared forward as the elevator door opened. The rest of the way home, I was on autopilot, taciturn, yet still responsive. Mostly yes and no answers. I had a lot on my mind. For some reason, I actually felt alive again, like I had been a walking corpse until that very moment.

I had sobered up in more ways than I could count.

After we got back to Amy's place, she fetched me a heap of blankets and pillows out of the closet, and quickly retreated to her room.

I laid them across the couch and settled in, just as the sun was starting to rise. I couldn't stop thinking about Jesse. I couldn't stop feeling those strange and unfamiliar feelings.

I felt like I had witnessed a murder and was finally getting over the shock and realizing what I actually saw. Whatever this was, it felt
big.

After close to an hour of tossing and turning, I finally fell asleep.

27

When I woke the next morning, I felt like the previous night was a dream. I went with Amy to the breakfast place down the street, but I wasn't all that hungry. After picking at my omelet for over ten minutes, she finally turned up the heat.

"What's up, Naomi?" she asked. For a brief flash, I thought she was Arielle and we were back at Tanner's Coffee from our high school days. But the moment passed.

I didn't even pause. "Did that
really
happen last night? Did I really run into
him
?"

To my dismay, her phone trilled suddenly, interrupting my deliberate attempt to find clarity. "Oh, it's
Arielle
. She's going to be back at my place in a while."

I nodded, hit by a surge of annoyance as she tapped in a response.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" I was thrilled to see her phone disappear into her purse.

I felt unnerved and lost. "I'm struggling to come to terms with what happened last night. I never thought I'd ever see him again."

"Well, you're lucky you did since he's such a hottie." After her remark, she quickly sensed that I wasn't in any mood to play around and abruptly purged the smile from her face. "I'm sorry. Is there more to this story than you're telling me? Most people don't get this worked up about merely running into an old friend."

I took a deep breath. "Okay."

Between forced nibbles of omelet and tiny sips of coffee, I gave her an abbreviated summary of my tumultuous high school experience. I told her
everything
. It was the first time I had shared the full story in years, and it was tough.

"That's really crazy," she said during one of my pauses. "So he was your
best friend
, huh?"

"Until our sophomore year, yeah."

"But you were both kids then," she said. "People grow apart sometimes. It's natural."

"It didn't
feel
natural," I contested. "I don't know."

"Well, I mean, it's terrible what happened to Mason, like super depressing. And I'm sorry about everything with Jesse. That all really sucks, and I understand why you're still upset." She took a quick sip of coffee. "I would still be upset too."

"Yeah," I said. "It's tough."

"But you've got to move forward at some point, Naomi. You can't keep clinging to the past. It's been a long time since high school, right? Maybe... this is your chance."

I digested her words carefully for a moment. "But if I go talk to him, isn't that like the same thing I'm supposed to get over? I feel like I'll just be re-opening old wounds or something."

"It's all up to you," she said. "Maybe he'd like to make peace, to finally say the words he never had the balls to say. I don't know. It's been years; he's probably changed. But you don't have to meet him if you don't want to."

"Yeah." I finished my coffee and set the mug down.

"But it sounds like you
want
to do this. Like you're super curious. So go meet him and see what he says. And don't worry about Arielle and me or feel guilty because of my complaining last night. I was just drunk and overly emotional. We can definitely entertain ourselves."

"Sure," I said. I fidgeted in the booth. Jesse was only here for a few more days, just like us. And then he was off to somewhere else. "Yeah, I guess I'll give it a shot."

About an hour after our conversation, Arielle met back up with us and apologized profusely to Amy. Amy promptly accepted the apology without any resistance at all. They settled their disagreements quickly, and it was impressive to watch.

After another lighthearted hour passed, Jesse texted me to ask if I wanted to get coffee the next day. Urged on by the both of them, I said
yes
. He gave me the name and the address of the place, and told me to be there around one.

Whoa.

***

So it was the night before I'd finally get reacquainted with my long lost friend, and predictably, we were out drinking—but I was just having water.

I felt like Arielle's Mai Tai that was being shaken into oblivion at the bar in front of me. Around and around the drink went, the ice cubes clicking loudly, blending until it was a dark and creamy orange color. And when the concoction was finished, the bartender robotically dumped it all into another glass and shoved it toward Arielle.

My emotions were that same sort of mixed color after
also
being forcefully blended until I didn't recognize them anymore.

Arielle frowned. "You're not going to drink with us?"

"I feel too...
emotional
," I said. "I think alcohol would only exacerbate it. I'm confused enough already."

"But Naomi, we're on vacat—"

Amy cut her off. "She said she didn't want to drink, Arielle. Just let it go."

"Okay, fine. So, Jesse Evans. I kind of remember him."

"You probably walked past him sometimes in the hall," I said.

"Huh," she said. "I can kinda picture him. Jesse Evans." She smirked suddenly. "Wait, is he the one who had sex in the girls' locker room?"

"God," I whined. "Please don't remind me."

"Shit, okay, sorry," she said, stopping to sip her drink. "Yeah, I remember him. And then you got into a fight on your porch."

I nodded. "Yeah, him."

"He's cute," Amy said. "Really cute. But he sounds like a player if he's taking girls into the—"

"Okay, guys," I said, grimacing. "I get it."

"Sorry," they said, both of them obviously a bit drunk.

She kept mentioning how attractive he was throughout the night, and despite the fact that I felt like I might actually agree, I wasn't going to admit it.

"It's gonna be fine, dude," Arielle added suddenly. "I know you're worked up, but what's the worst that could happen? It might be
awkward
? So what? It'll just continue like it already was. Nothing will change."

"Yeah." I took a drink of the water and chewed on a couple of ice cubes, crunching until they were chilly slush in my mouth. I swallowed the cold with a gulp of water.

