Allure (24 page)

‘You done yet, Mr Cannon?’ she murmurs, resting her mouth against mine, her fingers winding in my hair.

‘Are you?’

She laughs quietly, and the sound vibrates through her into me and I feel it melt into the depths of my very soul. But as I look into her eyes, the mood is changing. The game is shifting to another level and it’s obvious that we want to be alone now.

She keeps her eyes locked with mine as she reaches behind her and brings Kandi-Ann around to join us, breaking the stare only to whisper something to the other woman. And then she smiles and kisses her slowly, which turns me on all over again, before Kandi-Ann grabs her things and leaves the bedroom.

‘We’re alone now, Mr Cannon.’

I bury my fingers in her hair, pulling her down for the deepest kiss, and my head is still spinning. And I still don’t care.

I don’t think I care about anything anymore...

Kira

My skin’s burning up; every time his mouth moves against mine another rush of heat engulfs me and I’m in no hurry to end this. And we’re alone now, because I think I’ve taken the first part of this game to its necessary level. He’s with me, he gets this, he loves the crazy sex and the way it makes him feel alive. But I want him alone now.

‘Come on,’ I whisper, climbing off him and taking his hand. ‘I think we need to get cleaned up, don’t you?’

He smiles, because he knows exactly what we’re going to do next and the butterflies kicking around inside me feel like they’ve suddenly multiplied ten-fold.

I don’t once let go of him as we head into the bathroom, in fact, we kind of kiss our way there, and I love the way we can’t keep our hands off each other and it’s real, what I’m feeling. It’s real.

I switch the shower on and pull him into the cubicle, the jets of warm water heightening everything as wet skin touches wet skin. I want him to wash me – I want to wash him; want to soap his body all over and close my eyes as he does the same to me. I want to feel him cleanse every inch of my skin and then fuck me up against the wall as the water continues to rain down on us. I want us soaking wet as he rams his cock inside me, hard and fast, and then I want him to slow down, take it easy, lessen the pace until the frustration becomes unbearable.

He pushes me back against the tiles, and it’s like he’s reading my mind as he takes the shower gel and squeezes some into the palm of his hand, his eyes never leaving mine as he rubs his hands together and I feel like I’m about to explode with anticipation. My breathing’s heavy, my chest rising and falling as my heart beats hard against my ribs. And then he touches me, his eyes following his hands as they rub my shoulders, soaping my skin, and when they fall to my breasts, his thumbs flicking over my nipples as he makes light, circular motions with his fingers, I close my eyes and bite down on my lip, throwing my head back as quiet, tiny moans escape me.

He moves down even lower, his mouth on my neck as his hands soap my stomach, sliding around to touch my back, my bottom, and that’s when the moans grow louder. He concentrates on my bottom a little longer, pushing himself against me as he soaps me up and I feel his cock dig into my hip. I don’t know how he’s managed to keep it hard for so long over such a short period of time but I’m pleased he’s a man with a hell of a lot of stamina. He needed it this afternoon. I play a tough game, but he plays just as hard. We’re a perfect match.

He pulls back slightly, dropping his hands lower, sliding one between my legs and I close my eyes again as he rubs me gently and kisses me slowly and every emotion I tried to deny I had for this man comes rushing forward, closing in on me as he pulls his hand away, and the frustration overwhelms me.

But he isn’t finished. He reaches for the flannel and slides his hands back up my soaking wet body, rinsing off the soap in more gentle, circular motions – my hips, stomach, underneath my breasts and as he does that he leans over and covers a nipple with his mouth. I bury my fingers in his hair and push him against me as the water continues to rain down on us, pulling his head up so I can kiss him. I love kissing him. I love fucking him, but I love kissing him just as much. I’d kissed him before I’d fucked him and I felt it even then, that very first night, I’d just tried to ignore it. I’m not doing that anymore.

‘Your turn, handsome,’ I whisper, squeezing some gel into my hand and resting it against his chest, throwing him a smile before I start rubbing, the soap lathering up under the water jets. He’s so hard, his skin so taut and smooth he’s almost unreal; a man so beautiful I still can’t believe he’s here and he wants me but he does. He wants me. For all that I am. All that I used to be. He wants me.

I hold his gaze as I drop my hands, caressing his hips, aware that his cock is throbbing against me. And I take hold of it, and his sigh of relief is clearly audible above the sound of the water hitting the tiled floor. He throws back his head and groans louder as I run my hands over him, cupping his balls before moving around to his lower back and tight arse and it’s all I can do not to orgasm right there and then.