"Maybe it'll go well," Amy said. "And you'll have a renewed friendship. Or
more
than friendship."

There it was again. Why did they always have to bring
that
up? It's like the second that you became an adult you couldn't be
just friends
with the opposite sex anymore. I hated that. "Maybe," I muttered quietly, unenthused.

"Listen," Arielle said, "drunk or not, we're going to karaoke. Are you in, Naomi? Have a little fun—it'll make the waiting easier."

I stared back at the two of them, their faces lit with excitement, their gleeful grins seriously contagious. I couldn't help but feel like they actually knew what was best for me.

Arielle's phone trilled in my moment of deliberation. She looked at it and then returned her eyes to mine. "Elise passed her exams!" she announced loudly. "She got a ninety-eight percent! It's time to celebrate!"

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. I could only be stubborn for so long, and then Arielle would eventually win—unless I fled. But fleeing wasn't an option while I was in London.

"I'll have a
couple
drinks," I said. "Not ten. Not a hundred. Just a couple."

"Fine," Arielle said. "I'll take that." She hoisted up her Mai Tai. "To our beloved Elise, the best hairstylist on the planet!"

I ordered a gin and tonic.

***

I woke the next morning with a raging headache and hangover. The room was so bright I felt like I was in a tanning booth.

"Shit," I groaned as I sat up in bed.
How many drinks did I have again?

I couldn't remember. But that was normal when you went out with Arielle.

I took a long swig of my water bottle and put on some clothes. The only thing I
could
remember—and it was definitely vaguely—was singing Lady Gaga and Backstreet Boys songs at karaoke. It probably wasn't our best performance either.

I downed three ibuprofen in the bathroom, and then followed the scent of coffee into the kitchen like a dog hunting a pheasant. Catherine always set her fancy coffeemaker to automatically produce a fresh pot for us after she left from work, a gesture we always found to be incredibly sweet and utterly necessary for sanity.

Although the coffee was about an hour old, it was hot and adequate. I grabbed a huge mug and filled it to the top and sat down on the couch to peacefully sip.

It was smooth on the way down, and I could feel the caffeine kicking in with the ibuprofen. My headache rapidly faded away as warmth filled my body.

I sighed hard. Today was the day. The big day, whatever that meant.

This would be my first solo exploration, so I was a little nervous.

My first cup of coffee down, I jumped in the shower and cleaned up. The water was incredibly warm and comforting, so good that I didn't want to get out. Reluctantly, after about twenty minutes, I finally did.

I was torn between looking nice or feeling comfortable, but comfortable eventually won out. I put on a casual blouse and a pair of jeans, and then threw my hair into a ponytail.

As I sat down and put on my tennis shoes, Arielle stumbled out of her room, her hair a disheveled mess, her giant faded Ramones
t-shirt hanging almost to her knees.

"Hey," she grunted. "Coffee?"

"Coffee there," I said like a Cavewoman, pointing at the pot, trying not to giggle like an idiot.

"Good." She poured herself a cup and sipped in silence.

"I'm... heading out," I said reluctantly. "To meet Jesse."

Her expression visibly changed as the caffeine set in. "Don't worry," she said. "It's probably no big deal." I was surprised to hear full sentences after our earlier primitive exchange.

"I know," I said.

"He probably wants to catch up and apologize. You guys haven't spoken in a long time. It'll be good for both of you. Healthy even."

I felt a smile breaking out across my face. "Thanks, Arielle."

"You've been through a lot," she said. "You're just meeting a friend. It's no big deal. Tell yourself that if you get too nervous."

"Yeah, thanks." I looked at my phone and realized it was time to leave. "I gotta go. I'll... talk to you later."

"I'm excited to hear all about it!"

I waved back and walked down the long front hall. When I was outside the apartment, I closed the door quietly and proceeded into the elevator. A couple of minutes later, I was in the lobby. Every step seemed abnormally meaningful when it led me toward such a major event.

Before heading outside, I double checked the directions in my phone to make sure I knew which train to get on. When I had it all memorized for the twentieth time—I
hated
looking like a newbie when riding public transportation and always did everything possible to prevent myself from appearing that way—I headed out into the day, moving briskly to prevent myself from stopping and giving up.

The train ride was dull, drab, predictable. I zoned out, but my mind kept running in wild circles.
Where was Jesse living? What did he think of me? What did his company do? Did he have some ulterior motive for meeting me? Why the hell did we grow so far apart in the first place?

I barely got off at the right stop, having to sprint toward the door as it was already closing. And then I almost accidentally tackled an old lady after rushing onto the platform. I apologized profusely and then continued.

After I got to street level, I checked my cell phone—I was still twenty minutes early. Nevertheless, I continued power walking as I tried to find the place. After wading through the crowds on the street, I finally found the sign for FreeState Coffee and headed toward the door.

Since I was early, I decided that I would just grab a table and wait for him to show up. But as I passed along the window toward the entrance, I saw Jesse sitting there, his stubble more defined than it was the last time I saw him; he really did look like a man now.

He grinned and waved. I feigned a smile as I realized this was
really happening
.

I took a deep breath and pushed open the door. My heart pounded, my stomach churned, my palms sweat.

As I stepped inside, the pungent aroma of coffee almost knocked me over. And then he was there, hugging me, smiling and telling me how excited he was to see me.

And I said the same things back—and I
meant
them. I could barely believe the cocktail of feelings flowing through my bloodstream. I felt warm and affectionate and caring and
alive
in a way I hadn't experienced in so long.

Jesse had on a tight black jacket and a pair of snug, worn jeans, and as much as I wanted to avoid even
thinking
it, he looked sexy as hell. I didn't understand what I was feeling, that volatile energy that kept taking on so many different forms.