I slide my hands back around to his hips, up over his waist, and slowly soap his arms from wrist to shoulder, taking my time to feel his taut forearms, his upper arm muscles. He has the sexiest arms, all strong and tanned with the ability to hold me up against any wall while he fucks the life out of me. Which is what he’s going to do any second now. I think we’re clean. I think we’re ready.

He takes the flannel from my hand as I prepare to rinse the soap from his body but he’s skipping that bit. He tosses the flannel to the floor and picks me up, slamming me back against the tiles. I wrap my legs around him as he sinks into me, the water soaking us, and it’s the most beautiful feeling. He’s inside me, again, and he’s thrusting fast, ramming into me hard but the pain is beautiful and addictive and I’m almost sorry when he slows the pace. But that’s necessary. He knows what he’s doing. We both want this to last a little longer than five minutes.

His arms hold me steady as the pace quickens again and I lock my legs tighter around him, pushing him deeper into me and I cry out as his hips clash against mine, thudding my lower back into the wall behind me. It’s going to be bruised, and I’m going to be sore but I don’t care. I’m not sure I care about anything anymore. Except this. And Neal Cannon. And what kind of crazy, fucked-up life we could live together. Because I think I’m all for that now.

‘I’m gonna come, baby,’ he murmurs into my ear before he explodes, and I feel every drop of him fill me up, gush out inside of me, and I let out the longest, lowest moan because it feels so good. So right. He really isn’t my client anymore.

He grasps my hips and moves me carefully up and down so my clit rubs gently against his stomach, giving me what I need to get myself off and it happens a heartbeat after his own climax ends, and he holds me tight as I let it all out; every cry that pierces the air is because I know what’s happening. Every drawn-out moan is because I know what this man has done to me, and I accept it. Every scream of pleasure is because I’m terrified of losing him; of losing
this
.

Whereas once I was convinced I didn’t need Neal Cannon to survive, now, as he holds me close and fucks me hard and whispers things to me no man has ever said before – now I’m not so sure.

Twenty-Five

Kira

‘You alright?’ Joey hands me a bottle of Prosecco. A bottle, not a glass. I swear he knows me far too well.

‘Of course I’m alright. Why wouldn’t I be?’

He looks over to where Neal is deep in conversation with Benni and Ricky, and then he turns back to face me. ‘I don’t know. But you two… it’s like you’re hiding something.’

‘Like what?’

I watch his face, and I know what he’s thinking.

‘No, Joey, it’s nothing like that. We haven’t even broached the subject of where this relationship goes next. I’m not going to
New York
, babe.’

‘Not yet.’

I give him a hug, a long hug. I don’t think I’ve given him a hug like this in a long time and suddenly it’s something I feel like I really need to do.

‘So why the secretive glances across the room every time he looks in your direction?’

I lean in closer to Joey, so my mouth is almost touching his ear. ‘Me and Kandi-Ann, we fucked for him this afternoon, and when she left we had hot, horny sex in the shower, so, he’s just saying thank you, for his birthday present.’

‘You’re a dirty bitch sometimes,’ Joey mock-scolds, but he knows Kandi-Ann and me used to be a popular double act on the escort circuit. We provided a service that was on demand more times than we could physically handle, which was why we’d eventually had to scale back the amount of times we made our girl-on-girl act available. It just made more sense. Keeping up with the daily requests was way too exhausting. But, it was nice to go there again today, and give Neal something to remember into the bargain. ‘I’m taking it he doesn’t mind another woman touching you, then?’

I shrug as I move back from him. ‘He wasn’t complaining at the time.’

‘I imagine the poor bastard didn’t have much choice, what with you two coming at him double-barrelled. And I could have done without the bit about the shower, thank you.’

‘Jealous?’ I throw him a smirk as I knock back a mouthful of Prosecco straight from the bottle.

Joey purses his lips and folds his arms as he frowns at me. ‘I thought you were trying to be a lady?’

‘What? Just because I have a man now I have to become a lady? Besides…’ I throw him another smirk and take another swig, ‘I think he prefers it when I play the filthy whore.’ I wink at him and sashay over to Neal, sliding a hand into the small of his back then down on to his hip as I lean in to kiss his neck.

‘Hey, beautiful.’

‘Hey back, handsome.’

‘You doing OK?’

‘It should be me asking
you
that. I can only apologise for Joey forcing this party on you. My fault. I told him it was your birthday.’

He smiles, and I feel my insides jump about, all of them, in different directions so I feel both dizzy and slightly sick. He’s got my emotions all over the place but I’m starting to learn how to handle them now. Slowly. ‘I like surprises.’ He moves a little closer, his mouth almost touching mine. ‘Especially when they involve my girl all naked and wet, soaping my cock before she lets me fuck her hard…’

He kisses me, and I groan into him, falling against him and it’s only his arms holding me up. Right at this minute, if he lets me go I know my knees’ll give way.

‘I’m scared, Neal.’

I really didn’t mean to say those words out loud but I couldn’t stop them. For a brief, fleeting second a fear took over that came from out of nowhere. Or maybe it’s just been lying dormant for a while, waiting to see if we’d ever reach the stage where it needed to put in a reappearance.

‘So am I, baby.’

‘You and me… where is this really going?’

This isn’t a conversation we should be having in the middle of a Bam-Bams party. We should be having this conversation alone, at home, at an appropriate time but my head is still all messed-up from this afternoon and everything that’s happened. Because it’s all happened so fast. And I think it might just have all caught up with me now.

‘Where is it going, Neal?’

He keeps me pressed against him, and I cling on to his waist and rest my head on his shoulder as he just holds me, and I know he’s thinking the same as me. I know he’s been thinking it for a while. ‘Honestly?’ he asks, and I look up at him.

‘Honestly.’

‘I’m not gonna lie, Kira. I want you to come home, with me. To
New York
. And after this afternoon, I want that even more. And I’m gonna fight to the death on this one, darlin’. You hear me?’

I feel my stomach dip and once again that feeling of losing control swamps me. I knew we couldn’t carry on like this, not if we really wanted to try and make something work. And Joey’s right, a long distance thing just isn’t going to cut it. The pull is still too physical; we need to be near one another, all the time. I’m his obsession, and he’s mine, I know that now. I accept it. I
want
it. But he’s asking me to leave everything I know behind. Again. He’s asking me again, only, this time it’s serious.

I take his hand and drag him out to the corridor that leads to the dressing rooms. It’s a bit quieter out there. And maybe this isn’t the time to talk about this, but we do need to talk. Back home there’s too much of a chance we’ll just use sex as a distraction. And we need to talk.

‘I don’t know if I can do it, Neal. Leave everything behind and move to another country, just like that. I don’t know if I can do it.’

‘Do you love me, Kira?’

It’s the first time he’s asked me that. He’s told me he loves
me
, and I’m still not sure he does, not really. I’m still not sure you can love someone after such a short time, but what do I really know about love? I’ve never been there, never known what it feels like. Until I met Neal those feelings were alien to me, but – I don’t know if what I feel for him is love. I don’t. Not yet.

‘I don’t know,’ I whisper, and he cups my cheek and kisses me, and I still don’t know. Confusion is starting to take over and I hate that it’s pushing its way forward when it hasn’t surfaced for a while.

‘Do you miss me when I’m not around?’ He rests his mouth against mine as he speaks and his voice vibrates right through me, making me shiver.

‘Yes,’ I breathe, because I do. He leaves the room to go to the fucking bathroom and I miss him.

‘Do you want me there, all the time? And I don’t just mean in bed. Do you want me with you, all the time?’

‘Yes.’ It’s like he’s hypnotising me with his words and those piercing blue eyes and I’m losing all kinds of control here.

‘Do you think about me constantly? When you close your eyes am I there? When you wake up in the morning am I the first thing you think about?’ He kisses me gently, his lips almost hovering above mine their touch is so light. And the most glorious shiver rocks my entire body all over again. ‘When we make love, do you never, ever want it to end? Do you want me inside you every possible chance we get?’

‘Oh, Jesus,
yes
…’ My stomach dips and he’s got me. We’re kissing like the world will end if we stop. His body’s pushed right up against mine and we’re failing so miserably at talking. As usual. But it needs to happen. We have to talk. We can’t go on having days where we’re so happy and we feel alive for the first time in years; days when it feels like everything’s OK, when it isn’t. Because we’re ignoring the biggest elephant in the room there could possibly be. And time’s running out. We can’t do that for much longer.

‘Neal… baby, come on, we need to get past this.’

He rests his forehead against mine, his thumb stroking my cheek. ‘Do you feel those things, Kira? Because
I
feel them. All of them. I feel them every fucking day and they’re real and they’re not going away. They didn’t even begin to fade when I was in New York, and when I got back here they only intensified so, I’m asking you, baby, do you
feel
those things?’

I stroke his face with my fingertips, running them over his rough chin, my eyes following their every move. ‘Yes,’ I whisper. And he smiles, and I don’t know what to do or feel and I’m lost. For a second. Until he kisses me again and pulls me back to where I need to be – on the edge of something new and dangerous but it’s something that’s making me
feel
. And I can’t let that go. I can’t.

‘Do you love me, Kira?’

He isn’t letting this one go. But I still don’t know what to say to him.

‘You feel those things, baby, you told me, I saw it in your eyes. You
feel
them. Do you love me, Kira?’

We lock eyes, and I’m helpless as I feel his hand touch my back, his thumb gently stroking a spot at the base that sends another shiver tearing through me. ‘I think I might.’

He smiles again, and he understands that’s all I can give him right now. I’ve never been big on fairytales, never really believed in happy-ever-afters and it’s just taking a lot of getting used to, that I might be on the verge of something that could lead to one of my own. I believe in fate, I have to, because I think Neal was sent to me for a reason. I believe in it. But I don’t think I fully trust it yet.

‘Come with me, Kira. I’ve asked you this once already, I’m asking you again now, and I’ll continue to ask until I get the answer I know you want to give me.’

‘I don’t think I have a choice, do I?’

‘You always have a choice, baby. I would never make you do something you didn’t want to do, but I truly believe that, deep down inside, you want to give this as much of a chance as I do. And I don’t think we can do it here, Kira.’

‘Because of what I used to be?’

He bows his head, and I feel my stomach dip again. The things we really need to talk about, they’re all coming out now. And I still don’t think this is the place to do this.

‘Let’s get out of here, OK? Just for a little while. I think we both need some fresh air.’

He raises his gaze and smiles.

Neal Cannon’s smile is all I need.

And that’s when I know for sure.

Neal

It’s a warm enough night as we take a seat on the Quayside, not all that far from The Draysman Hotel, the place where Kira and I first met. When I booked her for dinner that we never got around to eating, and hours of mindless, emotionless sex that ended up with me finding the kind of future I’ve been searching for ever since Lisa died.

The lights of the city spread out before us and I lean forward, clasping my hands together between my knees as I try to get my head straight. I wasn’t prepared for this conversation to happen tonight, but we both knew it was coming. And now it has, it does feel as though we’re setting some things in stone, and that makes me both nervous and excited. I’m moving forward after so many years of not moving at all. I think we both are. Because I think we both need to.

‘You have to be sure that you can live with the person I was, Neal.’

I look at her, her beautiful face made all the more ethereal in the moonlight. And I don’t say anything. I don’t think I need to.

‘I was an escort. For ten years. I went out with men for money. I fucked them for even more money. So many men have touched me, Neal. So you need to be sure…’

‘I was one of those men, Kira. The kind you’ve spent ten years meeting and sleeping with and accompanying on fake dates. I was one of those men. So I’m sure, OK, baby? I can live with anything you put out there, darlin’, believe me.’

‘I just think…’

‘You think what, Kira? That because you spent so long doing what you did you don’t deserve to find anything real? You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live again.’

‘I’m just… I’m confused, Neal. And everything’s happening so fast I…’

‘Let’s just grab it and run, Kira. How about that, huh?’ I turn to face her, and I’m serious now. I’m fucking serious. I’m sick of the messing around, tired of the doubts that don’t matter; tired of waiting for this to start. ‘Let’s just grab whatever the hell this is and fucking run.’

She smiles, and it starts off small at first, as though she still isn’t sure but then it widens, until her beautiful face is transformed and I’ve got her. I know I have.

I reach out and touch her cheek, leaning in to kiss her so gently I barely touch her, but I know she likes that, to begin with. So I go in again, kissing her a little harder this time, and then it’s full-on mouth-to-mouth, and she’s in my arms and I’ve got her.

‘I’m not asking you to come with me to Mars on a one-way trip, Kira. I just want you to come home with me, and let’s see if we can make some kind of life together. It really doesn’t have to be so hard.’

She runs her fingers through my hair and I love it when she touches me like this. ‘What kind of life were you thinking of, handsome?’

I grin, and she smiles, and all of a sudden the world is a brighter, happier place and I’m free for the first time in fucking years – free from the guilt and the pain and the denial. ‘I’m kinda hoping for a wild and crazy one full of fucked-up sex and nights where we don’t sleep at all.’

‘You’ll never hold down a job with a lifestyle like that, Mr Cannon.’